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I really liked it. With that being said...
An Open Letter to the Loudmouthed Cooz Sitting Behind Me
Shut the fuck up. No, really, shut your Hot Tamale-eating ass up and just watch the movie. Let me point out a couple of things:
1) The movie is an inanimate object. It could not give a shit less about your existence, or your half-witted commentary for that matter. I don't care how loud you yell "don't follow him!" or "oh no! not again!", the movie will roll on in a linear manner. It is not a Choose Your Own Adventure book.
2) I paid to see said movie. I did not pay to hear your version of it. Do I come to your place? Perhaps when you're all nestled in your $3 chair from the Salvation Army, watching shitty re-runs of "Will & Grace," do I pop up behind your head and scream "DO IT! STICK IT IN HIS BUTT, WILL!"? No, I don't. Why? Good of you to ask. The reason why is that I'm mindful of your space. Plus, I don't have your address.
In closing, you should know better. There are hundreds of people around you. All of them just wanted to watch the movie. Your job is relatively easy: keep shoving Twizzlers into that cum vacuum you call a mouth, and keep quiet. Just watch the movie. It's not that much of a request. Unless your name is Joel Hodgson (motherfuck Mike Nelson), when a film rolls, you should do the world a favor and shut your verb slinger. I hope you choke on those artificially-flavored, preservative-ridden Milk Duds. Die.
Best Friends Forever,
ConcreteSchlyrd
An Open Letter to the Loudmouthed Cooz Sitting Behind Me
Shut the fuck up. No, really, shut your Hot Tamale-eating ass up and just watch the movie. Let me point out a couple of things:
1) The movie is an inanimate object. It could not give a shit less about your existence, or your half-witted commentary for that matter. I don't care how loud you yell "don't follow him!" or "oh no! not again!", the movie will roll on in a linear manner. It is not a Choose Your Own Adventure book.
2) I paid to see said movie. I did not pay to hear your version of it. Do I come to your place? Perhaps when you're all nestled in your $3 chair from the Salvation Army, watching shitty re-runs of "Will & Grace," do I pop up behind your head and scream "DO IT! STICK IT IN HIS BUTT, WILL!"? No, I don't. Why? Good of you to ask. The reason why is that I'm mindful of your space. Plus, I don't have your address.
In closing, you should know better. There are hundreds of people around you. All of them just wanted to watch the movie. Your job is relatively easy: keep shoving Twizzlers into that cum vacuum you call a mouth, and keep quiet. Just watch the movie. It's not that much of a request. Unless your name is Joel Hodgson (motherfuck Mike Nelson), when a film rolls, you should do the world a favor and shut your verb slinger. I hope you choke on those artificially-flavored, preservative-ridden Milk Duds. Die.
Best Friends Forever,
ConcreteSchlyrd
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