HOT or NOT -- WEEK 3

[RoDNeY]

Ya, that is my preference, but sometimes no veteran does (overtly) poorly, and since all the games are at the same time I miss 75% of the games and have to rely on the boxscore. If the person's name or score lends itself to a joke, I'll usually include it. My hope is the reader understands this is for entertainment and that so-and-so isn't actually the worst player ever or the loss might not even be their fault (it's a team game, after all) -- but people enjoy the Hot or Not's to be overtly mean and acerbic.

Most of the newbies who've pm'd me thus far seem to take it in good stride, so hopefully no one is quitting over these write-ups. I'll try to make a bit more of an effort to exclude them and target veterans : )

I enjoyed the minesweeper reference bahaha
Although i actually didnt drop any fr losing mines just random tks, i still enjoyed the writeup and clever analogy, we were on defense practically the whole game and couldnt really gain enough momentum to get on the offense :/

[ogron]

While I understand the appeal of accentuating the "nots" in the HoN write ups, I think it makes more sense to pick on more veteran players for not playing up to par as compared to random 5* newbies who have never played competitively before getting their first taste of action and doing what everybody already knows they are going to do. Lets say that guy bopshoe or whatever the fuck his name was who went like -70 in spid reads these threads and notices himself getting singled out after just 1 competitive game ever, whats to say we dont accelerate that player uninstalling the game or just not coming back? Just my opinion. Pick on wark all day for his -50's in spider (dude pushes hard) but leave the newbies alone unless they do good.

Ya, that is my preference, but sometimes no veteran does (overtly) poorly, and since all the games are at the same time I miss 75% of the games and have to rely on the boxscore. If the person's name or score lends itself to a joke, I'll usually include it. My hope is the reader understands this is for entertainment and that so-and-so isn't actually the worst player ever or the loss might not even be their fault (it's a team game, after all) -- but people enjoy the Hot or Not's to be overtly mean and acerbic.

Most of the newbies who've pm'd me thus far seem to take it in good stride, so hopefully no one is quitting over these write-ups. I'll try to make a bit more of an effort to exclude them and target veterans : )

[LF]

Just caught up on the first 3 weeks of this. Apparently my team of no shows and retirees are actually showing...and tied for 2nd place? Too lazy to comment on a bunch of different threads and can't be assed to log into the game so a few things I've noticed....

lol @ zidane appealing the DT-B game. Turban's lag is only a problem when its not benefiting him directly and he'd be the first to defend turb if this was twl and they were on the same squad again. Its no secret that turban is good but its also no secret that he is picked top 5 every year BECAUSE of his lag. Hypocrits.

While I understand the appeal of accentuating the "nots" in the HoN write ups, I think it makes more sense to pick on more veteran players for not playing up to par as compared to random 5* newbies who have never played competitively before getting their first taste of action and doing what everybody already knows they are going to do. Lets say that guy bopshoe or whatever the fuck his name was who went like -70 in spid reads these threads and notices himself getting singled out after just 1 competitive game ever, whats to say we dont accelerate that player uninstalling the game or just not coming back? Just my opinion. Pick on wark all day for his -50's in spider (dude pushes hard) but leave the newbies alone unless they do good.

I had other thoughts but I forgot them already. Go team TJ and Go Team Make!

[Pressure]

just checking to see if my new sig works

seen better threads btw lol D:

edit: yep! works haha

[Jerome Scuggs]

yo rofl how did i miss j-b-inc vs drinking bird

lmfao

[RoDNeY]

LOL YESSSS

[Jerome Scuggs]

yo seriously every year in twlj, twdt-j, whatever, there comes a point where cap is like JEROME WE NEED A FIFTH, i try to talk my way out of it, i go 0-10 and everyone makes their jokes, it's so awful noone javs me for a year, then next season comes around, i find myself on a league or draft squad, suddenly it's time for an LJ and we're down one, and then it's JEROME WE NEED A FIFTH, and im like dude im terrible, and then cap is like NONSENSE... YOU PLAYED IN TWLJ LAST YEAR, DIDNT YOU?

and the cycle continues, my annual javelin league 0-10 shitshow, year after year

but anyways you could have made alot more fun at my expense so thanks for taking it easy on me, been riding the bench all season and my twdt debut is a disaster. then again i'm pretty much having to host any game i play so that's my excuse, i was distracted. gg

[ogron]

Standings

[ogron]

HOT OF THE WEEK


WB of the Week: Lasenza (19-8), with a godly 1v4 performance to steal away a near-certain victory from TJ Hazuki! Honorable Mentions: Geio (18-8) and Weak (18-9)
Jav of the Week: aprix (18-10), had a monster game in a tough loss to ill, almost carrying his team to victory.
Baser of the Week: ph (3.0 RPD, 45 kills, 2 Teks), putting on the offensive sharking game of the season, and decimating enemy players while keeping a perfect RPD. Wowza!


