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Ethereal vs. Power
50-43
Say what you will about vys, but his giant bald head continues to reflect unwanted light into his opponents eyes and he has become, without a doubt, the best TWDT-D regular season player of all-time (His performances in the playoffs have also been really outstanding, but there's a lot more competition for the GOAT at that stage -- wasn't a backhanded compliment, or as Undercut calls them when addressing Missa -- a compliment).
Despite playing 1.5* stars down vys still carried a bunch of fucking dogshit players with a stellar 15-7, and picking him in DT continues to be a winning strategy. Great pick by Ekko, whose decision-making has improved markedly since calling me an overrated 10* terr last year and i double-aced him immediately afterwards in semis.
Speaking of the neophyte capitaine, Ekko also carried with an excellent 16-8, as he works to become the next Racka/Renzi wombo combo in TWDTD with Vys.
Dare and Jz died out 5 minutes before the end with 6-10s and were useless, why nbside domu went 7-8 and was key to victory giving his team a 3v2 man advantage.
Power's side saw a Herculean or Beamulean effort from subspace's resident bridge troll, and while his parents inability to give out hugs has left most of us worse for wear, Power is reaping the benefits of beam's ruthless style and cold-blooded nerves in the heat of battle, as he nearly carried the day.
Iron Slurmvivor had a respectable 11-10 but Brazilian Bender could only bend a girder into an 'L' beam, as Power lost the match. Spuds Mckenzie remains unimpressed, and Iron will have to imbibe more coconuts to power up for the next match.
zidane 4-10 was putrid dogshit, but i'm sure he found a way to blame someone else. zid the type of guy to fart in an elevator with only one other person and look at you like you did it.
Jack was un-jack-like with a 7-10, but everyone loves Jack so we'll give him a pass. Man still riding the tailwinds of his 1972 TWLD title like he's the '08 Celtics.
Draft 6-10, nice guy, but the least clutch player of all-time and if you passed him the ball in an NBA game for a buzzer beater he'd crumple into the fetal position and go catatonic. The Michael Cera of subspace players.
HOT: Vys
HOT: Ekko
NOT: zidane
Bunnies vs. Prime
47-50
Spawnisen (14-9) is the Chris Paul of subspace, he's constantly unavailable and costs you 99.9% of seasons, but if he somehow manages to show and stay healthy he's a multi-ship, multi-talented star player who can win you a championship. He has a long history of showing one week then vanishing in the air like a fart, but he was here Week 1 and carried the day.
Cripple continues to morph into a warbird as he has been one of the best WBs in TWDT for 3 years now, and should really be in a TWLD contender line going forward, if that dogshit league is ever run again (maybe Turban can state 100x he's not playing then join whichever team Skatarius is one for the umpteenth time like the finnish Hannibal Lector he is). Honestly it's more likely Crip wins TWLD than TWLB at this point since he hasnt won it since 2012 almost 12 years ago. His hand-eye coordination is beyond outlier and he has really built up his warbirding acumen.
Racka was sub-optimal in that he submerged his optimal keyboard settings into a vat of acid and chose to play on a guitar hero controller with his feet, based on his piss poor performance dying out first on his team at 9:38. Just because you keep saving the zone doesn't mean i saved a spot for you in my shriveled heart, you coke-snorting Miami shithead. I bet you own like.... 7 white suits, and have pink shirts and wear sunglasses at night and think you're hot shit. I hate you.
REnzi 11-10 good stuff. Pean 3-9, who the fuck is Pean? What a stupid name. If Mattey was here he would tell you what an absolute turd you are and your name is terrible. Change it.
On the losing side, Spartan swallowed some Big Dick Energy drink before the match, dropping a monstrous 18-10 to nearly carry the putrid dogshit team he drafted, cancelling each other out.
Daktacular 9-10 congrats you almost went 1:1 in your only ship.
Paradise 9-10, im shocked this guy showed up, he's more afraid of the moment than Draft and they've played a combined 1.5 TWL seasons in 25 years because their hands shake worse than J-B-Inc on withdrawal (from drugs, or Goddess -- who knows?)
ixador 2-6... good guy but would lose a duel to mr. magoo
HOT: Spartan
HOT: Spawnisen
HOT: Cripple
NOT: Dak (not really the LVP and he's a nice guy, i just watch him play and i lose all faith in humanity his style actually causes cancer he needs one of those cigarette carton warnings plastered on his forehead.)
Pure Luck vs. Stray
31-50
Zapata (14-3) has a long, lifetime history of being a complete and utter dogshit DT cap but he's #2 in the standings and dropping big boy scores in WB so maybe the chiquita banana factory he works at finally paid for his glaucoma medication and he can see properly now.
Sarger (13-6) continues his unabated chasing of Cripple and matching his ascent in Warbird, as Cripple continues to live rent free in sargers head from beating him in the 2007 and 2008 TWLB finals and shit talking him on forums... Sarger is still not over it despite winning title after title and probably has the final line of The Great Gatsby carved on his Igloo in Iceland.
"And as I sat there, brooding on the old unknown world, I thought of Sarger’s wonder when he first picked out the green light at the end of Cripple’s dock. He had come a long way to this blue lawn and his dream must have seemed so close that he could hardly fail to grasp it. He did not know that it was already behind him, somewhere back in that vast obscurity beyond the city, where the dark fields of the republic rolled on under the night.
Sarger believed in the green light, the orgastic future that year by year recedes before us. It eluded us then, but that’s no matter—tomorrow we will run faster, stretch out our arms farther. . . . And one fine morning——
So we beat on, boats against the current, borne back ceaselessly into the past."
F. Scott Fitzgeralds point is that Sarger's butthurt and no amount of winning will fill the hole in his heart dice created 16 years ago. but i'm sure a TWDT-D title in 2023 will patch that right up...
Rasaq with an 11-9 provided good support, while banzi 5-6 looks like a shell of a shell of a shell of his 2002 self in his 'Melo Lakers phase.
Pure LUck had a bunch of neggers minus Tiny, who went 10-10, while field a...
35* Line
Tiny should be the spokesperson for a Glue company because he's been huffing it and capping for years. He probably thinks they went 6-0 and is out sniffing a celebratory gluestick (hopefully not in an elevator with zidane). I am starting to suspect Racka caps him so his own team more likely to make playoffs.
I'm not going to name all the dogshit performances on PL because Tiny set them up to fail. Except Mouse (5-10), who apparently keeps writing novels about me in his dtb previews despite the fact i am not in TWDT, and barely played the last few seasons. The James Harden of SS has burned so many bridges he would have been an asset fighting the germans in WW2 in the Netherlands.
HOT: zapata
HOT: Sarger
NOT: Mouse
(mouse will be happy about the NOT if only because he's next to sarger)
Terrorist vs. Cloud
50-20
Terrorist embarrassed a bunch of actual TWLD warbirds in Mythril, Geio, and Paky Dude while fielding a line with 1 warbird and 4 basers/javs.........
50-20
Not a typo. LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOL.
This might be the worst loss since the '98 Bulls whomping willowed the Jazz in the finals like 80-40. Holy Bagumba!
