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HOT OR NOT -- WEEK 7

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  • HOT OR NOT -- WEEK 7

    HOT OR NOT





    Week 1
    Week 2
    Week 3
    Week 4
    Week 5
    Week 6
    Week 7
    Quarter-Finals
    Semi-Finals
    Finals



    Playoffs

    Pirates!

    With their captain Singer unable to show, and in a dogfight with Mist and Paddington for the final playoff spot, the #1 overall pick in the TWDT 2019 Summer draft went Super Saiyan, as Mythril went 17-8, 14-10, 12-8, 20-5, 2.9 RPD, 2.9 RPD to carry his team to the promised land.

    The peg-legged plunderers went 5-1 on Sunday, accounting for nearly 1/3 of their win total across the entire season. Talk about saving your best for last!

    Their only loss came to Gryffindor, and just barely, requiring a Herculean 18-9 performance from Ogron to squeeze out a 50-48 win.

    Mist's 2-4 and Paddington's 1-5 ended up not being close to enough as Pirates left nothing to chance, seizing the 6th seed by three wins.




    Haze's 3-3 proved just enough to clinch the final bye into the Semi-Finals, as Lag & Luck's 3-3 kept them a single win behind. Lag & Luck had the bye in hand with a large lead in their TWDT-B match against Haze, but choked it away and will now have to play their way out of the Quarter-Finals.

    Fish and Win or Die had nothing to play for, and looked the part, with several players taking the week off.

    Gryffindor closed out the season rattling off 15 straight wins heading into the playoffs, capping off one of the most dominant seasons in TWDT history.

    Remember, TWDT-D starts 1 hour early in the playoffs to account for the Best-of-3 format.


    WARBIRD - 2 PM EDT

    #3 Fish v. #6 Win or Die
    #4 Lag & Luck v. #5 Pirates

    JAVELIN - 3:30 PM EDT

    #3 Lag & Luck v. #6 Pirates
    #4 Fish v. #5 Win or Die

    BASE - 5 PM EDT

    #3 Win or Die v. #6 Fish
    #4 Lag & Luck v. #5 Pirates


    TWDT-D


    Paddington vs. Mist
    50-44

    Lasenza ragequitting the season after driving everyone on Paddington crazy seemed to give the bears an initial boost, as they came out the gate strong with Spectacular (14-9), Midoent (10-8), Destruct (10-9), Tiny (9-9), and Exalt (7-9) taking down the competition.

    Tripin (12-10) and Pineapple Express (11-10), hungry for a playoff berth, hit back hard, but Flew, Jones, and Yoast couldn't get it done.

    HOT: Spectacular (14-9)
    NOT: Jones (5-10). With Riverside's pair of 1-10s against Paladen in TWLD and Eric Clapton's 0-10 ragequit, it seems Jones isn't far behind in the Sweet exodus of this game. If you can't go 1:1 against Tiny and Midoent in WB, it's probably time to hang it up.




    Haze vs. Lag & Luck
    50-39

    Iron Survivor (15-6) looked like the Incredible Hulk out there, stomping Lag & Luck into submission ahead of Zapata (12-4), Lockdown (11-10), Rough, and Felix_da_kat.

    JAMAL (13-10) was stalwart in this one, but couldn't carry the likes of Ardour, Burnt, Cripple or Trasher.

    HOT: Iron Survivor (15-6)
    HOT: Zapata (12-4)

    NOT: felix_da_kat (3-10). 3-10 on the winning team, this guy could snatch defeat from the jaws of victory... or a starting spot on Sweet S23.


    Gryffindor vs. Fish
    50-44

    Dak Attack!

    Due for a big game, Dak went berserk in this one, dropping a massive 18-9 with aplomb, leading Rasaq (10-6), Commodo (9-9), Okyo, and Legacy to the W, despite 3v4 for almost five minutes.

    Vys (16-10) continued his assault on the league, clinching the TWDT-D scoring title, but only Morph (10-10) achieved parity, as IXT, Bram, and Aprix negged.

    HOT: Dak (18-9)
    HOT: Vys (16-10)

    NOT: IXT (2-10). IXT negged harder than a frat guy at a freshman mixer. He did go positive... for Syphilis.


    Pirates vs. Win or Die
    50-44

    Pirates came out the gate swinging (cutlasses), as Mythril (17-8) looked like Dracule "Hawk Eyes" Mihawk out there, dicing up WoD with a ferocity hitherto unseen this season from the 3x TWLD Champ.

