HOT or NOT -- WEEK 6

[ogron]

Hot or Not Archive:
WEEK 1
WEEK 2
WEEK 3
WEEK 4
WEEK 5
WEEK 6

TWDT-D


Blooms vs. Meteorite
50-20

Blooms defeated a Mythril and Geio-less line that looked like it was randomly sampled from pub, curb stomping cherry2000 (3-7), Cloth (0-3), jerome (3-10), Kthx (3-10), Shock Therapy (8-10), and Zizzo (3-10).

This was a pretty pathetic showing, as it looks like the Meteorites had already resigned themselves to missing the playoffs, with LF (12-1), Burnt (11-4), Morg (9-4), a2m (9-5), and Medal Dodger (8-6) taking full advantage, winning their first real TWDT-D of the season (the other they lost 50-36, but appealed and won.)

HOT: LF (12-1)
NOT: Zizzo (3-10). You're not as bad of a captain as TJ Hazuki, which is a lot like saying Mussolini was not as bad of a fascist dictator as Adolf Hitler. Don't let the door from TWDT hit you on the way out -- unlike enemy ships, you can't miss it -- just go down the hall, it's the third Reich.




Silence vs. Power
50-35

Silence improved to 5-1, showing they are as much of a threat to Ease's Thunder as WIN OR DIE in TWDT-D, taking down a team that's managed a respectable 3 wins this season with aplomb, as Lasenza (13-5) led Best (14-9), Raazi (9-7), bad game (7-5), and AFRI (7-9) to the W.

For Power, Rasaq (12-10) once again had a strong game, but okyo (7-10), The Voodoo Child (8-10), fram (2-5), and a late sub by Ogron (3-5) couldn't stand toe-to-toe with the Silencers big three, despite a resounding win the week prior.

HOT: Lasenza (13-5)
NOT: Rough (3-10). After a 16-8 MVP last week, Rough disappeared faster than LF's browser history after the FBI showed up at his door about lil piggy.




Thunder vs. WIN OR DIE
50-31

JAMAL (13-6) led Ricko (11-4), Shadowmere (11-9), Weaver (8-5), and Lena (6-7) to victory, as Thunder continued its romp through TWDT-D unabated, cruising to a perfect 6-0 record.

The Winordites were sans vys, lacking their usual punch, as turban (10-10) was the only player to achieve parity, as Racka (7-10), Weak (7-10), Avale (7-10) and TheWadoRooster (0-10) fell to the warbirding behemoth.

HOT: JAMAL, with a terrorizing 13-6.
NOT: TheWadoRooster (0-10), with the legendary zero kill performance. To be fair, this would be a perfect score in Bizarro World, where Wado's 0-10 and this:



Turn into this:






Patouf vs. ill
50-47

That ill almost won this game shows how friggin' bad Patouf is at wb, as Tripin (13-10), cyrus (12-10), jebass (11-10), and ROWS (9-10) almost took down the Tabarcats, but Sulla's 1-7 doomed them to zero TWDT-D wins this year. Yikes!

ph (12-9) was the hero of the hour, alongside Trasher (10-8), as they managed to take out Tripin 2v1 in a prolonged battle at the end, ahead of Tiny (12-10), Murder (8-10), and Siaxis (7-10).

HOT: ph, with a sturdy 12-9.
NOT: Sulla, with a sullen 1-7. This sulky sultan of swing-and-miss sunk the ship.

[ogron]

TWDT-J



Patouf vs. ill
50-32

Tiny (15-7) led Patouf alongside Trasher (11-9), waven (10-3), Sprained (7-8) and Siaxis (6-5).

For the Weezers, only Paradise (9-8) was able to achieve Paraty, as Tripin (9-10), rodney (5-10), Lorko (6-10), and cyrus (2-10) all negged.

HOT: Tiny, with a ferocious 15-7!
NOT: cyrus, with a tongue-twisting 2-10. Your score is so bad you could be a ZH.