Lockdown with a Jack (the Ripper, not Jack the washed SS player) -like performance dropping an incredible 15-2. I'm glad he's doing well because when he sees the Phoenix Suns round 2 exit again this year because they have no defense, he's going to need an emotional support bookmark to this boxscore.
Hurricane 9-3, dumbwin 9-4, uprise 9-6, zizzo 7-5... excellent job you Hamas loving terrorists.
Geio 3-10 clearly forgot which multiple personality of his is the one that's good at subspace
Paky Dude 5-10, guy has never won anything but carries himself like he's Deez Nuts, you suck and if anyone surrounded you with a good team in TWLD you'd fold like a lawn chair you absolute cum guzzlin' nobody. 23 years never popped nothing never done nothing quit frontin'.
harder 1-10 was your monitor even on? honestly ive seen lepers with 6 fingers get more kills. uninstall.
HOT: Lockdown
NOT: Geio
NOT: Paky Dude
NOT: Harder
more knots than anchor line. Which is good, because Cloud has no shortage of anchors on their team.
Stray vs. Bunniers
50-46
Stray narrowly edged out bunnies thanks to a shocking 15-9 from Ravage, who likely pulled a Will Ferrell blacking out in Old School to carry his team to the W.
Jessup was a 6-2 power sub, after being a 6-9 power bottom last night. Excellent clutch play.
Sarger 1-7 on the winning team and had his bacon saved by an omelet brain.
Bunnies, good effort, but no prize for finishing 2nd out of 2.
Dak had a svelte 15-10, but MVP (3-10) was particularly dogshit. I'm sure he'll have 9 pages of stats from his dt-b sharking dominance over an 18 month period between 2020-2022 to explain this performance, so we'll have to re-evaluate after looking them over.
HOT: Ravage
HOT: Jessup
HOT: Dak
NOT: MVP
NOT: Sarger
Cloud vs. Ethereal
40-50
Vys continued to shine brighter than every stellar object in the universe except his own forehead, with a superlative 15-7 to once again lead his team to victory.
Jz, Ekko and nbside domu (a name only possible to create while having a stroke) were solid, helping their Main Character vys get the W.
Cloud was literally 2x less pathetic than Game 1, losing 50-40 instead of 50-20.
Hey -- it's progress!
Geio looked like D-Wade on the Redeem Team with a 15-10 -- 5x his previous game's output -- but despite Myth going 1:1 and Paky only being mildly useless, harder (2-10) and poube proved too hard to carry.
HOT: Geio
HOT: Vys
NOT: Harder
Prime vs. Terrorist
50-30
Racka revenged himself on Terrorist like an Isreali F15 Ace, dropping a stinging 14-4 on the hapless Hamas-like terrorists, leading his team to a ruthless 50-30 carpet bombing of their opponent.
The Hague will be making inquiries into this devastation, and Racka may be prosecuted for war crimes.
Beast had a surprising 12-5 as the neurons in his brain fired for the first time since he touched those electrical cables sitting in a puddle, while Cripple remained excellent and Spawnisen steady.
Lockdown 3-10 clearly watched some Bradley Beal highlights before this game, while Uprise (4-10)'s Arthritis rose up against his fingers.
HOT: Racka
HOT: Beast
NOT: Lockdown
Power vs. Pure Luck
50-24
Scrooge's Power put the kibosh on Tiny Tim's Pure Luck, as Iron Survivor filed a gargantuan 18-5 performance through his tin can/coathanger/chicken coop wire mangled internet cable that somehow reaches the continental united states.
Beam stayed red hot like an Oddysey putter and smoked PL like a juicy ham with a sizzlin' 13-4.
Draft Zizu Jack were good but not great.
Tiny's team was hopeless, and Lifetime Achievement Award recipient for 10* attitude 7.5* skill Ardour put in a typical 5-10 to round out a career devoid of accolades.
Hellkite was particularly terrible with a 2-10. Omega little better.
HOT: Iron Survivor
HOT: Beam
NOT: Hellkite
NOT: Ardour (you were never good at this game in any era and your contributions to SS are incredibly minor. write me a novel i won't read in the comments, please and thank you!)
JAV
Stray vs. Power
30-50
Stray shit the bed and got pounded harder than Lana Rhodes in Drill Sergeant 2: Obey Your Cummander (the sequel just doesn't have the original's tight script... or tight anything)
Zidane (11-5) and beam (12-10) led a balanced effort as Iron, Jack, and Skat also chipped in (the latter 3 having a combined 890 Ping, or the same amount of Pings as the city of Shanghai).
Roiwerk 5-10 couldnt lead his team to victory despite his bombs apparating like Dumbledore half an inch from your ship and undodgeable, and sure enough the losing team features Spectacular, one of the most spectacularly mediocre 1-shippers of all time who has somehow managed to be less impressive than the standard-bearer of jav mediocrity (Ardour).
HOT: Zidane
NOT: Roiwerk
NOT: Rasaq
Prime vs. ethereal
50-28
Prime curbstomped Ethereal like they were in American History X, and Beast 14-6 looks like he might have that demon from The Exorcist inhabiting his body because someone that bad at subspace for 20 straight years shouldnt be this good.
Racka 13-4... Racka the type of guy to reach out and ask you to write Hot or Not after putting up a bunch of good scores and saying "do it for the good of the zone" with a straight face. Absolute Miami Heat fake fan turd, guy probably thinks Udonis Haslem is still on the team -- if he ever knew who Udonis Haslem was in the first place, which he doesn't. Everyone from Florida is the human equivalent of an unwashed white wifebeater.
Cripple was also a star in jav somehow, guy is bringing back crazy DT value despite having the language skills of a toilet gator. No surprise he is also a shithead from Miami like Racka.
JOESES 5-9 on the winning team continues his 1-ship shitter lifetime status who mains a ship that doesnt require aim, i hope he finally wins TWDT-B and gets his first title without the bicycle training wheels of being either A) a low-star B) Skatarius/Turban being 12-0 in their last 12 TWLB playoff games regardless of teammates and carrying him. Absolute trashcan personality too, if he was dying of thirst I wouldn't piss on him.
Ethereal, meanwhile, was so bad I'm putting their whole team into Witness Protection and hidding their names. Except Dare (3-10). Hi Dare! <3
HOT: Racka
HOT: Beast
NOT: JOESES
NOT: Dare
bunnies vs. Cloud
36-50
Mythril (11-5) led his team to the win, alongside TPZ (12-4), who was sublime in jav, finding his 2019 form again after pming his caps "dont add me to jav" like a cartoon tortoise.
Mikkiz nice 11-9, Stayon 8-8 support. Good stuff.
Losing team: Dak 10-10 only good score, SPartan 3-10 yikes.
