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inspired by ixa's twdt-d write-up and poseidon's twdt-b write-up, i've written a twdt-j write-up with the same level of depth, formatting, and coherency.
Power
main course: zidane 10, mean gene 8.5, iron 8, bombed 7.5, beam 7
on the side: aprix 9, roiwerk 9, major 8, tpz 7.5, dwopple 7
zidane is a top 2 player in his main zone of trench wars, something that now apparently has to be specified due to the EG/DSB influx.
his 2nd banana is either mean gene or aprix or roiwerk, all fairly uninspiring fruits, as aprix costs 9 and provides 8.4, roiwerk is inactive like some elements on the periodic table, and mean gene is mean gene. i prefer MG as he costs 8.5 and unlocks the ability to test a 7.5/7 bottom.
not the first time beam has been called a bottom, he is an uninspiring choice but maybe gigantic dice tryhard DWOPPLE will find a home here, as he is out in TWDD giving many many many efforts in casual dds, and i suspect it can be replicated in TWJD.
Iron looks like he is gonna have a good season in everything and is super motivated, so could be good value.
bombed is another hailed as an EG meganerd, and could be a steal for 7.5 and turn zid's uninspiring jav line into something more formidable, like a megazord. let's check in with our Official TWDT Live Chat Star Rating Expert Thix to see where BOMBED falls:
Thix analysis of EG players:
autopilot: "pure skill..."
Dazz: "pure skill..."
azuline: "[...] he's pure skill."
BOMBED: "Very interesting prospect in spider especially but also all ships... pure skill"
aggi: "will take him a little while to adapt but trust, he is pure skill"
Omega Red: "something i would not say he is blessed with is pure skill"
Good analysis Pressure, thanks!
Due to a superstar zid, middling middlemen, unknown variable in BOMBED, and potential outplay of Iron, this team has a lot of variability in outcome from Above Average to Great. I rate it...
11.5 Brapple!
Malevolent
starters: turban 10, ro 9, maketso 9, autopilot 6.5, rucci 6.5
subs: none. all-in, guns loaded, no turning back suicide mission
turban has gone inverted pyramid dragon combat style, with 3 TWLJ finals javelins, set atop 2 michelob ultra low carb players, hoping that autopilot transforms from EG #1 goku SSJ2 player to the Michael Jordan of subspace in 3 months.
turban is a top 3 jav, ro top 10, maketso top 9, so if the bottom the pyramid can hold, this team can have many success, in jav and other things.
if autopilot becomes a stud, it can become the foundation of a championship house. turban and many EG prophets believe that autopilot is the chosen one, although based on Tesla crashes my trust level is 7 out of 17 on that one.
i rate this team...
15 Brapple!
Slay
Slicers: Steadmon 10, Trasher 9, skatarius 8.5, Pressure 7, Dazz 6.5
Dicers: Spawnisen Nine, lockdown Seven-point-Five, murder Seven-point-Five, zapata seven-POINT-five
getting steadmin late slay went from having no liine to maybe potentially having some line if they can get sum1 who hasn't successfully completed a TWL season since 2014 and has quit half the TWDT seasons he's played and if he was a pokemon he would be Koffing.
with the ability to completely destroy a team from within due to being the most toxic teammate in TW history, he also simultaneously has the potential to save Thix's season in DT-J as he is a very talented javomon who is an actual 10-star player, and carried Legio to the TWDT-J finals in 2018.
Trasher is good but no value at 9, skatarius is decent but no value at 8.5, pressure is not so good, and Dazz has pure skill and is a very good EG player who could be excellent value and help make this line decent.
This line would be 0 out of 110 but steadman is a Top 4 javelin in the zone when he wants to be and can singlehandedly carry this shitcicle of a line, and dazz's potential broken stars can make the dookie value of trasher/skat/whoever palatable.
I rate this team....
9 Brapple!
Mastirs
The Five: Commodo 9.5, Kado 9, kira 8.5, creature 8, big sean 7.5
Foxy & Friends: violence, vys
i think kira missing most of the season? this team prob needs FA or a trade or they have only 3 high-star javs.
it's a very thin depth, but Commodo/Kado/Kira/Creature is a strong foursome. Commodo is a top banana who has won as a 10*, kado is TWLJ finals caliber, kira is talented and wild, creature is tryhard with natural talent, big sean is ok, given his rating he should be called medium sean tho.
kado/kira/creature have some showrate and inactivity issues, i feel like it's just going to a very rough regular season with a revolving door lineup that causes many Losses and Few wins, but if all 5 show every game then all is well in violence land, where nothing can possiblay go wrong.
