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Sage vs. Pandora
Let's just get straight to it, shall we? There are a few reasons why this game was important. It appears as though Dice, Penetrate, Sage and Pandora are not going to lose to any squads outside of themselves. The other squads are essentially competing for the opportunity to lose in the first round of playoffs (God help me if I lose to one of those teams after saying this shit). That being said, in addition to the two first-round bye spots, these tier one match ups are opportunities for each squad to feel each other out ew and see what their players are capable of. So I decided to play some of the spiders I wasn't so sure about and see how they could hang against a good squad before the playoffs. Damn this is already sounding like a hot or not excuse thread.
Sage's line up is well known to this author, I taught them everything they know, and now they have taken my secrets and turned them against me, staff claims it is not grounds for appeal but it does seems shady to me. Their spiders, diakkka, glavitit, helkite, mmpoop and squalpfft8 all play in the same house and yell out verbal commands giving themselves an unfair advantage. On the same router erm squad is shark memelvagor who has successfully replaced me with crynium and the terr Isuzu who is, I'm sure, a great guy. If you want your name spelled right, do not beat the vat. These spiders and sharks pushed AS ONE in fr battles, were able to hold a cram for more than 16 seconds, and did not play like they had a 20 inch string of star-shaped play-doh poop slowly escaping from their asses throughout the match. The same cannot be said for Pandora, however.
Wo there, you are being a little harsh, you might be saying to your cat right now if you were tabarnak. Well it was a close game, with Sage winning 15:00 - 13:05, but lordy, from my end it was horrifying. My ringers, Sarger and Renzi, were having trouble. Why? you might ask. Because of the one thing that separates winners from losers in close match ups--campage. Now, I don't want to single out any of my players, one does not berate his squad in public, but will you please move ahead with me when I push, pretty please? I could tell you the other errors I saw, shooting sharks without reps, not shooting sharks with reps, etc etc but let's not get bogged down in the details, shall we? We Pandorians do not take losses well. Renzi was so irate that he demanded that I allow him to sacrifice one of the campers to Vishnu, I closed my eyes and pointed vaguely at the encampment my spiders had set up outside the base, and I suppose pardon was in the wrong place at the wrong time. We all felt bad afterwards (except Renzi) but it was too late, there was no turning back now, with depth like a tide pool there is no need for the flotsom and jetsom, and besides, I heard from someone that Pardon once said he was better than me, fuck him.
Hot: Glavitik: 118-66, died 9 more times than Pardon and got Mvp I wonder how.
Not: Pardon: I may make a habit of axing and giving not-of-the-week to one of my players each time we lose, I'll stop when morale improves.
Spastic vs. Paladen
Well I think most of us had Spastic to win this one. Who would have thought that we would be reading about Paladen in the second best match of the day, and yet here they are in a must-win if they are to keep playoff hopes alive. But it's only week four! you say. You have forgotten that there are essentially only two open spots for TWLB playoffs as the top four squads are pretty much locked. So enough of that shit, this was an awesome game, I switched to look at the other two games going on and they were crap compared to this match-up.
Paladen was winning for a good deal of the game. Spec chat was a flutter as Paladen had the lead going past their tenth minute of flag time and looked like they were going to steal a huge upset. On paper, Spastic's spiders are better. They have more experience, they have the only proven all-star in Jamal, they have players you would race to pick first in a go base game if go base was ever played these days. Paladen has players you would pick last in go base because you don't know who they are. But having unrecognizable names did not stop them from owning Spastic for the first half of the game.
It seemed like Spastic was constantly being cornered in the flag room battles, and Spastic was having difficulty asserting themselves early on. Their biggest problem was their sharks who were out of sync and making small errors which added up to allow Paladen to control the pace of battle. If the spec chat had any influence on the game Paladen would have been able to hold a five minute cram to win the game, but it appears as though our desire for a monumental upset was in vain. Spastic regained their composure, broke through Paladen's defenses and tied the game at 12 minutes a piece before killing Rageritual for the 7th time and going onto hold a three minute cram, winning 15:00 - 12:16.
Hot: Jamal: MVP with 132 kills, Jamal stood out in the fr battles and moved the action to the opposing squad's side of the base.
Not: Meddi / Fructose: Not to the winning team how dare he! Look, Paladen put up a hell of a match for what they are going up against and you guys let them way too far into the game. Iron out that timing if you want to beat Thunder and make playoffs.
