HOT OR NOT -- Week 4

[ogron]

Hot or Not
Week 4

TWLB


Dudgeon (7-0) vs. Vikings (3-4)
15:00 - 2:44

Mikkiz (23-1) quarterbacked ahead of 2.7jet and Commodo in shark, as Vikings got JAMAULED, as the veteran led Dudgeon with an 80-36, ahead of dreamwin (72-37), KAWRAE (56-20), Zizzo (55-40) and mcvicar.

Despite the loss, the Vikings should get valuable experience/rape whistles, which should help them down the road (or in a dark alley at night.)

warportal (17-15) had a rough time in terr, as Ephemeral and Valker were overwhelmed in shark alongside their spiders, who fell 100 kills short of their opponents, as Enf (58-48), Steep (55-37), Gurliver (53-45), and Banks (47-35) fought hard, but came up short.

With that win, Dudgeon finishes 7-0 in TWLB, and clinches the #1 spot, and will take on the #4 seed in the Winners Quarter-Final two weeks hence. Kudos!

HOT: JAMAL
NOT: warportal. 15 deaths in 17 minutes, egad! You're either a very talented actor rehearsing Julius Caesar, or a very bad terr.



---

Cobra (4-3) vs. LEGO (3-4)
15:00 - 12:44

This was the best match of the week, and also the most important one, as the winner of this match would determine who would secure the 4th and final spot in the Winners Bracket, whilst the not-so-winner would fall to 5th, and start the playoffs in the Losers Bracket. Two evenly matched teams with a lot on the line made this the featured match-up in TWLB, and it proved a close one.

The game swung back and forth, with LEGO taking an early lead, as Zizu (44-7) made his season debut in strong form, making several clutch warps in succession to keep his team alive in FR, wowing spectators. It hearkened back to his prime on Sage in TWL 15, and some of that brilliance flashed across the screen, but it wouldn't last, and he succumbed to several deleterious errors that showed the rust, getting caught in a stream without pressure and bad placement in the FR, getting repped FROM THE OUTSIDE into a patch of enemy mines and dying, despite only one enemy player in the base.

Even with an uneven performance, Zizu was definitely a positive and the much stronger terr in the game. The biggest issue for LEGO was their sharks. While markmrw (2.8 RPD) and mr. homo (2.7 RPD) have made great strides this year in ship 8, and had good matches in TWLB, the moment got to them and they fell prey to over-repping, 2-repping, poor timing, and simply not making the right decisions as Cobra's vastly more experienced shark combo outclassed them at every turn, leading them to sub in DSB mid-way (and to no effect.)

LEGO's spiders played well, as shown by the 525-500 kill differential and close score, and especially considering the shark advantage their opponents enjoyed.

spikey (100-64) played well over, and the combination of himself, the campier Henry Saari (92-49), and extremely pushy Turban (67-63) proved a moderately successful tandem, as NL>Trigger (96-48) was a force under. df once again proved his ineptitude in capping a competitive TWLB squad, subbing out veteran Producer for Jatt, whilst leaving TJ Hazuki on the bench, baffling spectators once again after sitting Turban against Dudgeon. Ultimately, despite a good showing, the sharking simply let them down and they ran out of time. Good effort!

Wax (27-7) was wholly unspectacular and made some mistakes, but he played safe, stayed alive, had some good moments, and didn't throw, which is an extremely underrated (and difficult!) thing to do during a TWLB game. Every fatal error in terr typically costs a team around 2 minutes (the time to get back up, break cram, and fight your way into a 50/50 position), and in a 15-13 game, the difference between going 27-7 and 27-8 is often a win or a loss.

Cranium (2.7 RPD) and menelvagor (2.8 RPD, 28 Kills!!) proved the difference-makers ahead of rusty Sunday warriors, as Cran was the unerring backbone of the Cobra line, whilst mene launched himself like a spearhead and struck at the enemy's heart, peppering them with bombs and mines, wreaking havoc. Countless seasons and several Finals worth of experience was all too evident in the sharking disparity in this match, once again proving how important the ship is to success.

