HOT or NOT -- WEEK 2

[ogron]

TWDT-D


Thunder vs. Silence
50-38

NEWS HEADLINE: Tryhard Thunder Thumps Tranny (read that in 1930's News of the World voice.) Upon entering the arena and seeing Ease at 17-9, I was wondering why he was trying so hard, before seeing that tranny Lasenza (10-10) was on the other side. That said, it wasn't really a fair contest, as the GOAT led beam (13-8), SNSD Sooyoung (10-9), JAMAL (6-5), and Lena (4-7) to a comfortable victory.

On the losing side, Triple Crown WB holder Lasenza couldn't carry the likes of Best (7-10), Kim (7-10), or J-B-Inc (2-8), despite a strong effort from Bad Game (11-10), who had a good game.

HOT: Ease, with a curb stomping 17-9.
NOT: J-B-Inc, who should change his name to 2-8-Inc, because there's always a 2-8 Incoming when he's in.




ill vs. Blooms
50-36

Free agency acquisition Skepsis (17-10) made an immediate impact, crushing the hapless Bloomers alongside Havok (13-7), wiibimbo (11-6), Jebass, Lights, and wicket666 (0-5).

Blooms got a good performance out of Reckful (11-10), and little else, as a2m (7-10), Morg (7-10), maketso (7-10) and Paky Dude (4-10) were all sub-par.

HOT: Skepsis, with a sizzling 17-10
NOT: Paky Dude, with a fizzling 4-10

Wait... what's this?



Maketso ran through the box scores 2 days later and discovered wicket666 was a 7*, not a 6, with his huge game impact of 0-5 on a 14-point margin win, and gets the win! Blooms won not one, but two appeals this week, with muppet Heaven siding with Maketso both times.




Power vs. Patouf
50-47

Powerpuff Girls somehow stole a win in TWDT-D despite still having 0 players over 7-Stars in wb, as Rough (14-9) led late-game hero dour (10-9), 2pacZ (10-10), curse (8-9) and Children (6-10) to the unlikely W.

A line of actual warbirds suffered the ignominy of defeat at the hands of a trio of javelins, as only Tarnish was able to exonerate himself with a 13-10, whilst siaxis (9-10), Tiny (9-10), Zeebu (3-7), Rasaq (5-6) and Bueno (2-4) all negged.

HOT: Rough (14-9)
NOT: Zeebu (3-7)




WIN OR DIE vs. Meteorite
50-49

This was an epic match, and definitely the TWDT-D Game of the Week, featuring an epic showdown between Winordite vys and Meteorites' Geio, as this clash of the titans was decided by a single kill.

In the end, only vys was standing, putting up a Herculean 22-9 and leading Weak (12-10), Racka (13-10), and two of the worst performances I've ever seen in Flew (2-10) and Darkgriz (1-9) -- holy shit you two are bad.

Geio put up a valiant effort with a monstrous 18-10, but his entire team, although competent, was below parity, as Jessup (9-10), Mythril (9-10), aprix (7-10), and Turtle Power (6-10) proved too heavy to carry.

HOT: vys, with an otherwordly 22-9
HOT: Geio, with a godzilla-like 18-10
NOT: Flew, with a 2-10 on the losing team. The only thing you should be flying, is out of a catapault. As your team ejects you from their midst -- you're terrible.

[ogron]

TWDT-J



Silence vs. ill
50-28



No, that's not Alderaan, it's everyone who was drafted to TJ Hazuki's team after drafting nothing but single leaguers, getting trade raped, and giving away their only win because he can't count to 12, all while starting the season 0-6.

The Weezers continued their dominance over last place, as their Stormtrooper-like aim saw them lose by a ridiculous 22 kills in this game, with Havok (8-10), Lorko (4-10), wicket666 (2-10), and wiibimbo (2-10) all combining for the same amount of kills as Commodo (16-7) on the other team.

The Silencers went to work early, dominating the game as their captain led Best (15-6), Lasenza (14-4), Singer (4-3), and Boblemoche (1-8) to victory.