    Murder (13-10) and beam (9-7) were also on point, dragging along Kado and 7roll for the ride.

    On the losing team, Racka (17-10) matched his Rage counterpart blow-for-blow, but bitsaver, dreamwin, POSeidon, and Wirah were not up to the task.

    HOT: Mythril (17-8)
    HOT: Racka (17-10)



    Haze vs. Paddington
    50-25

    Iron Survivor (15-4) closed out the season strong, leading Rough (11-5), Lockdown (11-7), Zapata and Felix against the hapless Paddingtonians.

    Tiny (13-10) tried to will his team to victory, but Destruct, Exalt, Midoent, and Spectacular all failed to get more than 4 kills. Yikes.

    HOT: Iron Survivor (15-4)
    HOT: Tiny (13-10)
    HOT: Rough (11-5)

    NOT: Lasenza (Pussy). Lasenza quit on his team despite being in the mix for the final playoff spot, and was a toxic cloud over the team all season making them miserable. That makes him my CHUMP OF THE WEEK.




    Fish vs. Mist
    50-43

    Vys (15-7) was front and center, ahead of Aprix (10-6), Morph (12-10), Bram (11-10), and Swagger as they took down the Mistians, who were desperate for a win.

    Turban (13-10) couldn't save his floundering squad, with only Jones (10-10) reaching parity, as Pineapple Express, Tripin, and Yoast negged.

    HOT: Vys (15-7)
    HOT: Aprix (10-6)
    HOT Turban (13-10)

    NOT: Yoast (4-10). When they needed him the yoast, he let them down. Flew forgot to check which Pok?mon was in the Pok?ball before throwing it, realizing too late this Magikarp's only attack was splash.


    Lag & Luck vs. Win or Die
    50-44

    Burnt (15-7) flashed the old magic in warbird, as he and JAMAL (14-7) led Cripple (11-10), Trasher, and Ardour to the win.

    Dreamwin and Racka logged a pair of 11-10s, While wiley ol' Wirah weaved a 10-10 web, but a late sub-in from Jessup couldn't save the atrocious play of bitsaver and Poseidon.

    HOT: Burnt (15-7)
    HOT: JAMAL (14-7)

    NOT: Ardour (3-10).
    NOT: bitsaver (0-7). This score would look good in a mirror. Unlike your face. I'm just kidding, someone this bad at the game must be insanely good looking and have no motivation to develop any skills.





    Gryffindor vs. Pirates
    50-48

    Ogron (18-9) and Legacy (8-9) handed Pirates their only loss of the week, defeating Mythril and beam 2v2 at 48-48, to narrowly claim the W.

    Commodo (10-10), Dak, and Okyo (along with a tactical sub from Rasaq) provided support, as Gryffindor posted a 6-0 for the second consecutive week.

    Pirates featured Mythril (14-10), beam (12-10), and Kado (12-10) lighting it up, but Murder (8-10) and 7roll (2-10) proved liabilities.

    HOT: Ogron (18-9)
    HOT: Mythril (14-10)

    NOT: 7roll (2-10). Professional troll and unplayable shitstain 7roll singlehandedly cost his team the game, and made a huge mistake venturing out of his native habitat of spec. It was like shooting fish in a barrel out there... if those fish had strong opinions on how Donald Trump should execute migrants.
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  • #2
    TWDT-J


    Lag & Luck vs. Win or Die
    50-32

    Cripple (13-7), Mean Gene (11-8), JAMAL (8-4), Trasher (9-6), and Ardour (7-7) put in a balanced performance to take down WoD.

    Everyone on Win or Die negged.

    HOT: Cripple (13-7)
    HOT: Mean Gene (11-8)

    NOT: Sea Bass (4-10). Cam Neely over here sucked harder than the vacuum he paints lipstick on during date night with his Shop-Vac.

    I'm more of a Dirt Devil guy myself.


    Mist vs. Paddington
    50-34

    Turban (11-3) and draft (13-7) led Flew (9-6), Tripin, and Jones to the W in this blowout of their fellow playoff-adjacent team.

    Destruct, Midoent, Spectacular, Tiny, and Zidane couldn't get much going.

    HOT: Turban (11-3)
    NOT: Draft (13-7)



    Pirates vs. Haze
    50-46

    Pirates took down Haze in a close one, as Mythril (12-8), beam (11-9), and Kado (10-9) led the foray, with Rodney (11-10) and MC in tow.

    For Haze, Rough (15-10) let 'er rip, but no one else could hit 10.

