For those that knew Stultus

[Barton]

Rip

[hak]

I too remember Stultus well. Very sorry to hear this has happened.

RIP Evelyn

[gdugwyler]

Thanks for the words, guys -- she would've appreciated it. She was a very unique, intelligent (I'd almost venture to say brilliant) and, of course, very troubled person. She'd always been isolated by her perspective on the world ... but after making the transition to recognizing herself as a girl, it became pretty unbearable for her to leave her apartment. She'd stay in for weeks at a time, her mom working as a nurse in Boston and basically just paying her way (which required pretty much nothing, as Ev never ate much or spent any money).

Strange enough as it is to say about a person you met off of SS, in my life she was honestly one of the most influential people. She was relentless in her dedication to truth and reason. She was depressed, sure -- but it was, in a way, a kind of madness inspired by the fact that she couldn't find a way to reduce the world down to something of pure logic. The more she attempted to make sense of it, the more she just withdrew.

So that's why she did it, in my opinion, from the few long conversations I had with her in the weeks before she did it: to escape the fact that the only problem that mattered to her she could not solve. She existed too honestly, almost. You have to forget, you have to lie to yourself from time to time, or else you can be led to doubt that how you feel and what you feel is meaningful in and of itself...

As to how she died? She was found on Easter Sunday on the roof of the apartment building in which she'd been living. But she went missing 9 days before that. The detective said, when he first saw her, that it didn't look like she'd died 9 days ago ... and a few days later, the autopsy revealed that she'd likely died just 3 or 4 days before Easter, not 9. Maybe she didn't take the antidepressant until then? I hope to fucking god she wasn't suffering for that long. But the drug apparently works within just a few hours. I'm guessing she may have just taken some time to deliberate.

Why did it take 9 days? The apartment security staff said they had checked the roof thoroughly. They also ran through the footage of all available exits from the building, and she wasn't seen on any of them. (Why it took them so long to do that, I don't know.) A few days later, the security staff admitted that they knew nobody could get up on the roof because all the exits were locked tight, so they'd never actually checked the fucking roof. They said they also had camera footage of the only entrance to the roof and she wasn't on that, either. Strange.

Evelyn's friend in Boston called and said he suddenly remembered a method for getting up on the roof that they'd checked out ... a little pulldown hatch that wasn't too well-known. The detectives went up, and found her. Stellar police work on this one. Made a travesty of it. Who's to say -- if they'd actually checked the roof, and Evelyn only got the nerve to take the pills several days later, maybe they would've found her? Maybe she was hoping to be found before she did it, but then eventually realizing nobody was coming, went ahead?

I don't know if anything could've been done for her if she were found in time, though. She'd been on about every medication possible, and nothing really helped, or just made things worse, or "different" but still emotionally dead. Yeah, she could have been institutionalized, I guess. That would be great for her. God damnit. There's just no good answer to it. You hear this cliche line every time this happens, but something in me just never believed she'd actually go through with it. I still don't feel like she's gone, really -- it just doesn't make sense. She was only 20.

So when she IM'd her Boston friend the night she ran off and said she was going to do it, but that she was leaving the house so he couldn't do anything about it, yeah, I could sort of understand why he didn't do anything. Except send me 2 text messages, both of which I didn't get until the following day, having been texted all day and thinking it was someone I didn't want to hear from. (That's a real bitch to think about. I generally just don't.) I don't know. What do you do if someone IM's you saying they're really going to get heroic this time?

Anyway, just thought you guys might want to hear more about what happened. I won't really be checking this -- about to head off west for 3 months -- but if you take the g off my username and add gmail to it you have my email, if you want to get in touch.

Yeah, guess that's it.

[Dwopple]

never squad'ed with stultus but knew of her very well.


RIP, from a fellow vet SS player.

[Soilderz]

Aww Stult.. atleast ur in a better place now
rip

[gran guerrero]

i said gesegs in ?go hockey a while ago

it nearly made me cry

[Zazu]

Wow.. I remember Stultus really well..
Rest in peace!

[D1st0rt]

stult

[Salubrious]

is it a coincidence that trashed's name is evelyn?

[Jeenyuss]

rest in peace stult

[Crescent Seal]

no clue who that was

rip

[gran guerrero]

this is crushing, i knew stultus pretty well

roofing and shark tking will never be the same

rip

oh man this is indeed quite a blow to us

I will miss you sluttus

[PH]

this is crushing, i knew stultus pretty well

roofing and shark tking will never be the same

rip

[jngy slate]

[Jedi DC]

godspeed!