Jokes Of all time

[iNgeNfyRe]

i forget exact wording:

A guy takes a girl home from their date and are standing outside the front door. The guy leans against the wall and begs the girl for a blowjob. The girl complains and says they don't even know each other well enough. After enough debating, the front light turns on and her little siter opens the door. She says "Dad told me to tell you to give him the damn blowjob or he'll come down and do it himself." She turns to the guy and says, "and he says to take your damn hand off the fucking intercom."

[recon marine]

i got another one that i just remembered, i love this one $$

One day an Englishman, a Scotsman, and an Irishman walked into a pub together. They each bought a pint of Guinness. Just as they were about to enjoy their creamy beverage, three flies landed in each of their pints, and were stuck in the thick head. The Englishman pushed his beer away in disgust. The Scotsman fished the fly out of his beer and continued drinking it, as if nothing had happened. The Irishman, too, picked the fly out of his drink, but then held it out over the beer and yelled, "SPIT IT OUT, SPIT IT OUT, YOU BASTARD!!!!"