    HOT: Mythril (12-8)
    HOT: Rough (15-10)

    NOT: Major Crisis (5-10). MC got Hammered, and on the winning team to boot. I guess when it comes to hitting 10 kills, MC can't touch this : )

    I'll see myself out...



    Gryffindor vs. Fish
    50-27

    The Gryffindorks kept the nerd train rolling, as Spezza (15-7) continued his dominance in TWDT-J, leading Okyo (11-4), Commodo (9-6), Kira (9-4) and Ogron to the victory.

    100% of their TKs were on Ogron... hopefully that doesn't have some deeper Freudian meaning :<

    Vys, Aprix, Bram, Morph, and Swagger failed.

    HOT: Spezza (15-7)
    HOT: Okyo (11-4)

    NOT: Swagger (2-10). You laugh, but Swagger makes six figures as the Before guy in Lasik ads.

    Forget Mr. Magoo here not being legally qualified to operate a forklift, he's not even allowed to operate a fork.


    Might poke an eye out.


    Mist vs. Win or Die
    50-40

    Tripin (12-8), Turban (10-9), draft (10-8), Jones (8-5) and Flew took down Win or Die for the W.

    Dreamwin (12-10) was muy caliente for Racka's squad, but Geio, Jurassic, Skatarius and uprise negged.

    HOT: Tripin (12-8)
    HOT: Dreamwin (12-10)

    NOT: JURASSUCK (3-10). Went from Jurassic to Permian in a flash, as the meteor that is Mist crashed into him like a scene outta Brokeback Mountain.


    Pirates vs. Lag & Luck
    50-33

    Mythril (20-5) put in a titanic performance (Greek mythology, not the ship), while Lag & Luck put in a Titanic performance (the ship, not Greek mythology), as Pirates dominated the team with the best record in TWDT-J.

    Kado (14-8), beam, Major Crisis, and Rodney aided in the win (some more than others).

    Ardour, Cripple, JAMAL, Mean Gene, and Trasher were outright bad.

    HOT: Mythril (20-5)
    HOT: Kado (14-8)

    NOT: Mean Gene (2-10). Let's hope Mean Gene turns into Revert-to-the-Mean Gene next week, as the TWLJ 15 Finals starter fell off the Y-Axis in this one.


    Fish vs. Paddington
    50-34

    Morph (14-8) and vys (13-8) led aprix (10-6), bram (8-5), and melanoma to the win.

    The hapless Paddingtonians were once again crushed, as destruct, midoent, spec, tiny and zid were ousted from TWDT.

    HOT: Morph (14-8)
    HOT: Vys (13-8)

    NOT: zidane (3-10). zid's alcohol level during this game:




    Gryffindor vs. Haze
    50-45

    Gryffindor did everything possible to gift Lag & Luck the bye (beating Haze twice this week), but they squandered it, as Ogron (11-8), Okyo (11-9), Commodo (10-9), Kira, and Spezza took down the #2 Seed in a tough win.

    Cuckold (13-10) had the game of his life, while Hulk (12-10) looked spry in ship 2, but Felix, Rough, Ra, and Iron Survivor negging did them in.

    HOT: Ogron (11-8)
    HOT: Okyo (11-9)
    HOT: Cuckold (13-10)

    NOT: Felix_da_Kat (5-10). Watching Felix is like watching Steven Seagal in Executive Decision over and over again -- the guy always dies out in the first 5 minutes.
    Last edited by ogron; 08-27-2019, 07:59 PM.
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    • #3
      TWDT-B


      Win or Die vs. Paddington
      15-7

      Win or Die took this despite some good resistance from Paddington, as Dreamwin (100) led Jurassic (99), Skatarius, Rozay, and Unlimited to the win, with bitsaver (46-4) in terr and Nipple and Joe in terr.

      Heaven (28-4) did a good job staying alive despite his team being outkilled by 100, ahead of Zidane and Oder.

      Magnum Size (85), midoent, scurvy, tiny, and TJ (76) were in spider.

      HOT: Dreamwin (100-42)
      HOT: Jurassic (99-55)



      Gryffindor vs. Fish
      15-0

      Banks (11-0) terred ahead of Commodo and Rab, with Davy, Spezza, Okyo, Terminator 17.5, and Holy Ship in spider as the Hogwarts howlers got the W.

      Fish terred morph, with bram and vys in shark, while aprix, clay, hellrazor, melanoma and swagger spidered.

