Announcement

Collapse
No announcement yet.

Advice to Young Men from an Old Man

Collapse
X
 
  • Filter
  • Time
  • Show
Clear All
new posts

  • Advice to Young Men from an Old Man

    Saw on another board, needed to show up here-

    Advice to Young Men from an Old Man

    1. Don´t pick on the weak. It´s immoral. Don´t antagonize the strong
    without cause, its stupid.
    2. Don´t hate women. It´s a waste of time
    3. Invest in yourself. Material things come to those that have self
    actualized.
    4. Get in a fistfight, even if you are going to lose.
    5. As a former Marine, take it from me. Don´t join the military,
    unless you want to risk getting your balls blown off to secure other
    people´s economic or political interests.
    6. If something has a direct benefit to an individual or a class of
    people, and a theoretical, abstract, or amorphous benefit to
    everybody else, realize that the proponent´s intentions are to
    benefit the former, not the latter, no matter what bullshit they try
    to feed you.
    7. Don´t be a Republican. They are self-dealing crooks with no sense
    of honor or patriotism to their fellow citizens. If you must be a
    Republican, don´t be a "conservative." They are whining, bitching,
    complaining, simple-minded self-righteous idiots who think they´re
    perpetual victims. Listen to talk radio for a while, you´ll see what
    I mean.
    8. Don´t take proffered advice without a critical analysis. 90% of
    all advice is intended to benefit the proponent, not the recipient.
    Actually, the number is probably closer to 97%, but I don´t want to
    come off as cynical.
    9. You´ll spend your entire life listening to people tell you how
    much you owe them. You don´t owe the vast majority of people shit.
    10. Don´t undermine your fellow young men. Mentor the young men that
    come after you. Society recognizes that you have the potential to be
    the most power force in society. It scares them. Society does not
    find young men sympathetic. They are afraid of you, both individually
    and collectively. Law enforcement´s primary purpose is to suppress
    you.
    11. As a young man, you´re on your own. Society divides and conquers.
    Unlike women who have advocates looking out for them (NOW, Women´s
    Study Departments, government, non-profit organizations, political
    advocacy groups) almost no one is looking out for you.
    12. Young men provide the genius and muscle by which our society
    thrives. Look at the Silicone Valley. By in large, it was not old men
    or women that created the revolution we live. Realize that society
    steals your contributions, secures it with our intellectual property
    laws, and then takes credit and the rewards where none is due.
    13. Know that few people have your best interests at heart. Your
    mother does. Your father probably does (if he stuck around). Your
    siblings are on your side. Everybody else worries about themselves.
    14. Don´t be afraid to tell people to "Fuck off" when need be. It is
    an important skill to acquire. As they say, speak your piece, even if
    your voice shakes.
    15. Acquire empathy, good interpersonal skills, and confidence. Learn
    to read body language and non-verbal communication. Don´t just
    concentrate on your vocational or technical skills, or you´ll find
    your wife fucking somebody else.
    16. Keep fit.
    17. Don´t speak ill of your wife/girlfriend. Back her up against the
    world, even if she´s wrong. She should know that you have her back.
    When she needs your help, give it. She should know that you´ll take
    her part.
    18. Don´t cheat on your wife/girlfriend. If you must cheat, don´t
    humiliate her. Don´t risk having your transgressions come back to her
    or her friends. Don´t do it where you live. Don´t do it with people
    in your social circle. Don´t shit in your own back yard.
    19. If your girlfriend doesn´t make you feel good about yourself and
    bring joy to your life, fire her. That´s what girlfriends are for.
    20. Don´t bother with "emotional affairs." They are just a vehicle
    for women to flirt and have someone make them feel good about
    themselves. That´s the part of a relationship they want. For you it
    is a lot of work and investment in time. If they are having an
    emotional affair with you, they´re probably fucking someone else.
    21. Becoming a woman´s friend and confidant is not going to get you
    into an intimate relationship. If you haven´t gotten the girl within
    a reasonably short period of time, chances are you won´t ever get
    her. She´ll end up confiding to you about the sexual adventures she´s
    having with someone else.
    22. Have and nurture friendships with women.
    23. Realize that love is a numbers game. Guys fall in love easily.
    You´re going to see some girl and feel like you´ll die if you don´t
    get her. If she rejects you, move on to the next one. It´s her loss.
    24. Don´t be an internet troll. Got out and live life. There is not a
    cadre of beautiful women advertising on Craigslist to have NSA sex
    with you. Beautiful women don´t need to advertise. The websites that
    advertise with attractive women´s photos and claims of loneliness are
    baloney. All they want is your money and your personal information so
    that they can market to you. The posts on Craigslist by young "women"
    seeking NSA sex, and asking for a picture are just a bunch of gay
    troll pic collectors. This is especially true if the post uses common
    gay lexicon like "hole" as in "fuck my hole" or seeks "masculine"
    men, or uses the word cock (except in the context of "Don´t send a
    cock shot.") There are women on Craigslist. They are easily
    recognizable by their 2-5 paragraph postings. Most are in their 30's
    or older.
    25. When you become a man in full, know that people will get in your
    way. People who are attracted to you will somehow manage to step in
    your path. Gay guys will give you "the look." Old people will somehow
    stumble in front of you at the worst time. Don´t get frustrated. Just
    step aside and go about your business. Know that these are passive
    aggressive methods to get you to acknowledge their existence.
    26. Don´t gay bash. Don´t mentally or physically abuse people because
    of who they are, or how they present themselves. It´s none of your
    business to try to intimidate people into conformity.
    27. If your gay, admit it to yourself, your parents, your friends and
    society at large. Be prepared to get harassed. See rule 14. If
    someone threatens you or assaults you, call the cops. Have them
    arrested. You have no obligation to self sacrifice because of who you
    are. As a gay person, you´ll have more social freedom than straight
    men. Use it to protect yourself. Be prepared to get out of Dodge if
    your orientation makes your life unbearable. Move to San Francisco,
    New York, Atlanta, or New Orleans. You´ll find a welcoming community
    there.
    28. Don´t be a poser. Avoid being one of those dudes who puts a
    surfboard on top of their car, but never surfs, or a dude with a
    powder coated fixed gear bike and a messenger bag, but was never a
    messenger. Live the life. Earn your bona fides.
    29. Don´t believe the crap about the patriarchy. More women are
    accepted and attend college. More degrees are awarded to women than
    men. Women outlive men. More men commit suicide. Men are twice as
    likely to be victims of violence, including murder. If you consider
    sexual assaults in prisons, twice as many men are raped as women
    (society thinks prison rape is funny). The streets are littered with
    homeless men, sprinkled with a few homeless women. Statically, women
    are happier than men. The myth that girls are being cheated by are
    educational system is belied by the fact that schools are bastions of
    femininity, mostly run by and taught by women. Girls outperform boys
    in school. It is the boys in school getting fucked over, and
    prescribed ritalin for being boys. Real wages for men are falling,
    while real wages for women are rising. Just because someone says
    something enough times, doesn´t make it true. You have nothing to
    feel guilty about.
    30. Remember, 97% of all advice is worthless. Take what you can use,
    and trash the rest.
    My father in law was telling me over Thanksgiving about this amazing bartender at some bar he frequented who could shake a martini and fill it to the rim with no leftovers and he thought it was the coolest thing he'd ever seen. I then proceeded to his home bar and made four martinis in one shaker with unfamiliar glassware and a non standard shaker and did the same thing. From that moment forward I knew he had no compunction about my cock ever being in his daughter's mouth.

