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How to install Windows XP in 5 hours or less - Probably old
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# Boot screen. Choose between “Windows XP Professional” and “Windows XP Professional". Brilliant. Pick one. The wrong one. Boot into fucked Windows XP install. Hard reboot. Pick the right one. Make mental note to hack boot.ini later.
“Welcome to Windows XP. You have no useful programs and no internet access. You have 30 days left for activation. Would you like to activate now?” Yes, I would, but I have no internet access.
“This driver may anally rape your mother while pouring sugar down your gas tank.” OK.
Install Mozilla. Yes, I would like to make you my default browser. The world is happiness and glee.
“30 days left for activation!” Click. Yes, I would like to activate Windows over an active internet connection, now that I have one. No, I would not like to register with Microsoft. Yes, I have read the privacy statement and agree to give up my computer, my civil rights, and my first-born child. I wasn’t using my civil rights anyway.
# Don’t beep on errors.
# Disable combo box animation.
# Disable cursor shadow.
# Disable list box animation.
# Disable menu animation.
# Disable menu fading.
# Disable menu selection fading.
# Disable mouse hot tracking effects.
# Disable tooltip animation.
# Disable tooltip fade.
# Disable window animation.
# Don’t optimize hard disk when idle.
# Don’t show Help on Start menu.
# Don’t show Recent Documents on Start menu.
# Don’t allow web content to be added to the desktop.
# Clear document history on exit.
# Disable smooth scrolling.
# Don’t maintain document history.
# Don’t maintain network history.
# Don’t manipulate connected files as a unit.
# Don’t prefix “Shortcut to” on new shortcuts.
# Don’t show Links on Favorites.
# Don’t show My Documents on Start menu.
# Don’t show My Pictures on Start menu.
# Use Classic Search in Explorer.
# Use Classic Search in Internet Explorer.
# Don’t use intuitive filename sorting.
# Do use Tab to navigate Autocomplete.
# Hide places bar in common dialogs.
# Disable balloon tips in Taskbar and Start menu.
# Don’t show any desktop icons.
# Disable all document templates.
My all time favorite steps, dude, this is fucking hilarious hahahahahaha
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