(Violence Land coming to the park in 2021. Not available at Itchy & Scratchy Land Europe, where it will be replaced with LagCheater Land)
Due to these showrates and potentialities veering on the negative, I rate this team...
5-and-a-half Brapple!
Terrorist
Cinco de Mayo: Dreamwin 9.5, Jamal 8.5, Ardour 8.5, Poid 7.5, (sum1 who is 7 but it's a mystery to me)
4th String of July: Yeh 8.5, Tripin 7.5, sum1 7.5
Defending champignons Terrorist did not select The Shroom, but will look to level up their XP via victories in dt-j using a very mediocre and uninspiring line feature dreamwin who is 9.5 with 9.1 talent, jamal who is 8.5 with 8.2 talent, ardour who is 8.5 for 8.4 talent, and poid who is 7.5 for 7.3 talent, in a cacophony of negative value and mediocrity that I find extremely surprising given how many excellent TWDT-J teams dumbwin has assembled over the years... this might be the worst one, after putting together dreamwin/saiyan/maketso last season and winning with a supreme lineup of competence and superiority.
Who is carrying this line? I'm at a loss here. Dreamwin has played TWLj for 15 years and never finished in the top 10 in jav stats in playoffs. Ardour is ardour.
Is this team a Psyduck casting Psybeam? Because I'm very confused.
I rate this team
1.5 Brapple!
Patouf
Ronaldos: stayon 9, kess 9, bigmon 9.5, bigking 6.5, henry salami 7
Renatos: Kim 8.5, spectacular 8, flew 7.5
Level 200 tryhard Stayon will take full advantage of his 9-star rating and play many JDs along with 9-star kess, as the portuguese hermano-war jellyfish slap the less favorably rated magikarps on other teams.
they can go turban-style 3 superman and 2 Lois'es with best, or more balanced line featuring kim and spec, so they have versatility, and look to have some very strong potential in dt-j.
Stayon hopes to win much of the $2000 prize so he can quit his job translating Harry Potter into Portuguese. Their internet isn't fast enough to transfer the 10,000 pages (obviously), and they used up all their trees building warships and caravels during the 1500 to 1800s dominating the sea and colonizing half the world and have no paper, so they read Harry Potter on plastic bubblegum strips 1 page at a time using Bazooka Joe printing technology.
They're currently on Harry Potter et la Camara Secreta, which I assume is the one where Ron secretly installs a hidden camera in the girls bathroom and gets caught by Hermione.
I rate this team...
13 Brapple!
Spelunky
Starters: Ease 10, tiny 9.5, hulk 8, diakka 7, azuline 6.5
Non-Starters: You're over 30 and your job has you wearing a nametag, you own a snake as a pet, you think Two-and-a-Half Men is a funny TV show
Azuline's 6.5 like Dazz and other EGmons unlocks massive brapple potential.
Ease is a 10, and Tiny is a 9.5. These are statements of facts, and I hope you enjoyed them.
You want analysis? Fine. Ease is a very good bouncy ship player, and Tiny is a good bouncy ship player. Hulk has lots of value as a TWLJ finals player in the past with high IQ, diakka is probably an 8 who costs 7 when very active which he said he will be, and azuline exists.
This lineup, as steadman once said:
Steadman> u got potention kid
Dangers and pitfalls exist despite being extremely nimble fingered individuals: hulk and diakka are more amazing for their star level in theory than in current reality, and will need to play more to achieve that potential and take Spelunkers to a sky-high level.
I rate this team...
14-and-a-half Brapple!
Blast
Cosmonauts: 24 Nine-point-five, Racka 9.5, Mikkiz 8, a2m 7.5, sum1 6.5
Cosmo Kramers: Geio 8, renzi 7.5, skyforger 7.5, rodney 7.5, halls 7, Racka's Dog Dexter
24 and Racka just won TWLJ together and will be a lethal duo, while Mikkiz is considered a good value 8, and rodney/a2m and a 6.5 would make for a very good team of mans flying around in yellow banana ships.
