spider is sad/people bash ward/galleleo says something random as shit: the thread

[Spider]

Some people are already aware of this. I just a little help from people who will never meet me. My gf moved to Toronto after 2 years of dating. The plan was for me to move there too this summer once I finish my degree. While her leaving was very hard on both of us I believe she has fallen out of love with me. It's possible but unlikely that she is just too busy to have time for me but I doubt that. Anyway, I wrote a letter to her. I want to at least start this via email so I can be graceful because she deserves that and take some of the emotion out of it so I don't get frustrated, or just don't get too misty to say the words. I also want to be good about this so I get some karma points and maybe in the future I will meet another nice girl. If you see anything really stupid in here tell me. Look for anything that might seem "passive-aggressive" because whenever we did argue (it happens, right?) she used to always think I was passive-aggressive. Even when I wasn't! Try convincing someone you aren't being passive-aggressive when they think you are. Talk about an exercise in futility.

Thanks.

=====================================

Dear %tickname,

I honestly don’t know if it is my fault or not but I have come to believe our relationship is over. As much as it hurts me to admit this I believe you may no longer love me. I have felt this is a possibility for weeks and continuing to try to think that we are still together makes life difficult. My dad asks me every day how you are doing and what you are up to. I keep telling him that you’re fine and loving Toronto, and that gets harder every day. I want you to know that while I’ll be very sad and disappointed if we break up I will survive. I believe every step forward brings us both closer to some form of happiness, though sometimes we must travel through adversity. It’s important that you know this so you can make the right decision. I’m afraid that you may have been unable to tell me that you no longer feel the same about me as you used to out of courtesy for my feelings. I must admit that after being with me for two years you know what I am all about. There is no point, clearly, in me trying to convince you to stay with me. I suppose there is nothing I can say at this point other than you have my love and admiration and I wish for nothing more than to be together. I fully intended to come to Toronto once I get my degree and work doggedly to provide a little money while you work towards your education and I try to work up to more lucrative work. If this is not something that you look forward to I want to quit trying to pursue that dream.

I’ve had a hard time convincing myself I should send a letter such as this one but waiting to see what happens with us has been agonizing. I have decided that if you love you me having received one stupid letter will not change that. And if you don’t, this will just make it that much easier for us to finally clear this up. I regret that this might seem like I’ve been a pest with this issue, especially if your lack of affection is just a result of being busy. If that truly is the case I am deeply sorry for troubling you with this email. As I said at the start of this, while I’ve been trying to believe that is the case, it has become more and more difficult. Which is why a couple day ago on MSN I was trying to explain that I can’t tell how you feel about me anymore because I don’t have the benefit of seeing it in your eyes or feeling it in your touch. I was trying to get you to tell me that you really love me or not. I am trying to be a gentlemen about this by not fighting it and bringing it up sooner rather than later.

If this is the end I want you to know that I continue to hold you in very high regard. I wish you every measure of success. If someday someone changes the world for the better is might as well be you! You brought many wonderful things to my life that I might not have had the chance to experience without you. Many of my fondest memories that I might have missed out on are some of the most simple. Going to that Stars concert, and experiencing being out on our own in %coord, working at the Legislature are some of the highlights. I want you to understand that whenever I did something nice you, making lunch or driving you to Kumon, for I was only trying to enrich your life as much as you’ve enriched mine.

Thank you,
%selfname

==================

Kumon is a place she worked at one point, stars is a band, blah blah. Figure it out. Any pointers?

[CrvenBan]

you really want her to break up with you ? I mean, writting such an annoyingly whiney letter...?

You made several rookie mistakes wich make me believe that you either 1. lie about having a gf, or 2. are still way too youg despite the "2 yrs long" "relationship"

I want you to know that while I’ll be very sad and disappointed if we break up I will survive.

cmon! that kind of bullshit deserves a spot on Days of our lives. That needed a manly: It's ok, I will find me a gf just like you and love her more than I ever loved you, whore.

There is no point, clearly, in me trying to convince you to stay with me.

ew. no no no no no. You don't "convince" them wtf, you make them "beg" you. Newbie.

I suppose there is nothing I can say at this point other than you have my love and admiration and I wish for nothing more than to be together

Let me translate that for you: I know you're the best thing that ever happened to me and I will let you walk up'n'down all over me, and still take you back regardless of what you do. Loooser!!

I get my degree and work doggedly to provide a little money while you work towards your education and I try to work up to more lucrative work. If this is not something that you look forward to I want to quit trying to pursue that dream.

Women are like dogs. You need to control them or they'll piss all over your carpet and chew your fav porn. Too many big words, are you fucking writing to your gf or some stranger.

I regret that this might seem like I’ve been a pest with this issue, especially if your lack of affection is just a result of being busy. If that truly is the case I am deeply sorry for troubling you with this em

Where is the Whine-Off button!

If this is the end I want you to know that I continue to hold you in very high regard. I wish you every measure of success. If someday someone changes the world for the better is might as well be you! You brought many wonderful things to my life that I might not have had the chance to experience without you

OH PLEASE!! Go get your balls first and then continue typing.

Thank you

Thank you? THANK YOU !!? YOU fucking asshole, you disgust me. 2 years. Say it, 2 fucking years. You don't say "thank you" for 2 years you dumb fuck.


