Worst First Date

[Scurvy]

not a date, but i was once walking down the street with a girl who had had ONE gin & tonic, took one drag on a cig, and hurled all over the steps to a church then felt bad and cleaned it up during rush hour.

[Galleleo]

I'm thinking, you know what, this guy sleeps like a rock, he's fucked me over completely here, I'm hungover, I'm going to have sex with him in the room.

Saved.

[Jerome Scuggs]

first time meeting this one asian chick's parents, oh god

"herro! can i get you some wonton soup wit regetables?!?!"

i started laughing. how awkward

[Nickname]

Oh, just remembered that the day after she saw my white boxer with huge skidmarks. Kthxbai.

$$

[Pummel]

Whats embarrassing is how my parents got me a toilet for a christmas present (this year) because I kept on clogging my old one. This one is pretty good (already installed).

rofl

[Squeezer]

Prom night my senior year, we went over to my friend's house, because his parents were out of town. We had a bunch of tents set up in the back yard for people to sleep in, so my gf and I got us a tent early in the night. Well, after smoking close to an ounce, and being very drunk on 151, we decided to go have sex in our tent. Well, in the middle of it, we started to hear giggling and scratching on the top of the tent. Apparently my drunk/high friends thought it would be a good idea to fuck with us. Because I was so high, I got really scared, thinking that there were some animals trying to get in. When my friends unzipped the flap, I rolled over and took all the blankets and sleeping bags with me.

So, there I am, screaming naked under a bunch of covers and sleeping bags, while my friends silly stringed my naked girlfriend and the inside of the tent. One of my friends was so drunk, that when he opened the flap, he actually fell into the tent and on top of my gf (he was about 6'0 225 lbs, she's 5'3 115). Afterward, we were covered in silly string, and pissed that we weren't able to finish because when word got out people came up to laugh and see what had happened. While they were all laughing and getting more drunk, I was taking off the condom. Sure enough, when I figured out who the mastermind was, I ran up to him and threw my used condom (not full) in his face.

He wasn't very happy in the morning.

[DangerGirl]

Never really had a bad first date that I remember. I do remember like 10 years ago turning down my date when he showed up at the door. My dog went insane and began snapping, barking, and attempting to bite him the minute he tried walking into the house. She'd never EVER bit, snapped, or even barked at anyone before. But this guy, whom was clean-cut and dressed nicely, and seemed to be a decent dude, she refused to allow into the house.

I don't know if anyone believes in the theory that dogs can sense something, but I lived by it that day.

[kthx]

I would have kicked the dog and had sex with you.

[Pandagirl!]

If he was hot I would have kicked the dog.

[Zeebu]

I would have kicked you and had sex with the dog.

fixed

[Jason]

i was in 10th grade at the time, she was in 9th and thus couldn't yet drive. her mom dropped her off at my place and we were going to go out for dinner and a movie, the oh so typical of date routines. she gets out her mom's car at my place, walks up onto the porch and about 30 seconds later proceeds to lean over the railing and yak all over my mom's petunias. apparently she was really nervous about the date, so nervous in fact, that after the vomitting, she told me she was too anxious to go out and needed to go back home and lay down for awhile and i could call her later and maybe come over.

so i'm down with that. i give her a call later. i end up going over. we decide to stay in, crash on the couch and watch some movies. middle of one movie, i think it might've been nightmare before christmas, i lean in to kiss her, figuring it was as good a time as any, only to discover she hadn't brushed her teeeth after the puking incident. yuuuuck!

long story short, i ended up dating this girl for about 3 months. took her virginity and that was pretty much the highlight of our relationship, not the taking of her virginity, but the sex in general. she was freaky.

el fin.