Superstar spider Trasher (111-43) led the way in ship 3, ahead of Megalo (97-62), Rodney (97-58), skatarius (86-60), and squallFF8 (71-53), as the Cobramin clawed their way back from an early deficit, and clinched the W.

As the #4 Seed, Cobra will take on #1 Dudgeon in the Winners Quarter-Final, while #5 LEGO will take on #8 Paladen in the Losers Quarter-Final. The loser of the WQF will be relegated to the Losers Bracket, while the loser of the LQF will be eliminated from TWL.

HOT: Cranium and menelvagor
NOT: Markmrw, mr. homo, and DSB. You guys must have played in your porta-potty Halloween costumes, because you got absolutely shit on.

---

You2be (1-4) vs. Paladen (0-7)
15:00 - 3:56

You2be clinched their first victory, while Paladen clenched their buttholes for the seventh time, as Eren (81-31), Fork (79-32), pee pee sock (76-57), Fiora (72-25), and DeadSorcerer (68-42) took on spidering duties. raizin and Yojimbo sharked, and euforia terred.

For Paladen, AFRI (74-57) once again proved himself the best baser on the squad, but received little help from Alextron, Dour, HMS Stargazer, Jebass, Jessup, Plasma, or Racketeer.

Congrats to You2be on their first TWLB win, and a big thanks to Paladen for showing 8 every Sunday and making an effort to compete -- it's much appreciated!

While #8 Paladen will make the playoffs, they will be eliminated two weeks from now when they take on LEGO, but hopefully they gained some valuable experience and enjoyed playing. Meanwhile, #7 You2be face an uphill battle tackling #6 Vikings, who are heavy favorites to advance to the Losers Semi-Final.

HOT: Eren
HOT: Paladen, for showing up every week, and being polite and friendly!

---

Burn (6-1) vs. Fierce (4-3)
15:00 - 2:42

Despite showing a full line, Fierce failed to make much of a dent in this game, as Everett (16-7) terred ahead of DOWNFALL (2.8 RPD) and Oder (2.7 RPD) in shark. Cripple (56-47), sphinx (51-37), Sprained (50-43), wbm (20-17) and USOi (20-21) spidered for the Royal remake.

Ogron (20-1) terred ahead of Mattey (2.9 RPD) and Zidane (2.9 RPD), as the pair punished their opponent at every turn with brutal crams, alongside Ease (83-31), hellkite (64-29), M_M God (63-24), diakka (58-32), and kess (61-21) in spider.

It was a tough day for #3 Fierce, who were coming off strong wins against LEGO and Cobra in Weeks 2 and 3, and it won't get much easier going forward, as they face off once again versus #2 Burn in the Winners Quarter-Finals.

HOT: Ease
NOT: Usoi. Usoi Usoiled himself at the site of a competent foe, and pulled out quicker than a frat boy inside a Christian pro-life advocate, getting subbed out at 20-21. Yikes!

[ogron]

TWLD



Burn vs. Cobra
50-43

Burn looked shaky early, as Cobra took a twelve kill lead despite missing several key players including Ricko, as Rasaq (12-10), vys (11-10) and Kentaro (10-10) all looked fantastic out there, pushing hard for the win. Unfortunately, skatarius and Neymar couldn't keep up, and the Cobramin fell late.

Raazi (16-7) was an absolute monster, rallying Weak (15-10), who traded his final death for the last kill of the match in stylish fashion, Ease (10-8), a struggling Mythril (4-8) who still managed to lure and stay alive, as the four wore down Cobra late and clinched the W.

Best (5-10) spent all week trolling his own team with Mighty, macro'ing !add !remove to DC their own teammates, using the names Anmesti and fahrenhiet to tell LJ players they were benched or bad, and adding themselves to basing matches in warbird and esq + q'ing if you changed them back to spider. I warned Best the last time he acted out like this he went 3-10 vs. Fierce then quit the game and disappeared for six months (TWL 18 on Pandora), as beam/geisha/rainbow tore him to shreds. Being a shitty teammate and trolling his team once again put too much pressure on his fragile ego, and he crumbled, dying out first with a 5-10 against skatarius and Neymar. Luckily (unluckily?) beam isn't around to make him quit.

