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Redneck+Racoon+Electricity=Amputation

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  • Redneck+Racoon+Electricity=Amputation

    Late one March evening, Bruce Thompson woke up at the foot of a utility pole in the woods, his dog asleep by his side, and a crispy, dead raccoon nearby. Thompson realized he had suffered severe burns on his forearms, hands and genitals, which were eventually amputated.
    The details came out in court, when Bruce sued the utility company for removing him from the gene pool.

    He had been out ’coon hunting when his dog “caught the scent” and eagerly chased a raccoon up a power pole. The raccoon perched on a glass insulator. Bruce was prepared for just such an event, and brought out his trusty steel pole climbers. He strapped them to his boots, and made his way a dozen feet up the pole.

    He began “squalling at the raccoon and slapping the pole,” causing the startled raccoon to run back and forth on the cross arm, and hit an un-insulated copper wire. That was the last thing Bruce remembered before he woke up at the bottom of the pole.

    The court found Bruce contributory negligent, stating succinctly, “It [is] clear that, in climbing the utility pole, slapping and squalling at the raccoon, thereby agitating it when it was perilously close to charged wires, Thompson should have appreciated the hazard that ultimately befell him.”

  • #2
    Too long to be funny.
    this is a dated signature

    FREE GHB, PH
    (:3=

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    • #3
      Whatever will you do when you're required to read more than a flyer?

      Anyway, considering he was raccoon hunting in the first place suggests he should have been removed from the gene pool long ago. If you're that stupid that you chase one up a power pole, you don't deserve to breed.

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      • #4
        Originally posted by Rudy
        If you're that stupid that you chase one (Raccoon) up a power pole, you don't deserve to breed.

        ^
        lol... exactly... :P
        AcidBomber <ER> ^-^

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        • #5
          haha its funny how he used the term "gene pool"
          thread killer

          Also who changed to pw to Squadless, how am I supposed to fly the banner of sucking at the game

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          • #6
            We do that all the time here. Not joking.

            Justin's dad holds the "ouch" record. He fell off and broke his neck. He calmy got up, pushed me and Justin into the backseat (mind you, we were like 8), and held his head up as he drove to the hospital.

            Perhaps that's why I am like I am now.

            Coincidentally, Justin's dad was shot down during Vietnam, then shot down when he was on the rescue helicopter. So yeah, he probably was jaded enough to pull a stunt like that.
            NOSTALGIA IN THE WORST FASHION

            internet de la jerome

            because the internet | hazardous

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