HOT: Mythril
HOT: TPZ
NOT: Spartan
pure suck vs. terrorist
42-50
Winningest TWDT Captain of all time (source: Dreamwins sig) Dreamwin led his team to victory with a 13-10, aided by fellow Finnish Personality-of-a-block-of-ice (tied with entire country of Finland) Zizzo, Huricane, and Lockdown. Hype man Cig Smoke was there getting mad assists which didnt show up the on the scoreboard, but i know his heart <3
Tiny was good with 13-10 but not enough, while Creature returned to the game with an 11-10 while on 0 chats because he's a sensitive soul. He just pms Ease and they're basically Gollum's split personality talking to each other. Thunder turds.
Oh and Hellkite (3-10) was a human poopsicle. I love you but you were terrible today. Try playing with your fingers instead of banging your head on the keyboard like JAMAL says you do.
HOT: Dreamwin
HOT: Tiny
NOT: Hellkite
ethereal vs. bunnies
26-50
Aprix (14-3) put in his first good game since 2003, when he was touted as an up-and-coming rookie on the rise (he rose about as much as a 75 year old without ED pills), helped by a ferocious Hulk (11-3), as the bunnies clearly lacked a Hulkbuster. Paradise was also midly useful.
RUCCI, Ekko and Rozay combined to go 6-30 as only Dare dared to dream(win) with a 12-10.
Rozay didn't know he was playing subspace, he was fighting off an army of invisible spiders crawling up his arms and happened to hit the CTRL key a few times stealing wifi from the mcdonalds next to his crack house.
HOT: Aprix
HOT: Hulk
HOT: Dare
NOT: Ekko, Rozay, RUCCI triumvirate
cloud vs. pure luck
50-37
TPZ continued his TWDT-J dominance with a roaring 13-5, as Subspace Hall of Fame legend Stayon dropped a silky smooth 14-7 to seize the day.
Hellkite redeemed himself with a 15-10, but it wasnt enough as Ardour and Tiny negged, and YOGI pulled a Homer and nabbed the first donut of the season with a 0-10.
Ease gets PTSD every time he sees Yogis name from seeing him land on his team in MMR.
Creature 2-7 subbed out was not the comeback he was hoping for I'm sure.
HOT: TPZ
HOT: Stayon
HOT: Hellkite
NOT: Creature
terrorist vs stray
50-47
Dreamwin kept up the torrid pace with a 13-8, leading Hurricane and Uprise with 12 and 11 kills respectively as Cig Smoke's assists kept aiding in the victory.
Stray was solid with Hellz, Roi, and Banzi going +, but Spectacular negged despite only playing jav 8 hours a day and having a printed copy of Steadman's Jav Guide laminated on his coffee table.
HOT: Dreamwin
HOT: Hurricane
NOT: Spectacular
Honorary HOT: Cig Smoke (assist man)
power vs. prime
50-39
Skatarius MVP'd for power with a great outing ahead of Zidane, Iron, Jack, and Beam, as Power bullied their way to the #1 seed after Week 1.
Racka (3-10) and Joeses (3-10) were both terrible.
HOT: Skatarius
HOT: Iron Survivor
HOT: Spawnisen
NOT: JOESES
NOT: Racka
BASE
power vs. cloud
15-7
Power's reign across all 3 leagues remained unchecked, as they clobbered Cloud covincingly.
A minor diatribe on TWDT-B's frontrunner (skip if not a baser):
Brethal/skatarius combo is also as good as the Turban/skatarius combo, and it's hard to see anyone beating this team. Best spider lag duo, best shark, solid 2nd shark (unless Genx chooses to play selfishly to stand out and bomb every play like he did on my team 2 seasons ago then do color commentary live while sharking semi-finals like an anti-social trashcan human being ruining your teammates season. Honestly I've won too much to care about losing DT-B seasons that much, but that might actually be the cringiest thing I have ever seen anyone do in SS, especially when you're an 8* shark and don't have the multi-tasking ability to shark (which is very hard on its own) and cast. He's a good shark and good value when playing properly but I can't believe zid picked him again after that shit.)
Zizu has played solidly the last few years as the collective IQ of players remains too low to figure out he keeps porting flag and going to the ear for a big warp and everyone in the audience goes "WOWW!!!!" as retard teams (like Evil) continue to overcommit and give him and easy out to switch sides, so he remains effective in terr and has cut down on all the mistakes that have cost his team championship after championship over 20 years. He still can't seem to carry or win in Basing Cup or TWDT-B, and is a constant letdown in a league where being a 10* terr is actually harder than being a TWLB terr much of the time. Given that he's failed as a 9* and 9.5*, its a taller task now that he's a 10*, but skatarius/turban proved they could carry him, so why not skatarius/brethal?
Zizu's 29-1 a good safe score with his spids +100, as brethal and skat ran people over and zid/genx did good stuff in shark.
Cloud, meanwhile, had a god-tier performance from Mikkiz with a 46-3 on the losing side -- truly impressive stuff, when your spids are -100 that's basically un unplayable game in terr and mikkiz will be aggro if he can be, so he didn't rec here... just plain amazing.
Mythril and TPZ didnt get it done, TPZ can't shark fyi... make a trade if you want a shot this season, or find a new shark in FA or on your roster, TPZ can handle spid at the dt-b level but nothing else.
Stayon and 4 people from pub in spider is untenable... RIP stayon, honestly a basing war crime making a 6x TWLB champion play with 4 oscar the grouches in the green ship man, he is literally playing with trash.
HOT: Mikkiz
HOT: Brethal/Skatarius
HOT: Zizu
HOT: Zidane
NOT: TPZ/Mythril
NOT: Luidae/poube/ravage/azzaz (Who?? WTF?!)
Fix your shit Mythril.
bunnies vs. terrorist
15-10
Spartan went 300 on terrorist, dropping a 120-48 to lead his team to victory.
Hulk found himself in spider, which is rare, but the 2x TWLB spider champion didn't miss a beat.
Paradise and... SPrackle on alias? i dont know the names or follow dt, im guessing that Asperger-adjacent jumble of neurons is "1 week show rate" rated 9* in shark (fix the images for the teams on the website you scatterbrained bowl of spaghetti, half of them are off-center).
Terrorist saw strong play from zizzo in terr with a 34-4, one of the most underrated dt-b terrs of all-time and has whole seasons looking like prime Mikkiz, but it wasnt enough and the inferior aprix (25-5) won the day.
Despite an extremely strong spider line of Dreamwin, Lockdown, Frozen Throne, and Henry Saari... DW's team had massive shark problems and struggled to find the right balance. I'm sure they'll figure it out by playoffs and we'll have ourselves another classic Power vs. Terrorist final.
HOT: Zizzo
HOT: Paradise
HOT: Spartan/Hulk
NOT: Dreamwin (shark)
NOT: Henry Saari (probably, i didn't see the match but when in doubt...)
stray vs prime
15-8
TJ Hazuki, Sarger, and Rasaq proved a lethal trio as they led the charge for Stray, ahead of good sharking from Commodo and to a much, much lesser extent, Zapata.
Hellzno and Banzi seem like a really nice low-star under duo (or Rasaq, doesnt matter -- this looks like an awesomely balanced spider line).
Jackie> is good in terr if not put under too much pressure, and with a strong spider line and Commodo -- one of the all-time great sharks ever in TW -- he likely never will be, except maybe vs. Power. His 40-6 is a good start.