  • #2
    The myth that girls are being cheated by are educational system is belied by...
    credibility: 0
    Kthx> Does JB Inc pay his child support with pub bux?

    Undisputed Pre-Menstral Super-Bitch Internet Kickboxing Champion 2005

    Comment


    • #3
      your opinion is so highly valued


      please post more wisdom kind she-whale
      My father in law was telling me over Thanksgiving about this amazing bartender at some bar he frequented who could shake a martini and fill it to the rim with no leftovers and he thought it was the coolest thing he'd ever seen. I then proceeded to his home bar and made four martinis in one shaker with unfamiliar glassware and a non standard shaker and did the same thing. From that moment forward I knew he had no compunction about my cock ever being in his daughter's mouth.

      Comment


      • #4
        10. Don´t undermine your fellow young men. Mentor the young men that
        come after you. Society recognizes that you have the potential to be
        the most power force in society. It scares them. Society does not
        find young men sympathetic. They are afraid of you, both individually
        and collectively. Law enforcement´s primary purpose is to suppress
        you.

        Fuck yes, never thought of this in this way, and it's 100% true.

        Edit:
        I read the entire thing, good stuff.
        Last edited by Noah; 05-03-2007, 04:39 AM.
        Da1andonly> man this youghurt only made me angry

        5:ph> n0ah will dangle from a helicopter ladder and just reduce the landscape to ashes by sweeping his beard across it

        Comment


        • #5
          stop posting internet trolls!
          2:Zung> Does this 2h mean 1h56 min foreplay & 3 pushes & a stare?
          2:renzi> lol no
          2:renzi> would fuck, blowjob/handjob, fuck, finger, etc

          Comment


          • #6
            Ladies and Gentlemen of the class of ’99

            If I could offer you only one tip for the future, sunscreen would be it. The long term benefits of sunscreen have been proved by scientists whereas the rest of my advice has no basis more reliable than my own meandering experience…I will dispense this advice now.