Thunder vs. Hit: Well, I'm going to be honest, I flipped to your game, saw the score was 10-2, and moved on. If you want something more to be said about you in the future I suggest you allow your opponent to get as much flag time as Paladen did this week. Heisman says he only had three starters show up. Someone should tell him that he only has three starters on his squad and none of them showed. Thunder wins 15:00 - 2:35.
Dice vs. Disoblige: Well, I'm going to be honest, I flipped to your game, saw the score was 10-2, and moved on. Dice put in their top line lol, who are they being meaner to, their own benchers or Disoblige I'm really not sure. Dice wins 15:00 - 4:39.
Anti-Scrub vs. Penetrate: This game reminded me of Pandora vs. Thunder earlier in the season, in that although they lost, A-S put up such a good battle that it is becoming easier to see them and Thunder making playoffs every week. A-S had what appears to be their best line available, allowing them to put downfall and ephemeral in shark and move teh super into spider where be belongs. Unfortunately, lag seemed to be a small issue for each of their sharks, costing them 1 lagout a piece. Penetrate had their main guns in, including Cintra, Trasher and Tsumetai, but lacked their leading shark Veloce.
Penetrate's spiders were superior, but were unable to catch Brookus who made some nice ports to keep his squad alive in one of many flag room engagements. Though A-S was able to break Pene's cram fairly well, Cintra refused to yield the throne and only died once throughout the game. Brookus fell 8 times, however, and A-S was unable to win a fr battle when they needed to, losing the game 15:00 - 11:36. By the way, I didn't stick around to watch this game, I think 2 hours of TW is enough for any given Sunday, and everything I just told you was a fucking lie.
Week 5 Predictions:
Pandora vs. Anti-Scrub: Hopefully the sight of Pardon's rotten, hanging corpse will convince Pandora spiders to push.
Penetrate vs. Paladen: Another obligatory hot or not statement issued from me saying how Paladen played good but still lost.
Spastic vs. Disoblige: Word.
Dice vs. Thunder: These predictions write themselves.
Sage vs. Hit: Would you rather have a bye week or play Hit? It's nice to be able to give benchers a shot in LB, but it would also be nice to just not think about LB for a week and go hunt some whores and fuck some boars. Or is it the other way around.
Let's just get straight to it, shall we? There are a few reasons why this game was important. It appears as though Dice, Penetrate, Sage and Pandora are not going to lose to any squads outside of themselves. The other squads are essentially competing for the opportunity to lose in the first round of playoffs (God help me if I lose to one of those teams after saying this shit). That being said, in addition to the two first-round bye spots, these tier one match ups are opportunities for each squad to feel each other out ew and see what their players are capable of. So I decided to play some of the spiders I wasn't so sure about and see how they could hang against a good squad before the playoffs. Damn this is already sounding like a hot or not excuse thread.
Sage's line up is well known to this author, I taught them everything they know, and now they have taken my secrets and turned them against me, staff claims it is not grounds for appeal but it does seems shady to me. Their spiders, diakkka, glavitit, helkite, mmpoop and squalpfft8 all play in the same house and yell out verbal commands giving themselves an unfair advantage. On the same router erm squad is shark memelvagor who has successfully replaced me with crynium and the terr Isuzu who is, I'm sure, a great guy. If you want your name spelled right, do not beat the vat. These spiders and sharks pushed AS ONE in fr battles, were able to hold a cram for more than 16 seconds, and did not play like they had a 20 inch string of star-shaped play-doh poop slowly escaping from their asses throughout the match. The same cannot be said for Pandora, however.
Wo there, you are being a little harsh, you might be saying to your cat right now if you were tabarnak. Well it was a close game, with Sage winning 15:00 - 13:05, but lordy, from my end it was horrifying. My ringers, Sarger and Renzi, were having trouble. Why? you might ask. Because of the one thing that separates winners from losers in close match ups--campage. Now, I don't want to single out any of my players, one does not berate his squad in public, but will you please move ahead with me when I push, pretty please? I could tell you the other errors I saw, shooting sharks without reps, not shooting sharks with reps, etc etc but let's not get bogged down in the details, shall we? We Pandorians do not take losses well. Renzi was so irate that he demanded that I allow him to sacrifice one of the campers to Vishnu, I closed my eyes and pointed vaguely at the encampment my spiders had set up outside the base, and I suppose pardon was in the wrong place at the wrong time. We all felt bad afterwards (except Renzi) but it was too late, there was no turning back now, with depth like a tide pool there is no need for the flotsom and jetsom, and besides, I heard from someone that Pardon once said he was better than me, fuck him.