Losing side, Spooked is terrible at this game and nobody can convince me otherwise, just consistently bad decisions at critical moments and an ego that makes him unable to be willing to take advice or learn, he's honestly just unbearable as a personality, i fucking hate people like that. There's a huge delta between being bad and willing to learn and improve and listen, and shitheads like Spooked. Fuck that kid.
JOESES is sadly a very good shark, and good value at 9.5*, but given he's lost 15 straight seasons while costing even less and while sahrking for elite, elite captains on great teams in dt-b, I'm optimistic and hopeful he will continue to flop. Clefairy is not an inspiring partner in shark, they need to upgrade and move Clef to spider where he is very good.
Cripple did his thing with 124 kills to lead all spiders, but it seems even pairing him with Renzi (BEAST!!!) was not enough... sometimes you really need a better 3rd spid. Racka has the makings of that with his improvements the last year and looks like he could be formidable but questions remain about his dedication to base... i truly think he just doesnt enjoy it and so im not super optimistic he'll make it work as a legit 3rd option top.
Shaw and Yogi are so painfully bad, spooked is a nothing, and clef is not good enough to support 3 cripplingly bad players like that in a ship he doesn't main.
I wish any team with Spooked and Joe on it nothing but the worst.
HOT: Commodo
HOT: TJ Hazuki/Sarger/Rasaq
HOT: Jackie>
NOT: Shaw/Yogi
YOGI protecting under is like wearing a slice of swiss cheese as a condom... something Mouse has probably done IRL
pure luck vs. ethereal
15-4
Defending TWDT-B champion terr Tiny (good lord) continues his low-star adventure in terrier, with solid protection from Dwopple and Omega Red, as Creature, Hellkite and Mouse prove to be an elite and fearsome overspid line, while Ardour and Rabbit! seem ok under.
Ethereal... dare is not it in terr... reconsider your life.
Rozay and Ekko in shark... LOL WHAT ARE YOU DOING... also playing with 62*.... did Ekko draft out of a hat like when Peter Griffin was mayor of New Quahog in that Family Guy episode???
"I was a doctor in the before times"
"Everybody picks their job out of a hat"
"It says Village Idiot"
"Oh you're going to love that job"
What an embarrassment of a twdt-b team. Use ekko-location to find where Dr. Frankenstein buried your brain.
HOT: Dwopple/Omega
HOT: Creature/Hellkite/Mouse
NOT: Ekko (for... everything)
ethereal vs. power
1-15
Power decimated Ethereal, as the world's most hapless DTB team continues to Inspector Gadget their way around the flagroom minus that helpful niece who actually does all the crimestopping.
Zizu had a nice 39-0 ace (albeit in +100 conditions once again, nice life), as zidane and genx continued to play well in shark (im guessing zid had a "you either play serious or dont play" speech after the last Power season with him).
Skatarius and Brethal have yet to find their answer in an opponent, although based on the boxscores I'm seeing some pretty nice spider lines that could maybe give them some trouble.
Ekko's team not worth talking about. Cape 16-10 terr but -100 conditions on a joke line... give Zizu/Cape even lines and Cape will smoke him. #Co-Goat
HOT: Zizu
HOT: Zidane/Genx
HOT: Skatarius/Brethal
NOT: Ekko (is there an echo in here?)
terrorist vs. stray
14:57-15:00
Wowza! A 3-second game! As Mattey would say, this was a real slobberknocker.
(Does anyone have video of this game?)
Stray won the day, with Sarger, Hellzno, TJ Hazuki, Banzi and Rasaq -- despite a strong spider line that is nicely balanced -- getting outkilled by 50... Commodo and Zapata were just better, while a slightly more powerful spider line for Terrrorist was marginally undone by sharking issues.
Very evenly matched teams, and given how good Stray looks so far, bodes well for Terrorist long-term despite a 0-2 start.
Jackie 33-5 stayed solid enough for the win, nice work. Zizzo meanwhile was very aggressive with a 53-9, probably 1-2 critical decision-points where being a bit more defensive would have gotten the W, although it's easy to criticize from the bleachers after the fact. Good effort.
Frozen dropped a big 138, while Lockdown and Henry also pumped out 100+.
Coin-flip game. Like Frozen's imaginary bisexual girlfriend in Canada, could go either way.
HOT: Frozen Throne
HOT: Commodo/Zapata
HOT: TJ Hazuki/Sarger/Hellzno
NOT: Hurricane (2.55 RPD... the last time someone failed to repel unwanted advances in this game this badly, the FBI showed up at LF's door asking about lil*piggy)
cloud vs. bunnies
6-15
Spartan once again carried the day, with good sharking and competent terring from Aprix.
Cloud needs to go full FF7 and do a remake, this is uglier than the girls Best pulls from Walmart. Low esteem, jogging pants, and browsing for XL granny panties? Jackpot!
HOT: Spartan
HOT: Aprix
NOT: Mythril
prime vs pure luck
11-15
Tiny is now the top terr in the zone, dropping a 37-5 gem ahead of Omega and Dwop, who continue to play solid.
Mouse, Hellkite, and Creature are lookin' nasty.
Although let's see if the white padding on Mouse's walls holds up all season. It's never too late for an obstreperous Mouse to Chernobyl a team. He has held up and won 3 titles, though, so who knows. May the odds be ever in your favor!
Given that one of the all-time dumbest AND most overly-confident people on the planet is also on the team in Dwopple, sparks could fly. Honest-to-god, nobody in the 25 year history of this game has actively doubled-down repeatedly on the dumbest decisions and actions than Dwopp... it's so mindblowingly frustrating interacting with dunning-kruger morons. Dwopps done alot for the zone so he's not a complete loss like a lot of the other people I can't stand, but man he's just impossible. He's like the main character in Memento he can't absorb any new information or change.
I hope him and Dwopple are at each other's throats and sink PL like the Titanic that it is.
SpookedOne was on the losing team which is no surprise because he's terrible at this game, and Cripple dropping 101 was a drop in the ocean given that this team's line is currently a mess.
HOT: Tiny
HOT: Mouse/Hellkite/Creature
HOT: Dwopple/Omega
NOT: SpookedOne
NOT: Riverside. The only thing Riverside repels is women.
Shoutout to Racka for saving the zone once again and putting this TWDT together and getting 8 teams, you should all be messaging him in-game to show your appreciation. Even to Dwopple and other mentally-challenged mods. Volunteering is so thankless and this is honestly such a dogshit community most of the time, you're such unappreciative cunts its really pathetic (not all of you, but most.)
Game is mostly just bottom-feeding nothings who never help or contribute in any meaningful way, and can't even muster the tiniest fraction of heart to say thanks to the people who make it possible for you to enjoy TWDT.
I can't play this season due to 300ms, but happy to see so many players step up to run leagues (Racka, Beam, Dwopple), code (Qan, Sprackle, Sarger), and cap at the last minute when asked (Ekko, Zapata, Spartan).