      HOT: Commodo (3.0 RPD)
      HOT: Davy (64-18)
      HOT: Okyo (40-16)



      Pirates vs. Mist
      15-6

      Major Crisis (34-5) terred ahead of Mythril and Rodney, as Pirates slammed Mist out of TWDT.

      Henry (82), Kado, Lupin, Murder, and beam spidered.

      For Mist, draft (23-7) terred ahead of Mikkiz and Flew, while Turban tried to win the game in javelin.

      Glyde, Jones, Legacy, and Tripin spidered.

      HOT: Mythril/Rodney
      HOT: Henry Saari (82-31)



      Haze vs. Lag & Luck
      15-12

      Haze made a very nice comeback in this exciting match between two of the biggest TWDT-B contenders.

      SpookedOne (36-1) terred well ahead of Hulk and Willby, who played with vim and vigor.

      Ra (127) led his team, ahead of RUCCI (107), Poni, Lockdown, and Rough.

      Lag & Luck choked late, despite Cripple (146) putting up a monster statline, ahead of Mean Gene (102), Afghan, Ardour, and blt_12.

      Trasher (51-5) was aggressive and solid in terrier, with JAMAL and Mr. Homo in shark.

      HOT: Ra (127-69). Giggity.
      HOT: Cripple (146-52)
      HOT: SpookedOne (36-1)
      HOT: Trasher (51-5)



      Pirates vs. Paddington
      15-6

      Murder (26-3) terred ahead of Mythril and Rodney, as Pirates helped push Paddington off a cliff, as the bears complete the doughnut in TWDT-B, going an impressive 0-14 in base for the season.

      Henry (112), Kado, Lupin, Mosi, and Major spidered.

      Paddington featured Heaven (33-8) in terr, with Zidane and Oder in ship 8, with Exalt, Midoent, Spectacular, TJ Hazuki and Terminator 17.5 in spid.

      HOT: Henry Saari (112-29)
      HOT: Magnum Size (82-48)



      Gryffindor vs. Haze
      15-13

      The #1 and #2 seeds in TWDT-B faced off in the final week of the regular season, trading blows once again in a very close match after Haze took down Gryffindor 15:00-14:52 a month ago.

      Ogron (46-7) terred ahead of Commodo (3.0 RPD) and Rab, as Gryffindor took the W by two minutes.

      Davy (128) and Spezza (111) led all spiders, dominating ahead of Rasaq, Banks, and Kira_Yamato~.

      Haze had their mainstay SpookedOne (27-7) in terrier, with Hulk (2.9 RPD) and Willby in shark.

      RUCCI (104) spidered ahead of Lockdown, Rough, Poni, and Ra (90).

      HOT: Davy (128-56)
      HOT: Spezza (111-51)
      HOT: RUCCI (104-69)

      NOT: SpookedOne (27-7). Spooked was an absolute disaster in this game after arguably MVP'ing the previous big match versus L&L, showing his complete lack of consistency as he learns the ship.


      Lag & Luck vs. Win or Die
      15-13

      The heavyweights continued to slug it out in WEEK 7, with another 15-13 match between the other two contenders, as the #3 and #4 seeds traded blows.

      Trasher (51-8) terred ahead of JAMAL and Mr. Homo in shark, as Lag & Luck narrowly edged out the competition, redeeming their earlier chokejob.

      Crippled (129) led all spiders (as is tradition), with Afgthan, Ardour, Burnt, and Spacedust in tow.

      WoD had bitsaver (46-9) struggling with too many deaths despite his team outkilling the opposition by 50, with Joeses and Nipple in shark.

      Rozay (104), Jurassic (101), Dreamwin (99), Poseidon, and Skatarius spidered in the loss.

      HOT: Trasher (51-8)
      HOT: JAMAL & Mr. Homo
      HOT: Cripple (129)
      HOT: Rozay (104)



      Fish vs. Mist
      15-0

      Fish ran over Mist. There were no survivors.

      Last edited by ogron; 08-29-2019, 08:45 PM.
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      • #4
        Final Standings


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        • #5
          Players of the Week


          WB of the Week: Iron Survivor (15-6, 15-4) & Vys (15-7, 16-10)
          Honorable Mention: Dak (18-9), Ogron (18-9), Racka (17-10), Burnt (15-7), JAMAL (14-7, 13-10)

          Jav of the Week: Kado (14-8, 10-9) & Okyo (11-4, 11-9)
          Honorable Mention: Spezza (15-7), Turban (11-3), Morph (14-8), Rough (15-10), Cripple (13-7)

