Crazy stories from your work

[Cops]

I had a guy come in last week acting all sketchy asking me for something to record his phone conversations when he's not at home, he wanted it to be setup so no one else would know it was there. I was really freaked out by his body movements and what he was saying so I kind of ditched in the middle of the conversation.

I also had a women and a man pull up in their truck to the drive through at a Tim Horton's and throw their coffee at me for no apparent reason other then I added too much sugar to their coffee, I closed the window and told them to fuck off. I know most people would say "woah man, you could have got fired, you can't say that" But fuck them, I couldn't give of a fuck I was 16 and it's not going to make me or break me if i lose my seven dollar an hour job.

I was working a few weekends ago and I had to seat guests to their movie if they request it, it's kind of a stupid idea unless the persons old or blind so I don't mind doing it once in awhile when someone asks for me to do it. I had this old guy fucking push me into a theater, I found him a seat and he was fine. That is until after the movie the guy fucking pushed me out of the way and screamed move at me, he started getting in my face acting like we've never met before. I fucking hate senile senior citizens.

got any?

[Money]

god damn old people

[Riesen]

One time, me and my co-worker were standing outside on a break. Just standing there...A bum comes up to us (this happens a lot) and asks if we have a lighter. We both say no, and he decided to get confrontational.

"Well, what the hell are you doing outside then?"

Us: "Enjoying the night air."

It escalated from there and at one point, the bum said, "I own this government building since I pay taxes. When I find out what it's called, I'm going to have you fired." We gave him our names and the name of the building. Anyway, after a few minutes of us having to tolerate that guy, the security guard called the Capitol Police. They showed up, and out of nowhere, the guy tried to say that my co-worker called him a "n*gger" and a lot of other nonsense. Which he didn't do and we didn't even know his was black since he was actually kind of light skinned. The cops came and arrested him for trespassing and we went on with our "work". I've seen that guy since, only once and he tried to start it again, but I told him to, "just keep fucking walking."

That was a very interesting night. Now, that same co-worker and myself have a little running joke where I'll say, "I believe you called me a cracker." We laugh and laugh.

That kind of stuff actually happens a lot. Surprisingly, the State Capitol Building and the other Departments of the State are in a terrible neighborhood.

[genocidal]

I have a lot actually. With some more time on my hands I'll grace you all with tales from my construction job.

[Ace]

I have a few.

My first job working at Canadian tire, I had one of the cell phones for the store,
and an old lady came up to me and started to explain why welfare has been effected by the price of Kleenex.

At the same job I was sent home on a Friday (I worked a 40 hour week during the week) I was sent home at 10 am to think about what I had done. I was taking the garbage from the lunch room to the garbage compactor, some coffee ground had fallen out of the bag and a co-worker older lady told me to clean up the oil spill I had left in the warehouse. I then told her I hadn't touched any oil at all that day and so she went to the manager to complain that I wouldn't clean up the spill he then pulled me into his office to offer me an early weekend to think about what I had done.

[Mr. Peanuts]

I walked in when 2 managers were fucking over the table in the office.

No shit.

[gran guerrero]

i fell down a ladder screaming workers coommmppp

[Jerome Scuggs]

one time we got this new industrial shredder at a law firm i was working at, advertised as the best

stafford and i planned to test it, try to break it

seriously, we came in and there was a group of 40 year old female secretaries doing the job for us. they got some sheet metal from the floor below us (renovation was happening) and had shoved it in

[Scurvy]

working at a fast food resteraunt give you plenty of crazy stories, but i'm not going to burden you with those. i left Fazoli's at the beginning of the summer to do secretarial work during the summer at the high school i just graduated from. yeah..kick ass job...but i got paid $10/hr and didnt have to do anything so i was ok with it. anyways..i'd always be getting these random phone calls from people complaining about their student's grades and shit. People thought if they sounded angry enough on the phone, they could make a semester of stupidity dissappear. these people were nuts. you also had the old people who called in asking about our new scheduling system. the school recently changed to block scheduling (4 1.5 hour classes per day instead of multiple one hour classes) but they refused to acknowledge it. they keep calling the blocks 'hours' or 'periods.' which i could deal with.

until one morning i was sitting reading my book when i got a phone call. i answer the phone and without any sort of warning i hear a black woman inform me that she "has a few questions about her daughters first period."
i started to snicker, then caught myself when i realized she was serious. obviously she didnt know what she had just said, so i managed to get out "im sorry ma'am i dont think i'm qualified to be helping you with that," and hung up the phone laughing hysterically. the woman called back and i made some other person answer it. luckily i was fairly popular with the permanent secretaries there...and apparently they fuck with people all the time, so it was all good

[Hero*]

last year i was at a shopping store (shoppers drug mart) and i was on my lunch. we gotta wear uniforms...anyways while there, this lady came up to me and asked me if iknew why the price was 4.99 on the bottle but 3.99 on the sticker. I don't even work there but I figured that it was on sale and I told her that. She then flipped on me for not knowing fully. She again started yelling at me for not doing my job correctly. I then told her that I didn't even work there, that I was in school. She then said 'oh, well next time please fukin help me out when i ask you too.' ......what a crazy bitch.

[Hero*]

I was working a few weekends ago and I had to seat guests to their movie if they request it, it's kind of a stupid idea unless the persons old or blind so I don't mind doing it once in awhile when someone asks for me to do it.

why would a blind person go to a movie?

[IKM]

why would a blind person go to a movie?

lol, got'em

[Galleleo]

Actually.. I believe that there are blind people who like to go to movies and stuff, not sure but I think I heard this somewhere.

[Ignominy]

So I worked at a couple haunted houses, doing a lot of different things. One night I'm in this giant clown puppet apparatus that sits on my shoulders and makes me look like 9 feet (3 meters) tall. My usual gimmick would be to sit on my knees and be very still prentending I'm not real, and then pop up and freak people out. Often people would run around the room scared of me, etc. I had this one white lady, she was maybe mid 40's and kinda plump, who I could tell was terrified of clowns. She was all eyeing me suspiciously as she walked by and when I popped up and started menacingly lumbering toward her, she lost it. She ran, and I chased her backwards into the previous room and cornered her. She crumpled to the ground in the corner, and had not stopped screaming the whole time, and I reached my giant puppet hands out at her throat and she lost it. I see a huge wet spot in her pants, and her piss is starting to pool on the floor. I figure she's had enough then, lol, and I had to get back before I stepped in it.
We had to get someone in to clean it up, it stank up the whole area.

There's a lot of funny stories from working at haunted houses, but that is probably the most ridiculous.

[Money]

ROFL ^hahahaha