HOT: Raazi
NOT: Best (5-10). Best is a talented player, make no mistake, but his inability to count to 10 has proven a liability, as he remains unable to complete the mentally taxing task of keeping his deaths at around the same number as his teammates.

---

You2be vs. Paladen
50-47

A close and exciting match! This one went down to the wire, as Raizin (14-10) led Fiora (10-9), euforia (10-9), Eren (8-10), and pee pee sock (8-9) to a well deserved victory over Paladen. Nice!

Paladen nearly pulled this one off, but fell just short, as Jebass (12-10) and Racketeer (12-10) led their team, with solid performances from Alextron (10-10) and AFRI (9-10), but ultimately Dour's doodoo 4-10 proved the difference.

HOT: raizin
NOT: dour, whose Stormtrooper-like aim was on display in this match. I recommend Jessup learn some Jedi mind tricks. This isn't the arena you're looking for.

---

Fierce vs. Paladen
50-28

DEEZ NUTS (16-8) showed no mercy, leading Last Standing, Lasenza, Tripin, and Vash to the easy W.

On the losing side, AFRI (9-10) continued his strong season in TWLD and TWLB, but no one among Alextron, Dour, Jebass, Jessup, Racketeer or Sassafras managed more than 6 kills.

HOT: DEEZ NUTS

---

LEGO vs. You2be
50-45

LEGO impressed in a close match, as ROWS (15-9) redeemed himself after a string of NOTs, slamming You2be and earning himself a HOT, ahead of Zizu (13-10), Turban (10-10), TJ Hazuki (7-9), and Henry Saari (5-7).

pee pee sock (15-10), raizin (10-10), Fiora (10-10), Eren (7-10), and euforia (3-10).

HOT: ROWS
NOT: euforia (3-10). euforia once again proves himself the antithesis of a multi-ship talent, and a liability in TWLB and TWLD. I'll tell you what my Uncle told my closeted gay cousin trying to date women: stick to handling javelins.

---

Fierce vs. Dudgeon
50-25

This was a disastrous defeat, as Deez Nuts disintegrated Dudgeon with deathly darts. Alliteration aside, Lasenza (13-7), Geio (8-2), Vash (8-6), and Tripin closed the casket on this one without much effort.

dreamwin, Rough, JAMAL, Stayon, and Zizzo all negged.

HOT: DEEZ NUTS
NOT: JAMAL (2-10). Like a Ford employee, JAMAL couldn't buy a Dodge to save his life.

---

Potenza vs. Vikings
50-41

Cres (15-7) led okyo (11-7), Served (10-9), Iron Survivor (10-9), and mental midget Dwarf (4-9) to the 9 point victory over Vikings, which is much closer than it should it have been, given the opposition.

Vikings, for their part, exceeded expectation, as Cloth (10-10), Jones (9-10), and Steep (9-10) almost led enf, Ison, and Ravos to the promised land. Jones continues to be a force in TWLD despite being on a non-competitive squad. I'm sure the rest of the league is breathing a sigh of relief Sweet isn't active this year.

HOT: Cres
NOT: Dwarf (4-9), whose dwarf-sized talent shines through week after week, unable to post more than 4 kills against the mighty Enf and Ravos. You suck at this game, I recommend a different profession. Let's use this job search app to find you one:



---

Burn vs. Dudgeon
50-34

Ease (11-4), Raazi (11-5), Weak, and Mythril took down Dudgeon comfortably by a score of 50-34, improving to 2-0 for the week in TWLD.

JAMAL, Commodo, and Zizzo almost achieved parity, but were sunk by poor games from Rough and dreamwin.

HOT: Ease
NOT: dreamwin (4-10)

---

Potenza vs. Cobra
50-37

Potenza cruised past Cobra in what was expected to be a much closer match, as Served (15-6) and Iron Lagcheat (14-8) ran roughshod over their opponents, leading okyo (9-8), Tanzu (6-1), and a pair of dookie 3-7s from Cres and Dwarf.

