Silly shit you say to telemarketers

[sTuPiD-gErBiL]

i usually tell them to hold on for a second. then i put the phone down and cover the speaky part thingy with a skillet and then beat the shit out of the skillet with a big spoon and start screaming obscenities to allah.

[Dameon Angell]

i make them seem like i'm interested in what they want to sell, sometimes saying lemme go get my creditcard. I then put them on hold and leave them there for a while.

[ÆNIMA]

All right all right, saying mean stuff I can understand.

But these are just people with jobs, don't waste their time! Just say something whitty, and hang up..get it over with.

[sTuPiD-gErBiL]

Originally posted by ÆNIMA
All right all right, saying mean stuff I can understand.

But these are just people with jobs, don't waste their time! Just say something whitty, and hang up..get it over with.

and these people who do this for a living are used to being rejected. it's part of the job. so it's our duty to at least make the rejections interesting.

[Bilbo]

I think I converted a telemarketer to Jehovas witnesses once.

[Fatal|ty]

Just act like your really interested, then say something like "Hold on, someone is at my door." Open it and pretend like your talking to them, makes some loud noises, as if they were gunshots, drop the fone, wait like 5 seconds, pick up the fone "crying" and sobbing that you have been shot in the balls, and u need medical help immediatly. See how far they go to save your ass, its good fun.

Or....You can do this to a friend. Go to, lets say, Toys R' Us, and ask to use their phone. Call a friends local phone service, and ask that you would like to add call fowarding. Give them the number (your friends probably, definately not your own) you would like them to foward the calls to. In doing this, make sure its around christmas time, so many ppl call and go shopping. Your friend will recieve hundreds of calls a day. ive done this. good fun

[NaiLed]

Ahh, Boiler Room is a great movie



I just usually leave the phone off the hook.

[code]

Well, before my mom and I just switched to cell phones.. I had a house phone and would get calls a lot during the day. What I would do is, pick up the phone start talking to them.. and ask them to explain their business or their speal or whatever.. and once they get started I would just set the phone down and go back to what I was doing.. soon I'd hear.. REREREEEEREEEREEEREEEREEE.. then I'd know its time to hang up the phone.. l0l

[punjar]

Originally posted by Troll King
Go watch the film Boiler Room starring Giovanni Ribisi.

It's a Saturday morning. Seth is sitting at the kitchen table eating breakfast. He has several IPO contracts out on the table. He reads as he eats. The PHONE RINGS.

SETH: Hello?

SALESMAN: Hi, this is Ron calling you from the Daily News. How you doing this morning?

SETH: I'm not interested.

SALESMAN: Okay. I'm sorry to have bothered you. Have a nice day.

SETH: That's it? That's your pitch? You consider that a sales call??!

SALESMAN: Well, ummm...

SETH: You want to sell me a paper right? Well you guys call me every Saturday and I get the same half-assed attempt. You wanna close me? Then sell me.

SALESMAN (hesitantly): Alright.

SETH: Go ahead, start again.

SALESMAN: Okay... Hi, this is Ron from the Daily News. How you doing this morning?

SETH (smiling): Shitty. What do you want?

SALESMAN: It's not what I want, sir... it's what you want.

SETH: Alright, now you're talking. What are you selling?

SALESMAN: I'm offering you a subscription to the Daily News at a substantially reduced price. We're trying to reach out to people that have never had home delivery before.

SETH: So, everyone else that already has a subscription is getting fucked on this one huh?

SALESMAN: ...Yeah, I guess so.

SETH: Good, I can live with that. Now why do I want your paper? Maybe I should get the Times or the Voice.

SALESMAN: Well the Village Voice is free, sir, so if you want it you should certainly pick it up. But the Daily News offers you something no other paper can, a real taste of New York. We have some writers on staff that have been with us for over fifteen years. We have the best features! More photographs than any other daily in New York! And we have the most reliable delivery in the city! Now what do you think??!!

SETH: Alright, Ron. Now that was a sales call. Good job!

SALESMAN: So are you going to buy a subscription?

SETH: No. I already get the Times.

CLICK.

this is a great movie look into it.

[Troll King]

You didn't have to quote the whole thing though. It took me hella long to edit it, as I cut and pasted it from script format, otherwise it would have been several screens long.

[Stabwound]

Some middle eastern woman just called me saying some shit about low cost calls to India or something . Then she went "You call India, correct" and I went, "uhh, no." then she said something I didn't understand and I kinda made out some words and I went "Uh, no I don't call India" and then she just hung up. ROFL. I guess maybe she didn't say India? Well maybe they should get people that speak english correctly if they want to sell their service. That's the first time I ever had a telemarketer hang up on ME. :P

[papist]

Originally posted by ÆNIMA


My brother's favorite: "Look, it's a really bad time to call, there's an ambulance here." click

haha

[King Baba]

I had some people call me for a survey on smoking.

Them: "Hello Sir, do you have a few minutes to answer some questions regarding smoking?"

Me: "Uh, no, not really..I'm on my way out to have a cigarette."

Ez.

[Bioture]

close this thread i've decided i didnt want to work as a telemarketer.