When I told Pressure that Racka's Dog Dexter was from EG, he said that he was pure skill and would make a splash in TWDT. When i expressed skepticism he said "lol ull see". The colorblind marsupial Dexter will make his debut this season after being picked ahead of Jessup despite Jessup's imposing forum signatuire indicating he was a POWER TRIPLE CROWN CHAMPION where he didn't play 2 of the 3 finals and went 3-5 in jav.
Very good team with the potential to acquire all 8 pokebadges.
I rate them...
12-and-a-half Brapple!
Demonic
Most likely to Hail Satan: Saiyan 9.5, morph 9, paradise 8.5, bacon 7.5, QAWS 6.5
Most likely to Hail an Uber: hellkite 8, heaven 7.5, zeebutt 7
Most appropriately named person selected to a squad AWARD: Hellkite, drafted to Demonic.
Saiyan drafted a very strong contender in javomon, with saiyan/morph/paradise as star players in ship 2, while bacon is good and apparently QAWS was misrated and not alias checked and that's apparently perfectly fine.
The three amigos have deep and strong line, like one used to catch swordfish in professional tournaments on ESPN8, The Ocho.
As Will Shortz would say, this was well contructed.
I rate this team...
16 Brapple!
Haze
Dazed: Rough 10, uprise 8.5, sprackle 8, riverside 7.5, banzi 7
Confused: the name's bond, vagabond, jurassic
Like Sharknado 3 this line does not have enough star power and features too many sharks.
It's a balanced line and should be OK but Rough and uprise are the only shakers and movers, whereas riverside is just a Mover, and an illiterate one at that.
This team will get out-talented by superstars but the games should be competitive.
I rate this team...
7 Brapple!
------------------------------------------------------FINAL RANKINGS----------------------------------
Flippity Floop Tier
demonic (16 brapple)
Malevolent (15 brapple)
spelunky (14.5 brapple)
Bippidy Bop Tier
patouf (13 brapple)
blast (12.5 brapple)
POWER (11.5 brapple)
Gloppidy Gloop Tier
slay (9 brapple)
haze (7 brapple)
mastirs (5.5 brapple)
Doopity Dop Tier
terrorist (1.5 brapple*)
*moves up to Bippidy Bop Tier if Invisijav shows up
Power
main course: zidane 10, mean gene 8.5, iron 8, bombed 7.5, beam 7
on the side: aprix 9, roiwerk 9, major 8, tpz 7.5, dwopple 7
zidane is a top 2 player in his main zone of trench wars, something that now apparently has to be specified due to the EG/DSB influx.
his 2nd banana is either mean gene or aprix or roiwerk, all fairly uninspiring fruits, as aprix costs 9 and provides 8.4, roiwerk is inactive like some elements on the periodic table, and mean gene is mean gene. i prefer MG as he costs 8.5 and unlocks the ability to test a 7.5/7 bottom.
not the first time beam has been called a bottom, he is an uninspiring choice but maybe gigantic dice tryhard DWOPPLE will find a home here, as he is out in TWDD giving many many many efforts in casual dds, and i suspect it can be replicated in TWJD.
Iron looks like he is gonna have a good season in everything and is super motivated, so could be good value.
bombed is another hailed as an EG meganerd, and could be a steal for 7.5 and turn zid's uninspiring jav line into something more formidable, like a megazord. let's check in with our Official TWDT Live Chat Star Rating Expert Thix to see where BOMBED falls:
Thix analysis of EG players:
autopilot: "pure skill..."
Dazz: "pure skill..."
azuline: "[...] he's pure skill."
BOMBED: "Very interesting prospect in spider especially but also all ships... pure skill"
aggi: "will take him a little while to adapt but trust, he is pure skill"
Omega Red: "something i would not say he is blessed with is pure skill"
Good analysis Pressure, thanks!
Due to a superstar zid, middling middlemen, unknown variable in BOMBED, and potential outplay of Iron, this team has a lot of variability in outcome from Above Average to Great. I rate it...