HOT: Commodo, 16-7.
NOT: Lorko, 4-10. Although to be fair, he did get as many kills as both wiibimbo and wicket666 combined. wiibimbo and wicket follow Moore's Law, in that someone doubles their kills every week.




Patouf vs. WIN OR DIE
50-34

WIN OR DIE suffered their first defeat of the season, falling to a superb outing from Tiny (17-7), who led Stayon (14-9) and fellow Tabercats Trasher (7-7), Bueno (6-6), and Banks (4-5).

For the Winordites, only exploid (10-10) achieved parity, while Kira parroted J-B-Inc in wb and went 2-8, alongside negative Nancies vys, Pjotter, and Darkgriz.

HOT: Tiny (17-7), who came up big.
NOT: Kira_Yamato~ (2-8), who's poor play is going to hurt his RottenYamatoes rating.






Blooms vs. Meteorite
50-37

Turban (12-8) was forced to spec due to lag, but not before he did enough damage to carry Spawnisen (10-7), maketso (9-7), Morg (8-9), and a2m (6-5) to victory.

Despite a line full of strong javs, Meteorite couldn't penetrate the Finnish lagshields as Amnesti (10-10), aprix (9-10), Wax (6-10), and euforia (5-8) were no match for the power of being European.

HOT: Turban's lag
NOT: Turban's lag
BONUS: Spectators got the additional game of playing Where's Waldo, trying to find Turban as he magically warped all over the place.




Power vs. Thunder
50-32

What was supposed to be the match of the week turned into a complete blowout, as current TWDT-J titleholders Power continued their domination over the league, as fearless javelin Children (14-5) led Zidane (13-5), Rough (9-8), Ogron (8-7), and 2pacZ (5-7) to a demoralizing victory over hapless has-been Ease (8-10), who was helpless against the might of Ogron and co. His patented 360 move was nowhere to be seen, and he was found later wandering disheveled in a park, mumbling "no shadowmere, where's shadowmere, shadowmere, woulda won with shadowmere, shadowmere, needed shadowmere, no shadowmere..." It's always tough to see their minds go.

The entirety of Thunder negged, as JAMAL (8-10), SNSD Sooyoung (2-10), Tiduz (5-10), and Undercut (5-10) couldn't find their rhythm. TWLJ and TWDT-J Champions Zidane and Ogron continue their undefeated streak in javelin dating back to January 2014. What a talented duo!

HOT: Children, with a massive 14-5.
NOT: SNSD Sooyoung, with a putrid 2-10. Yikes!

[ogron]

TWDT-B



Thunder vs. ill
15:00-0:23

Thunder beat ill 15 to :23, Michael Jordan's number. You should call MJ's number and ask for advice, because you're fucking terrible at this game.

TABARNAK!!! proved a welcome addition to the Thundarians, teaming up with beam for 2.9 and 3.0 RPDs respectively, ahead of bumpa, Ease, JAMAL, Lena, solidify, and Thundercunt.

On the losing side, TJ Hazuki "led" the likes of jammu, Jatt, Magica, Producer, Rodney, Skepsis, and wicket666, in the way a lemming leads the rest of his pack off a cliff.

HOT: beam and TABARNAK!!!, as the wombo combo managed 3.0 RPD, 4 Teks, and 26 kills in only 15 minutes -- Yowza!
NOT: Jammu and Producer, with 2.3 RPDs. You know reps are free, right?


And now, this:







Patouf vs. WIN OR DIE
15:00-4:02

The Tabarcats trounced Racka's Winordites, as Heaven (24-1) continued his strong play from the backcourt, now a combined 56-1 in terr this season, ahead of nanto and porkjet in shark, and scintillating spidering from Rasaq, Sprained, Stayon, and Trasher.

On the losing side, Cintra (17-4) terred ably, but futilely, ahead of DOWNFALL and Pjotter in shark, and Haze, JammyJames, Racka, skatarius, vys, and TheWadowRooster in spid.