Creature (13-10) was the lone bright spot for the Cobramin, and vys (4-10) needed a Cobramint after Tanzu and co. were done treating his mouth like a fleshlight. Kentaro (6-10), Neymar (7-10), and Rasaq (7-10) fared little better.

HOT: Served
NOT: vys (4-10), Cres (3-7), Dwarf (3-7). A veritable cornucopica of NOTs, just in time for Thanksgiving. Like the women Dwarf fails to pleasure, The Great Pumpkin definitely isn't coming for the likes of you Charlie Browns.

---

Vikings vs. LEGO
50-39

LEGO definitely failed to impress in a match they should have won, as TWLD Scoring race leader Turban (according to Turban) put up a respectable 10-10, but didn't get much help from Zizu (6-10), Flew (7-10), ROWS (7-10), TJ Hazuki (2-4), although Joemama did have a decent sub-in with a 7-6.

Ison (18-8) had the game of his life, putting up monster numbers in the upset, leading the ever-reliable Jones (12-8), Enf (7-8), Ravos (6-6), and Steep (7-9). Awesome!

HOT: Ison the God
NOT: LEGO. Vikings, like Chris Brown, beat someone they probably shouldn't, and the results are visible for the world to see.

[ogron]

TWLJ


Burn (7-1) vs. Potenza (3-5)
50-37

kess (14-7) turned in a big performance, as he led Ease (10-8), Zidane (10-8), and Tiny (7-5) to the W.

For Potenza, Shaun, Okyo, Cres, Johnie, Iron Survivor, and Dwarf all failed to go positive.

#2 Burn will take on #3 Juans in the Winners Quarter-Finals, while #5 Potenza hosts #8 LEGO in the Losers Quarter-Finals.

HOT: kess
NOT: Okyo Drift (4-10). It pains me to put big king Okyo in the NOT list after dominating so much of TWLD and TWLJ this year, but he put up far and away the worst performance on Potenza. Like Paul Giamatti in Lady in the Water, this was a fluke, and I expect him to bounce back in the playoffs.

---

Dudgeon (7-1) vs. Juans (6-2)
50-31

Stayon (12-5), dreamwin (12-9), Commodo (11-7), Rough (9-7), and Zizzo (6-3) stampeded over Juans like it was Calgary in July, winning by a whopping 19 kills.

Steadman (9-10) and Tom Juan (8-10) were decent, but the scores quickly descended in orders of suckitude, with Lorko (6-10), John Juan (4-10), and Healt (2-10).

2, 4, 6, 8, which one do I denegrate!

HOT: Stayon
NOT: John Juan and Healt. You two are like peas in an ipod. If that ipod was full of Nickelback. Because you suck.

---

Cobra (4-4) vs. You2be (1-7)
50-36

Cobra-kai collectively crushed the You2bers by 14, as Wax (16-8) laid down the law, ahead of Neymar (13-5), Rasaq, Trasher, and menelvagor.

For the victory-averse, euforia (10-10) played well, but had little help, as Eren, Fiora, raizin, Toxic, and Yojimbo all negged, while a good sub from DeadSorcerer (6-5) did nothing to change the outcome.

#5 Cobra will take on #8 You2be in the Losers Quarter-Finals.

HOT: Wax
NOT: Yojimbo, who makes the list for the third week in a row with a doodoo 1-5. You'd benefit immensely from some tutelage from euforia. And, if you're wondering, am I sure? Believe me, I'm positive. Unlike you in jav.

---

Fierce (6-2) vs. Potenza (3-5)
50-26

For the second week in a row, Revered (17-7) dropped 17 kills on an opponent, leading Fierce to the dickbashing that was this game, winning by an embarrassing 24 kills, as Spawnisen (8-4), Last Standing (9-3), 24 (9-4), and Aprix showed no mercy.

Shaun (8-10) had the only palatable score, as Mark Stone, dwarf, Iron Survivor, and okyo all negged horribly.

HOT: Revered!
NOT: Dwarf. Dwarf obviously loves being mentioned in Hot or Nots, as he exploded for 2-10, managing to earn the NOT in both his TWLD games and a TWLJ game. Kudos to your dedication to sucking horribly in as many leagues as possible. I'm sure your teammates hope you'll add a few more leagues, then never come up for air.