Women like strong men that are secure enough about themselves and will "let them" (that's a trap, you have to "let them" but make them think you had nothing to do with "letting them") live their lives, not some whiney boys who can't stop dreaming about mommy's juicy bosom. Grow the fuck up and grow some balls, it will only do you good later on.

[stark]

You should at least have the courtesy of doing it over the phone, as you can't do it in person... But through e-mail, it's a cop-out and pretty lame.

[Pandagirl!]

You should at least have the courtesy of doing it over the phone, as you can't do it in person... But through e-mail, it's a cop-out and pretty lame.

That's what I was thinking. I'd be pissed if I'd been dating someone for two years and he broke up with me through an email or letter.

[Singularity]

Emails such as these tend to get printed out and shown to others along with a "look what my loser ex did lol" comment if you don't have the guts to break up in a normal way. :fear:

[Noah]

Breaking up through email has to be equally smart as breaking up with a crowbar.

[megaman89]

I agree with every word Crv said and now I'm starting to fall for him.

If you want to forget about this asshole of a girlfriend you gotta stop being so nice and tell her how you really feel. You have to be pissed off as all hell that this is happening to you like this. All the shit you did for her and you just get straight up forgot about and ignored? Come on, tell her the fuck off she has complete control over you it's sad.

I just ended it with my gf of about 1 year and a few months. It sucks at first because like you I loved her and she became my best friend. But I wasn't going to get over her sitting around crying and doing nothing. I got pissed and to sum all the words up into a few...told her to get aids and die.

She is walking all over you like crv said, its like your her puppet. If she emails back or whatever saying she lost interest in you and doesn't love you anymore you better go over to Toronto and choke a bitch for throwing away 2 years of your life when you did everything to try to make you 2 work, because I'm assuming you did.

goodluck

[Tone]

throw that negative letter int he garbage

[Spider]

Hah I sent it. I changed it a bit before I read your responses and sent it. I'll keep you posted with how she saw it. Good thing I wasn't dating CrvnBan hey?

[Spider]

That's what I was thinking. I'd be pissed if I'd been dating someone for two years and he broke up with me through an email or letter.

Well no. She doesn't care for me anymore. I'm not ditching her. She left me. I'm just being curteous and ending it for her so she can move on. I don't want to break up. This is the worst thing that has happened in my life since my mom died when I was 15.

[Facetious]

One, long-distance relationships are tough. I've been with my girlfriend forever and a fair amount of it we've been pretty far apart. I hate the phone. I don't care who is on the other end, I would always rather talk to someone in person than talk on the phone. My girlfriend would sometimes feel neglected because of this, but she had to come to an understanding that it wasn't her, it was the phone. Likewise, I had to make an effort to talk to her on the phone more because I didn't realize that she expected more long phone calls about nothing. I thought "hey lets update each other on our days and then go do some shit." She was a lot more bored than me (as opposed to now when I have nothing better to do than write three paragraphs of relationship advice to someone online) and really wanted the phone calls as a form of entertainment. Make sure you aren't being selfish and punishing her because she's in the big city having a good time and you're sitting around being bored and pouting.

If you decide she is being selfish, not you, this:
That letter is pretty long and I only skimmed it, but is that letter even a break-up letter? It doesn't seem like it. Anyway, I don't see what could more passive-aggressive than writing someone a long-winded confusing letter instead of coming right out and telling someone what's bothering you. Girls don't like guys that don't have any balls. Writing all that shit instead of talking to her in person (or on the phone if you're prohibitively far away) and saying "I deserve better than to be ignored, so if you're going to keep treating me like this, I'm going to find someone that treats me right" is probably symptomatic of the stuff you've been doing that makes her think she can ignore you in the first place. Basically what a letter like that says is "please reassure me that you still like me by treating me well for 3 days and then over the course of the next month slowly go right back to treating me like shit again."

As everyone else has said, don't send that letter. Man up and hold her accountable for her actions, knowing that you deserve better (being single is better than a bad relationship anyway, so even if you're a total schmuck and can't get another girlfriend, you still do have a better option). Girls say they want a sensitive dude with emotions, but they don't want some weak-ass dude that won't stand up for himself either.

[D1st0rt]

Why ask for advice if you're not going to listen? That's what Livejournal is for.

[Noah]

I'm on the verge of ending my 2,5 year old relationship right now. We've been semi long distance for a while, and this is ending because of far less than what you are describing. She's neglecting you, and walking over you in such a serious degree that you should have done something long ago.

If my relationship had ended up like this, and she had done that, I'd fucking flip on her. She's fucking not answering your calls after 2 years! After 2 fucking years and she gives you this shit back?

Then you break up by e-mail?

[Facetious]

You sent it? That was retarded and all my effort went to waste. Fuck you. You can still recover, however. My suspicion is she's going to say "No, I still like you, blah blah blah, I'll try harder" and not mean any of it because she knows she can still shit on you. You need to then immediately call her and say "I'm sorry, that pussy roundabout way of expressing myself is not what I really mean. I'm pissed off here, and I hope you mean what you're saying because I'm not standing for this shit anymore."

[Creature]

Show up at her doorstep and smack a hoe!