Power vs Silence
50-42

A tough match, as Children (13-6) and Zidane (12-9) led Powergonians Rough (8-8), fram (7-9), and Wazzaaa.NL (7-9) to a balanced victory over a resilient opponent.

For the Silencers, Roiwerk (12-10) and Lasenza (10-10) were solid, but couldn't carry Best (7-10), Boblemoche (4-10), Commodo (2-5), and Kim (2-5).

HOT: Children (13-6)
NOT: Kim (2-5), with a piss-poor performance. This is how I picture Commodo (2-5) subbing in for you to save the game:






Thunder vs. Blooms
50-38

Thunder handled Blooms jav line with ease -- literally, as Ease (13-8) finally decided to grace TWDT with his presence after sitting out in wb, ahead of Shadowmere (13-9), Ardour (12-9), JAMAL (8-7), and Lena (2-5).

For the late Bloomers, maketso (10-10) and Spawnisen (10-10) couldn't buoy Mean Gene (8-10), a2m (6-10), or Morg (1-10).

HOT: Ease (13-8)
NOT: Morg (1-10). You suck so badly as a pilot, I'm surprised you're not debuting in NBC's mid-season lineup.




WIN OR DIE vs. Meteorite
50-42

Finnish god-king Turban (19-5) single-handedly salvaged this game, absolutely annihilating Meteorites depleted but still somewhat potent jav line, putting Kira_Yamato~ (12-10), vys (10-9), Reaver (8-10), and Markmrw (1-10) on his back.

For the Zizzoans, TWDT standout aprix (14-10) and euforia (10-10) did all they could to notch the W, but were held back by Shock Therapy (8-10), Space Trooper (5-10), Cloth (4-10), and bad captaining.

HOT: Turban, with a Herculean (Turbulean?) 19-5.
NOT: Cloth (4-10). Like a miner's alarm clock, you constantly go off for 4-10.

[ogron]

TWDT-B



Blooms vs. ill
15:00-4:36

ill managed to somehow get four minutes, as Producer (16-9) terred ahead of Kosmonaut (2.7 RPD) and rodney (2.9 RPD).

cyrus (63-45) spidered ahead of Thugs (61-55), Tripin, Paradise, and Jatt.

Blooms saw maketso (27-1, 4 Teks) terr ahead of a2m (2.9 RPD, 3 Teks) and LF (2.9 RPD), with Mango. (93-40), Burnt (64-34), M_M God (64-28), bellflowers (60-34), and Gurliver (49-34) in the green ship.

HOT: Mango (93-40).
HOT: a2m, with a 2.9 RPD and 3 Teks.




Silence vs. Thunder
15:00-8:33

Oder (47-5, 4 Teks) terred ahead of Commodo (3.1 RPD) and mcvicar (3.0 RPD), as the Silencers slammed Thunder by seven, with diakka (93-42), Ayn (93-40), Boblemoche (79-55), Lasenza (76-20), and Mikes (56-38) in spider.

For the Thundarians, I believe Ease terred ahead of beam (2.7 RPD) and the_paul (2.6 RPD), with JAMAL (98-59), Weaver (86-54), Ricko (59-46), Lena (53-55), and Undercut (43-36) in ship 3.

HOT: Oder (47-5, 4 Teks)
HOT: Commodo and mcvicar, with 3.1 and 3.0 RPDs respectively, bullying Thunder.
NOT: I didn't see the game, and the scores are confusing, so it's hard to say. I assume Ease and Undercut split terring duties, so one of them. Ease has delusions of terring, and Silence hopefully put those to rest.

I'm being told by our producers that we have a File Photo of Ease terring:






Patouf vs. Power
15:00-12:56

Sprained (103-64) led all spiders for Patouf, ahead of Stayon (90-58), Bueno (89-43), nanto (82-56), and Siaxis (71-57), with Trasher (48-3, 1 Tek) in terr and ph (37 kills, 2 teks, 3.0 RPD) and porkjet (2.7 RPD) sharked for the Tabarcats in this closely fought match.