Ethereal vs. Power
50-43
Say what you will about vys, but his giant bald head continues to reflect unwanted light into his opponents eyes and he has become, without a doubt, the best TWDT-D regular season player of all-time (His performances in the playoffs have also been really outstanding, but there's a lot more competition for the GOAT at that stage -- wasn't a backhanded compliment, or as Undercut calls them when addressing Missa -- a compliment).
Despite playing 1.5* stars down vys still carried a bunch of fucking dogshit players with a stellar 15-7, and picking him in DT continues to be a winning strategy. Great pick by Ekko, whose decision-making has improved markedly since calling me an overrated 10* terr last year and i double-aced him immediately afterwards in semis.
Speaking of the neophyte capitaine, Ekko also carried with an excellent 16-8, as he works to become the next Racka/Renzi wombo combo in TWDTD with Vys.
Dare and Jz died out 5 minutes before the end with 6-10s and were useless, why nbside domu went 7-8 and was key to victory giving his team a 3v2 man advantage.
Power's side saw a Herculean or Beamulean effort from subspace's resident bridge troll, and while his parents inability to give out hugs has left most of us worse for wear, Power is reaping the benefits of beam's ruthless style and cold-blooded nerves in the heat of battle, as he nearly carried the day.
Iron Slurmvivor had a respectable 11-10 but Brazilian Bender could only bend a girder into an 'L' beam, as Power lost the match. Spuds Mckenzie remains unimpressed, and Iron will have to imbibe more coconuts to power up for the next match.
zidane 4-10 was putrid dogshit, but i'm sure he found a way to blame someone else. zid the type of guy to fart in an elevator with only one other person and look at you like you did it.
Jack was un-jack-like with a 7-10, but everyone loves Jack so we'll give him a pass. Man still riding the tailwinds of his 1972 TWLD title like he's the '08 Celtics.
Draft 6-10, nice guy, but the least clutch player of all-time and if you passed him the ball in an NBA game for a buzzer beater he'd crumple into the fetal position and go catatonic. The Michael Cera of subspace players.
HOT: Vys
HOT: Ekko
NOT: zidane
Bunnies vs. Prime
47-50
Spawnisen (14-9) is the Chris Paul of subspace, he's constantly unavailable and costs you 99.9% of seasons, but if he somehow manages to show and stay healthy he's a multi-ship, multi-talented star player who can win you a championship. He has a long history of showing one week then vanishing in the air like a fart, but he was here Week 1 and carried the day.
Cripple continues to morph into a warbird as he has been one of the best WBs in TWDT for 3 years now, and should really be in a TWLD contender line going forward, if that dogshit league is ever run again (maybe Turban can state 100x he's not playing then join whichever team Skatarius is one for the umpteenth time like the finnish Hannibal Lector he is). Honestly it's more likely Crip wins TWLD than TWLB at this point since he hasnt won it since 2012 almost 12 years ago. His hand-eye coordination is beyond outlier and he has really built up his warbirding acumen.
Racka was sub-optimal in that he submerged his optimal keyboard settings into a vat of acid and chose to play on a guitar hero controller with his feet, based on his piss poor performance dying out first on his team at 9:38. Just because you keep saving the zone doesn't mean i saved a spot for you in my shriveled heart, you coke-snorting Miami shithead. I bet you own like.... 7 white suits, and have pink shirts and wear sunglasses at night and think you're hot shit. I hate you.
REnzi 11-10 good stuff. Pean 3-9, who the fuck is Pean? What a stupid name. If Mattey was here he would tell you what an absolute turd you are and your name is terrible. Change it.
On the losing side, Spartan swallowed some Big Dick Energy drink before the match, dropping a monstrous 18-10 to nearly carry the putrid dogshit team he drafted, cancelling each other out.
Daktacular 9-10 congrats you almost went 1:1 in your only ship.
Paradise 9-10, im shocked this guy showed up, he's more afraid of the moment than Draft and they've played a combined 1.5 TWL seasons in 25 years because their hands shake worse than J-B-Inc on withdrawal (from drugs, or Goddess -- who knows?)
ixador 2-6... good guy but would lose a duel to mr. magoo
HOT: Spartan
HOT: Spawnisen
HOT: Cripple
NOT: Dak (not really the LVP and he's a nice guy, i just watch him play and i lose all faith in humanity his style actually causes cancer he needs one of those cigarette carton warnings plastered on his forehead.)
Pure Luck vs. Stray
31-50
Zapata (14-3) has a long, lifetime history of being a complete and utter dogshit DT cap but he's #2 in the standings and dropping big boy scores in WB so maybe the chiquita banana factory he works at finally paid for his glaucoma medication and he can see properly now.
Sarger (13-6) continues his unabated chasing of Cripple and matching his ascent in Warbird, as Cripple continues to live rent free in sargers head from beating him in the 2007 and 2008 TWLB finals and shit talking him on forums... Sarger is still not over it despite winning title after title and probably has the final line of The Great Gatsby carved on his Igloo in Iceland.
"And as I sat there, brooding on the old unknown world, I thought of Sarger’s wonder when he first picked out the green light at the end of Cripple’s dock. He had come a long way to this blue lawn and his dream must have seemed so close that he could hardly fail to grasp it. He did not know that it was already behind him, somewhere back in that vast obscurity beyond the city, where the dark fields of the republic rolled on under the night.
Sarger believed in the green light, the orgastic future that year by year recedes before us. It eluded us then, but that’s no matter—tomorrow we will run faster, stretch out our arms farther. . . . And one fine morning——
So we beat on, boats against the current, borne back ceaselessly into the past."
F. Scott Fitzgeralds point is that Sarger's butthurt and no amount of winning will fill the hole in his heart dice created 16 years ago. but i'm sure a TWDT-D title in 2023 will patch that right up...
Rasaq with an 11-9 provided good support, while banzi 5-6 looks like a shell of a shell of a shell of his 2002 self in his 'Melo Lakers phase.
Pure LUck had a bunch of neggers minus Tiny, who went 10-10, while field a...
35* Line
Tiny should be the spokesperson for a Glue company because he's been huffing it and capping for years. He probably thinks they went 6-0 and is out sniffing a celebratory gluestick (hopefully not in an elevator with zidane). I am starting to suspect Racka caps him so his own team more likely to make playoffs.
I'm not going to name all the dogshit performances on PL because Tiny set them up to fail. Except Mouse (5-10), who apparently keeps writing novels about me in his dtb previews despite the fact i am not in TWDT, and barely played the last few seasons. The James Harden of SS has burned so many bridges he would have been an asset fighting the germans in WW2 in the Netherlands.
HOT: zapata
HOT: Sarger
NOT: Mouse
(mouse will be happy about the NOT if only because he's next to sarger)
Terrorist vs. Cloud
50-20
Terrorist embarrassed a bunch of actual TWLD warbirds in Mythril, Geio, and Paky Dude while fielding a line with 1 warbird and 4 basers/javs.........
50-20
Not a typo. LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOL.
This might be the worst loss since the '98 Bulls whomping willowed the Jazz in the finals like 80-40. Holy Bagumba!
