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Dear Trench Wars Forum.
You better believe I'm in a fucking frat, but if I'm not, don't bring up that time I rushed the Hall or I'll tell everyone you're on financial aid. Anyway, let me give you a little lesson in good taste: subtlety is everything. Like when you're walking behind me and you see "Vineyard Vines" around my collar, you already know it's not a good idea to fuck with me. I'm the man on this campus and my sunglasses are gonna dangle from my neck until you realize it.
So keep staring, don't think I don't notice. When I'm cruising down the Long Walk, notebook in hand (no way am I wearing a backpack), you better believe people get out of my way. Chances are I'm headed to an interview with the next big Manhattan boutique, but even if I'm just out to pick up a little coke for tonight, one thing's for sure: whatever I'm doing is twice as important as you and your cargo shorts.
Nothing is more American than croakies. When my ancestors were killing Indians and writing the Constitution, do you think they had time to worry about their sunglasses falling off? Hell no, they had bigger fish to fry. This country was founded by people who knew what they were doing, not a bunch of Subaru-driving atheists who've never heard of the Hampton Jitney. Seriously, if you have to ask why I'm wearing these, chances are you're not in the right tax bracket anyway. So just run along, see if there are any good deals at Hollister, and let me know when you realize the America's Cup isn't sold at 7-11.
You better believe I'm in a fucking frat, but if I'm not, don't bring up that time I rushed the Hall or I'll tell everyone you're on financial aid. Anyway, let me give you a little lesson in good taste: subtlety is everything. Like when you're walking behind me and you see "Vineyard Vines" around my collar, you already know it's not a good idea to fuck with me. I'm the man on this campus and my sunglasses are gonna dangle from my neck until you realize it.
So keep staring, don't think I don't notice. When I'm cruising down the Long Walk, notebook in hand (no way am I wearing a backpack), you better believe people get out of my way. Chances are I'm headed to an interview with the next big Manhattan boutique, but even if I'm just out to pick up a little coke for tonight, one thing's for sure: whatever I'm doing is twice as important as you and your cargo shorts.
Nothing is more American than croakies. When my ancestors were killing Indians and writing the Constitution, do you think they had time to worry about their sunglasses falling off? Hell no, they had bigger fish to fry. This country was founded by people who knew what they were doing, not a bunch of Subaru-driving atheists who've never heard of the Hampton Jitney. Seriously, if you have to ask why I'm wearing these, chances are you're not in the right tax bracket anyway. So just run along, see if there are any good deals at Hollister, and let me know when you realize the America's Cup isn't sold at 7-11.
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