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Originally posted by Mythril
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Pirates has learned to suck with high levels of spirit and low levels of testosterone. Before every match we put our dicks together and say "WIN ON THREE" and then proceed to intimidate the enemy with a deafening roar of unshakable confidence and prosperous unity. And by deafening, I mean I must be deaf because I've never heard it happen. 7roll usually says "MYTH ABOUT TO DROP 20!" and I used to think he was hyping me up and predicting my next round, but now I realize that's his 6-game projection for me on the day. In other Pirates news, two players died on the battlefield yesterday and have not returned. One of them went from a top 10 7* javelin to top 17. But hey, it could be worse. That's the Pirates team motto. It can always be worse. We must remember this fact, even if only for another week.
I know one thing for sure - this team fucking blows. But we're inspired by how much other teams have been keeping pace at sucking as much ass as Pirates has. Flew has assembled a team that has managed to suck an equal amount of ass up until this point and I've been highly impressed whenever I read their scouting report. In the most shocking event of the season, Tiny has assembled a collection of players who are completely bought-in on the game plan of high precision losing at a level we haven't seen in the recent era.
It was truly a unique experience yesterday checking at 30 minute intervals to see who could lose the most in a single day between us and Paddington. The sheer pace of rapid and countless losing began throwing me into a headspin and the losses became difficult to add without my phone calculator. The race was close, and just when I thought one of us might pull ahead for who could suck worse at the last second - it ended in a record-setting stalemate. Both teams are too competitive at losing at this point. The muscle memory is too deep and can't be reversed. The omelet can't be undone into the egg. This is who we are. Sriracha will not change the equation here.
Myself, Turban, and Zidane. The top three picks. We've all pushed each other to the lowest of heights and I commend them each as we jump off this bridge in unison.
But that day is a week away Pirates isn't giving up. We must believe. Please reopen the trading window.
I know one thing for sure - this team fucking blows. But we're inspired by how much other teams have been keeping pace at sucking as much ass as Pirates has. Flew has assembled a team that has managed to suck an equal amount of ass up until this point and I've been highly impressed whenever I read their scouting report. In the most shocking event of the season, Tiny has assembled a collection of players who are completely bought-in on the game plan of high precision losing at a level we haven't seen in the recent era.
It was truly a unique experience yesterday checking at 30 minute intervals to see who could lose the most in a single day between us and Paddington. The sheer pace of rapid and countless losing began throwing me into a headspin and the losses became difficult to add without my phone calculator. The race was close, and just when I thought one of us might pull ahead for who could suck worse at the last second - it ended in a record-setting stalemate. Both teams are too competitive at losing at this point. The muscle memory is too deep and can't be reversed. The omelet can't be undone into the egg. This is who we are. Sriracha will not change the equation here.
Myself, Turban, and Zidane. The top three picks. We've all pushed each other to the lowest of heights and I commend them each as we jump off this bridge in unison.
But that day is a week away Pirates isn't giving up. We must believe. Please reopen the trading window.
LOL MYTH R U DONE?
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