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A haters guide to DTB

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  • A haters guide to DTB

    I’m not guessing lineups because so much of that depends on who shows I’m more gonna talk about the individuals of these teams and how i think they will play together.

    Stray: Sorry to the funniest guy in Iceland, but this team has no shot in base because Zapata will definately screw himself over, by lagging out no showing randomly or playing from his grandmas house where he somehow is unable to change his keybinds and get a solid 2.6 RPD. Sarger will do his shot while TJ hazuki and Hellzno push suicidally while Commodo blows them up by over bombing. Sometimes this will work and look nice other times it will cause laughs from all 3 ppl in spec. This team only has 2 10*s and then the highest up is 8.5 so let’s see if spamming the mid ranked players works out here. Only issue I see is a lot of the mid ranked got boosted so they arn’t as broken I.E Banzi at 8. Anyway enough about a team with no shot

    Terrorist: Get a new name Dreamwin this one is boring and insensitive right now! Think about Mossad!!! Despite being named terrorist this spider line is soft as charmine. I would love to see Henry, PA, Lock and Frozen in the same line. It would be however the most polite spider line in TW history since all of them would be saying after you when trying to push in cram. I like Cig and Vio for sharks. Cig is now definitely underrated at 8.5 since his fingers have returned to form after who knows what he did in Jail. Violence is as random as the things he says, but I have yelled at him enough to win with him before so it is doable. Hopefully he has learned from my teachings or yellings.

    Power: Nerdiest team in DT for sure and the love Zidane has for Genx reminds me of his love for Ogron. With ogron not playing it is only natural that Zid needs someone he is comfortable with that he knows has a room filled with hundreds of fast food cartons from Uber Eats. I know they won’t be on coms because the only time I seen Zidane on Coms was when Mercedes was gettin busy and that is unlikely to happen with Genx around being a natural woman repellent. Anyway Skat is sick and Zid will finally see what playing with an actual 10* that isn’t afraid to drop close to the flag. Ogron is 100% jealous and has sent Zid multiple hate msg’s for drafting Zizu. Oh look beam is on this team, no surprise there. Look for this team to appeal matches and Beam to make an appearance in shark and get specced quickly because without the ability to run this guy is straight up a piece of shit out there. If Skat doesn’t show this team will lack spid power super hard. Anyway I hope this team loses because it is just such a nerd fest.

    Bunnies: Run by spartan who acts more like a persian in one of those movies looks to have a solid team. Rough Spartan and auto in spid will be tough for most teams, but aprix in terr is probably scary as fuck. If they can fit hulk and Sprackle in they have very good shark powah. If spartan actually tries he is a very good spid, but he might try and act cool mid game and start trying to shoot through some sort of weird tube or something. This team has the highest troll factor between spartan and sparkle who may be brothers or just kindred spirits.

    Pure Luck: Me and Hellboat as spiders oh my lord this feels like the mighty ducks and I’m with my bash brother. I don’t even know what my lineup will be because Tiny will have traded half our roster by next week. The ZU and Rabbit under HOLY ALIE! Under rated for under? I like it anyway and if mouse is happy with his team that is a surprise and probably says a lot. Dwopple will definitely piss me off by trying to bomb and I told Omega I wouldn’t shark him as a 5* last game and now he is sharking for me so that is some good irony. Omega if you suck dick so help me Mossad. If creature no shows who the fuck is our 5th spid tiny?

    Ethereal - A name as gay as the captain of this party bus has drafted himself a lot of multi shippers, which he will inevitably overthink and put people in a different ship every game. Look for mid game swapping this crazy cowboy, while VYS screams to put him in a warbird for 80% of the game saying he is the goat. Thank fuck I am not on this team and a lot of you probably feel the same way. Look for rozay shooting a line shot under or a line shot into cram with an 8% aim that is why ur a 7* bud. Ekko if you need some lineup tips I’m here to help, cuz I think using that lineup tool will be dangerous for your team. Hint don’t terr yourself when Cape is available. Fuckin goof I prolly just saved him a game or 2 this season. Oh ya look for Will trying to act like Sprackle and try to shrap everything instead of reppin for his team. Prolly a 5% chance of success but hey keep doin it while ur spids suffer. This team will be on coms, but Rucci will be playing while holding a baby complaining that people aren't dying as he shoots walls. Solid middle of the road team!

