Annoying friend situation

[Scurvy]

i thought this was a makes-shift online seinfeld community? Don't you remember the episode where Jerry had to 'break-up' with his annoying friend ('i was a kid. i liked ping pong.)??? It completely blew up, and the guy broke down and started crying in the coffee shop. Jerry had to completely back track and ended up even worse off than he was before, giving him the knicks tickets that were intended for george.

Ok, so maybe its not exactly the same...but i figure no matter how unbearable somebody is, it never really pays to just be mean to them. especially if you dont want to in the first place. Obviously you can't sacrifice your social life for this guy, but dont be a dick about it. Dont be mean just to push him away....either be honest, or put up with him. dont pull any fake shit, that just ends up backfiring.

[Facetious]

sidenote: this kid also has his parents pay for his car insurance and his 800 dollar a month rent so he can take SIX CREDITS at community college, and still manages to talk about how unhappy he is, drives me fucking nuts.

Basically, I think he'd rather deal with me telling him how annoying he is all the time (without stopping being annoying) than not hang out with us. I'm probably going to have to cut him off but I'm going to try to take the high road.

[Fit of Rage]

Six credits at community college? That's pretty pathetic, actually. No wonder he's got so much time to follow you around.

[Money]

ignore his calls, dont call him, sooner or later he will get the hint...maybe

[Cops]

I know this doesn't exactly relate but I've been having some trouble with a friend of mine who I've worked with for over two years. He's 23, he goes to University and still works at a shitty job cleaning theatres. I've had many conversations with this individual, he has exspressed animosity towards his father for not being there, and not just in the way that randomly comes up about your parents, the way in which someone says "yeah my dad fucked up my childhood" which some time seems to be an excuse he resorts to. I believe he likes sympahty, he has gone out of his way to "throw himself" on people, he does not have a great deal of conficene when it comes to women and usually finds himself in meaningless crushes that are ridiculous and redundant. I've tried to set him up, I've also told him that if he starts acting sorry for himself and seeks sympathy when he is on a date that the girl will most likely get annoyed and walk away. He preaches the word of god like its going out of style, I can to some point agree that religion is good for people who 'need' it but he believes every word within the bible. He forces his opinions on people and has little to no discussion on anything that he believes to be 'true' or 'false'.

I've let a lot of shit go, he told my ex girlfriend that I was "dating" someone a few weeks after we broke up, he also chose this time to mention it to her when she was literally three feet away from me. I thought about decking the guy, I should have absolutely destroyed him but I held it in as much as I could. My friend has also had a previous crush on my current girlfriend which makes me feel un-easy, not that I lack faith in my current girlfriend but that I can't trust him nor do I want him hanging around my girlfriend. He has told me and her that he likes other girls, and to some extent I do believe him. But I also think that he's desperate, and he would quite frankly fuck a tree if it showed interest. He goes out of his way to track my girlfriend down at school, he will wait outside
her classes and include himself in any plans that she has. My girlfriend has pulled some elaborate schemes to avoid this individual.

I've done my best, I've invited him to parties, I've introduced him to some friends and even helped him start conversations with people but usually he has this way of slipping out the back door before anyone notices. I've talked to him about this and he has told me that he feels awkward that he is older than everyone else, which isnt a huge deal since he is mostly only two years older than everyone else.

He's a really nice guy sometimes, but I've also come to realize that he is highly depressed and puts on faces. He openly told me that he puts on faces when hes not happy, he says that he hides his emotions. I was a bit concerned so I made some time to talk ato him about this issue. I basically said that I don't think its a great idea to hide your emotions because you might lose the ability to express them, or at the very least this behaviour is causing psychological damage.

As far as your problem goes, I don't man, once you've got an answer that works let me know.

