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HOT OR NOT -- WEEK 4

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  • HOT OR NOT -- WEEK 4

    HOT OR NOT




    Week 1
    Week 2
    Week 3
    Week 4
    Week 5
    Week 6
    Week 7
    Quarter-Finals
    Semi-Finals
    Finals



    TWDT-D


    Mist vs. Paddington
    50-32

    Turban (15-6) led the way in this one, dunking on Paddington with ease as Pineapple Express (12-7) gave Pirates some seller's remorse after parting with him in a trade, as Hackysack made Tiny's team pay. Jones (9-6) looked good in what I believe to be his season debut, alongside the ever-reliable Tripin and a surprise 6-Star addition in Yoast (7-4), who looked good.

    For Paddington, Lasenza (13-10) was the lone bright spot, as Zidane, Tiny, Exalt, and Eric Clapton fell short.

    HOT: Turban (15-6)
    HOT: Pineapple Express (12-7)

    NOT: Exalt (3-10). Exalt makes his weekly appearance in the NOT section (despite serious competition from Eric and Tiny, who went 5-10 and 4-10 respectively.) I respect the fact Exalt has continued to show instead of quitting like a bitch like most people do, so out of recognition for his perseverance, I won't make a joke.

    Honestly, I don't know why Tiny benched him for Midoent (0-6) and Spectacular the next game, two players who are clearly worse WBs, and keeping himself in after going 4-10. You don't have any better 7s than Exalt, you may as well give him more run and let him unrust. The guy is showing and praccing in elim, ready to prove his doubters. I like that.


    Haze vs. Lag & Luck
    50-44

    Haze improved to 7-1 in TWDT-D this week, tied with Gryffindor for the best records in WB, as Rough (18-10) put in a monstrous performance ahead of Iron Survivor (10-8), Lockdown, Felix, and Zapata.

    For L&L, JAMAL (14-10) and Burnt (12-10) did their best to stave off the #2 seed, but Cripple and Paky Dude were middling, and Ardour (1-6) and Mean Gene (1-4) were abysmal.

    HOT: Rough (18-10)
    HOT: JAMAL (14-10)

    NOT: Ardour (1-6). Ardour got 1 more kill than he has TWL medals, which is like saying you got a longer dick in inches than Ardour's gf has in black eyes after the match.


    Gryffindor vs. Fish
    50-41

    Gryffindor put in a balanced performance as Okyo (11-9) made his 2019 league debut, playing beside Dak (11-8), Rasaq (11-9), Commodo, and Legacy (9-6) making his first WB debut ever (before the game he asked me how many deaths he gets lol), wowing spectators with a surprise 6-Star sundering.

    Fish had another strong outing from 6-Star Sprackle (13-10), with Morph, Vys, Bacon, and Zizzo negging.

    HOT: Okyo (11-9)
    HOT: Dak (11-8)
    HOT: Sprackle (13-10)

    NOT: Zizzo (4-10). Zizzo looked like he had Magikarpal Tunnel Syndrome out there, and flopped harder than the sequel to Basic Instinct (yes, there was a sequel.)


    Pirates vs. Win or Die
    50-35

    beam (17-9) managed his first win of the season in WEEK 4, with a Herculean effort that overshadowed Mythril's delectable 12-6 score. Singer, Murder, Major Crisis, and Skyforger were also tangentially involved.

    Win or Die opted for the latter, as Jurassic (12-10) and Racka (12-10) accounted for 69% of their team's kills (nice). Skatarius, Wirah, and bitsaver looked lost out there.

    HOT: Beam (17-9)
    HOT: Mythril (12-6)

    NOT: skatarius/Wirah (3-10). The dysenteric duo shit the bed in this one, and are hoping the thread count isn't too high on either the sheets or forums.


    Pirates vs. Paddington
    50-35

    Singer (13-4) looked good out there, taking down the hapless Paddington Bums with peg-legged aplomb, as beam (12-7) continued his 1-day streak of usefulness with another strong performance, ahead of Murder, Mythril, and Skyforger (9-6).

    Zidane (11-10) was the only positive story on the losing side, as Eric Clapton, Lasenza, Midoent, Spectacular, and Tiny failed to achieve parity.