The Powergonians were led by Rasaq (101-59), Solace (90-65), Henry Saari (82-47), Wazzaaa.NL (73-59), and Rough (54-41), who subbed in for Children (19-27), with Ogron (34-8, 1 Tek) in terr and hulk (2.9 RPD) and Zidane (2.8 RPD) in shark.

HOT: Sprained (103-64)
NOT: Children (19-27), thanks for wasting 7 minutes where we went 2:00-5:00 because you wanna play over our starting 7*s Rab (who dropped 160 in the TWDT-B finals) and our main under Rough.




WIN OR DIE vs. Meteorite
15:00-1:53

After a rough season thus far in base, WIN OR DIE took out their anger on the hapless Meteorites, as Turban (89-32, 3 Teks) led Kira (73-32), Racka (73-29), Skatarius (69-26), and Cylone (38-15), with vys (15-2) in terr, and Markmrw (3.0 RPD) and Rageritual (2.6 RPD, 5 Teks) in shark.

For the Meteorites, aprix terred in front of Jerome and Space Trooper, with Cherry200, Johnno, madmaxx53, Shock Therapy, and Zizzo in fighter ships.

HOT: Turban, 89-32 with 3 Teks
HOT: Rageritual (5 Teks) and Markmrw (3.0 RPD) for a nice sharking victory!
NOT: Zizzo (43-48), who showed his usual Robert Horry spidering level when not getting carried by four Dice Hall of Famers.

[ogron]

IN MEMORIAM


ill (TJ Hazuki)

TJ Hazuki handed in a ratings sheet for players star ratings so bad it had to be discarded, ignored an in-depth Draft Preview and picked Welt 10th overall, on top of taking 19 1-leaguers with poor showrates, and won 2 out of 18 games. To his credit, he showed every week and made an effort later on, nevertheless he remains the 2015 Worst Cap of the Year.

Welt is a useless bottom-wall guarding pussy who never showed. Maybe the worst TWDT pick in history, although taking Cranium as your top FA pick when he hasn't shown or talked in 6 months is maybe just as bad. Trading Tarnish away from a line that could have featured Skepsis/Tarnish/Tripin/Kentaro for a jav when you have no jav line, is almost as dumb.

Standout players who kept showing and performing despite being on a terrible team: Mikkiz, infrared, Rodney, Jatt, Skepsis, Stung, and Tripin.

Consider drafting these players next year, caps.



Meteorite (Zizzo)

Also one of only two captains whose star ratings were so bad they were thrown out, he decided to captain then disappear for the entire season, make no trades, and play in like two games. Awful.

Zizzo drafted decently, but no showing, not focusing on any league in particular, not being there to draft free agents, and making zero trades to improve left this squad rudderless, missing one player to compliment a good season from Mythril and Geio in warbird, and a few basers to help Cripple, Turtle Power, Megalo, and others in TWDT-B. aprix is one of the best TWDT picks, but he didn't have enough jav support to win many games.

Standout players who kept showing and performing despite being on a terrible team: Mythril, Geio, aprix, Cripple, Turtle Power, Megalo, Jessup, euforia, Wax.

Consider drafting these players next year.

[ogron]

HOT OF THE WEEK


WB of the Week: JAMAL (13-6), leading an Ease-less Thunder with a game-high 13 in the toughest match of the week, taking down Racka, Weak, and Turban.
Jav of the Week: Children (13-6), taking down a scrappy Silence line in a close match. Honorable Mention: Tiny (15-7).
Basers of the Week: Mcvicar (3.1 RPD) and Commodo (3.0 RPD), putting on a sharking clinic against a resilient Thunder line.

Player of the Week: Turban
Turban carried WIN OR DIE to a 2-1 record this week, with a game-high 19-5 in TWDT-J, a team-high 10-10 in TWDT-D against the 6-0 behemoth that is Thunder, and a game-high 89-32 with 3 Teks in TWDT-B, proving once again why he was the #1 pick in the draft.