11.5 Brapple!
Malevolent
starters: turban 10, ro 9, maketso 9, autopilot 6.5, rucci 6.5
subs: none. all-in, guns loaded, no turning back suicide mission
turban has gone inverted pyramid dragon combat style, with 3 TWLJ finals javelins, set atop 2 michelob ultra low carb players, hoping that autopilot transforms from EG #1 goku SSJ2 player to the Michael Jordan of subspace in 3 months.
turban is a top 3 jav, ro top 10, maketso top 9, so if the bottom the pyramid can hold, this team can have many success, in jav and other things.
if autopilot becomes a stud, it can become the foundation of a championship house. turban and many EG prophets believe that autopilot is the chosen one, although based on Tesla crashes my trust level is 7 out of 17 on that one.
i rate this team...
15 Brapple!
Slay
Slicers: Steadmon 10, Trasher 9, skatarius 8.5, Pressure 7, Dazz 6.5
Dicers: Spawnisen Nine, lockdown Seven-point-Five, murder Seven-point-Five, zapata seven-POINT-five
getting steadmin late slay went from having no liine to maybe potentially having some line if they can get sum1 who hasn't successfully completed a TWL season since 2014 and has quit half the TWDT seasons he's played and if he was a pokemon he would be Koffing.
with the ability to completely destroy a team from within due to being the most toxic teammate in TW history, he also simultaneously has the potential to save Thix's season in DT-J as he is a very talented javomon who is an actual 10-star player, and carried Legio to the TWDT-J finals in 2018.
Trasher is good but no value at 9, skatarius is decent but no value at 8.5, pressure is not so good, and Dazz has pure skill and is a very good EG player who could be excellent value and help make this line decent.
This line would be 0 out of 110 but steadman is a Top 4 javelin in the zone when he wants to be and can singlehandedly carry this shitcicle of a line, and dazz's potential broken stars can make the dookie value of trasher/skat/whoever palatable.
I rate this team....
9 Brapple!
Mastirs
The Five: Commodo 9.5, Kado 9, kira 8.5, creature 8, big sean 7.5
Foxy & Friends: violence, vys
i think kira missing most of the season? this team prob needs FA or a trade or they have only 3 high-star javs.
it's a very thin depth, but Commodo/Kado/Kira/Creature is a strong foursome. Commodo is a top banana who has won as a 10*, kado is TWLJ finals caliber, kira is talented and wild, creature is tryhard with natural talent, big sean is ok, given his rating he should be called medium sean tho.
kado/kira/creature have some showrate and inactivity issues, i feel like it's just going to a very rough regular season with a revolving door lineup that causes many Losses and Few wins, but if all 5 show every game then all is well in violence land, where nothing can possiblay go wrong.
(Violence Land coming to the park in 2021. Not available at Itchy & Scratchy Land Europe, where it will be replaced with LagCheater Land)
Due to these showrates and potentialities veering on the negative, I rate this team...
5-and-a-half Brapple!
Terrorist
Cinco de Mayo: Dreamwin 9.5, Jamal 8.5, Ardour 8.5, Poid 7.5, (sum1 who is 7 but it's a mystery to me)
4th String of July: Yeh 8.5, Tripin 7.5, sum1 7.5
Defending champignons Terrorist did not select The Shroom, but will look to level up their XP via victories in dt-j using a very mediocre and uninspiring line feature dreamwin who is 9.5 with 9.1 talent, jamal who is 8.5 with 8.2 talent, ardour who is 8.5 for 8.4 talent, and poid who is 7.5 for 7.3 talent, in a cacophony of negative value and mediocrity that I find extremely surprising given how many excellent TWDT-J teams dumbwin has assembled over the years... this might be the worst one, after putting together dreamwin/saiyan/maketso last season and winning with a supreme lineup of competence and superiority.
Who is carrying this line? I'm at a loss here. Dreamwin has played TWLj for 15 years and never finished in the top 10 in jav stats in playoffs. Ardour is ardour.
Is this team a Psyduck casting Psybeam? Because I'm very confused.
I rate this team
1.5 Brapple!
Patouf
Ronaldos: stayon 9, kess 9, bigmon 9.5, bigking 6.5, henry salami 7
Renatos: Kim 8.5, spectacular 8, flew 7.5
Level 200 tryhard Stayon will take full advantage of his 9-star rating and play many JDs along with 9-star kess, as the portuguese hermano-war jellyfish slap the less favorably rated magikarps on other teams.
they can go turban-style 3 superman and 2 Lois'es with best, or more balanced line featuring kim and spec, so they have versatility, and look to have some very strong potential in dt-j.
