Are you a subspace addict?

[Predator Rulez]

I checked out my cont folder.. and found a pretty old word document back in it.. I ripped it from subspace HQ.. ( I think ) a few years back.. ohwell it gave me some laughs!

CHECK IT OOOUUUTTT!! :fear:

Edit: Some extra notes before you start reading
NO! I did not write this myself.. some geek wrote this some years ago!
VERY IMPORTANT: BIG READ COMMING UP.. make sure you got beer and snacks.. some pretty funny shit is on it

1) You find yourself trying to run over green lights, attacking redlights, and ignoring yellow lights.
2) You keep looking for Escape-F3 on your dashboard to find out whoelse is on the road with you.
3) You have ever shifted your car into reverse at full speed totake a corner faster .(I've done this and have the mangled transmissiontto prove it
4) You have ever played a game of SubSpace for more than 24 hours.
5) You don't understand why item 4 is on this list, doesn'teveryone?
6) You find out space is three-dimentional and think "no it'snot.."
7) Your friend's terrier starts yap-yap-yapping at you and you wantto just turn and kick the living **** out of it.
8) You know exactly whats about to happen when you see:
>Stay out of the main chamber I'm about to repel the combmines
9) You don't have macros because you can type that fast now.
10) Your parents ask you how college is goin' and you reply,"great! I just made 53 on the dueling ladder!"
11) You try and create a scenario.
12) and succeed
13) You have ever accumulated a 6-digit score.
14) You compose a "you know you've played to much when" list.
15) You can identify the ship type by its movement on your radar.
16) You have ever considered spending more time writing a cheating"hack" than it would take to actually get that good.
17) It's never occured to you to wonder why there are walls inspace.
18) You know Rod and JeffP
19) They know you
20) You can identify everyone on the player list, the ship theyfly, their general tactics and their mother's maiden name.
21) You're ?usage reports a number that is only possible if youhave not slept in 2 1/2 months.
22) You squash a spider in your living room and feel _really_ goodabout it.
23) Those old westerns where outlaws have five digit bounties ontheir heads seem much more impressive.
24) You fill out a purchase requisition for a Pentium 200 Mhz atwork, only so you can get one more person in the lab online. (yes, I'vedone this too)
25) You understand any of this
26) You've asked Rod and JeffP repeatedly to put in a new feature"I need some time off to urinate" button.
27) When you get into a car accident, and you tell the cop "I gotdowngraded".
28) When you make a web page all about Subspace(tee heeee).
29) When you write in these reasons while you're working. (Guesswhat? )
30) When you spend more time finding the wav file "There Can BeOnly ONE".
31) When you play wing commander and wonder why the hell the tabkey doesn't work.(I've done this)
32) When you play a league game, Trixter, D-Tox, and Fury go to theoffices of Stomped.com and play off their T1.
33) Or. Go to Trix's house and get D-ToX, Fury, BetaMax, andconnect via phone line just so we can talk to each other.
34) Or. Do the same thing, Change your name to Gina, Patricia,Jennifer, and Darcy and go slap around the alpha zone and get insane2000+ bounties.
35) You think more about getting prox than paying your bills.
36) Your girlfriend calls your computer the "2nd woman" (happens tome) :P
37) and then she plays Subspace just as much. (doh)
38) You really like the music and start screamin "Go Fury Go, Getstupid, It's Yer birthday" during the last minute of speed zone.
39) Have no less than 50 cans of Mountain Dew strewn around yourroom.
40) Write 40 reasons why you play too much Subspace.
41) You forgot you turned on ?log and have a 40Mb session.log file
42) You can place 10 pbombs motionless at the same spot
