Hello. My dilemma is this: I love my guitar, but my guitar don't love me back. What should I do? Stevie Ray Vaughn's guitar was his first wife, she didn't speak to him, she spoke for him. That's the kind of relationship I'm trying to develop with it.
Dr. Zaius Replies:
As much as I work with your kind, you humans never cease to baffle me. It is bizarre and pathetic that you expect your "love" for an inanimnate object to be returned. The real problem is that music is a high art, and as such it requires a higher intelligence, and a fully developed set of emotions. Give up.
Zone Name: SSCU Trench Wars
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Ünited Stätes Toughens Image With Umlauts WASHINGTON, DC—In a move designed to make the United States seem more "bad-assed and scary in a quasi-heavy-metal manner," Congress passed a bill Monday changing the nation's name to the Ünited Stätes of Ämerica. "Much like Mötley Crüe and Motörhead, the Ünited Stätes is not to be messed with," said Sen. James Inhofe (R-OK). An upcoming redesign of the Ämerican flag will feature the new name in burnished silver wrought in a jagged, gothic font and bolted to a black background. A new national anthem is also in the works, to be written by composer Glenn Danzig and tentatively titled "Howl Of The She-Demon."
Ünited Stätes Toughens Image With Umlauts WASHINGTON, DC—In a move designed to make the United States seem more "bad-assed and scary in a quasi-heavy-metal manner," Congress passed a bill Monday changing the nation's name to the Ünited Stätes of Ämerica. "Much like Mötley Crüe and Motörhead, the Ünited Stätes is not to be messed with," said Sen. James Inhofe (R-OK). An upcoming redesign of the Ämerican flag will feature the new name in burnished silver wrought in a jagged, gothic font and bolted to a black background. A new national anthem is also in the works, to be written by composer Glenn Danzig and tentatively titled "Howl Of The She-Demon."
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