Player of the Week: JAMAL
JAMAL led Thunder to this week's only perfect 3-0, dropping a 12-8 in TWDT-D, 9-4 in TWDT-J, and 121-56 with 2 teks in TWDT-B, dominating all three leagues with aplomb. Kudos!

Honorable Mention: Shadowmere (13-8, 12-5, 49-10 and 4 Teks), who was Robin to JAMAL's Blackman, helping Thunder cruise to 3-0 as well.

[ogron]

TWDT-B



Blooms vs. Silence
15:00-4:01

Blooms moved to 3-0 in TWDT-B on Sunday, trouncing Commodo's Silence, as maketso (21-0) notched a comfortable ace to go alongside 3 Teks, ahead of a2m (2.9 RPD) and menelvagor (2.4 RPD, 2 Teks). Mean Gene (93-30), M_M God (88-26), bellflowers (88-19), Reckful (79-34), and frightful (44-35) took on spidering duties.

Turban lagged out on go.

For the Silencers, Lasenza (29-7) terred ahead of Commodo (2.9 RPD) and mcvicar (2.9 RPD), with Oder, Boblemoche, J-B-Inc, raizin, and Ruhe In Frieden spidering.

HOT: Mean Gene (93-30)
HOT: maketso (21-0, 3 Teks)
NOT: Ruhe In Frieden (29-72). I honest to god thought he was a shark looking at his K until I noticed there was no RPD next to his name. Maybe you should switch over to shark, and just triple rep on attach, then at least you'll be on the same skill level as Ephemeral.




Patouf vs. ill
15:00-8:42

Both basing stackers (Stayon & maketso) improved to 3-0 this week, as Patouf took down a surprisingly resilient ill, which lost by 6 minutes, as Tiny (19-5) still managed to die 5x behind a stacked line in a 23 minute game where his team outkilled the enemy by 100, with porkjet (2.8 RPD, 2 Teks) and olde (3.0 RPD) sharking for him.

In spider, the Tabarcats were led by Stayon (110-47), who led the sortie alongside Sprained (98-38), Bueno (86-30), Trasher (75-51), and Banks (63-36).

For the Weezers, Mikkiz (28-11) quarterbacked ahead of Producer and Rodney, with TJ Hazuki (89-67) leading cyrus (72-48), Clark Kentaro (67-52), Tripin, Jatt, and Stung.

HOT: porkjet, with 2.8 RPD and 2 teks
HOT: Stayon, 110-47.
NOT: rodney, with 4 TKs and only 7 kills. I didn't see this game, but I'm going to assume you laid down some terrible, FR-losing mines based on watching you shark last 5 years. Spidering for you is like playing minesweeper onKobayashi Maru No-Win Scenario difficulty:






Thunder vs. WIN OR DIE
15:00-12:54

This was the most entertaining TWDT-B match of the week, as Thunder narrowly edged out WIN OR DIE by 2 minutes. TABARNAK!!! (2.9 RPD) and beam (2.8 RPD) continued to impress in shark, ably guarding Shadowmere (49-10, 4 Teks) in terr as Ease (82-59) is starting to put all his high-star eggs in the spider basket, and getting wins even with Shadows steep 10 deaths. Alongside El Capitain, JAMAL (121-56), Undercut (103-56), bumpa (85-38), and Lena (79-45) joined him in ship 3.

On the losing side, WIN OR DIE got a very solid performance out of Cintra (46-7, 2 Teks), with DOWNFALL (3.0 RPD, 2 Teks) and Markmrw 2.9 RPD) in shark, with JammyJames (97-55), skatarius (79-62), RageRitual (76-72), Racka (67-65), and TheWadoRooster (71-58) in spider.

HOT: JAMAL, with a monstrous 121-56 and 2 Teks.

Thunder wins this game!
MVP: JAMAL!
Racka> basing is easily the biggest fucking joke league in this game, why does it even exist.