43) You think Star Wars would have been much better with Warbirdsand Terriers instead of Tie Fighters and X-Wings
44) You have a w.t.f.? lag? macro
45) You rapidly hit shift+ctrl when win95 crashes and think youwere 2 late..
46) You made a 'Songs I like hearing when playing SS' tape
47) You can predict what a green will give you
48) You're ?usage indicates you have been playing half as much asmelted
49) Your usage is high enough for people to make jokes about
50) You completely refuse to tell anyone your usage
51) Your wife schedules days, a week in advance to go to bed withyou
52) You've spoken with over 5 SubSpace players on the phone
53) Your wife has threated the lives of Jeff and Rod
54) You lose a scholorship and a place in the Honors College cuzyou played SS instead of went to class
55) You have Trash Talk BBS as your homepage on Netscape
56) Your SubSpace directory is almost 100 megs
57) You spent more then 10 minutes making a banner
58) You spent hours on a squad insignia
59) You identify with 1-58
60) You're downloading SS on a customers computer while its in yourrepair store for something else totaly..
61) You are reading this post while passing the time on the samecustomers computer because it downloads to slow
62) You brag about your ?usage
63) You have an entire hardrive (224 meg) dedicated to subspace
64) You voted subspace best game ever in the PcGamer top 50
65) You have a monument dedicated to JeffP (gotta come to Idaho tosee it sometime man)
66) You've visited Rod's birthplace, and taken your family!!
67) You've quickly developed carpal tunnel syndrome in the lastyear.
68) You call your 1987 honda a "neg"
69. You spend more time playing subspace than working
70. You attempted to arrange a "Turf help-line" to assist theafflicted
71. Most of your knowledge of physics comes from SubSpace
72. Strangely enough, the 3 13 year olds found crucified in yourcity were all 1. Negkillers, 2. On the ReDs
73. You're not at all amazed that this list is nearing 100
74. You wake your girlfriend and yourself up in the middle of thenight screaming "DID YOU SEE THAT FREAKING LAGGER GO THROUGH THOSE MINES!" (yes this happened to me)
75.you realize there is no such thing as alien abductions: ppl justlose track of time playing SubSpace.(the truth was finally found :P)
76.uhhh **** I'm wasting time reading this while I could be playingsubspace.
77. The chair you sit in while you play SubSpace has grown ontoyour butt.
78. Your TV does the poltergeist thingy cause you don't pay itenough attention.
79.You have no need for Windows you just need the SubSpace icon.
80. Your mouse is nothing but bones on your mousepad.
81. You just noticed you haven't had a cigarette scince you gotSubSpace.
82. If you get beat up at school you start whining "he lags he mustbe on the ReDS""wait that was M 5"
83.You have went through 10 keyboards.(you know what I mean)
84. Girlfriend? oh s**t where is she?????(self explanatory)
85. You buy a new computer just so SubSpace runs better.
86. You buy a T3 so u don't lag and ppl still whine at you"lag,lag"
87. The radiation from your monitor works like asprin.
88. oh s**t there are 100000 newspapers in front of my house.
89. Your girlfriend says take out the trash and you say"ok honey ialmost got the stupid lagger"
90. You wonder if the sun still exists.
91. You plan to sue VIE for not having a warning" this is moreaddicting than crack"label.
92. Someone asks how's your job and you say"I got 100k in pointstoday"
93. You have so much trash around your computer you need a snowshouvel to get to the fridge.
94. You no longer talk only type.
95. Your lawn is a freaking jungle.
96. When you consider church kissing up to jeffp and rod.
97. Your gatting an A++++ in physics and F's in all your otherclasses and you don't wonder why.
98. The greatest moment in your life was when you won the duelingtourney.
99. Whoah! this list is almost at 100.
100. This list is at 100.