    HOT: Singer (13-4)
    HOT: beam (12-7)

    NOT: midoent (0-6). mido looked like a monster in spider last week, but it didn't seem to transfer leagues as he missed more shots than Karl Malone has missed his kid's birthdays.


    Gryffindor vs. Win or Die
    50-31

    Rasaq (14-8) snagged the MVP in this one with a great performance, ahead of another magical outing from Legacy (10-3) in his second-ever TWDT-D game, while Okyo (12-9), Commodo, and Dak teamed and pushed with zeal in another team-centric victory.

    Racka (10-10) once again was the only WoD player above water, as bitsaver, Jurassic, rozay, and Wirah were non-factors.

    HOT: Rasaq 14-8)
    HOT: Legacy (10-3)

    NOT: Rozay (2-10). Racka thought Rozay said he had "Catatastrophe training him not to die", when in reality he said he had "Cataracts straining his eyes".


    Fish vs. Lag & Luck
    50-35

    Vys (13-4) returned to form in the second match, leading Morph (13-10), Sprackle (9-8), aprix (7-5), and Bacon (8-8) to the W.

    For the luckless laggers, Burnt, Caos, Cripple, JAMAL, Let, and Paky all successfully negged, with a late sub-in from Mean Gene (5-2) being the only stain on their otherwise spotless ineptitude.

    HOT: Vys (13-4)
    HOT: Morph (13-10)

    NOT: JAMAL (3-7). Jamal choked harder than Peter North in a BDSM porn parody of George W. Bush trying to eat a pretzel.


    Haze vs. Mist
    50-49

    This came down to a 1v1 fight between Zapata and Yoast, as the 8-Star narrowly edged out the 6-Star to get the crucial victory.

    Iron Survivor's 17-10 was not wasted, as they needed every single one of those kills, with Zapata (12-9) providing able support, and Rough, Lockdown, and Felix negging, but not badly enough to sink the ship.

    Pineapple Express (15-10) and Tripin (15-10) looked like Apollo and Artemis out there (or "Bill and Lance" from Contra III: Alien Wars if you're an uncultured, braindead, plebeian boob tube bozo like Zidane), as the duo sliced Mist up, but to no avail, as their enchanted outings were squandered by the likes of Yoast, Jones (6-10), and Turban (5-10).

    HOT: Iron Survivor (17-10)
    HOT: Zapata (12-9)
    HOT: Pineapple Express (15-10)
    HOT: Tripin (15-10)

    NOT: turban (5-10). the turban giveth and the turban taketh. In classic fashion, Turb followed up his 15-6 with a 5-10, once again proving himself to be a bigger one-hit wonder than The Bangles.

    I haven't been this disappointed in a ship's sophomore outing since U2's October.

    That joke has more layers than a Freudian dream journal (or a red velvet cake at a gay wedding), not that I expect any of you single-celled amoebas to get it.

    2:zidane> steadman gotta try to be nice to ppl man
    2:zidane> u gotta learn to not be a total douche bag 100% of the time
    2:Ogron> stead prob still has an unevolved kadabra on his gameboy color bc he has no friends
    2:mcvicar> LOL
    2:zidane> ded

  • #2
    TWDT-J


    Win or Die vs. Haze
    50-45

    Racka (14-8) and Cape (13-10) led Win or Die to a narrower V than a Christian promise ring holder at an all-Catholic girl school, as they edged out Haze with minor assistance from bitsaver, uprise, and jurassuck.

    Haze fell despite good efforts from Cuckold (12-10), and Zapata (11-10), with Rough, Ra, and Lockdown in tatters.

    HOT: Racka (14-8)
    HOT: Cape (13-10)

    NOT: Lockdown (2-10). Pinnochilockdown, the story of a 1-shipper who wanted to be a 3-shipper, is now a Disney major motion picture. And like Letdown in jav, it was a massive flop.

    From Monster's bench to a leading role as a wooden boy, there's no doubt this guy respect's wood.




