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My dick caught fire

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  • My dick caught fire

    The Ultimate Story

    So I was walking through the valley where I harvest my brains, where I came upon none other than Ukyo from the popular anime Ranma 1/2. She said to me "Louiscon, these brains aren't kosher. My pizza... is."

    This, of course, shocked and astounded me. I decided that no longe was I going to harvest the brains of dead ferrets for my own personal gain. I set out to find a new way of making money, hopefully something not involving space pirates.

    I convinced Ukyo to come with me to make money, since it was her fault that I had become morally enlightened. She agreed, but only if she could slap my beautiful bagged face with a pizza every few minutes. Every time she did this, I lost conciousness for a split second and saw my own reflection in a pool of blood. When I came to, I was, of course, in the exact same position I was that split second ago. Split of course implies less-than or equal-to one-half.

    I eventually got the my objective, the Auschwizergraggen tank. My job as an allied eningeer was to blow it up, and hopefully not have to use any of my respawns in the process. I laid a stick of dynamite next to it, then somehow armed it by moving a pliars back and forth a few feet above it, then took off running.

    My only hope now was to get a job in the fast-food industry. I believe it was William Collinsworth who said "If there's one phrase I want my job to include, it's 'would you like fries with that?'"? This is of course, a very noble goal indeed. Unfortunately for me, the day manager at the local burger king was part of the axis, so I had to get a job at McShit'nads, the drow restaurant.

    When I entered, I noticed that Ukyo was already working there, making pizzas full of giant spiders. She noticed I had on my 'rogues do it from behind' shirt on, and said "Ya know who I'd like to have buttsecks with?"
    "ClockLock." I responded.
    "How did you know?" she asked, puzzled.
    "Because we ALL want to have buttsecks with ClockLock. It's human nature. By the way, I'd like a spiderpizza, hold the curse that makes you turn into a giant monstrosity."
    "This isn't Burger King, buddy. You don't have it your way here."

    Discussion: What industry do you want to have a job in, and why?
    The pleasure's all mine.

  • #2
    Who the FUCK is ClockLock?
    Gaian Nakie Day

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    • #3
      acid is fun!
      Originally posted by Tone
      Women who smoke cigarettes are sexy, not repulsive. It depends on the number smoked. less is better

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      • #4
        lolz noobs
        The pleasure's all mine.

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        • #5
          eww

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