          Terrier of the Week: Trasher (51-5, 51-8)
          Honorable Mention: bitsaver (46-4), SpookedOne (36-1), Ogron (46-7), Major Crisis (34-5)

          Shark of the Week: Commodo/Rab
          Honorable Mention: Mythril/Rodney, Hulk/Willby, JAMAL/Mr. Homo

          Spider of the Week: Davy (128-56, 64-18)
          Honorable Mention: Spezza (111-58, 58-27), JURASSIC (101-72, 99-55), Henry Saari (112-29), Cripple (146-52), Dreamwin (100-42)

          Player of the Week: Mythril

          The #1 overall pick of TWDT 2019 Summer showed exactly why he went first off the board, willing Pirates to a massive 5-1 performance to clinch the final playoff spot and enter the Quarter-Finals with momentum and driving fear into the hearts of their enemies.

          It was a masterful performance across all three leagues, going 17-8 and 14-10 in TWDT-D, 20-5 and 12-8 in TWDT-J, and 2.9 RPD, 2.9 RPD with a pair of teks in shark in TWDT-B.

          Epic!




          Previous Winners:

          WB: Casket, Ardour, Burnt, Beam, Singer, Vys/Ra, Iron Survivor/Vys
          Jav: Zidane, Commodo, Rough, Zidane/Racka, Uprise, Turban/Paradise, Kado/Okyo
          Terrier: SpookedOne, Zizzo/Bitsaver, Bitsaver, Zizzo, Zizzo, Ogron, Trasher
          Shark: Hulk/Willby, Morph, JAMAL/Mr. Homo, Joeses/Nipple, Commodo/Markmrw, Hulk, Commodo/Rab
          Spider: Cripple, Skatarius, WBM, Spezza/Jurassic, Cripple/Ra, Cripple, Davy
          POTY: Commodo, Trasher, Vys, Mythril, Ogron, Rough, Mythril
          Last edited by ogron; 08-29-2019, 09:31 PM.
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          • #6
            Last edited by ogron; 08-29-2019, 08:58 PM.
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            • #7
              Originally posted by Claushouse View Post


              This is precisely as I imagined Lasenza to look.
              You come at the King, you best not miss.

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              • #8
                Good job as always. Sweet retirement home got me lol
                Best warbird to ever enter trenchwars

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                • #9
                  thanks!

                  wb/jav done, base/poty tomorrow.

                  wish i hadn't committed to HoN, burnt out doing it... too much work.
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                  • #10
                    Remember when lasenza pretended to be a girl until Moth found his facebook? The good old days.

                    Great write-ups Claus. I haven't played in years, but I always like reading these write-ups and seeing how many names I recognize. I appreciate the effort you put in
                    JAMAL> didn't think there was a worse shark than midoent but the_paul takes it



                    turban> claus is the type of person that would eat shit just so you would have to smell his breath

                    Originally posted by Ilya;n1135707
                    the_paul: the worst guy, needs to go back to school, bad at his job, guido

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                    • #11
                      Originally posted by Claushouse View Post
                      thanks!

                      wb/jav done, base/poty tomorrow.

                      wish i hadn't committed to HoN, burnt out doing it... too much work.
                      ?

                      Stop

                      You love writing about gryffindor crushing everyone....
                      1:waven> u challenge
                      1:waven> if i challenge it looks too scary

                      Originally posted by MHz
                      Hope you contract ebola from your, no doubt cheap, Easter Egg, you fucking shit-jav, pug-faced cunt.

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                      • #12
                        Originally posted by Claushouse View Post
                        thanks!

                        wb/jav done, base/poty tomorrow.

                        wish i hadn't committed to HoN, burnt out doing it... too much work.
                        That is inevitable when you put so much into each HoN. As much as some of us don't see eye to eye often we can still recognize the hard work you put in. I personally respect how much of yourself you give to provide us with entertainment. HoN's have always been one of my favorite things about leagues, yours have always been the best.

                        p.s.
                        GODDAMN MYTHRIL OUT HERE FLEXIN HARD
                        Big Chill

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                        • #13
                          Thanks Rodney, appreciated.

                          HOT OR NOT is now COMPLETE!!!
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                          • #14
                            Good job writing these and thanks

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                            • #15
                              Thanks to Ogron for the awesome Hot Or Nots every week! The effort is noticed and appreciated by everyone. It really helps build excitement & interest and you've done a really great job with the writeups throughout the whole season. It takes a lot of thought to write the summaries and tie in jokes and graphics. Very nice work!
                              Best> Para is the only guy i know who can put a quarter up his nostrils lol

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