Lockdown with a Jack (the Ripper, not Jack the washed SS player) -like performance dropping an incredible 15-2. I'm glad he's doing well because when he sees the Phoenix Suns round 2 exit again this year because they have no defense, he's going to need an emotional support bookmark to this boxscore.
Hurricane 9-3, dumbwin 9-4, uprise 9-6, zizzo 7-5... excellent job you Hamas loving terrorists.
Geio 3-10 clearly forgot which multiple personality of his is the one that's good at subspace
Paky Dude 5-10, guy has never won anything but carries himself like he's Deez Nuts, you suck and if anyone surrounded you with a good team in TWLD you'd fold like a lawn chair you absolute cum guzzlin' nobody. 23 years never popped nothing never done nothing quit frontin'.
harder 1-10 was your monitor even on? honestly ive seen lepers with 6 fingers get more kills. uninstall.
HOT: Lockdown
NOT: Geio
NOT: Paky Dude
NOT: Harder
more knots than anchor line. Which is good, because Cloud has no shortage of anchors on their team.
Stray vs. Bunniers
50-46
Stray narrowly edged out bunnies thanks to a shocking 15-9 from Ravage, who likely pulled a Will Ferrell blacking out in Old School to carry his team to the W.
Jessup was a 6-2 power sub, after being a 6-9 power bottom last night. Excellent clutch play.
Sarger 1-7 on the winning team and had his bacon saved by an omelet brain.
Bunnies, good effort, but no prize for finishing 2nd out of 2.
Dak had a svelte 15-10, but MVP (3-10) was particularly dogshit. I'm sure he'll have 9 pages of stats from his dt-b sharking dominance over an 18 month period between 2020-2022 to explain this performance, so we'll have to re-evaluate after looking them over.
HOT: Ravage
HOT: Jessup
HOT: Dak
NOT: MVP
NOT: Sarger
Cloud vs. Ethereal
40-50
Vys continued to shine brighter than every stellar object in the universe except his own forehead, with a superlative 15-7 to once again lead his team to victory.
Jz, Ekko and nbside domu (a name only possible to create while having a stroke) were solid, helping their Main Character vys get the W.
Cloud was literally 2x less pathetic than Game 1, losing 50-40 instead of 50-20.
Hey -- it's progress!
Geio looked like D-Wade on the Redeem Team with a 15-10 -- 5x his previous game's output -- but despite Myth going 1:1 and Paky only being mildly useless, harder (2-10) and poube proved too hard to carry.
HOT: Geio
HOT: Vys
NOT: Harder
Prime vs. Terrorist
50-30
Racka revenged himself on Terrorist like an Isreali F15 Ace, dropping a stinging 14-4 on the hapless Hamas-like terrorists, leading his team to a ruthless 50-30 carpet bombing of their opponent.
The Hague will be making inquiries into this devastation, and Racka may be prosecuted for war crimes.
Beast had a surprising 12-5 as the neurons in his brain fired for the first time since he touched those electrical cables sitting in a puddle, while Cripple remained excellent and Spawnisen steady.
Lockdown 3-10 clearly watched some Bradley Beal highlights before this game, while Uprise (4-10)'s Arthritis rose up against his fingers.
HOT: Racka
HOT: Beast
NOT: Lockdown
Power vs. Pure Luck
50-24
Scrooge's Power put the kibosh on Tiny Tim's Pure Luck, as Iron Survivor filed a gargantuan 18-5 performance through his tin can/coathanger/chicken coop wire mangled internet cable that somehow reaches the continental united states.
Beam stayed red hot like an Oddysey putter and smoked PL like a juicy ham with a sizzlin' 13-4.
Draft Zizu Jack were good but not great.
Tiny's team was hopeless, and Lifetime Achievement Award recipient for 10* attitude 7.5* skill Ardour put in a typical 5-10 to round out a career devoid of accolades.
Hellkite was particularly terrible with a 2-10. Omega little better.
HOT: Iron Survivor
HOT: Beam
NOT: Hellkite
NOT: Ardour (you were never good at this game in any era and your contributions to SS are incredibly minor. write me a novel i won't read in the comments, please and thank you!)
JAV
Stray vs. Power
30-50
Stray shit the bed and got pounded harder than Lana Rhodes in Drill Sergeant 2: Obey Your Cummander (the sequel just doesn't have the original's tight script... or tight anything)
Zidane (11-5) and beam (12-10) led a balanced effort as Iron, Jack, and Skat also chipped in (the latter 3 having a combined 890 Ping, or the same amount of Pings as the city of Shanghai).
Roiwerk 5-10 couldnt lead his team to victory despite his bombs apparating like Dumbledore half an inch from your ship and undodgeable, and sure enough the losing team features Spectacular, one of the most spectacularly mediocre 1-shippers of all time who has somehow managed to be less impressive than the standard-bearer of jav mediocrity (Ardour).
HOT: Zidane
NOT: Roiwerk
NOT: Rasaq
Prime vs. ethereal
50-28
Prime curbstomped Ethereal like they were in American History X, and Beast 14-6 looks like he might have that demon from The Exorcist inhabiting his body because someone that bad at subspace for 20 straight years shouldnt be this good.
Racka 13-4... Racka the type of guy to reach out and ask you to write Hot or Not after putting up a bunch of good scores and saying "do it for the good of the zone" with a straight face. Absolute Miami Heat fake fan turd, guy probably thinks Udonis Haslem is still on the team -- if he ever knew who Udonis Haslem was in the first place, which he doesn't. Everyone from Florida is the human equivalent of an unwashed white wifebeater.
Cripple was also a star in jav somehow, guy is bringing back crazy DT value despite having the language skills of a toilet gator. No surprise he is also a shithead from Miami like Racka.
JOESES 5-9 on the winning team continues his 1-ship shitter lifetime status who mains a ship that doesnt require aim, i hope he finally wins TWDT-B and gets his first title without the bicycle training wheels of being either A) a low-star B) Skatarius/Turban being 12-0 in their last 12 TWLB playoff games regardless of teammates and carrying him. Absolute trashcan personality too, if he was dying of thirst I wouldn't piss on him.
Ethereal, meanwhile, was so bad I'm putting their whole team into Witness Protection and hidding their names. Except Dare (3-10). Hi Dare! <3
HOT: Racka
HOT: Beast
NOT: JOESES
NOT: Dare
bunnies vs. Cloud
36-50
Mythril (11-5) led his team to the win, alongside TPZ (12-4), who was sublime in jav, finding his 2019 form again after pming his caps "dont add me to jav" like a cartoon tortoise.
Mikkiz nice 11-9, Stayon 8-8 support. Good stuff.
Losing team: Dak 10-10 only good score, SPartan 3-10 yikes.