[Predator Rulez]

part 2

101. This is 1 helluva lot of reasons.
102. You're beating yourself up cause you coulda been gettingpoints instead of getting this list over 100.
103. You spend as much time on the Boards than you spend actuallyplaying the game.
104. You start feeding your terrier green candy hoping that itwould grow faster.
105. You wish you'd have had XRadar when a German (=green) policecar pulls you over.
106. You buy a ferret (resemblance to Weasel), a terrier, anagressive parrot (warbird), and a black widow...
107. You put those pets in the same cage and wait to see which onestays alive.
108. You devise a standard HTML format including pictures and linksto use in all your posts.
109. You stay awake longer and longer until you live by USA time inEurope.
110. You're second in command on a League Zone squadron, and alsoplay the Ladder.
111. Wayne Hall does something "only because it's you" (happened tome, check out the TechBoard).
112. Wayne Hall says "you should know better" (guess what)
113. You go to Chaos, and people start asking you questions becausethey think you're on the SubSpace team (happened too).
114. Everybody in the game seems to know you.
115. You think it very odd if somebody (anybody) doesn't.
116. You are placed in the Hall of Fame.
117. You've bought extra video RAM just to run a res higher.
118. You're thinking of buying a better graphics card just to goanother res higher.
119. You can fly all ships (inlcluding the Spider) to rather higheffect.
120. You are asked to write part of a SubSpace guide by Rincewind,but play too much subspace to actually write it (sorry Rince... do youstill need it?)
121. You have installed the SubSpace screen saver.
122) You held a dueling tournament
123) You almost won the tournament
124) You actually answer people you don't know who cross server msgyou
125) You search forever on the net for that perfect wav that youend up never using because you are playing too much.
126) You are behind some guy going 5mph on the highway and scream,"GET A NEW FREAKING MODEM YOU LAGGER!"
127) jerrica has a pet name for you
128) You have a pet name for her
129) You play a game of street hockey, and lose, then ask the otherteam what their packetloss is
130) They understand what you are talking about
131) You want ghost back
132) The word ctrl on your keyboard has been rubbed off
133) You stay up 2 days in a row just to try to get back onto aregular sleeping schedule
134) You end up staying up 3 days in a row
135) Rod actually replies to you in email (but not frequently)
136) You drive at night and frequently reach for the x-radar tocheck for cloakers on the road.
137) You spend far too much time giving people in subspace petnames :P
138) You install subspace on all the pc's in your office, and logon during 15min breaks.
139) You sleep 4hrs a day to try and make time for a life outsideof subspace
140) You wasted 1:30 on the message board.
141) 99% of html writen is related to SS.
142) Arrow keys, shift, ctrl, and tab rubed off.
143) Want to put sis's boy friend on hit list, in order to attainmore play time. (or get him addicted to SS)
144) You have ever crashed an entire lab of computers, because theMAN says you cant play SS in there anymore.
145) You develop deep feelings for the female subspace pilots.smooch
146) You develop deep feelings for the male subspace pilots. *j/k*
147) You split with your girlfriend/boyfriend/husband/wife oversubspace
148) People start copying your macros.
149) You avoid using your default handle to avoid duel ladderchallenges.
150) You spend more time in spec mode than playing.
151) You start having nightmares about the sound that collectinggreens makes.
152) You start to feel embarrassed when people yell out your namewhen you enter the game.
153) You feel insulted if no one says hello to you when you enterthe game.
154) Your eyesight deteriorates from chatting with tombstone.
155) You develop a taste for dance/hip hop from listening to hiswav's.
156) Your address book contists entirely of subspace players' emailaddresses.
157) Your bookmarks consist entirely of subspace related links.
158) You stop responding to people addressing you by your realname.
159) You think about changing your real name to your handle.
160) You give up downloading warez/porno to play subspace more.
161) You miss Ljc
162) The best thing that happened to you all week is logging on tospeed with 10 seconds left on the timer.
163) The worst thing that happened was when you had -99.8% YtoS pl
165) You're certain Wayne Hall is behind a conspiracy to stop youfrom playing.
166) You know who Wayne Hall is.
167) You bombed Wayne Hall's house cuz he made your ISP suk j/k
168) You think epoch.net and netcom are a gift to this planet.
169) People ask you for a freq even when you're obviously on a pubfreq.
170) You jack off to Subspace instead of porno.
171) You've visited the Subspace homepage more times than you'vevisited Persian Kitty.
172) You dream about winning a flag game.
173) Food? What the hell is food?
174) You or your squad appear on the top 10 list.
175) You get po'd if you figure out you're #11.
176) You have an insane number of handles, each with their owntraits and personalities.
177) The warzone winning music is more exiting than Pearl Jam.
178) You piss in your pants if it reads "No Response" all the waydown.
179) You've ever reached 1000 bounty on your own.
180) You kill 1000 bounty players with ease.
181) You've been reading single replies to this list but noticedthat you could've just read the last one.
182) You consider doing a good copy of this list for all's sake.
183) You read through the whole list and think: I've done all that!
184) You try and make a midterm test and write SubSpace instead ofyour name (and include your Handle on all questions)
185) When you start walking towards the computer your wife freaksout and starts screaming NOOOOOOOOOOOO!
186) Your wife wants to make a phone call and you get safe andfight about it!
187) If you have read all the way to this point!
188) Had a desire to put your two cents in casue it would be cool!
189) Because you laughed and understood all previous 188 reasons!
190) Wife has deleted the program 3 times and you just download itagain!
191) You've cut and pasted the entire list into a MS Word file,including the names of the posters at the bottom of each section inorder to give due credit. (Just did it)
192) You intend on printing out the list to thumbtack onto a corkboard in your room.
193) You give the file to whoever wants it. (Any takers?)
194) You keep three 3 liter bottles of soda on the chair next toyou for long-lasting close-by refreshments or a safe zone break(Pathmark brand orange, cola, and citrus cooler baby!).
195) You brag that your country is better because it has the bestSubSpace pilots.
196) You want VIE to hold a SubSpace Olympics to prove to the guywho claims his country is better than yours is wrong.
197) You keep a large jar next to your computer to save time duringpotty breaks. (Not me on this one)
198) The female players figure out how to use that jar effectivelywithout spilling. (PLEASE FORGIVE ME!!!! )
199) You look up after intense combat and see the sun coming up outthe window.
200) You've assisted in getting this list over 200 entries.