Hot: Glavitik: 118-66, died 9 more times than Pardon and got Mvp I wonder how.
Not: Pardon: I may make a habit of axing and giving not-of-the-week to one of my players each time we lose, I'll stop when morale improves.
Spastic vs. Paladen
Well I think most of us had Spastic to win this one. Who would have thought that we would be reading about Paladen in the second best match of the day, and yet here they are in a must-win if they are to keep playoff hopes alive. But it's only week four! you say. You have forgotten that there are essentially only two open spots for TWLB playoffs as the top four squads are pretty much locked. So enough of that shit, this was an awesome game, I switched to look at the other two games going on and they were crap compared to this match-up.
Paladen was winning for a good deal of the game. Spec chat was a flutter as Paladen had the lead going past their tenth minute of flag time and looked like they were going to steal a huge upset. On paper, Spastic's spiders are better. They have more experience, they have the only proven all-star in Jamal, they have players you would race to pick first in a go base game if go base was ever played these days. Paladen has players you would pick last in go base because you don't know who they are. But having unrecognizable names did not stop them from owning Spastic for the first half of the game.
It seemed like Spastic was constantly being cornered in the flag room battles, and Spastic was having difficulty asserting themselves early on. Their biggest problem was their sharks who were out of sync and making small errors which added up to allow Paladen to control the pace of battle. If the spec chat had any influence on the game Paladen would have been able to hold a five minute cram to win the game, but it appears as though our desire for a monumental upset was in vain. Spastic regained their composure, broke through Paladen's defenses and tied the game at 12 minutes a piece before killing Rageritual for the 7th time and going onto hold a three minute cram, winning 15:00 - 12:16.
Hot: Jamal: MVP with 132 kills, Jamal stood out in the fr battles and moved the action to the opposing squad's side of the base.
Not: Meddi / Fructose: Not to the winning team how dare he! Look, Paladen put up a hell of a match for what they are going up against and you guys let them way too far into the game. Iron out that timing if you want to beat Thunder and make playoffs.
Thunder vs. Hit: Well, I'm going to be honest, I flipped to your game, saw the score was 10-2, and moved on. If you want something more to be said about you in the future I suggest you allow your opponent to get as much flag time as Paladen did this week. Heisman says he only had three starters show up. Someone should tell him that he only has three starters on his squad and none of them showed. Thunder wins 15:00 - 2:35.
Dice vs. Disoblige: Well, I'm going to be honest, I flipped to your game, saw the score was 10-2, and moved on. Dice put in their top line lol, who are they being meaner to, their own benchers or Disoblige I'm really not sure. Dice wins 15:00 - 4:39.
Anti-Scrub vs. Penetrate: This game reminded me of Pandora vs. Thunder earlier in the season, in that although they lost, A-S put up such a good battle that it is becoming easier to see them and Thunder making playoffs every week. A-S had what appears to be their best line available, allowing them to put downfall and ephemeral in shark and move teh super into spider where be belongs. Unfortunately, lag seemed to be a small issue for each of their sharks, costing them 1 lagout a piece. Penetrate had their main guns in, including Cintra, Trasher and Tsumetai, but lacked their leading shark Veloce.
Penetrate's spiders were superior, but were unable to catch Brookus who made some nice ports to keep his squad alive in one of many flag room engagements. Though A-S was able to break Pene's cram fairly well, Cintra refused to yield the throne and only died once throughout the game. Brookus fell 8 times, however, and A-S was unable to win a fr battle when they needed to, losing the game 15:00 - 11:36. By the way, I didn't stick around to watch this game, I think 2 hours of TW is enough for any given Sunday, and everything I just told you was a fucking lie.
Week 5 Predictions:
Pandora vs. Anti-Scrub: Hopefully the sight of Pardon's rotten, hanging corpse will convince Pandora spiders to push.
Penetrate vs. Paladen: Another obligatory hot or not statement issued from me saying how Paladen played good but still lost.
Spastic vs. Disoblige: Word.
Dice vs. Thunder: These predictions write themselves.
Sage vs. Hit: Would you rather have a bye week or play Hit? It's nice to be able to give benchers a shot in LB, but it would also be nice to just not think about LB for a week and go hunt some whores and fuck some boars. Or is it the other way around.
but if you were on pandora you would know i had been wanting to axe pardon for awhile now. this was just a good excuse
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