Pressure Drop’s real life story –just happened 127 mins ago !!!

[Pressure Drop]

So as I walked to the toilet, I passed the lift a small shiny screw glinting on the floor caught my eye from about 3 – 2 m away. Although I was strangely memorised I did not break my walking pace. What intrigues me was the urges this mere little screw conjured up in me. Indeed not just one urge but two very conflicting urges that perhaps we all deal with on a day by day situation or perhaps I should finally go check on my mental health with a specialist.

Anyhow urge one , after some consideration I have labelled this urge one, I’m unsure what order my urges came in or whether they were simultaneous - it all happened so fast and in this, my post incidental analysis it seems correct to label this urge , urge one. So urge one was to kick the screw with my left foot, not only am I left footed but walking in a straight line the screw was offset to my lefthand side and thusly could easily be kicked with my left foot but would require drastic movement to be kicked by my right foot. For some reason this act would have sparked a spontaneous childlike joy as this kick would have taken the screw down a couple of steps and against a wall or door and strangely made me feel great for no real reason other than I kicked a screw and it was fun.

Urge two was to pick up the screw as perhaps it could be useful, sometimes the engineers and the I.T. people have asked me for screws which I inevitably do not have , yet this screw at the glance I had taken looked more like a very common sort of small screw and thusly in plentiful supply and unlikely to ever be used if I had picked it up. Still I could put it in my drawer and keep it, my precious. Then leave it there when they finally get around to letting me go as part of the cost cutting exercise being implemented from above and likely why I was originally hired so that would provide a false paper statistical cost cut whereas in reality they never needed to hire me in the first place but I’m here to safeguard their jobs while being completely dispensable myself. As I am sitting in my work typing out a story about a screw and no one gives a shit.

Ultimately I was deeply torn by these conflicting urges.

I would say that this is the path I choose but I’m unsure if it was much of a conscious choice or indecision or perhaps fear. Perhaps it would even run as deep as being atypical of my personality of opting to do nothing rather than come to a decision that I am happy with.

For I just walked by the screw and didn’t do anything. Indeed I blanked the screw.

Then I went to the toilet pondering this all and on the walk back I had forgotten about the screw , walking right past it unnoticed until I got to my desk and realised that the screw that had raised up urges in me, yet i walked by it unnoticed on the return, fair enough it probably didn’t glint this time but I knew it was there.

I now wonder what part not wanting to be seen by my work colleagues played a part in this. At the time I was alone however someone could have walked by as I kicked it OR picked it up. I didn’t want to be seen as some degenerate 26 year old who kicks screws as if he was mentally retarded, nor did I want the owner of said screw to go hey stop stealing my screw I need that.

Perhaps that added to my brain stalling and failing to come to a quick decisive conclusion to let my winning urge be quelled. Perhaps they where equally good urges so finely balanced that no one could pick one above the other. However that doesn’t seem quite right as I labelled kicking the screw urge one and I even thought about going back and kicking the screw but decided against it as it wouldn’t be as fun now and more like me giving in to o.c.d. so I wouldn’t get that spontaneous sense of joy. There is almost an element of guilt in there now, perhaps I owe this inanimate screw more than a disrespectful kick since it has me thinking at least even if my thoughts are pointless and not very good.

I’ve lost enthusiasm for this thread. It was a mistake. Much like not kicking that screw.

hmmmmm
:fear: -_-

[Mantra-Slider]

what surprises me is that you forgot about the screw when you were on your way back as it seems it made a big impression on you.

[Nockm]

That was a test I engineered in your office for you. The correct answer was to pick up the screw and put it in your drawer for safe-keeping. The reasons why this is the correct behaviour is:

1. You are tidying the office environment. This leads to increased productivity (less people get distracted by the screw like you did) and that can only improve the Health and Safety situation.
2. If the screw was to be useful to someone at some point, you would have that exact correct screw in-hand, ready to give and save the day. I do not believe that you have the appropriate technical qualification to assess that the screw was common enough to ignore.
3. You would not be kicking the screw. Kicking the screw down the stairs could lead to permanent eye-injury or lodging within the ear canal. This decreases the Health and Safety situation (see point 2) and adds a random, unpredictable factor within the workplace that thrives upon calculated and accountable activity.

If you were to keep the screw, it would have proved you are an employee capable of:

1. Cool judgement in high-pressure situations in general.
2. Aware of surroundings and consequences.
3. Adaptable and flexible in the direction of a high-efficiency workrate for all tasks.

