Hey Asian guys, got a question.

[Liquid Blue]

I didn't know there was one "most-appealing" interracial couple. Is it necessarily racism that makes you "twitch" on first sight though? Can you blame the media, family, and societal norms for instilling them in you, or is it just cause you're not used to it yet. Interracial couples, although more common now than a decade ago, are still not as mundane as let's say, apples and bananas.

Well I figured from talking to various people and seeing couples, that usually black/white couples are the most frowned upon, and that *I*, in my experiences, haven't seen alot of negative backlash when it came to black/spanish. I'mnot spanish, so maybe it's mostly on that side, but I don't hear black women or men complaining about spanish/black relationships. I don't " twitch" when I see interracial couples, I saw an asian guy twitch and it led me to making this topic.

[dchao]

Kim's right.

The stereotypical view of the asian male in North America is one of 2:

1) Geeky, wears glasses, studies at the library all the time, good at math.
2) Spiky hair, drives a souped out Civic, poses with Dragonball stances in all pictures, tries to act cool but isn't really cool at all.

While these views do have some basis in reality as all stereotypes, what they do is negatively create an image of asian males as basically 'people who aren't cool are big nerds and have no business being around any female'. Such views undermine asian males in getting any female outside of asian females (who being asian themselves know better than to blindly accept the stereotypes).

Stereotypes aside, the asian conception of beauty is different from the western conception of beauty. The asian bodytype simply just isn't what is considered good (thin, short) for males. This as well undermines asian males living in North America and severly limits the females that would even consider going out with them overall. Again asian females are an exception to this rule because they are generally even thinner and shorter than asian males.

Ignoring all other problems of asians not usually being religious, asians having a different culture, and hidden racism in searching for a mate, asian males have a severely limited pool of people to date. Thus you have a problem where asian guys are at the bottom of the pecking order in North America. While obviously some asian guys are blessed to date whomever they want, when was the last time you saw asians dating beautiful blondes? It just doens't happen.

The fact is, asians are left with asians. The problem is, asian females don't suffer the same kind of consequinces in North America. They are seen as exotic by males, and since guys generally want smaller girlfriends anyway, their size isn't a problem and in many ways in a society obsessed with thinness, the asian bodytype for girls fits in quite well.

So the problem is, the asian females tend to date away from just asians a LOT more than asian guys, thus leaving many asian males with very little if anything at all.

That's why whenever asian males see asian females dating white guys, we don't like it too much. I'm sure if we had the same opportunities to date white girls as the girls do white guys then there'd be no problem.

hi i'm Dennis Chao



and here's my gf

[Facetious]

my girlfriend would be creeped out if i posted pictures of her on the tw forums

[Liquid Blue]

good thing she doesn't exist.

[NaiLed]

Looks like we have something in common.

"you have slept with both of my sisters. you know what that means? we both have something in common"

[RATTY...]

Kim's right.

The stereotypical view of the asian male in North America is one of 2:

1) Geeky, wears glasses, studies at the library all the time, good at math.
2) Spiky hair, drives a souped out Civic, poses with Dragonball stances in all pictures, tries to act cool but isn't really cool at all.

So are you 1 or 2 Epi?

I think it all comes to looks and personality in the end. (atleast here).

[Epinephrine]

Neither really, that's why stereotypes are stupid.

[project dragon]

damn those banana girls

[Blanke]

So are you 1 or 2 Epi?

I think it all comes to looks and personality in the end. (atleast here).

Isn't that what we were just talking about? Anyways, that's what people look at other people first, then they get to know each other.

I'm neither of those two stereotypes. Is there one inbetween? I'm sort of white-washed but I'm not on the weak/scrawny/geeky side nor am I on the "asian pride 4ever biatch" side. I'm more reserved than anything.

I don't think I twitch either, or feel a sense of betrayal.

Liquid Blue, I was talking to a friend at a track meet one day--he's black by the way, this will clarify something later (i'm not saying it just so i can seem "nonracist" or whatever)--and we were talking about what we liked in girls. I ended up saying that I don't really like African Americans much, and he called me racist. But after a few minutes of arguing and I say something about how I don't really like skin that dark, he said "oh" and all the racist accusations ceased.

Hmmm, it actually sounds racist right now still now that I'm reading it.

But he told me that he didn't like girls that were too dark sooooo yeah.