[ogron]

Playoff Picture



Heading into the final week of regulation, ill and Meteorite have officially been eliminated. Congratulations to Thunder, Power, Blooms, Patouf, Silence, and WIN OR DIE on reaching the postseason!

And a tip of the hat to Thunder for essentially clinching the #1 seed in the Playoffs. They're, for all practical intents and purposes, impossible to catch at this point

There is, however, a lot to play for in WEEK 7. The biggest match of the week is easily Power vs. Blooms in TWDT-D. Make no mistake, these are the only two teams who can clinch the #2 seed and bye into the Semi-Finals. Patouf can't catch them because of tiebreakers and strength of schedule (Power and Blooms both have gimmes in their strongest leagues, so neither will do worse than 1-2) on top of the fact Patouf can't go 3-0 due to facing Thunder (6-0) in warbird.

There is a 99% chance that the Power vs. Blooms warbird match will decide who gets a bye into the SF, as their head-to-head is 1-1 and they have guaranteed wins in javelin and basing, respectively, meaning whoever wins that goes 2-1 and has the tiebreaker; Blooms' jav match vs. Patouf and Power's basing match vs. Thunder are likely irrelevant in this narrow regard. They're relatively even in strength in warbird, so expect an exciting match that decides who skips the Quarter-Finals within the first 15 minutes of TWDT WEEK 7.

There is also some other jostling to go around, and particular matchups Captains may wish to avoid, as the QF pits the #3 seed vs. the #6, and the #4 vs. the #5.

Patouf, Silence, and WIN OR DIE are all within 1 game of each other, and could finish anywhere from 3rd to 6th, depending on how the final games go. Here are the Strength of Schedule and Projected Standings for WEEK 7:







Patouf and Silence could trade #4 and #5 spots depending on their TWDT-B game, but will likely face each other in the Quarter-Finals.

WIN OR DIE has losing tiebreaks with both Silence and Patouf, and an almost unwinnable match vs. Blooms in TWDT-B, meaning they will likely finish 6th.

WIN OR DIE
Silence 0-2
Patouf 1-2

SILENCE
Patouf 1-1
Win or Die 2-0

PATOUF
Silence 1-1
Win or Die 2-1

HOWEVER, if they beat Silence in javs and go 2-1 (they have a gimme in warbird vs. TJ Hazuki), and Patouf loses to Thunder in wb (guaranteed), Blooms in jav (the least likely), and Silence in basing (very possible), they would jump into the 4v5 match ahead of them.

They could also pull the biggest upset of the season off and beat Blooms in TWDT-B, go 3-0, which would also put them ahead of a 1-2 Patouf (who have a brutal WEEK 7 schedule) and clinch 4th or 5th.

Both scenarios are remote, but possible. If the Playoffs started today, they would look like this:



Winners of the 4v5 matches will face #1 in the Semi-Finals. Winners of the 3v6 will face #2.

I think the most likely, and only, change will be decided by the most important match of the season, Power vs. Blooms in TWDT-D. Definitely the game to watch. But don't count Racka and WIN OR DIE out yet, they upset Zidane and co. in jav and could definitely make a late push to slip into 4th or 5th.

Good luck to everyone in WEEK 7!

[ogron]

QUOTABLES


2:hulk> yo gona alias so hard next twdt
2:hulk> be the best 5/5/5
2:Ogron> bet thix said the same thing when he took the name ruhe in frieden
2:General Aladeen> LOL
2:Ease> LOL
2:hulk> ded

Wax> jamal better wb than ricko
Wax> be sure to note that in HoN

Ease> turb wouldn't cheat, he just lives in the middle of nowhere in a bunker 30 feet below the surface

Commodo> racka madder than when he found out dreamwin cud only make the playoffs

7h> wheres my WARBIRD OF THE WEEK Ogron?
7:Ogron> never gonna happen
7h> u see anyone else dropping 12-9 fire on legendary wbs like sulla and cyrus?
7:Racka> LOOOOL
7:Zidane> LOL

RaCka> its 2015 stayon still has to wait 15 seconds to connect to the internet and gets kicked off when his mom uses the house phone