[Predator Rulez]

Part 3

201) You get your dad into the game.
202) You regret getting your dad into the game because he's hoggingthe computer now. (Darn you Quixdraw!)
203) You decide to catch up on some missed sleep from playingSubSpace because your dad is hogging the computer.
204) You wake up to the sound of your dad screaming about how badthe lag is.
205) You consider putting a copy of SubSpace on the laptop andhooking a modem up to it just to whip your father's arse in the game.
206) Someone cuts you off on a highway and you scream at them, "YOUDARN LAMER! TRY THAT WHEN I'M FULLY GREENED!"
207) You try to fire off a repel when stuck in a traffic jam. (Alsoworks with warp)
208) You build up so much credibility in your SubSpace handle thatsome jealous lamer decides to write a false post on the trash board andsign your handle to it, just to discredit your name. (I KNOW who you are and yourarse is mine!!!!)
209) You ignore the movie on the TV when it gets to a dirty partbecause your so engrossed in the game. (Only works with the guys, I hopethis compensates for 198 )
210) You think SubSpace is the perfect medium for those Dungeon andDragon style role playing games. (not the video game version, you knowwhat I mean)
211) DARN! I just drank the last of the orange soda!
212) You wish the original Asteroids could have been this good.
213) You see one of those street corner mimes imitating apedestrian and wonder which one is the decoy.
214) You shoot the mime to see if the bullets pass through it andsee if it's the decoy. (Or that's the excuse you gave the cops, you knowthe real reason why you shot the mime )
215) 1-900-SUB-SPACE (Need I say more?)
216) You learn neat ways of tricking the newbies into going into aprivate arena. (ex: Masamune>3Yeah, I heard if you type ?godmode, youget superpower. Oops!) AND IT WORKS EVERY TIME!!!
217) You go to Warzone at 5AM to win the flag game alone just tosee what happens. (By the way, you only get one point out of it. )
218) You write short stories with characters based on playershandles based upon SubSpace. (Not me, yet.)
219) You just wrote all this in MS Word, and when you hit thereload button in Netscape, someone has already posted in front of youand you realize you have to change ALL the numbers!
220) You've just added 30 entries to the list, mostly based onstuff that you do. (Notice I said MOSTLY)
221) You read the post that took your spot and see it's onlyflaming, so you are relieved that you don't have to change all thenumbers. (WHEW!)
222) Everytime you hear a chirp (a bird maybe) you think it is aprivate message for you.
223) You know most of the people in every zone
224) All of your dreams are about subspace
225) You've considered working for burst just to play this for freewhen it goes pay
226) Subspace is burned into your monitor
227) Everywhere you look you see the subspace radar screen
228) You have taken 20 megs worth of subspace screen shots
229) You want this list to have it's own site
230) You have already made the site
231) You memorized this list
232) You stay up all night reading and adding to this list
233) You refer to your Camaro as "fast as a Javelin" (yes, i have)
234) You post for a SECOND time in this list
235) You try to find the PERFECT music for playing SubSpace (I'vefound it, btw)
236) You don't know what ship to choose because you can fly themall
237) You also know all the special tactics for all ship types
238) Newbies think you're with the SubSpace team
239) In Running somebody starts complaining to you about a cheaterin Speed
240) You leave SubSpace to return shortly after because you seemedto have nothing better to do
241) You actually did have something better to do
242) The only things on your desk that are accessable through thelitter are your monitor and your keyboard
243) There's 5 inches of dust on your floor because you hadn'ttaken the time to vacuum it
244) Your TV has been broken for a month, but you don't care
245) You can't even find your TV's remote in all the litter flungaround (goddammit, where is it)
246) You have to sign something with your real name, you find itstrange
247) You have even sometimes signed something with your SubSpacehandle
248) You skip classes just to play SubSpace late
249) You are not at all surprised this list is coming towards 250
250) You are not at all surprised this list is at 250