What's your take on this?

[Liquid Blue]

Are you asking if I don't like girls to be too dark, or are you asking if I think it's racist to talk about it like that? I'll answer both to cover all bases.

- I haven't dated a black girl with really dark skin yet, they usually are around the same tone as me. I'm not really into super dark black chicks, like midnight black and blacker than my nike's black. Given the opportunity I wouldn't have a problem dating one, but I usually go for black chicks around my skin tone, maybe a little darker (mahogany is the darkest tone I can recall crushing on). To take a random guess, I'd have to say it's because most dark, dark skinned girls here are not as attractive (in terms of facial symmetry/features) as the black girls closer to my skin tone.

- I don't think it's racist to say you don't find them attractive, the media hasn't exactly instilled upon people that dark skinned women are attractive. I'm not just talking about the US, but all over for the most part. Black women, like asian guys (maybe a little less), are usually not portrayed as potential sexual partners on tv and in movies. They are usually not shown as desireable, or as feminine as white/spanish/asian girls. Let's face it, usually they are portrayed as bitchy, loud ignorant women with trashy clothes and lots of attitude. Not always the case, but for the most part that's how alot of movies and tv shows (news included) have shown them. On average, you're going to find alot more men (race/location, doesn't matter) will be attracted the most to blonde women with big tits and nice legs/small tight asses. Some might go for the exotic asian delight, as well as a few might enjoy the redhead or classy brunette more. It's not really your fault (if you could even call it that) who you're attracted to, that is largely determined by the media, your peers ideal qualities in a woman, and natural instinct. Big breasts and curvy/wide hips = good child bearing, healthy mate. You know the drill.

Hope I didn't bore you with that

[Blanke]

thanks

Nope, you didn't bore me. It's always good to have another man's opinion.

Now, I have been attracted to Black girls before, but like you say, the media and the fact that I attend a small school where about 90% of the people are white influence whom I'm attracted.

I was always watching for the Asian breakthrough too. Not many asians are doing well in the cinemas, with the exception of Jackie Chan and Jet Li due to their crazy martial art skills, but there are ones who have "brokenthrough" the lines and invaded the movies. Harold from Harold and Kumar anyone? Also, I'm ashamed that I don't know this, but the sensei from Karate Kid, Mi..something. Sorry, sir. There used to be a gorgeous Korean? girl on Disney, but I noticed that she never had the lead role in any of the shows, except for maybe one.

Such is life.

[Liquid Blue]

Mr, Miyagai, was it? But yea, I agree with you. It's hard for some races to break out of stereotypes, like maybe have some asian male leads in romantic comedies instead of martial art movies all the time, or god forbid a heroic white lead/black girl relationship in a major motion picture. There probably are a few of the ones I'm mentioning and more, but not enough to really break the mold.

[Arikel]

There could be a number of factors behind that guy's reaction, not just a feeling of racial treachery.

Culturally, Western society has made the Asian female seem exotic, almost like a fetish. At the same time, Asian males are almost desexualized. Just take a look at examples from film, like Romeo Must Die. The title implies a Romeo and Juliet theme of lovers from opposing factions. The film does feature two characters, Jet Li's and Aaliyah's, who are from opposing gangs, but there's no romantic connection. Throughout Hollywood history, Asian men are rarely presented in a sexually masculine way. There are rarely any mainstream films in which the Asian guy gets the girl. The only example I can think of is Harold and Kumar Go To Whitecastle, but that film was all about playing on racial types and twisting them around anyway. Take a look at some of the more recognized Asian celebrities in western culture: Jackie Chan, Jet Li, Chow Yun Fat and Lucy Liu. Of the men, only Chow Yun Fat has that romantic leading man kind of image, but his few western roles don't reflect upon them much. Jackie Chan and Jet Li however don't have that romantic or sexual appeal. Compare these to Lucy Liu and you'll see how much of a difference there is. Seeing Lucy Liu in a Maxim photo shoot isn't that big a deal, but try imaginine Jet Li in a similar shoot for a women's magazine. Age is a factor too. Asian male celebrities tend to be older. You don't have the young Asian male as much as you'll find the young Asian female.

The result of this cultural sexualization and de-sexualization is that it becomes easier for an Asian woman to attract a non-Asian man, and at the same time, harder for an Asian man to attract a non-Asian woman.