HOT: Mythril
HOT: TPZ
NOT: Spartan
pure suck vs. terrorist
42-50
Winningest TWDT Captain of all time (source: Dreamwins sig) Dreamwin led his team to victory with a 13-10, aided by fellow Finnish Personality-of-a-block-of-ice (tied with entire country of Finland) Zizzo, Huricane, and Lockdown. Hype man Cig Smoke was there getting mad assists which didnt show up the on the scoreboard, but i know his heart <3
Tiny was good with 13-10 but not enough, while Creature returned to the game with an 11-10 while on 0 chats because he's a sensitive soul. He just pms Ease and they're basically Gollum's split personality talking to each other. Thunder turds.
Oh and Hellkite (3-10) was a human poopsicle. I love you but you were terrible today. Try playing with your fingers instead of banging your head on the keyboard like JAMAL says you do.
HOT: Dreamwin
HOT: Tiny
NOT: Hellkite
ethereal vs. bunnies
26-50
Aprix (14-3) put in his first good game since 2003, when he was touted as an up-and-coming rookie on the rise (he rose about as much as a 75 year old without ED pills), helped by a ferocious Hulk (11-3), as the bunnies clearly lacked a Hulkbuster. Paradise was also midly useful.
RUCCI, Ekko and Rozay combined to go 6-30 as only Dare dared to dream(win) with a 12-10.
Rozay didn't know he was playing subspace, he was fighting off an army of invisible spiders crawling up his arms and happened to hit the CTRL key a few times stealing wifi from the mcdonalds next to his crack house.
HOT: Aprix
HOT: Hulk
HOT: Dare
NOT: Ekko, Rozay, RUCCI triumvirate
cloud vs. pure luck
50-37
TPZ continued his TWDT-J dominance with a roaring 13-5, as Subspace Hall of Fame legend Stayon dropped a silky smooth 14-7 to seize the day.
Hellkite redeemed himself with a 15-10, but it wasnt enough as Ardour and Tiny negged, and YOGI pulled a Homer and nabbed the first donut of the season with a 0-10.
Ease gets PTSD every time he sees Yogis name from seeing him land on his team in MMR.
Creature 2-7 subbed out was not the comeback he was hoping for I'm sure.
HOT: TPZ
HOT: Stayon
HOT: Hellkite
NOT: Creature
terrorist vs stray
50-47
Dreamwin kept up the torrid pace with a 13-8, leading Hurricane and Uprise with 12 and 11 kills respectively as Cig Smoke's assists kept aiding in the victory.
Stray was solid with Hellz, Roi, and Banzi going +, but Spectacular negged despite only playing jav 8 hours a day and having a printed copy of Steadman's Jav Guide laminated on his coffee table.
HOT: Dreamwin
HOT: Hurricane
NOT: Spectacular
Honorary HOT: Cig Smoke (assist man)
power vs. prime
50-39
Skatarius MVP'd for power with a great outing ahead of Zidane, Iron, Jack, and Beam, as Power bullied their way to the #1 seed after Week 1.
Racka (3-10) and Joeses (3-10) were both terrible.
HOT: Skatarius
HOT: Iron Survivor
HOT: Spawnisen
NOT: JOESES
NOT: Racka
BASE
power vs. cloud
15-7
Power's reign across all 3 leagues remained unchecked, as they clobbered Cloud covincingly.
A minor diatribe on TWDT-B's frontrunner (skip if not a baser):
Brethal/skatarius combo is also as good as the Turban/skatarius combo, and it's hard to see anyone beating this team. Best spider lag duo, best shark, solid 2nd shark (unless Genx chooses to play selfishly to stand out and bomb every play like he did on my team 2 seasons ago then do color commentary live while sharking semi-finals like an anti-social trashcan human being ruining your teammates season. Honestly I've won too much to care about losing DT-B seasons that much, but that might actually be the cringiest thing I have ever seen anyone do in SS, especially when you're an 8* shark and don't have the multi-tasking ability to shark (which is very hard on its own) and cast. He's a good shark and good value when playing properly but I can't believe zid picked him again after that shit.)
Zizu has played solidly the last few years as the collective IQ of players remains too low to figure out he keeps porting flag and going to the ear for a big warp and everyone in the audience goes "WOWW!!!!" as retard teams (like Evil) continue to overcommit and give him and easy out to switch sides, so he remains effective in terr and has cut down on all the mistakes that have cost his team championship after championship over 20 years. He still can't seem to carry or win in Basing Cup or TWDT-B, and is a constant letdown in a league where being a 10* terr is actually harder than being a TWLB terr much of the time. Given that he's failed as a 9* and 9.5*, its a taller task now that he's a 10*, but skatarius/turban proved they could carry him, so why not skatarius/brethal?
Zizu's 29-1 a good safe score with his spids +100, as brethal and skat ran people over and zid/genx did good stuff in shark.
Cloud, meanwhile, had a god-tier performance from Mikkiz with a 46-3 on the losing side -- truly impressive stuff, when your spids are -100 that's basically un unplayable game in terr and mikkiz will be aggro if he can be, so he didn't rec here... just plain amazing.
Mythril and TPZ didnt get it done, TPZ can't shark fyi... make a trade if you want a shot this season, or find a new shark in FA or on your roster, TPZ can handle spid at the dt-b level but nothing else.
Stayon and 4 people from pub in spider is untenable... RIP stayon, honestly a basing war crime making a 6x TWLB champion play with 4 oscar the grouches in the green ship man, he is literally playing with trash.
HOT: Mikkiz
HOT: Brethal/Skatarius
HOT: Zizu
HOT: Zidane
NOT: TPZ/Mythril
NOT: Luidae/poube/ravage/azzaz (Who?? WTF?!)
Fix your shit Mythril.
bunnies vs. terrorist
15-10
Spartan went 300 on terrorist, dropping a 120-48 to lead his team to victory.
Hulk found himself in spider, which is rare, but the 2x TWLB spider champion didn't miss a beat.
Paradise and... SPrackle on alias? i dont know the names or follow dt, im guessing that Asperger-adjacent jumble of neurons is "1 week show rate" rated 9* in shark (fix the images for the teams on the website you scatterbrained bowl of spaghetti, half of them are off-center).
Terrorist saw strong play from zizzo in terr with a 34-4, one of the most underrated dt-b terrs of all-time and has whole seasons looking like prime Mikkiz, but it wasnt enough and the inferior aprix (25-5) won the day.
Despite an extremely strong spider line of Dreamwin, Lockdown, Frozen Throne, and Henry Saari... DW's team had massive shark problems and struggled to find the right balance. I'm sure they'll figure it out by playoffs and we'll have ourselves another classic Power vs. Terrorist final.
HOT: Zizzo
HOT: Paradise
HOT: Spartan/Hulk
NOT: Dreamwin (shark)
NOT: Henry Saari (probably, i didn't see the match but when in doubt...)
stray vs prime
15-8
TJ Hazuki, Sarger, and Rasaq proved a lethal trio as they led the charge for Stray, ahead of good sharking from Commodo and to a much, much lesser extent, Zapata.
Hellzno and Banzi seem like a really nice low-star under duo (or Rasaq, doesnt matter -- this looks like an awesomely balanced spider line).
Jackie> is good in terr if not put under too much pressure, and with a strong spider line and Commodo -- one of the all-time great sharks ever in TW -- he likely never will be, except maybe vs. Power. His 40-6 is a good start.