251) You are not at all surprised this list is over 251
252) You start thinking of trash just to get this list over 250
253) Your ash tray is hidden somewhere under a pile of ash
254) You have devised a way to play with one hand, so you won'thave to pause to take a cigarette
255) You see Burst as God and MCI as Satan
256) You consider JeffP, Rodvik, Juan and Wayne to be gods
257) Even though you know they have their own religions
258) You are actually thinking of going to pay (j/k)
259) You don't understand why the Tab key doesn't work when you'replaying TieFighter
260) You've placed a bet on how far this list will go
261) Your target bty is so high you see a bright blue once in amonth
262) Your own bounty's average is far above that number
263) You're actually deliberately thinking of what to add to thislist
264) You appologise to Tremyr for cutting the grass right in frontof him (sorry Tremyr)
265) You have bookmarked Tremyr's site
266) You're considering on adding the URL to your standard HTMLmessage form
267) You're going to do just that
268) You add Tremyr's two lines here:
269) Family members have to pick up the phone to mess up yourinternet connection which kicks you off so they can use the phone!
270) Your girlfriend just stands there as you and four of yourfriends talk about SubSpace.
271) Nintendo? What's a Nintendo?
272) You think exterminators are the best SubSpace players sincethey kill wasps regularly.
273) You showed your dad what you wrote about him in entries 201 to205.
274) You'll go through the 5 stages of tragedy when SS goes pay.(Denial, barganing, etc.)
275) You design new ships with different abilities for SS.
276) You submit them to Rod and Jeff for evaluation.
277) They actually accept them.
278) You submit to Weight Watchers that becoming addicted to SS ita good way to lose weight. (You eat less and burn calories throughscreaming and body english)
279) You write letters to various rock and alternative bands togive one of their songs to VIE to use as the 1 minute warning music inWar and Speed zones, just to get that techno crap out of there!!! (j/k)
280) You get your in-laws with heart conditions into SS, just tocollect their life insurance earlier. Masamune
281) You made copies of this list in French, German, Japanese andSpanish
282) You LEARN French, German, Japanese and Spanish so you cancurse at lamers in their native tongue
283) You seriously consider a trip around the world to personallythrottle the begeezus out of some lamers who desparately need it.
284) Your "home" keys are now Ctrl, tab, arrow keys and shift.
285) Your hand is deformed so pressing those keys rapidly andprecicly seems like no big deal.
286) The Subspace team FINNALY lets you customize your keyboardinterface and you don't care, you're used to it now.
287) After staring at the monitor for 30 consecutive hours you geta splitting headache, but you don't stop.
288) You play more subspace in hopes that the headache will goaway, of course it doesn't, but you play more anyway.
289) You thought you would be very clever and post something aboutsubspace a lot of people would respond to. they did, and now loading themessage board crashes your web browser (not kidding).
290) You start up subspace and all the zones are "No response" soyou play offline in hopes that it will satisfy your need.
291) It does.
292) You green up to a bounty of more than 200 while doing it.
293) You attempt to engage people in converations about Subspacewho don't care. i.e. "Nice shoes grandma, wanna hear about how I vulcheda 5-stack turret worth over 2000 bounty?!"
294) You laughed your butt off when a friend wanted to bet you 50$this list would not get over 1000. You now want to take that bet.
295) He has withdrawn his offer.
296) A friend playing on the computer across the room asks youwhere the turret you're driving is, you tell him, and then hear a bunchof keyboard clicking. You then say "I'm sure you're going to use that info to stay away,not tell your frequency" the keyboard clicking stops.
297) It starts again and you throw a chair at him.
298) You miss because you are too busy playing Subspace!
299) The game is going pay and you hope it will not be more than50$ because you know you'd pay it.
300) Your boss walks in and says "Are you plying subspace again?!"and only cares because you are hogging the Pentium 21" HE wasnt to playSubspace on.