Another factor, affecting Chinese Asians moreso than others, is how they culturally view themselves. China has long had an isolationalistic history, shutting themselves off from other cultures. Traditionally, the Chinese word for "human" or "person" referred only to Chinese people. That's why in many Chinese dialects, the word for White people can be loosely translated as "ghost" or "spirit" or even "demon". Chinese culture has long been very xenophobic. It's not really as hateful as it sounds though. Part of it has to do with how China has stood against outsiders in the past. One of the peculiarities about Chinese history is that, though it has been conquered by outside forces several times in the past, almost invariably, the invaders wind up being the ones who get integrated into Chinese (or more specifially, Chinese Han) culture, not the other way around as logic dictates.

Another theory is more about gender than race. The way a lot of Asians view interracial coupling is that when a White man is with an Asian woman, he's got a fetish for Asians and she's a sexual object. When an Asian man is with a White woman, he's managed to achieve something, and, again, she's a sexual object.

My parents have told me that they don't mind if I wind up with a non-Chinese girl. In fact, they expect that to happen more likely than my finding a Chinese mate. Part of that has to do with immigration patterns. More recent immigrants to North America (and their off-spring) are more likely to stick within their cultures, while immigrants from the 70s or 80s (and their kids) are more likely to mix. That's because when earlier immigrants came over, there wasn't as much of an Asian presence. In the last two decades however, immigration has ballooned and there's a larger infrastructure for Asian culture. There's not as much of a need to adapt or become "westernized". As a result, children from earlier waves of Asian immigrants, like myself, grew up "White", as it were. That's not to say that children of more recent immigrants won't either. They just have more options available to them. Of course, I'm speaking as a person growing up in multi-cultural Toronto. Different areas with different demographics and Asian populations will be at different stages of the same process, so someone who is Asian growing up in say, Newfoundland, would culturally grow up the same as an Asian child in Vancouver in the 80s.

Well here in Portugal we have a growing Asian comunity due to the fact that we still had the administration of a chinese city called Macau untill the year 2000.
From my personal experience asian boys tend to be way more reserved about their lives then most white and black boys.
At the gym that i go to i've met an Asian guy wich has a very well built and tonificated body... not the kind of huge muscles "he is a bit sexy to i wont hide it -_- ". Well besides that, me and my friends have already convinced him to go out to the club with us 3 times and he still hasn't talked to us about any of his life... all he talks about is anime, cars, some crazy martial art i dont know the name, and his computer science teachers...... since we know him for quite a lot of time "we frequent the same gym for quite some months now" me and my friends decided to know him a little better but he seems to be a really shy person... he rarelly talks about himself adnhe seems to be a really self centered person who doesnt know how to get himslef more loose and confortable with his friends "sorry ". In my highschool i also knew an asian guy that was really shy... well he had the biggest mark of the school at math -_- and he seemed the kind of guy that spends all his waking hours studying. I'm not saying that asian guys are all like the above examples, far from that as i don't like to qualify and to amke sweeping generalizations... especially when it comes to persons or group of persons... but from my experience those 2 guys kind of fit in the stereotypical "asian guy".

About the fact influence of hollywood and the media i kind of think it works both ways... not only are we affected by the view of the asian guy that "hollywood" gives us but asian guys also tend to use the "hollywood" type asian guy as a role model...

[Liquid Blue]

Thing is, I don't know of any asian actors that would serve as a role model to asian teenagers. Jackie Chan, Jet Lee? Come on, the characters they portray, or should I say the attitudes of such characters will not land them with women. Too traditional, too polite, too meek. Even if they can kick 85 guys asses, they aren't seen as sexual objects, as sexual partners and thus won't work well as role models if the asian guys want to get laid.

[Blanke]

Arikel, maybe you should meet me :wub:

But seriously, I think many asians aren't outgoing because we may not have people to look towards who are like us and socially "successful."

I have a different problem. I used to be fat some 10 years ago and have almost gotten rid of all of it. After working a part-time job too, I've sort of come out of my shell. I try to say hi to people whenever I can and just have fun.

"fun"

haha

EDIT:I posted this after reading Arikel's, but before LB posted his. Curse you, LB, now I seem redundant and I'm too lazy to change it even though I'll type hundreds more letters :P