However you did not pick up the screw. You even had the thoughts of *kicking* the screw. For this I must fail you on this examination and re-schedule another test at another time and location unknown to you.

Good luck.

[Zerzera]

A day in the life of the social anxious, only that the thought of making such a decision would kick you in the nuts with stress hormones.

[DankNuggets]

do you smoke? because weed will make you analyze a lot of common decisions.

Personally, I would've kicked the screw, and if it didn't go too far, I would have then retrieved it for safe keeping.

I have also observed a weird habit of people walking by the plants on the sidewalk near the university classrooms. A good many people who walk by causually pick off a leaf or berry from an overhanging branch. This didn't seem too strange to me at first, but after seeing like 5-6 ppl do it in 15 min, it began to seem more important. Human instinct: to pick up things or to destroy them? I couldn't come to a conclusion whether the people where subconciously destroying the plant for the amusement of it, or if they were doing it on a more instinctual level, an urge to forage. I then realized, "man i'm stoned" and went back to what i was doing, which was nothing.

[Fluffz]

you should have picked it up and put it in a small box. Write "IMPORTANT ink printer pressure regultor screw" on this box and put it somewhere. My office is full of weird electric stuff and plastic pieces that could or could not be important. In fact, now that i am going to quit this job soon i do not much else than labeling the most useless stuff important. This and loosing screws of toilet paper holders. In case you ever wonder why stuff magically falls off the wall, it was me.

[Lizard Fuel]

everybody in this thread has made me laugh except mantra. This is quite unusual on these BORUMS nowadays, so kudos to everyone above me, except you, mantra, you heathen.

[Xog]

That was a test I engineered in your office for you. The correct answer was to pick up the screw and put it in your drawer for safe-keeping. The reasons why this is the correct behaviour is:

1. You are tidying the office environment. This leads to increased productivity (less people get distracted by the screw like you did) and that can only improve the Health and Safety situation.
2. If the screw was to be useful to someone at some point, you would have that exact correct screw in-hand, ready to give and save the day. I do not believe that you have the appropriate technical qualification to assess that the screw was common enough to ignore.
3. You would not be kicking the screw. Kicking the screw down the stairs could lead to permanent eye-injury or lodging within the ear canal. This decreases the Health and Safety situation (see point 2) and adds a random, unpredictable factor within the workplace that thrives upon calculated and accountable activity.

If you were to keep the screw, it would have proved you are an employee capable of:

1. Cool judgement in high-pressure situations in general.
2. Aware of surroundings and consequences.
3. Adaptable and flexible in the direction of a high-efficiency workrate for all tasks.

However you did not pick up the screw. You even had the thoughts of *kicking* the screw. For this I must fail you on this examination and re-schedule another test at another time and location unknown to you.

Good luck.

fucking WIN dude!

EPIC LOL!!

[Jeenyuss]

mantra he was probably lost in thought about the screw. so deeply involved in this paradox that he even forgot about the source of all this mayhem.

[Pressure Drop]

nockm why are you always testing me !!! and why am i always failing

why not set me a test you know i can pass ! to make me feel warm inside

well ultimately i completely failed

on the same day i found myself back at the lift with the screw on 2 separate occasions about 3-4 hours after posting that

first i kicked it and it stuck to the carpet so i kicked it again and it went further but i found the shag of the carpet was too long to kick the screw effectively not much fun

the next time i was there i was like wait a minute i can pick it up too !!

so i picked it up and took it home with me and i was going to post a photo of it here but then i didn't bother - i might still have it or my flatmate might have thrown it out as i left it on the table


hmmmm
B)

[DankNuggets]

not quite blockbuster material, but with a few script changes and key castings, i think we could make it to the silver screen, maybe even primetime miniseries!

[Pressure Drop]

not quite blockbuster material, but with a few script changes and key castings, i think we could make it to the silver screen, maybe even primetime miniseries!

totaly i could call it
To screw or be screwed

then shoot 30% of in b/w then 5% in negative b/w then 20% in b/w with nockms disembodied head in colour haunting me then all cut up with 50% normal picures and ending in "fin" and i'd sell it as art house cinema


___________________-
btw i found the screw on the floor ! my flatmate hadn't thrown it out but had knocked it onto the ground (unless i did that)

AA batery added for scale


i've gone to far - but who's going to stop me ???

[Zerzera]

You call that a screw? lol.

[Vykromond]

. Although I was strangely memorised

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