Muaha! elite list! I bet all you newbie basers are like "OMFG, I DO SAY LOL IN REAL LIFE"

LATAAAH!!! :fear:

[GHB]

yeah I totally do all of that Predator Rulez

[Predator Rulez]

!

I had to edit a Shitload of smiley's out.. cuz we have this gay forum that only allows a certain amount of it.. ohwell.. Enjoy reading :turned:

[Predator Rulez]

yeah I totally do all of that Predator Rulez

Stfu gay faglord baser.. :P YOU DO! I KNOW IT!

[PrOnEsSim]

im not reading that

[soup]

yeah I totally do all of that Predator Rulez

lol

i'm happy it doensn't count for me

[Asmodeus]

lol...I gave up reading after I hit the 40th one.

You have way too much time on your hands Pred, addicted SS nerd. :P

[Arikel]

Lol read the first 20... then i found out they were 300 :greedy:
Funneh!

[PrOnEsSim]

Lol read the first 20... then i found out they were 300 :greedy:
Funneh!

same here and hi arikel ^-^

[Mr. Peanuts]

Stolen.

[Anduril.]

Lol ... I recognise sooooooooo many things in that list !
Especially number 54 about failing ur university stuff because you never went to class cuz of playing SubSpace... totally happened to me
But yah .. Happens I guess.

[Kuukunen]

I had to edit a Shitload of smiley's out.. cuz we have this gay forum that only allows a certain amount of it.. ohwell.. Enjoy reading :turned:

You know you could've turned smilies off too? :P

I think it was from www.subspace.net, I read it years ago. Me thinks it's mostly for SVS zones too.

[bubbles19518]

Well I read the first hundred or so.... Very well thought out pred. Good job.