Stayon hopes to win much of the $2000 prize so he can quit his job translating Harry Potter into Portuguese. Their internet isn't fast enough to transfer the 10,000 pages (obviously), and they used up all their trees building warships and caravels during the 1500 to 1800s dominating the sea and colonizing half the world and have no paper, so they read Harry Potter on plastic bubblegum strips 1 page at a time using Bazooka Joe printing technology.
They're currently on Harry Potter et la Camara Secreta, which I assume is the one where Ron secretly installs a hidden camera in the girls bathroom and gets caught by Hermione.
I rate this team...
13 Brapple!
Spelunky
Starters: Ease 10, tiny 9.5, hulk 8, diakka 7, azuline 6.5
Non-Starters: You're over 30 and your job has you wearing a nametag, you own a snake as a pet, you think Two-and-a-Half Men is a funny TV show
Azuline's 6.5 like Dazz and other EGmons unlocks massive brapple potential.
Ease is a 10, and Tiny is a 9.5. These are statements of facts, and I hope you enjoyed them.
You want analysis? Fine. Ease is a very good bouncy ship player, and Tiny is a good bouncy ship player. Hulk has lots of value as a TWLJ finals player in the past with high IQ, diakka is probably an 8 who costs 7 when very active which he said he will be, and azuline exists.
This lineup, as steadman once said:
Steadman> u got potention kid
Dangers and pitfalls exist despite being extremely nimble fingered individuals: hulk and diakka are more amazing for their star level in theory than in current reality, and will need to play more to achieve that potential and take Spelunkers to a sky-high level.
I rate this team...
14-and-a-half Brapple!
Blast
Cosmonauts: 24 Nine-point-five, Racka 9.5, Mikkiz 8, a2m 7.5, sum1 6.5
Cosmo Kramers: Geio 8, renzi 7.5, skyforger 7.5, rodney 7.5, halls 7, Racka's Dog Dexter
24 and Racka just won TWLJ together and will be a lethal duo, while Mikkiz is considered a good value 8, and rodney/a2m and a 6.5 would make for a very good team of mans flying around in yellow banana ships.
When I told Pressure that Racka's Dog Dexter was from EG, he said that he was pure skill and would make a splash in TWDT. When i expressed skepticism he said "lol ull see". The colorblind marsupial Dexter will make his debut this season after being picked ahead of Jessup despite Jessup's imposing forum signatuire indicating he was a POWER TRIPLE CROWN CHAMPION where he didn't play 2 of the 3 finals and went 3-5 in jav.
Very good team with the potential to acquire all 8 pokebadges.
I rate them...
12-and-a-half Brapple!
Demonic
Most likely to Hail Satan: Saiyan 9.5, morph 9, paradise 8.5, bacon 7.5, QAWS 6.5
Most likely to Hail an Uber: hellkite 8, heaven 7.5, zeebutt 7
Most appropriately named person selected to a squad AWARD: Hellkite, drafted to Demonic.
Saiyan drafted a very strong contender in javomon, with saiyan/morph/paradise as star players in ship 2, while bacon is good and apparently QAWS was misrated and not alias checked and that's apparently perfectly fine.
The three amigos have deep and strong line, like one used to catch swordfish in professional tournaments on ESPN8, The Ocho.
As Will Shortz would say, this was well contructed.
I rate this team...
16 Brapple!
Haze
Dazed: Rough 10, uprise 8.5, sprackle 8, riverside 7.5, banzi 7
Confused: the name's bond, vagabond, jurassic
Like Sharknado 3 this line does not have enough star power and features too many sharks.
It's a balanced line and should be OK but Rough and uprise are the only shakers and movers, whereas riverside is just a Mover, and an illiterate one at that.
This team will get out-talented by superstars but the games should be competitive.
I rate this team...
7 Brapple!
------------------------------------------------------FINAL RANKINGS----------------------------------
Flippity Floop Tier
demonic (16 brapple)
Malevolent (15 brapple)
spelunky (14.5 brapple)
Bippidy Bop Tier
patouf (13 brapple)
blast (12.5 brapple)
POWER (11.5 brapple)
Gloppidy Gloop Tier
slay (9 brapple)
haze (7 brapple)
mastirs (5.5 brapple)
Doopity Dop Tier
terrorist (1.5 brapple*)
*moves up to Bippidy Bop Tier if Invisijav shows up
P
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