Tweet
I've killed more than one insect with pot. Trapped a grasshopper under a small glass and blew one shotgun from a blunt in there. 20 seconds later I took the glass off to see what happened (the smoke was too thick inside). Sure enough, the grass hopper sat motionless. I thought it was just stoned so i pushed it: it just fell over. So marijuana can kill (might have been the nicotine in the blunt) if you're a six-legged-ears-on-knees kinda creature.
And with the bees:
I was house sitting with a buddy of mine at our friends old ass (but very nice) house. We usually step out on to his roof over teh side porch to smoke cigarettes. One afternoon we notice a lot of bees hovering around, but just assumed it was because the azeleas were flowering. Upon closer expection, we discovered that the bees had began to nest against the window of the room next door (but still accessible by the porch roof). We didn't really think too much of it, it wasn't our house.
That night, we have some people over to have a small party. It had become a cheap diversion to show people the nest in progress and to "excite" the bees by tapping on the window (from inside of course). Well on my friends decides he's going to go "excite the bees". Only problem is this guy knocks on the window like he's serving a warrant. I was getting a beer downstairs at the time, and was about to walk back up the steps when I see my 6'2", 300+ lb friend charging down the stairs with the other guy behind him, shouting "BEES BEES GET OUT OF HERE, THEY'RE COMING AFTER US!!"
At this point I moved out of the way (he was seriously going to run me over) and took about 2 seconds to apraise the situation. I didn't quite understand what had happened, but if everyone else is running out of the house screaming, I'm not going to stay inside and figure it out. Outside he explains the situation, and they say that they managed to slam the door shut behind them. We look at the hive as best we can from outside, but it seems to calm. Cautiously, we entered the first floor of the house from the opposite side of the bees. All seemed ok, but we weren't taking any more chances that night.
The next day, we suit up in full bee amour, jackets, jeans, paintball masks and towles on the head. Plus two badminton rackets a piece for close combat. One guy had two cans of wasp killer instead (the guy who broke the glass). We decided the smartest move would be to seal off the house room by room. To our suprise, we didn't find any bees in the house (didn't open the room yet). We then thought it would be best to out flank the fuckers. We send the bug spray guy on the roof with one person to watch his back with the rackets. Luckily, with the 20ft spray, we took down the hive without any major problems. We wait another 12 hrs or so before making our assault on the bedroom. Inside, we find dozens of dead bees fromt he spray, with only a few walking around the glass. Needless to say, we didn't take any prisoners. Later that night, i was telling the people we had over about our bee problem, and gloating about how well we contained them. Then I go to take a piss in the upstairs bathroom. The seat was down. I open it up to piss -- BBUUZZZZZ! Friggin wasp flies right past me out the room- he had been hiding in the toilet, waiting for his chance to get me when my guard was down. Once agian, we were not merciful and hunted his ass down with the badminton rackets.
Morals of the story: Bees are fun to fuck with if you're on the other side of the glass. And if it breaks, get the fuck out of there while you still can. If you see people running out of the house screaming, follow them.
And with the bees:
I was house sitting with a buddy of mine at our friends old ass (but very nice) house. We usually step out on to his roof over teh side porch to smoke cigarettes. One afternoon we notice a lot of bees hovering around, but just assumed it was because the azeleas were flowering. Upon closer expection, we discovered that the bees had began to nest against the window of the room next door (but still accessible by the porch roof). We didn't really think too much of it, it wasn't our house.
That night, we have some people over to have a small party. It had become a cheap diversion to show people the nest in progress and to "excite" the bees by tapping on the window (from inside of course). Well on my friends decides he's going to go "excite the bees". Only problem is this guy knocks on the window like he's serving a warrant. I was getting a beer downstairs at the time, and was about to walk back up the steps when I see my 6'2", 300+ lb friend charging down the stairs with the other guy behind him, shouting "BEES BEES GET OUT OF HERE, THEY'RE COMING AFTER US!!"
At this point I moved out of the way (he was seriously going to run me over) and took about 2 seconds to apraise the situation. I didn't quite understand what had happened, but if everyone else is running out of the house screaming, I'm not going to stay inside and figure it out. Outside he explains the situation, and they say that they managed to slam the door shut behind them. We look at the hive as best we can from outside, but it seems to calm. Cautiously, we entered the first floor of the house from the opposite side of the bees. All seemed ok, but we weren't taking any more chances that night.
The next day, we suit up in full bee amour, jackets, jeans, paintball masks and towles on the head. Plus two badminton rackets a piece for close combat. One guy had two cans of wasp killer instead (the guy who broke the glass). We decided the smartest move would be to seal off the house room by room. To our suprise, we didn't find any bees in the house (didn't open the room yet). We then thought it would be best to out flank the fuckers. We send the bug spray guy on the roof with one person to watch his back with the rackets. Luckily, with the 20ft spray, we took down the hive without any major problems. We wait another 12 hrs or so before making our assault on the bedroom. Inside, we find dozens of dead bees fromt he spray, with only a few walking around the glass. Needless to say, we didn't take any prisoners. Later that night, i was telling the people we had over about our bee problem, and gloating about how well we contained them. Then I go to take a piss in the upstairs bathroom. The seat was down. I open it up to piss -- BBUUZZZZZ! Friggin wasp flies right past me out the room- he had been hiding in the toilet, waiting for his chance to get me when my guard was down. Once agian, we were not merciful and hunted his ass down with the badminton rackets.
Morals of the story: Bees are fun to fuck with if you're on the other side of the glass. And if it breaks, get the fuck out of there while you still can. If you see people running out of the house screaming, follow them.
Comment