            Enjoy the power and beauty of your youth; oh nevermind; you will not understand the power and beauty of your youth until they have faded. But trust me, in 20 years you’ll look back at photos of yourself and recall in a way you can’t grasp now how much possibility lay before you and how fabulous you really looked….

            You’re not as fat as you imagine.

            Don’t worry about the future; or worry, but know that worrying is as effective as trying to solve an algebra equation by chewing bubblegum.

            The real troubles in your life are apt to be things that never crossed your worried mind; the kind that blindside you at 4pm on some idle Tuesday.

            Do one thing everyday that scares you

            Sing

            Don’t be reckless with other people’s hearts, don’t put up with people who are reckless with yours.

            Floss

            Don’t waste your time on jealousy; sometimes you’re ahead, sometimes you’re behind…the race is long, and in the end, it’s only with yourself.

            Remember the compliments you receive, forget the insults; if you succeed in doing this, tell me how.

            Keep your old love letters, throw away your old bank statements.

            Stretch

            Don’t feel guilty if you don’t know what you want to do with your life…the most interesting people I know didn’t know at 22 what they wanted to do with their lives, some of the most interesting 40 year olds I know still don’t.

            Get plenty of calcium.

            Be kind to your knees, you’ll miss them when they’re gone.

            Maybe you’ll marry, maybe you won’t, maybe you’ll have children, maybe you won’t, maybe you’ll divorce at 40, maybe you’ll dance the funky chicken on your 75th wedding anniversary…what ever you do, don’t congratulate yourself too much or berate yourself either – your choices are half chance, so are everybody else’s.

            Enjoy your body, use it every way you can…don’t be afraid of it, or what other people think of it, it’s the greatest instrument you’ll ever own..

            Dance…even if you have nowhere to do it but in your own living room.

            Read the directions, even if you don’t follow them.

            Do NOT read beauty magazines, they will only make you feel ugly.

            Get to know your parents, you never know when they’ll be gone for good.

            Be nice to your siblings; they are the best link to your past and the people most likely to stick with you in the future.

            Understand that friends come and go, but for the precious few you should hold on.

            Work hard to bridge the gaps in geography and lifestyle because the older you get, the more you need the people you knew when you were young.

            Live in New York City once, but leave before it makes you hard; live in Northern California once, but leave before it makes you soft.

            Travel.

            Accept certain inalienable truths, prices will rise, politicians will philander, you too will get old, and when you do you’ll fantasize that when you were young prices were reasonable, politicians were noble and children respected their elders.

            Respect your elders.

            Don’t expect anyone else to support you.

            Maybe you have a trust fund, maybe you have a wealthy spouse; but you never know when either one might run out.

            Don’t mess too much with your hair, or by the time you're 40, it will look 85.

            Be careful whose advice you buy, but, be patient with those who supply it.

            Advice is a form of nostalgia, dispensing it is a way of fishing the past from the disposal, wiping it off, painting over the ugly parts and recycling it for more than it’s worth.

            But trust me on the sunscreen…

            Comment


            • #7
              I found it out.

              It's Baz Luhrman reading an article some culmnist wrote, with music added.
              http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xfq_A...elated&search=
              Last edited by Noah; 05-03-2007, 07:09 AM.
              Da1andonly> man this youghurt only made me angry

              5:ph> n0ah will dangle from a helicopter ladder and just reduce the landscape to ashes by sweeping his beard across it

              Comment


              • #8
                "Weepy Spam Advice to Gullible People Made Up By A Woman" more like.


                I hate these fucking things, and I curse the internets for making them so easy to perpetuate.

                Here's an idea, instead of going all googly eyed for something you read on a forum, with all the look of an ad trying to enlarge your penis. Try following this advice:

                1. Shut the Fuck Up.
                2. Learn about life your own goddamn self.
                3. Remember that's what living fucking means. Learning. Not the kind you learn from reading a piece of bullshit advice, but by being, and doing.

                Goddamn. Grow a pair, already.
                "Sexy" Steve Mijalis-Gilster, IVX

                Reinstate Me.

