Season 18: TWLD UNOFFICIAL Hot or Not - Week 5

[ogron]

TWLD Hot or Not -- Week 5

Weak, and his backup Attacks, said they aren't doing the HoN, so I'll fill in for them this week.


Fierce v. Enemy
50-20

Fierce curb-stomped Enemy so hard I thought I was watching American History X, as Casket (15-7) and Dak (13-6) led the way for the undefeated LD behemoth.

Lasenza (8-0) starred in his own movie, Try Hard: With A Vengeance, probably crying on their Ventrilo voice chat to make sure they coord on him so he can keep the ace.

Man of the Night's Watch Welt (6-1) fulfilled his duties guarding The Wall on bottom, but I think he'd do better as Where's Waldo, because I never saw a single enemy (or teammate) on-screen with him. This guy is like 45-6 in TWLD this season and is never on anyone else's screen -- are people on Fierce even aware this guy is on their squad?

Tripin (8-6) was the only player with a normal score. This is the biggest group of tryhards I've ever seen, with Tiny guarding their Ventrilo chat like it's the Hope Diamond. Thanks for not letting me and Mattey use it to do color commentary on an LB stream, you fucking nerd.

I hope these guys get upset again so their voice chat sounds like a group of Sperm whales letting out distress moans.

HOT: Tripin, for being the least nerdy player on Fierce

--------

Pandora v. Wolf
50-27

Wolf chose correctly in naming themselves after an animal that can be tamed, collared, and bred for submissiveness, because Pandora fucked them like bitches in this complete blowout.

Ease (13-3) led the way with a huge performance, alongside Mythril (9-5), and Kyou (14-10). beam (5-4) was luring these kids harder than a stranger with candy in a van, while big Tanzu (6-5) was also pushing hard and creating opportunities.

The only Wolfite with a solid record was muh boi Rasaq (10-10), probably because he has a little Stag in him from his time owning it up on Baratheon this summer. Paky Dude (5-10), Raazi (3-10), Stylez (5-10) and swim (4-10) were all sub-par.

Inexplicably, Paky Dude hasn't dissolved the squad yet -- my best guess is that he's lost his password or Homeland Security has finally come for him.

HOT: beam, guy has more lures than a tackle box. Great teamwork, sacrificing for others, and a positive attitude in chat

-----

Paladen v. Juans

Jebass is an amazing leader, a fantastic wb, and has a deep understanding of the game... are things I would say if I had a brain aneurism. Juans must love the AARP, because they just handed one of their members a 12-8 in TWLD.

Of course, Jebass's game-of-his-life still wasn't good enough to eclipse Paladen's best player, FatRolls (15-7). This guy is a golden god in WB. Spezza never stops talking about how good this guy is.

Spezza loves FatRolls more than Tiny loves welfare checks.

People I've never heard of Ready for Anything (10-5), little buddhist (8-7), and Sawyer (5-4) also did well, in the way you would tell a child he did well beating up a Pinata.

Juans is perhaps the worst joke squad name in TW History, but at least they're consistent by being terrible in every league they play. Roiwerk, Risk, and Fiora were all awful as expected. My only regret is they aren't using their Juan pun names so I can go ham on them.

Thankfully, they have as player named SKILLder who went 2-10. Haven't seen a Player Name to score Irony level this high since 24 went -1-10 in LJ last year.

NOWYOUDIE (14-10) was the only Juan to get over 6 kills.

HOT: Fatrolls. This guy is gonna be a starter on Fierce next year. Someone buy him a 200$ headset so he's ready for the Ventrilo teamwork experience.

-----

Value v. Savanger
50-12

I didn't think it was possible to be worse than Juans, but Savanger proved me wrong. In a tour-de-force, they only showed four players, went 3-10, 4-10, 1-10, and 4-10, and got booted out of TWL.

It's like they put the 3 pieces of the Tri-Force together to get the Mastersword, then impaled themselves on it. Bravo.