HOT: Stayon, with a bruising 86-36.
NOT: Pjotter, with an abysmal 2.5 RPD. You should (P)jot down how many times you died without repping three times, and not login to subspace for that many days. See you in 2025.




Blooms vs. Power

Turban teleported through 3 people to get me, then broke cram 1v6 without dying, combining with M_M God for 400ms and 6 of their 8 Teks as they plowed through 900 bullets unabated. I can now see why Finland really held off the Soviet Union during World War 2.







Meteorite vs. Silence
15:00-12:51

This was a tight match, as Zizzo's squad narrowly edged out Commodo's, with godking Cripple (133-54) mowing down the competition ahead of Zizzo, madmaxx53, Megalo, and newly acquired Turtle Power. Mythril and Geio had matching 2.9 RPDs in shark, ahead of Wax (28-9) in terr.

For the Silencers, mcvicar (106-61) led the way ahead of Mikes, Lasenza, Dazz, Bacon, and... who the fuck is Outshined? The next person I catch using a different name then they registered as, you're getting a 1 week personal suspension.

Oder (47-12) terred, with Commodo and boblemoche in shark.

HOT: Cripple, with a cacophony of bullets, notching a 133-54, which is music to Zizzo's ears
NOT: Outshined, for being an annoying cunt. The only Alias I want to see getting spread out like you did in this match is Jennifer Garner

[ogron]

HOT OF THE WEEK


WB of the Week: vys (22-9), with one of the greatest TWDT-D performances of all time, helping win a 50-49 classic!
Jav of the Week: Tiny (17-7), with a gorgeous score and monster outing in a solid jav matchup!
Baser of the Week: Cripple (133-54), with easily the biggest showing in spider this season, MVPing a tough 15-12 game!


Player of the Week: Geio
Notched a stupendous 18-10 to almost clutch victory in a mesmerizing 50-49 loss in TWDT-D, then managed to put that defeat aside and shark alongside Mythril to win a difficult 15-12 basing match in shark with a beautiful 2.9 RPD and 2 Teks. Kudos!

[ogron]

[Efhat]

Claus. You are truly amazing and thank you for all the time and effort you put into this every single week. This zone needs more people like you, I can honestly say this zone would be boring as fuck without you. People in this zone should appreciate every single thing you do for this zone. Keep it up man. Seriously proud of you. I wish more people stepped up the way you have. - crip

[Dour]

Wonderful write up man worth reading everything on my graveyard job

[Zeebu]

server lag caused me to +1 twice. it was not a fun time.

[2pac]

server lag caused me to +1 twice. it was not a fun time.

everyone was duh

[RoDNeY]

you werent there to see the match but vys deserves more credit even though hes already getting a bunch, guy destroyed the enemy while being chased 4v1! giving one of the best matches spectators have watched in a long damn time

otherwise gud writeup
ty for leaving me out the writeups as much as possible as our team lost disastrously at every corner

[PjOtTeR]

Mad props to vys in the twdt-d, that was one of the best performances I've ever witnessed.

Claushouse, may I ask you why you included I think every players javelin scores in your write-up (As I think you did for wb aswell) aside from Win Or Die their javelin game where you conveniently added 3 players on a bunch who went 5-10 3-9 and 9-10 to make it seem like they did an equal abysmal job?

Besides that, good job putting in the effort and I think overall a decent read.

[Rab]

lol @ tj's guide to trading, so true

[Shadowmere]

Pj, most likely an oversight.
I don't know the scores, but were they worth mentioning? He did say 'negative nancies', so I guess not very glorious if exp's 10-10 was the best.

Being the only one writing he most likely wanted to move on with his writeup too.
it's not a full cover on what happened in the end.

[Wax]

Great write up. I'm really enjoying the use of the various images. A+

That stripy Turd-ban got us good.

Shout out to Rodney for losing disastrously.

[Jerome Scuggs]

HOT: Rough (14-9)

found a pic of clausehouse typing this