    Gryffindor vs. Paddington
    50-37

    Paradise, fresh off his trade from Paddington, immediately sent Tiny and Zidane a message, dropping a bigly 14-8, as he and Commodo (14-6) went ham, taking down one the best jav teams in the league.

    They were followed into battle by Rab (9-3), who appeared to start 6-0 but it was actually 3 kills and 3 teks (lol), with Kira Yamato and Spezza in tow.

    For Paddingdumb, Zidane (17-10) let out a titanic performance, but all for naught, as Destruct (2-10), Spectacular (4-10), and Eric Clapton (0-10) were horrendous beyond belief. Tiny (8-10) was ok.

    HOT: Zidane (17-10)
    HOT: Paradise (14-8)
    HOT: Commodo (14-6)

    NOT: Eric Clapton (0-10). It took the Mayans hundreds of years to discover the concept of zero, but Eric Clapton managed it in 13 minutes and 6 seconds. Impressive!


    Lag & Luck vs. Fish
    50-31

    Trasher (16-5) went postal in this one, leading Burnt (10-3), Ardour, Mean Gene, and JAMAL to the win.

    Fish's captain was also on point as Zizzo (11-10) had a nice game, despite Vys, maketso, IXT, and aprix floundering.

    HOT: Trasher (16-5)
    HOT: Burnt (10-3)

    NOT: IXT (0-10). Like Homer's co-workers at the nuclear plant, I'm starting to run out of doughnut jokes. IXT's score got a bigger hole than the plot to LOST. Like the Ferrari 360 Spider, he goes 0-60 in 3.2 seconds. Are you coder? Because all your scores feature nothing but 0s and 1s. Ok I'm done.


    Pirates vs. Mist
    50-46

    Mythril (14-9) took down the baddies with gusto, as Singer (12-8) played Tonto to Myth's Lone Ranger (as opposed to Skyforger's Aragorn XXX fanfic, The Long Ranger).

    Beast, Kim, and Sky tagged along for the ride.

    For the Mistians, Dikkiz (13-10) and Turdbin (12-10) rung up good scores, but Poid, Tripin, and Fram did not.

    HOT: Mythril (14-9)
    HOT: Singer (12-8)
    HOT: Mikkiz (13-10)

    NOT: Tripin (3-10). Tripin looked like an extra in a James Bond movie getting pistol-whipped in the face. Or as the British call it, dental surgery.


    Win or Die vs. Gryffindor
    50-46

    Racka (15-8) willed his team to victory, as Cape (10-9) and Jurassic (8-9) managed to stay alive despite nearly blowing a 15 point lead, as uprise (11-10) and bitsaver (4-10) sat in spec.

    Commodo (10-10) salvaged a poor start, with Paradise, Rab, and Davy struggling. Yeh (8-7) played well, but with Davy (6-Star) out of lagouts with only a 7-star available, forced a double substitution from an 8-Star and 7-Star to stay under the 40* limit.

    Ogron came in hot down 15 with a 6-0 sub-in start alongside Kira, as Gryffindor erased the deficit and even managed a 2 kill lead, but a pair of crucial WoD KOs turned the tide back in Racka's favor, and Oggy and Commodo quickly fell down 2v4.

    HOT: Racka (15-8)
    NOT: bitsaver (4-10). 4-10 on the winning side was no bueno, as the breakout star in terr faltered in ships 1 and 2. Which is appropriate, given that bitsaver either goes number 1 or number 2 everytime he enters WB or Jav.

    Fish vs. Haze
    50-45

    Sprackle (13-9), vys (11-8), Raples (10-9), Zizzo, and Morph took down Haze in a close one.

    Rough (14-10) and Cuckold (10-10) were svelte, but not smooth enough to iron over the flaws in Hulk, Big Sean, Ra, and Zapata's games.

    HOT: Sprackle (13-9)
    HOT: Rough (14-10)

    NOT: Zapata (0-6). Zapata's got more zeroes than a Brazilian butt implant doctor's check.


    Paddington vs. Pirates
    50-48

    Zidane (16-9) looked like Cronos out there gobbling up kiddos, singlehandedly carrying Puddington across the finish line, as Tiny, Spectacular, Midoent and Destruct hung onto his coattails.