Losing side, Spooked is terrible at this game and nobody can convince me otherwise, just consistently bad decisions at critical moments and an ego that makes him unable to be willing to take advice or learn, he's honestly just unbearable as a personality, i fucking hate people like that. There's a huge delta between being bad and willing to learn and improve and listen, and shitheads like Spooked. Fuck that kid.
JOESES is sadly a very good shark, and good value at 9.5*, but given he's lost 15 straight seasons while costing even less and while sahrking for elite, elite captains on great teams in dt-b, I'm optimistic and hopeful he will continue to flop. Clefairy is not an inspiring partner in shark, they need to upgrade and move Clef to spider where he is very good.
Cripple did his thing with 124 kills to lead all spiders, but it seems even pairing him with Renzi (BEAST!!!) was not enough... sometimes you really need a better 3rd spid. Racka has the makings of that with his improvements the last year and looks like he could be formidable but questions remain about his dedication to base... i truly think he just doesnt enjoy it and so im not super optimistic he'll make it work as a legit 3rd option top.
Shaw and Yogi are so painfully bad, spooked is a nothing, and clef is not good enough to support 3 cripplingly bad players like that in a ship he doesn't main.
I wish any team with Spooked and Joe on it nothing but the worst.
HOT: Commodo
HOT: TJ Hazuki/Sarger/Rasaq
HOT: Jackie>
NOT: Shaw/Yogi
YOGI protecting under is like wearing a slice of swiss cheese as a condom... something Mouse has probably done IRL
pure luck vs. ethereal
15-4
Defending TWDT-B champion terr Tiny (good lord) continues his low-star adventure in terrier, with solid protection from Dwopple and Omega Red, as Creature, Hellkite and Mouse prove to be an elite and fearsome overspid line, while Ardour and Rabbit! seem ok under.
Ethereal... dare is not it in terr... reconsider your life.
Rozay and Ekko in shark... LOL WHAT ARE YOU DOING... also playing with 62*.... did Ekko draft out of a hat like when Peter Griffin was mayor of New Quahog in that Family Guy episode???
"I was a doctor in the before times"
"Everybody picks their job out of a hat"
"It says Village Idiot"
"Oh you're going to love that job"
What an embarrassment of a twdt-b team. Use ekko-location to find where Dr. Frankenstein buried your brain.
HOT: Dwopple/Omega
HOT: Creature/Hellkite/Mouse
NOT: Ekko (for... everything)
ethereal vs. power
1-15
Power decimated Ethereal, as the world's most hapless DTB team continues to Inspector Gadget their way around the flagroom minus that helpful niece who actually does all the crimestopping.
Zizu had a nice 39-0 ace (albeit in +100 conditions once again, nice life), as zidane and genx continued to play well in shark (im guessing zid had a "you either play serious or dont play" speech after the last Power season with him).
Skatarius and Brethal have yet to find their answer in an opponent, although based on the boxscores I'm seeing some pretty nice spider lines that could maybe give them some trouble.
Ekko's team not worth talking about. Cape 16-10 terr but -100 conditions on a joke line... give Zizu/Cape even lines and Cape will smoke him. #Co-Goat
HOT: Zizu
HOT: Zidane/Genx
HOT: Skatarius/Brethal
NOT: Ekko (is there an echo in here?)
terrorist vs. stray
14:57-15:00
Wowza! A 3-second game! As Mattey would say, this was a real slobberknocker.
(Does anyone have video of this game?)
Stray won the day, with Sarger, Hellzno, TJ Hazuki, Banzi and Rasaq -- despite a strong spider line that is nicely balanced -- getting outkilled by 50... Commodo and Zapata were just better, while a slightly more powerful spider line for Terrrorist was marginally undone by sharking issues.
Very evenly matched teams, and given how good Stray looks so far, bodes well for Terrorist long-term despite a 0-2 start.
Jackie 33-5 stayed solid enough for the win, nice work. Zizzo meanwhile was very aggressive with a 53-9, probably 1-2 critical decision-points where being a bit more defensive would have gotten the W, although it's easy to criticize from the bleachers after the fact. Good effort.
Frozen dropped a big 138, while Lockdown and Henry also pumped out 100+.
Coin-flip game. Like Frozen's imaginary bisexual girlfriend in Canada, could go either way.
HOT: Frozen Throne
HOT: Commodo/Zapata
HOT: TJ Hazuki/Sarger/Hellzno
NOT: Hurricane (2.55 RPD... the last time someone failed to repel unwanted advances in this game this badly, the FBI showed up at LF's door asking about lil*piggy)
cloud vs. bunnies
6-15
Spartan once again carried the day, with good sharking and competent terring from Aprix.
Cloud needs to go full FF7 and do a remake, this is uglier than the girls Best pulls from Walmart. Low esteem, jogging pants, and browsing for XL granny panties? Jackpot!
HOT: Spartan
HOT: Aprix
NOT: Mythril
prime vs pure luck
11-15
Tiny is now the top terr in the zone, dropping a 37-5 gem ahead of Omega and Dwop, who continue to play solid.
Mouse, Hellkite, and Creature are lookin' nasty.
Although let's see if the white padding on Mouse's walls holds up all season. It's never too late for an obstreperous Mouse to Chernobyl a team. He has held up and won 3 titles, though, so who knows. May the odds be ever in your favor!
Given that one of the all-time dumbest AND most overly-confident people on the planet is also on the team in Dwopple, sparks could fly. Honest-to-god, nobody in the 25 year history of this game has actively doubled-down repeatedly on the dumbest decisions and actions than Dwopp... it's so mindblowingly frustrating interacting with dunning-kruger morons. Dwopps done alot for the zone so he's not a complete loss like a lot of the other people I can't stand, but man he's just impossible. He's like the main character in Memento he can't absorb any new information or change.
I hope him and Dwopple are at each other's throats and sink PL like the Titanic that it is.
SpookedOne was on the losing team which is no surprise because he's terrible at this game, and Cripple dropping 101 was a drop in the ocean given that this team's line is currently a mess.
HOT: Tiny
HOT: Mouse/Hellkite/Creature
HOT: Dwopple/Omega
NOT: SpookedOne
NOT: Riverside. The only thing Riverside repels is women.
Shoutout to Racka for saving the zone once again and putting this TWDT together and getting 8 teams, you should all be messaging him in-game to show your appreciation. Even to Dwopple and other mentally-challenged mods. Volunteering is so thankless and this is honestly such a dogshit community most of the time, you're such unappreciative cunts its really pathetic (not all of you, but most.)
Game is mostly just bottom-feeding nothings who never help or contribute in any meaningful way, and can't even muster the tiniest fraction of heart to say thanks to the people who make it possible for you to enjoy TWDT.
I can't play this season due to 300ms, but happy to see so many players step up to run leagues (Racka, Beam, Dwopple), code (Qan, Sprackle, Sarger), and cap at the last minute when asked (Ekko, Zapata, Spartan).
Hoping my team shows and does a bit better in jav/base next week. :P
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