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TWL-J Season 15 - Week 7 Predictions @ 3 AM!
DarkSage vs Dice 
This week is utterly boring with no good matches, but despite that saddening fact I have decided to feature this game as the match of the week.
Dark started their season with a respectable five win streak, which really made me wonder what the fuck was going on this season, but then they faced their first tough squadron and got pummeled to death before any of them could say "PZ AAT" to each other. This, however, doesn't mean they are a bad squadron, after all they do have the infamous trio of hypocrit, zidane and children, who occasionally may get a kill or two, as we saw in the match against Thunder, meaning Dice has to be on their toes to not let shit like that ever happen again. It pains me to see Children get over two kills in a match after all. Oh snap!
Dice on the other hand has not failed to meet their expectations and started their season with a clean record of six consecutive victories, and may very well add a seventh one to that streak after this week. This winning streak is quite likely to end soon, though, as they are about to meet the headband masters Ease, EvilDeed and Exquisite, also known as the Triple E's (fuck, wish their names started with H) of Subspace -- whenever that match is, too lazy to actually check the schedule.
Leaving that aside, I believe Dice will win this fairly easily considering they have like 10 players that I consider to be good compared to Sages -- uh -- whoever they have that didn't get dropped on their head as a baby. Forgot the name of that person, but I'm sure he or she will let me know on a later date. Either way, this match will be as close as a death match featuring a chainsaw wielding Mike Tyson and a handicapped child whose only weapon is a pair of mittens and a helmet.
CONCLUSION & PREDICTION: Dice wins by a landslide (by at least 50-30), forcing Children to leave the arena and make a new makeup video for little girls on YouTube to vent his frustration, hoping that someone, somewhere, will appreciate the video he made to embarrass himself and his family.
Dynasty vs Hit 
Where should I begin? Is Dynasty even in the league anymore or have they been removed? Has Heisman managed to broaden his vocabulary to a respectable level? This is the week we shall know the answer to these two burning questions, most likely, and only those two questions considering the fact that neither of these squads have a legit chance of winning TWLJ this or any other season.
Now, I am going to be honest with you; I have no idea which players are on either of these squads nor I could care less about that fact. They are both garbage squadrons whose match is not even worth commenting on. Sorry if you were expecting something, such as real predictions, but that just isn't happening.
PREDICTION: Who gives a shit.
Disoblige vs Thunder 
Alright, I am going to say this straight -- I have never seen anyone else in this game that loves themselves more than these two: Mantra-Slider and Bram. They are people who truly think they are far above every other human being and that their level of skill exceeds even the greatest players skills in this game. At least that is what I remember during my rather short stay on Disoblige. They're good guys, I just know it deep in my heart, unfortunately they can't seem to realize that they're garbage as players.
Now moving onto the real predictions. This match will be a complete joke, which is synonymous with Disoblige this season, but it will at least be interesting to see if Struck will get some extra playing time this season as we will quite likely add our 4th string lineup to face the likes of great Bram, Soilderz, Dazzal and God knows who else is on their squad. I don't expect much from this match as they did lose to PENETRATE out of all the squadrons. But knowing Ease, he will add his faithful headband master EvilDeed to this match and he will wreck some havoc.
PREDICTION: Easy win, unable to predict as it is not known how many headbands EvilDeed will wear this weekend.
actually fuck this thread. been writing for 30 minutes now and already getting bored to death. maybe I'll continue on a later date.
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