Power vs. Meteorite
15:00-9:43

Power improved to 2-1 this season in base, as Ogron (41-5) terred ahead of zidane (3.0 RPD) and ph (45 kills, 2 teks, 3.0 RPD), with Henry Saari leading all spiders with a massive 103-30 and 2 teks, ahead of Lee (83-42), Rough (81-43), Rab (67-40, 2 Teks), and pod (58-45).

Meteorite proved a tough opponent, with euforia (34-8) in ship 5, being watched over by Turtle Power (2.8 RPD) and Geio (2.8 RPD) in shark, and their offense supplied by last weeks BASER OF THE WEEK Cripple (92-54, 3 Teks), who put in another strong effort, and Megalo (64-45), aprix (63-56), madmaxx53 (47-83), and jerome.

HOT: ph and Zidane, with matching 3.0 RPDs, and a combined 66 kills and 2 teks, outkilling every spid on the enemy team except Crip
HOT: Henry Saari (103-30)
NOT: madmaxx53 (47-83). You're like what would happen to Mad Max if the movies were even remotely realistic.

[ogron]

TWDT-J




Blooms vs. Silence
50-27

The Bloomers put forth a balanced, team effort in silencing Commodo's squadron, as a2m (12-6), turban (12-6), Mean Gene (11-5), Morg (9-6), and maketso (4-4) all chipped in.

For the Silencers, put away that Walther PPK, because this was anything but a quiet affair as a2m and co. firebombed the crap out of them, winning by a whopping 23. Gurliver (10-10) was the lone bright spot, as Commodo (7-10) and Lasenza (3-4) failed to reach parity, whilst J-B-Inc (3-10) and Boblemoche (3-10) failed to reach scores indicative of not being in a fucking coma.

HOT: All of Blooms, with a wonderful, concerted effort and only 1 (!!) Tek (by Commodo, and prob just to keep them in line)
NOT: J-B-Inc (3-10)


And now, it's time to play America's favorite game! J-B-Inc: Human or Drinking Bird?



We may never know the truth...



Thunder vs. WIN OR DIE
50-27

Ease (13-6) finally recuperated from the colonoscopy Power performed on him in Week 2, as the winner of of the last 3 TWLJs and 2 TWDT-Js steadied the ship thanks to the return of their savior, Shadow-NO-MERE-MORTAL (12-5). Recent addition Steadman replacement Rendered (11-8) turned in a fine performance, in front of JAMAL (9-4) and Lena (5-4) as the Thundarians cruised to victory.

The Winordites all negged, as torcher, vys, Weak, Kira, Markmrw, and Darkgriz all put in terrible scores.

HOT: Shadowmere Returns (12-5)
NOT: All of WIN OR DIE -- You're so fucking useless even the Borg wouldn't add you to their collective.


idkidc1233> reckful went 0-6 in twdtj?
Ogron> he said he was added w/o his consent
Ogron> and refused to play
Missa> solid team member
idkidc1233> more like rektful
Ogron> LOL




Power vs. Patouf
50-46

Power continued its dominance over javelin, remaining undefeated on the season and having already vanquished its two toughest opponents in Thunder and Patouf, and seem destined for greatness. Not only are they incredibly talented, but humble.

Rough (15-9) led Fram (10-10) and Children (9-9) in this hard-fought battle over the Tabarcats, with Zidane (8-10) dying out early and Lee (5-8) doing a good job of staying alive and providing support.

On the not-winning side, Zazerick (14-10), Stayon (11-10), and Trasher (10-10) put in strong efforts, narrowly falling by 4 kills, but sadly were let down by Tiny (7-10) and Banks (2-10), although many would say that folk hero, fan favorite, and all-around great guy 6-Star javelin Ogron being benched for this game was the real tragedy -- especially after crushing Ease last week.

HOT: Rough, with a rambunctious 15-9
NOT: Banks (2-10). Take your money out of this bank and stick it in Heaven's mattress -- you won't make any interest, but at least you know there's zero chance of it getting fucked.




ill vs. Meteorite
50-45

TJ Hazuki's team won its first game of the season, as wbm (12-8) led Mikkiz (11-9), Rodney (10-8), ROWS (8-10), and a lackluster Lorko (5-10) to the promised land.

aprix (18-10) put in an astonishing outing, but besides euforia (12-10), the Meteorites let him down as Wax (8-9), Kthx (4-10), and Jerome (1-8) played poorly.