[Freak]

SHOOT HIM


in the head

[Facetious]

When people demand special treatment, generally they aren't going to change if you keep giving it to them. If you feel like he wants your attention because he actually values your advice, keep on like you're doing. If you feel like he just wants your attention because he wants attention, fuck it. I had a really needy friend that I had to let go of recently, because she kept asking my advice just so she could try to convince me that none of her problems were really her fault. I gave her some great advice that would have gotten her out of several binds, and she never took it once. Fuck that, I wasn't helping her, and she was just bringing me down.

The shit with the girlfriend is unacceptable, tell him that you don't feel comfortable with him going out of his way to talk to your girlfriend when you know he had/has a crush on her, and that you really don't trust him with women because of the way he betrayed you with the ex. If nothing else, if he's making your girlfriend that uncomfortable, you've gotta fix that problem even if it's at the cost of your friendship, you owe her more than him at this point.

ps: I don't think repressing your emotions is as drastic as you think it is, if this kid expressed his emotions publicly, he'd never make any friends. He should accept his emotions, but he doesn't have to act sad all the time. When I'm feeling ho-hum, the worst thing I can do is dwell on it, if I go out or play some cards or whatever and distract myself, it's the best medicine.

[Money]

edit: ehhh, iffy. funny part of south park but since you aren't allowed to type it i think you probably can't post that either. - facetious

[Liquid Blue]

oh shit can money get a ban before saturday

the crowd is on the edge of their seats with anticipation

go for gold money, go for gold

[Money]

lol

[Ephemeral]

Taking the 'high road' would means being frank and honest with others.

It also means doing introspective work. Where you just being a ‘fair weather friend’ when you hung with him before? How much of his thinking you guys are friends could be your fault? Are there things you can change about yourself in the future to prevent this from happening again?

[Zeebu]

carry an air horn around wiht you... and every time he starts to talk, just blow it in his face. he'll get the picture soon enough; either that or go deaf

[Ekko]

Haha being the nice guy sucks, I was once in your position.

My circle of friends really turned quite vicious towards this girl and she got the message quick, she wasn't even that annoying. I still talk to her sometimes and being shunned by a group of like 15 people really helped her, I think! Because before that all she did was complain about her crappy life that wasn't very crappy, and now she's fine, we'd probably be good friends if she didn't have a horrible history with everyone else I talked to.

[Money]

carry an air horn around wiht you... and every time he starts to talk, just blow it in his face. he'll get the picture soon enough; either that or go deaf

great idea

[Facetious]

Taking the 'high road' would means being frank and honest with others.

It also means doing introspective work. Where you just being a ‘fair weather friend’ when you hung with him before? How much of his thinking you guys are friends could be your fault? Are there things you can change about yourself in the future to prevent this from happening again?

Is it really the high road to say "Well, I just don't like you, and the best you can do is make yourself somewhat tolerable to be around"? Because that's being honest. I really just don't like this guy at all, and the only reason I'm hesitant to just completely drop him is because I feel bad.

I learned a long time ago that having "charity friends" is a bad idea, but I met this guy a long long time ago. Now, when I meet someone that I don't really like that tries to latch on to me I send really obvious signals that I'm fine with being a friendly casual acquaintance, but that's as far as it's going to go. My first year of college I learned that as long as you're friendly and show some interest in what other people have to say, pretty much everyone wants to be your friend, and I don't have enough bandwidth to be there for people I don't like. In high school, when I met this guy, it made me feel good to sort of take someone under my wing and try to help them become more social, but now I just don't have the energy to do that, especially with someone that's never ever going to change.

If someone treated me the way I treat this guy, it would be unbelievably clear to me that the person had other interests or friendships they wanted to pursue and just didn't have the time to see me as often as I wanted. When this dude calls, what does being "honest and frank" entail, in your opinion? "Do you want to go see a movie?" "Yeah, but not with you." That's the truth, but this kid seriously might kill himself if I said that.

edit: By the way, I haven't called this guy (even to call him back) since he moved back to the area. How the hell can you think someone is your friend if they literally never call you? The most I do is sometimes send a text message back saying I'm busy.