    Mythril (13-10), Singer (12-10), and Skyforger (11-10) were venomous in their defense, but fell just short, losing by two, thanks to sub-par performances from Beast and Kim.

    HOT: Zidane (16-9)
    HOT: Mythril (13-10)

    NOT: Kim (6-10). Kimchi may be hot, but Kim's chi was ice fucking cold this game, and with no Senzu Bean's from DBZ in sight, the only seed he was getting fed was from Zidane's ballsack.


    Mist vs. Lag & Luck
    50-41

    Tripin (17-8) looked like he belonged on the fuckin' Redeem Team out there, going from 3-10 to 17-8 in a matter of minutes. Maybe there are Senzu Beans out there...

    That stupendous outing was supplemented by Turban (10-9), Fram (10-10), Mikkiz, and Poid's diligent efforts.

    For the Lucky Laggots, Trasher (13-10) and JAMAL (10-10) held serve, but Ardour, Burnt, and Mean Gene were broke.

    HOT: Tripin (17-8)
    HOT: Trasher (13-10)

    NOT: Mean Gene (4-10) and Ardour (5-10). The 8-Stars folded harder than a gymnast in the back of Eazy-E's limo.
    Last edited by Claushouse; 08-05-2019, 12:11 AM.
    2:zidane> steadman gotta try to be nice to ppl man
    2:zidane> u gotta learn to not be a total douche bag 100% of the time
    2:Ogron> stead prob still has an unevolved kadabra on his gameboy color bc he has no friends
    2:mcvicar> LOL
    2:zidane> ded

    Comment


    • #3
      TWDT-B


      Gryffindor vs. Paddington
      15-0

      Rasaq (8-0) terred ahead of Markmrw (3.1 RPD) and Paradise (2.9 RPD), with Davy (70-10) and Spezza (72-16) leading the slaughter, ahead of Banks, Holy Ship, and Rab.

      Oder, Zidane, Midoent, Destruct, Scurvy, Spectacular, TJ Hazuki, and Yojimbo played for Paddington.

      HOT: Davy (70-10)
      HOT: Spezza (72-16)
      HOT: Markmrw (3.1 RPD)

      NOT: Tiny (captain). At Zidane's request, Tiny has been nominated to this ignominious award for putting together this disaster of a TWDT-B squad, which now sits at 0-8. I haven't seen something to badly put together since Johnny Depp at every movie premiere ever.

      Win or Die vs. Pirates
      15-10

      This was a competitive match, but Win or Die managed to remain undefeated this week with an 8-0 record.

      bitsaver (29-4) terred ahead of Joeses (3.0 RPD) and Nipple Nippler.

      Jurassic (124-51) went super saiyan in this one, dropping 124 -- no one else hit 100. I told Ease he was a 9*, but what do I know.

      Cape, Skatarius, Rozay, and Poseidon looked strong in spider.

      Major Crisis (30-8) terred in front of Mythril and Rodney. Bellflowers, Beast, Henry Saari, Singer, and Skyforger spidered.

      HOT: Jurassic (124-51)
      NOT: Beast (56-65). Beast tanked in uglier fashion than the stock market this week, more Berkshire Hathaway than Anne Hathaway.


      Haze vs. Fish
      15-13

      Spookedone (43-7) did his best to blow something like a 12-0 lead with more deaths than Tom Cruise in Edge of Tomorrow, but Hulk (3.0 RPD), Willby and co. managed to salvage the situation and grab the W, in a game where Haze's spiders outkilled Fish by nearly 100 but only won by 2 minutes, a telltale sign of poor terring.

      RUCCI (120), Ra (105), Rough (103), and Lockdown (102) sprayed Fish full of holes with Poni in tow.

      For Fish, Zizzo (43-3) put in a virtuoso performance on the losing side, ahead of Morph and Sprackle, but it sadly wasn't enough.

      aprix (91), Undercut (86), Bram (85), and Bacon (84) nearly managed the comeback alongside Vys, but fell just short.

      HOT: Zizzo (43-3)
      HOT: RUCCI (121-50)

      NOT: SpookedOne (43-7). Like a lottery winner collecting a check with his home address tattooed on his forehead, Spooky did everything possible to turn his good fortune to ash.