HOT: aprix (18-10), sizzling his opponents with vehement aggression.
HOT: wbm (12-8), leading ill to its first official (and second unofficial) victory!
NOT: Jerome (1-8).


jerome <ZH>> claus, got any javelin tips?
Ogron> ya
Ogron> next time, go 0-8 so people think you were afk
Ogron> because you sure as shit ain't getting better
sooyoung <ZH>> LOL

[ogron]

Hot or Not Archive:
WEEK 1
WEEK 2
WEEK 3

TWDT-D


Thunder vs. Blooms
50-38

The unlikely duo of Shadowmere (13-8) and JAMAL (12-8), a jav and a baser, led Thunder in warbird, and like a mismatched buddy cop movie, they succeeded in the end.



Behind them were Ricko (10-8), Casket (9-7), and Lena (5-7), as Ease watched from the director's chair in spec. What Lena had to do to get cast in this lineup... you don't even want to know. It makes what Twilight Wolf had to do to get on Fierce look like a Mickey Mouse cartoon.

On the losing side, a2m (11-10) and Turban (10-10) played well, but couldn't hoist the dead weight that was Morg (8-10), Gurliver (6-10), and M_M God (3-10).

HOT: Shadowmere (13-8) and JAMAL (12-8)
NOT: M_M God (3-10). Someone named "gurliver" doubled your kills. The only cockpit you should be in is San Francisco.




WIN OR DIE vs. Power
50-40

Weak (18-9) dropped the proverbial hammer on Power, as Kira (13-9) played Sif to his Odin, ahead of Midgard mortals torcher (6-7), vys (5-5), and devilish (8-10) to clinch the victory.

For Power, Rab (11-10) couldn't rally rabble-rousers Rough (8-10), 2pacz (9-10), curse (8-10), or dour (4-10) as the Zidanites squandered an early lead.

HOT: Weak, with a blistering 18-9!
NOT: dour, with a dismal 4-10. I recommend this wine I found the other day, so you can enjoy the taste of that 4-10 and Weak swirling his dick in your mouth all over again.






Meteorite vs. Patouf
50-42

Geio (18-8) once again scorched the earth with his presence in wb, annihilating the Tabarcats and proving his PLAYER OF THE WEEK award last week was no fluke, leading Dear Leader Mythril (12-8), King Solemn-on (9-7), The Emperor's New Cloth (6-10), and an unusually inept aprix (3-8) to the W.

Rasaq (16-10) finally returned to form, albeit too little to late, as Patouf fell thanks to Tarnish (1-6) and Oops (4-10)'s atrocious outings alongside Siaxis (8-10), Tiny (7-10), and Collossus (5-4).

HOT: Geio, putting into motion the gears of war for Zizzo and Co. with a grizzly 18-8.
HOT: Rasaq (16-10).
NOT: Tarnish, with an ignominious 1-6.




Silence vs. ill
50-48

This was easily the match of the week in TWDT-D, as Lasenza, alone, 1v4, down 42-48, seemed inevitably headed towards defeat.

2:Ease> lasenza losing to team tj
2:Ease> ahahaha
2:siaxis> LOL this is over

Then, drawing on his triple crown warbird pedigree, Lasenza put on one of the most epic performances of the year (albeit with some unlucky lagouts on the losing side) as he poached the Weezers' wbs one-by-one as they chased him, notching an incredible 19-8 and stealing the victory, as Commodo (7-10), J-B-Inc (8-10), Lee (9-10), and Ruhe In Frieden (4-10) watched on in disbelief as a team that showed 3 players and borrowed a pair of 5-Stars managed to snatch the W out of TJ Hazuki's butterfinger hands.

Silence wins this game!
MVP: LaSenza!
2:Ogron> ease u ok?
2: Ease> tj cursed

Stung (15-10) was hot for ill early, but choked at 14-6 to finish 1-4, whilst jebass (8-8) lagged out and helped Lasenza clutch, with a good performance from Clark Kentaro (13-10) before getting clipped by the legend, and Tripin (6-9) and Lights (0-4) being sub-par.

HOT: Lasenza (19-8), with a showing for the ages.
NOT: Tripin and Lights, who combined for a 6-14 vs. two 5-Star borrowed players. I haven't seen two people combine for such a poor result since Steadman's parents decided to conceive.