The OG tryhard while Lasenza was still in diapers (lingerie?) Burnt (7-0) aced Wiibimbo and co., as Geisha (12-5) and WAR (12-2) vied for MVP, with Jack (6-2) and Sirius (3-3) in tow.

I didn't even know Savanger was in LD until I did this write-up, and I'll have forgotten by the time I'm done. I think it's appropriate they had a player named Gravestone in this LD, since they dissolved immediately afterwards.

HOT: WAR
NOT: These players are so bad they don't even deserve their names mentioned here. You deserve to be erased from history.



HOT OF THE WEEK: This league is a joke and none of the games were competitive, none of you deserve this award. You're all going to be erased off the map by Fierce and Pandora, nothing until then is even remotely interesting.

NOT OF THE WEEK: Savanger. Nice work losing 50-12 and dissolving. I haven't seen anyone blow this hard since LF sucked off Mega to get a few minutes of LB finals time.

[iPad]

i got ur back next week claus if u want

[Jones]

this was a poorly written hot or not 2/10

1 for effort
1 for failing to be funny

[Welfare]

How can a top 5 nerd call other people nerds?

[zidane]

i thought the post was informative and witty at the same time. good stuff brotha

[Morh]

The whole of TWL is a joke nowadays. Sure there have always been two stacked squads, that usually end up fighting for the title(s). However, in the past, at least there were a couple/few squads that had a chance to pull an upset win. Nowadays, all other squads are just trash and there is absolutely no excitement watching the games anymore.

[Tiny]

Thanks for the write up.

[Exalt]

I thought Claus did a great job. He actually knows what luring means, which apparently half of the LD Hot or Not writers never seemed to either know about, or at least never acknowledged at all. Claushouse showed he knows what he is talking about, since luring in LD is a big strategy, and people with good records aren't always the best players in games. Some players have to sacrifice their overall records in order to help their teammates get kills/stay alive/push the other squad into making mistakes. Claus actually gave those players credit (like beam) and that alone is something that I respect. I've always been a player that lures for others, and while yes, it makes your overall kills go down (due to your teammates getting easy kills from your effort), it also helps the team win.

A lot of the newer WBs in this game don't understand what luring even is, and that is why competition is so low these days. Beyond that, most of these players think that they know how to rush, which they don't. Ever since Quicksand and a few other squads did that whole "team rush" thing back in 2003/04/05, all these newer players think that rushing is the only way to go. While I agree that 5 great rushers who know how to lure for each other can be practically unstoppable, I have not seen a group of players actually do it right as a cohesive group for years. It is nice to know that a few of the vets still know what the fuck they are doing. Maybe some of these newer players will watch some TWL games and learn from that. I'm sick of watching bad players try to suicide all day and try to call it rushing. It is also annoying watching people float around without dodging. If only all the old vets played enough still to be good, TWL would be competitive still. Obviously though, squads like Fierce/Value/Pandora don't even need to practice beyond logging in for their one game a week on Sundays, because the other squads are so bad and have zero fundamental skills that it's like Allen Iverson (practice? practice?) in his prime playing against JV middle school teams. It's a joke.

Anyways, good job Claus. You get mad props from me for understanding basic WB mechanics, when so many players these days have no idea what they fuck they are talking about beyond seeing a couple good records and assuming those were the true MVPs. I liked that yo made BEAM an mvp, even with his lower overall record than others on his squad, simply because he lured the fuck out of wolf and made them miss (and thus become easy targets for the rest of his teammates). Great write-up.

[cash.MONay]

LOOOOL when the fuk does exalt not write a wall of text. For fuks sake exalt, stfu. You are not a good player or a good lurer. And when was the last time you saw a new player in this game. Don't know why this nagger keeps talking. Did you see your elim post lol? Fukin wrote an essay there.

Claushouse, great write-up. Forget the haters. Was good read. Will paypal you money for writing these again. Was best HoN thus far.