      This award was given to him by his teammates, from the appropriately-named Haze. Every week is frosh week when SpookedOne is your terr x)


      Lag & Luck vs. Mist
      15-0

      L&L dumpstered Mist, with Burnt (24-1) terring in front of JAMAL and Mr. Homo, and Trasher (81-22) leading Afghan, Ardour, Cripple, and Skull to the W.

      Mist evaporated during the game, and their names are lost to history.

      HOT: Trasher (81-22)


      Fish vs. Paddington
      15-4

      The salmon finally got the better of the grizzly, as Fish took down Paddington by 11 minutes.

      Zizzo (39-1) continued to play well in terr, protected by Sprackle (3.0 RPD) and Morph in Ship 8.

      Aprix (84), Bacon (80), undercut, and Bram spidered, with Vys in WB.

      HOT: Zizzo (39-1)
      HOT: aprix (84-31)



      Win or Die vs. Mist
      15-1

      Another blowout, bitsaver (23-0) terred an easy one ahead of Joe and RR, with Skat, Jurassic, Cape, Poseidon, and Rozay in spid.

      HOT: bitsaver (23-0)
      HOT: skatarius (72-16)



      Gryffindor vs. Lag & Luck
      15-6

      This was expected to be one of the better games of the week, featuring two of the stronger basing teams, but Gryffindor was hungry for revenge after dropping a pair of winnable games last week, and Lag & Luck ended up on the wrong end of the schedule.

      Ogron (38-4) ran over Burnt with 3 teks to 0, ahead of Commodo (3.0 RPD) and Markmrw.

      Spezza (79), Okyo (78), Rasaq (77) looked great over, while Banks and Anonym didn't drop under once.

      Burnt (18-12) looked completely lost out there, and showed just how much better bitsaver is than every other 8-Star terr out there is and why he's so broken, as JAMAL and Mr. Homo couldn't save him from himself.

      Cripple (109) continued his monster season in spider, killing everything in sight, but it wasn't nearly enough, playing alongside Trasher, Skuff, Afghan and Mean Gene couldn't get much going.

      Methinks this "put Trasher in spider" experiment is going to be shortlived, as Burnt looked like such a disastrous downgrade, but perhaps he just needs more time to unrust in ship 5.

      HOT: Spezza (79-41)
      HOT: Ogron (38-4)

      NOT: Burnt (18-12). Burnt got lit up like an M80 on the 4th of July, and then taken down faster than a General Lee statue on a university campus.


      Haze vs. Pirates
      15-2

      Spooked (17-1) terred ahead of Hulk and Willby, with Rucci, Rough, Ra, Poni, and Lockdown in spider.

      On the losing side, MC terred ahead of Mythril and Rodney, with Beam, Bellflowers, Henry Saari, Singer, and Skyforger in spider.

      HOT: Poni (69-30). Nice.
      HOT: Hulk (3.0 RPD)

      Last edited by Claushouse; 08-05-2019, 12:52 AM.
      2:zidane> steadman gotta try to be nice to ppl man
      2:zidane> u gotta learn to not be a total douche bag 100% of the time
      2:Ogron> stead prob still has an unevolved kadabra on his gameboy color bc he has no friends
      2:mcvicar> LOL
      2:zidane> ded

      Comment


      • #4



        The standings are pulled from Wirah's great TWDT website, where you can see the standings from every week.
        Last edited by Claushouse; 08-05-2019, 12:52 PM.
        2:zidane> steadman gotta try to be nice to ppl man
        2:zidane> u gotta learn to not be a total douche bag 100% of the time
        2:Ogron> stead prob still has an unevolved kadabra on his gameboy color bc he has no friends
        2:mcvicar> LOL
        2:zidane> ded

        Comment


        • #5
          Players of the Week

          WB of the Week: beam (17-9, 12-7)
          Honorable Mention: Pineapple Express (15-10, 12-7), Iron Survivor ( 17-10, 10-8)