    Prime - What a shit name Racka holy fuck that is so unoriginal. This team depends on renzi’s bike schedule… The one he rides without a seat! Anyway you picked River 5th that is even dumber than your name dude! From what I have heard he can’t make base because of some dog schedule? Yikes! Probably better off anyway but it doesn’t look like you have a 2nd shark Gl Joe who is coming off the IR for breaking something jerkin off too much. Picking spookedone at terr with river in shark. You might say you are good in base now, but ur picks tell me your still a newb. Look for this team to lose base once and never make it back inside until renzi tilts.

    Cloud - Mythril showing his love for final fantasy! Watch out for him trying to get you signed up for ff14 and then never playing with you. Stayon abs myth and mikkiz is a high star fiesta making this a team of highs and lows. 39.5* into 4 people leave you with a 7.3* average add (I did math holy fuck). I think it is pretty hard to win with this strat since maybe u will add TPZ at 8.5 leaving u 3 7 stars left. Mercedes Paky dude and some1? I dunno it looks pretty tough to win in that case Mercedes is a total babe though so that definitely has some moral boosts for the troops at the Cloud USO show. Look for Zid Beam and Genx in perverts row for that show (Genx and Beam wearing dog collars that Zid holds)

    Have fun with DT Fellas
    Last edited by MousE; 10-11-2023, 04:43 PM.

  • #2
    I have never seen this sarcastically toxic/Grade-A TWDT shittalk side of mouse before and I gotta say I'm pretty bricked up after reading this. I'm dying.

    zidane> big play
    Omega Red> dwop sick
    mr mime> its called an orca smash u uncultured fk
    WillBy> ^^

    1:Chief Utsav> LOL
    1:Rule> we dont do that here.

    cripple> can u get pregnant if u cum in gf's ass


    • #3
      amazing write up
      1:Riverside> you guys eat schmores in america?


      • #4
        Originally posted by MousE View Post
        Cloud - Mythril showing his love for final fantasy! Watch out for him trying to get you signed up for ff14 and then never playing with you.
        LOOOOL 10/10 read
        PattheBat> steadman your name is literally "a mean std"
        ogron> CM,OPN NMKAN


        • #5
          Mouse hating on "campers" like myself and cripple but have 10 more TeKs last dt. Interesting!!!


          • #6
            good luck Tiny


            • #7
              It's not me I worry about, its our sharks, poor guys.....
              1:waven> u challenge
              1:waven> if i challenge it looks too scary

              Originally posted by MHz
              Hope you contract ebola from your, no doubt cheap, Easter Egg, you fucking shit-jav, pug-faced cunt.


              • #8
                Originally posted by MousE View Post
                Oh ya look for Will trying to act like Sprackle and do my job for me instead of reppin exclusively for me.
                Wow had to go back and double check but you're right, I kinda did do your job for you.

                Click image for larger version  Name:	willby teks.png Views:	0 Size:	24.4 KB ID:	1364665

                Click image for larger version  Name:	mouse teks.png Views:	0 Size:	42.1 KB ID:	1364667


                • #9
                  This was golden! Most polite spider line looking to prove you wrong. At least we are contenders for the sportsmanship award of the year if your prediction is right.
                  Season 12 champion TWLD / TWLJ
                  Season 18 champion TWLJ / TWLB
                  Season 19 champion TWLB (C)

                  Season 6 champion TWDT-J TWDT-B (C)
                  Season 10 champion TWDT-J (C)
                  Season 11 champion TWDT-B (C)
                  Season 13 champion TWDT-B (C)
                  Season 17 TRIPLE CROWN TWDT (C)

                  The winningest TWDT captain of all time


                  • #10
                    Originally posted by MousE View Post

                    If Skat doesn’t show this team will lack spid power super hard.
                    Well, you're not wrong about this part but somehow after 2 weeks without him we are still in 1st place. If skat does ever come back that might just secure us the medal.
                    rEnZi> just looking at rageritual tilts me
                    rEnZi> its crazy
                    rEnZi> thats real power

                    Siaxis> yo it was way harder to kill Rage then beam in that dtd