Creed by Steve Turner

[L.C.]

Creed by Steve Turner

We believe in Marx, Freud, and Darwin.
We believe everything is OK as long as you don't hurt anyone, to the best definition of hurt, and to the best of your knowledge.

We believe in sex before, during, and after marriage.
We believe in the therapy of sin.
We believe that adultery is fun.
We believe that sodomy's OK.
We believe that taboos are taboo.

We believe that everything's getting better, despite evidence to the contrary.
The evidence must be investigated and you can prove anything with evidence.

We believe that there's something in horoscopes, UFOs and bent spoons;
Jesus was a good man just like Buddha, Mohammed and ourselves.
He was a good moral teacher although we think His good morals were bad.

We believe that all religions are basically the same -- at least the one that we read was.
They all believe in love and goodness.
They only differ on matters of creation, sin, heaven, hell, God, and salvation.

We believe that after death comes the Nothing because when you ask the dead what happens they say nothing.
If death is not the end, if the dead have lied, then it's compulsory heaven for all excepting perhaps Hitler, Stalin and Genghis Khan.

We believe in Masters and Johnson.
What's selected is average.
What's average is normal.
What's normal is good.

We believe in total disarmament.
We believe there are direct links between warfare and bloodshed.
Americans should beat their guns into tractors and the Russians would be sure to follow.

We believe that man is essentially good.
It's only his behavior that lets him down.
This is the fault of society.
Society is the fault of conditions.
Conditions are the fault of society.

We believe that each man must find the truth that is right for him.
Reality will adapt accordingly.
The universe will readjust.
History will alter.

We believe that there is no absolute truth excepting the truth that there is no absolute truth.

We believe in the rejection of creeds, and the flowering of individual thought.

It is then followed by a postscript Chance

If chance be the Father of all flesh,
disaster is his rainbow in the sky,
and when you hear,
"State of Emergency!
Sniper Kills Ten!
Troops on Rampage!
Whites go Looting! Bomb Blasts School!"

It is but the sound of man worshipping his maker.

What do you think? Opinions? :? (I think it was well written.)

[Jerome Scuggs]

like all bullshit, it is absolutely well-written.

edit: "we believe there are direct links between warfare and bloodshed" THIS MAN HAS OPENED MY EYES AND NOW I CAN SEE

[D1st0rt]

Americans should beat their guns into tractors and the Russians would be sure to follow.

hahahaha good one