          Jav of the Week: Zidane (16-9, 17-10) and Racka (15-8, 14-8)
          Honorable Mention: Tripin (17-8), Paradise (14-8), Trasher (16-5), Commodo (14-6)

          Terrier of the Week: Zizzo (43-3, 39-1)
          Honorable Mention: bitsaver (29-4, 23-0), Ogron (38-4)

          Shark of the Week: Joeses & Nipple Nibbler
          Honorable Mention: Markmrw, Hulk

          Spider of the Week: Spezza (72-16, 79-40) and Jurassic (124-51, 73-28)
          Honorable Mention: Davy (70-10), Cripple (109-41), Trasher (81-22), Aprix (84-31), RUCCI (120-50)

          Player of the Week: Mythril

          Mythril has the unenvious task of propping up a team fighting for the final playoff spot this season, and most of the glory goes to the teams that finish 5-1 or 4-2 every week. Gryffindor and Haze both finished with better records, but I don't think anyone had a larger impact on their team's success this week than Mythril.

          He put up scores of 12-6, 8-8, 14-9, 13-10, 2.9 RPD (with 2 teks), and 2.9 RPD to help his team stay alive in TWDT with a nice 3-3 finish across all three leagues, tied with Mist and only 1 game shy of Paddington in 6th.

          Nice work!



          Runner-Up: Rough

          Rough led his team to a 4-2 week, with scores of 18-10, 9-10, 8-10, 14-10, 103-53 and 46-25. Good job!
          Last edited by Claushouse; 08-05-2019, 12:22 PM.
          2:zidane> steadman gotta try to be nice to ppl man
          2:zidane> u gotta learn to not be a total douche bag 100% of the time
          2:Ogron> stead prob still has an unevolved kadabra on his gameboy color bc he has no friends
          2:mcvicar> LOL
          2:zidane> ded

          Comment


          • #6
            Hot or Not Week 4 is now complete, enjoy!
            2:zidane> steadman gotta try to be nice to ppl man
            2:zidane> u gotta learn to not be a total douche bag 100% of the time
            2:Ogron> stead prob still has an unevolved kadabra on his gameboy color bc he has no friends
            2:mcvicar> LOL
            2:zidane> ded

            Comment


            • #7
              Huge work as per usual. All teams are still on the run which is great for the league. Gryffindor and Haze took a little advance for the semi-finals spots but nothing is done.
              Trasher> lol hellrazor

              Comment


              • #8
                Nice write up. My computer died and I have a kid. So yeah I literally have 0 spare time ‍♂️
                4x TWLD Champion
                Fierce For Life

                Comment


                • #9
                  Originally posted by Geio View Post
                  Nice write up. My computer died and I have a kid. So yeah I literally have 0 spare time *♂️
                  Congrats for the kid =D !
                  Trasher> lol hellrazor

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    Good Read

                    I gave exalt his chance again this week like i do every week. An unmentioned person asked me why I kept adding him, I said...he's been practing all week. I gave him another chance 8(. He's unrusting, slowly but surely. Our 7* wb is our achilles atm...


                    That jav match vs gryffindor was ridiculous......i think the game was tied at 23-23 at one point and i looked at scoreboard and i was 6-3 and zid was like 12-2 or something good and the trio of 7s were 0-18..we had a good LOL after about it....it was a bad day for our 7 *'s, who have been stellar up until now. I think we will turn it around next week.

                    Base, oh my....we were missing everyone.......this was the first week i thought we would put up some base numbers and everyone went MIA.

                    RIP Paddington week 4.

                    Week 5 is PADDINGTON TIME
                    1:waven> u challenge
                    1:waven> if i challenge it looks too scary

                    Originally posted by MHz
                    Hope you contract ebola from your, no doubt cheap, Easter Egg, you fucking shit-jav, pug-faced cunt.

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      EDIT: Wait did ogron say something sorta nice? I don't know how to react. What do I do with my hands?
                      Last edited by Exalt; 08-06-2019, 01:11 PM.

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        Originally posted by ronaldinho View Post

                        Congrats for the kid =D !
                        Appreciate you! Good looks
                        4x TWLD Champion
                        Fierce For Life

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          o.0 shark duo of the week

                          Comment

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