Daily Joke

[Oranje]

Me and my mate were masturbating to some hardcore dinosaur pornography.

Unfortunately, my mothersaurus.

That was so bad it almost turned funny, but i like u 2 much 2 -1 u

[mage+]

Bat> wanna hear a joke about a cat?
zidane> no
Bat> awww you gotta be kitten me!

[Oranje]

Bat> wanna hear a joke about a cat?
zidane> no
Bat> awww you gotta be kitten me!

That was so bad it was funny

[Squeezer]

Well, I'm pretty much done with these forums. I rarely come here anyhow, and each time I do I'm more disappointed.

Learn to take a joke homos.

[PjOtTeR]

So I order this all meat pizza by phone.
Pizza guy asks: "Do you want your pizza in 4 or in 8 slices?"
So I respond, make it 4, I could never eat 8

So my girlfriend calls me: come over tonight, there is no one home...
So I get on my bike, cycle for half an hour and when I get there, guess what... No one home...

Why does Squeezer always take a knife with him in his car?
To cut of the corner.

Why does Xog keep empty bottles in his fridge?
For guests who want nothing to drink.

It's yellow and when it hits you between the eyes, you're dead. What is it?
A train (most Dutch trains are yellow or used to be)

What's the last thing that shoots through a flies head when he hits the front window of a car?
His ass

So Da1andonly, Soup and Oranje are walking in the park when they read in the newspaper a lion from the local zoo escaped... Suddenly out of the bushes in the distance, the Lion appears... So Da1andonly runs to his car as quickly as possible and drives away...
Soup gets into a tree as quick as possible, while Oranjes starts running around the tree as fast as he can. Soup sees it and doesn't understand as the Lion is closing by, so he says: Get in the tree fast, that lion is coming!... Oranje responds: Don't worry, I'm already 12 laps ahead...

[PjOtTeR]

And for Squeezer:

What is 1 Marrocan on the moon?
1 less problem

What is 2 Marrocans on the moon?
2 problems less

What is 1 thousand Marrocans on the moon?
1 safe neighborhood

What is 1 million Marrocans on the moon?
Lunar eclipse

What is all Marrocans on the moon?
The solution

[Scurvy]

funny?

for the record, never tell a joke that requires a parenthetic explanation.

[Jason]

sorry squeeze :\

[Reab]

An elderly Italian man who lived in the outskirts of Monte Cassino went to the local church for confession.

He said: "Father, during World War II, a beautiful woman knocked on my door and asked me to hide her from the enemy. So I hid her in my attic."

The priest replied: "That was a wonderful thing you did, my son and you have no need to confess that."

"It's worse than that, Father. She started to repay me with sexual favors."

The priest said: "By doing that, you were both in great danger. However, two people together under those circumstances are greatly tempted to act that way. But if you are truly sorry for your actions, you are forgiven."

"Thank you Father. That's a great load off my mind. But I have one more question."

"And what is that?" said the priest.

"Should I tell her the war is over?"

[Supreme]

[Supreme]

[Bioture]

Four girls die in a car crash. At heaven's gate, they line up to meet St. Peter. St. Peter asks the first one, "before you go in, tell me if you've done anything bad."

The first girl replied "Yeah, I kissed a boy once."
St peter says, "I have this wash basin with holy water here, wash your lips and go on in."

The second girl was asked the same question and said "I held a boy's hand once."
St peter says, "Wash your hands with holy water and go on in."

Then St. peter saw the two girls who were still in line fighting. He asks, "whats wrong?"
The last girl in the line says "I'm not gargling that water after she washes her butt with it!"

[Supreme]

[Supreme]

[Supreme]

Joke lizard fuel stole in soem other thread: