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Many if ands and buts

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  • Many if ands and buts

    If Jesus was resurrected for one day in modern day western civilization with an unlimited supply of cash, what would he do?

    I personally think he would go transgender and ride a neon fluorescent segway through times square. Then he would use psychokinetic suffocation to trick the gay cowboy into hanging himself with his own lasso, spawning a revised Testament. Madonna would oversee it all and be proclaimed the new patron saint of prostitution.

    Then he would force all the mentally and physically handicapped; the retards and the homosexuals, into one city with impenetrable walls, to take care of each other as the Collective Useless, for all eternity.

    After fornicating with every living orifice in his population density, he will immolate himself directly with hellfire from his horned phallus on Live TV for children. Pagan hobos will leap from every dumpster to feast on his magical flesh before the pigeons get a chance. The following day Kim Jung-il will detonate the entire North America for hogging Jesus.

    Then he will commit buddhacide on all the rest of asia The End.

    In your wettest dream of Jesushood, what would you do (as Jesus), in one modern day with unlimited cash?

    edit: Oh by the way, he's transgender because he now looks exactly like Reese Witherspoon except his vagina is on the backside. See?

    Last edited by disorder; 07-14-2009, 05:03 AM.
    The effects that are planned to be studied on the kinetic level are: Laminar and turbulent flow; the transition between both; thermodynamics and self-organisation of complex plasma flows; solitons and shocks; interfaces and plasma instabilities; agglomeration and disagglomeration. For low-frequency excitation and confining particles modulated RF coils and high-voltage supplies are foreseen.

  • #2
    The effects that are planned to be studied on the kinetic level are: Laminar and turbulent flow; the transition between both; thermodynamics and self-organisation of complex plasma flows; solitons and shocks; interfaces and plasma instabilities; agglomeration and disagglomeration. For low-frequency excitation and confining particles modulated RF coils and high-voltage supplies are foreseen.

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    • #3
      Mu Mu Multifail.
      Rabble Rabble Rabble

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