[cash.MONay]

The whole of TWL is a joke nowadays. Sure there have always been two stacked squads, that usually end up fighting for the title(s). However, in the past, at least there were a couple/few squads that had a chance to pull an upset win. Nowadays, all other squads are just trash and there is absolutely no excitement watching the games anymore.

This has been the story of TW for years. And then they complain that the game is dying lol. Circlejerk away.

[Exalt]

LOOOOL when the fuk does exalt not write a wall of text. For fuks sake exalt, stfu. You are not a good player or a good lurer. And when was the last time you saw a new player in this game. Don't know why this nagger keeps talking. Did you see your elim post lol? Fukin wrote an essay there.

Claushouse, great write-up. Forget the haters. Was good read. Will paypal you money for writing these again. Was best HoN thus far.

I don't even know who you are, never heard of you, so please, stop talking as if you know anything at all. You clearly know who I am though, and you pretend to seem to know what skill is to assume I have none (I never said I'm good anymore or even that I was the best ever 5 years ago either, but I definitely know how to play and know how to evaluate talent, which you never had any or I would've known who you were to begin with). Basically, you should probably shut the fuck up when you never had talent to begin with, and when nobody in this game even knows who you are.

This has been the story of TW for years. And then they complain that the game is dying lol. Circlejerk away.

Have you ever even played in TWL before? Seriously, have you? I've never, ever heard of you. Were you on Deadly Divas or something way back in the day? Maybe you were in Gantz back in like 2005 when they went 0-10, or maybe one of those other 0-10 TWL squads? Or are you just another Ossify type of player that never actually played a single game of TWL, but pretends to know what skill is, or even what it is like to play in TWL?

[Welfare]

beam wasn't luring anything, claus and exalt about the same skill level so it makes sense that they agree

[Exalt]

beam wasn't luring anything, claus and exalt about the same skill level so it makes sense that they agree

Did you get good in the 4 years I was gone or what? Cuz you certainly weren't last time I played subspace. Not that you ever knew what a "lure" was back then either.

BTW: If you can do better, than feel free. Write the HoN section yourself. I don't see you doing jack shit in any game beyond spec 4 rec.

Actually, do you have any aliases welfare? I looked for your name on all the TWL squads... but lo and behold... you weren't on any of them.

Alias?

[cash.MONay]

I don't even know who you are, never heard of you, so please, stop talking as if you know anything at all. You clearly know who I am though, and you pretend to seem to know what skill is to assume I have none (I never said I'm good anymore or even that I was the best ever 5 years ago either, but I definitely know how to play and know how to evaluate talent, which you never had any or I would've known who you were to begin with). Basically, you should probably shut the fuck up when you never had talent to begin with, and when nobody in this game even knows who you are.



Have you ever even played in TWL before? Seriously, have you? I've never, ever heard of you. Were you on Deadly Divas or something way back in the day? Maybe you were in Gantz back in like 2005 when they went 0-10, or maybe one of those other 0-10 TWL squads? Or are you just another Ossify type of player that never actually played a single game of TWL, but pretends to know what skill is, or even what it is like to play in TWL?

LOLOLOLOLOOOOL u mad brah? Yeh you mad! Exalt fuming. Look up my TWL rec and report back sir iOnlyBench.

And speaking of 0-10s, http://twd.trenchwars.org/showgame/90076422. Gosh you are terrible. Oh and please spare us Exalt. We don't need another one of your wall of texts! Guy does nothing but writes essays and novels on forums all day. Probably broke as fuck trying to find a job at the moment.

[Exalt]

LOLOLOLOLOOOOL u mad brah? Yeh you mad! Exalt fuming. Look up my TWL rec and report back sir iOnlyBench.

And speaking of 0-10s, http://twd.trenchwars.org/showgame/90076422. Gosh you are terrible. Oh and please spare us Exalt. We don't need another one of your wall of texts! Guy does nothing but writes essays and novels on forums all day. Probably broke as fuck trying to find a job at the moment.

pretty sure i was afk, and beyond that, my point remains.. have you ever played in twl? at all? even once? I quit for 4+ years, but you... you continue to suck.