                Comment


                • #9
                  Originally posted by Liquid Blue View Post
                  8. Don´t take proffered advice without a critical analysis. 90% of
                  all advice is intended to benefit the proponent, not the recipient.
                  Actually, the number is probably closer to 97%, but I don´t want to
                  come off as cynical.
                  30. Remember, 97% of all advice is worthless. Take what you can use,
                  and trash the rest.
                  ...
                  USS Banana after years of superior jav play has amassed 17999 kills, he is 1 kill away from 18k, Type ?go Javs FOR A GAME OF HUNT (no scorereset) -Kim
                  ---A few minutes later---
                  9:cool koen> you scorereseted
                  9:Kim> UM
                  9:Kim> i didn't
                  9:cool koen> hahahahahahaha
                  9:ph <ZH>> LOOOOL
                  9:Stargazer <ER>> WHO FUCKING SCORERESET
                  9:pascone> lol?

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    Sarien is too tough to take advice from anyone.

                    I DONT NEED ANYONE, IM A BIG BOY NOW AND I CAN TAKE CARE OF MYSELF!

                    Way to show of your tiny e-peen.

                    Edit: Funny comming from the guy that got thrown off his moderator position on the forum by WARK. You hold 0 credibilty as a though guy in these parts.
                    Last edited by Noah; 05-03-2007, 07:57 AM.
                    Da1andonly> man this youghurt only made me angry

                    5:ph> n0ah will dangle from a helicopter ladder and just reduce the landscape to ashes by sweeping his beard across it

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      GOLD!
                      great words of wisdom.
                      ....Life isn't so painful when you can learn from other's mistakes... :fear:

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        Originally posted by Sarien View Post
                        "Weepy Spam Advice to Gullible People Made Up By A Woman" more like.


                        I hate these fucking things, and I curse the internets for making them so easy to perpetuate.

                        Here's an idea, instead of going all googly eyed for something you read on a forum, with all the look of an ad trying to enlarge your penis. Try following this advice:

                        1. Shut the Fuck Up.
                        2. Learn about life your own goddamn self.
                        3. Remember that's what living fucking means. Learning. Not the kind you learn from reading a piece of bullshit advice, but by being, and doing.

                        Goddamn. Grow a pair, already.

                        Dur if you read the list he basically says the same things you're saying.
                        My father in law was telling me over Thanksgiving about this amazing bartender at some bar he frequented who could shake a martini and fill it to the rim with no leftovers and he thought it was the coolest thing he'd ever seen. I then proceeded to his home bar and made four martinis in one shaker with unfamiliar glassware and a non standard shaker and did the same thing. From that moment forward I knew he had no compunction about my cock ever being in his daughter's mouth.

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          Originally posted by Sarien View Post
                          3. Remember that's what living fucking means.
                          "living fucking": the sarien story

                          edit: lb i didnt really like any of that advice either, a lot of it was contradictory
                          5:gen> man
                          5:gen> i didn't know shade's child fucked bluednady

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            Didn't know you guys needed a cliffnotes version

                            1. Don´t pick on the weak. It´s immoral. Don´t antagonize the strong
                            without cause, its stupid.

                            2. Don´t hate women. It´s a waste of time

                            3. Invest in yourself. Material things come to those that have self
                            actualized.

                            4. Get in a fistfight, even if you are going to lose.

                            9. You´ll spend your entire life listening to people tell you how
                            much you owe them. You don´t owe the vast majority of people shit.

                            10. Don´t undermine your fellow young men. Mentor the young men that
                            come after you.

                            14. Don´t be afraid to tell people to "Fuck off" when need be. It is
                            an important skill to acquire. As they say, speak your piece, even if
                            your voice shakes.

                            15. Acquire empathy, good interpersonal skills, and confidence. Learn
                            to read body language and non-verbal communication. Don´t just
                            concentrate on your vocational or technical skills, or you´ll find
                            your wife fucking somebody else.


                            28. Don´t be a poser. Avoid being one of those dudes who puts a
                            surfboard on top of their car, but never surfs, or a dude with a
                            powder coated fixed gear bike and a messenger bag, but was never a
                            messenger. Live the life. Earn your bona fides.

                            30. Remember, 97% of all advice is worthless. Take what you can use,
                            and trash the rest.


                            I couldn't care less how many people don't agree with the list, those are the ones that decided for me to post this.
                            My father in law was telling me over Thanksgiving about this amazing bartender at some bar he frequented who could shake a martini and fill it to the rim with no leftovers and he thought it was the coolest thing he'd ever seen. I then proceeded to his home bar and made four martinis in one shaker with unfamiliar glassware and a non standard shaker and did the same thing. From that moment forward I knew he had no compunction about my cock ever being in his daughter's mouth.

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              1 and 4 made me chuckle.

                              Comment

                              Working...
                              X