---

Fierce (6-2) vs. Dudgeon (7-1)
50-41

Fierce put an end to Dudgeon's 8-0 aspirations in TWLJ, beating them out 50-41.

Revered (14-9) and Last Standing (14-7) proved an unstoppable tandem, combining for 28 kills and leading 24 (8-8), Spawnisen (9-9), and a lackluster Apricot (3-8) to the W.

For Dudgeon, Rough (12-10), Stayon (9-10), dreamwin (8-10), and Zizzo (8-10) all performed up to expectations, but Commodo (2-10) proved the weak link, and faltered, downing the javing juggernaut.

#1 Dudgeon will face off against #4 Fierce in the Winners Quarter-Finals, in a rematch of this game.

HOT: LAST STANDING
HOT: revered
NOT: Commodo (2-10). Don't worry, it was only a perfect season you marred. Tom Brady recovered from his 18-1... eight years later... while penetrating Gisele... sleeping on a pile of millions of dollars. You'll be fine!

---

LEGO (2-6) vs. Vikings (0-8)
50-35

turban (18-4) showed the rest of the league how to properly stomp an underwhelming opponent, shoving his Finnish flounder deep inside Vikings while making their loved ones watch, as is Viking custom. Zizu (10-8), Spikey (9-6), dsb, df, and Ted Mosby also contributed.

For the losing side, Jones, Cloth, Major Crisis, Ravos, Risk, and Enf all negged. This match was actually important, as a Viking win would put both squads at 1-7, with Vikings winning the head-to-head tiebreaker, and eliminating LEGO from the playoffs. turban made sure that didn't happen.

#7 LEGO will go up against #6 Potenza in the Losers Quarter-Finals in two weeks, while Vikings is out of contention.

HOT: turban, clinching playoffs almost singlehandedly for LEGO
NOT: Enf (1-6).

---

Burn (7-1) vs. Cobra (4-4)
50-33

Burn roasted Cobra with a 17-point victory in TWLJ, as Ease (10-4) led the likes of Zidane (9-4), Amnesti (8-7), and Tiny.

For Cobra, Zazerick (9-10) and Trasher were decent, but Wax, Shadowmere and Neymar were sub-par, with a trio of 5-10s.

HOT: Ease
HOT: Zidane
NOT: Shadowmere. Neymar, and Wax. Moe, Larry, and Curly. The three stooges waddled throughout the map as a comedy of errors beset them, from TKs, to miscommunication and hilarious misfires. Unfortunately, Curly suffered a debilitating stroke in 1946, which is what Shadowmere's play looked like from spec.

---

You2be (1-7) vs. Vikings (0-8)
50-37

In this battle of the baddies, Fiora (13-8) sobered up long enough to stomp out Vikings alongside DeadSorcerer (12-10) and Fork (7-2), with euforia and Toxic in tow.

Vikings sucked except for Jones (10-10), who seems matchup proof (unlike Fiora last week, who seemed 40proof).

HOT: Fiora
NOT: Cloth.

---

Juans (6-2) vs. LEGO (2-6)
50-26

Healt (13-4) dominated the final game of the season, leading the charge against a hapless LEGOnian force, as John Juan (8-3), Lorko (9-6), Steadman (9-8), Tom Juan (9-4), and Thugs (1-1) bulldozed them into oblivion.

Turban and ROWS were the only two to approach parity, while spikey, zizu, Ted Mosby, dsb, and henry saari were awful.

HOT: Healt
NOT: spikey regained his TWLJ 15 form, going 2-10.

[ogron]

BASERs OF THE WEEK: Cranium and menelvagor
For their dominating performance in shark in a crucial match, leading their team to both a victory and a Winners Bracket berth. Kudos!

WBs OF THE WEEK: Raazi and Ison
Raazi scorched Cobra with a 16-7, then lit up Dudgeon with an 11-5, leading his team to a perfect 2-0. Ison put up a monster 18-8 for Vikings in an upset win over LEGO. Nice work!

JAV OF THE WEEK: Revered
With his second 17 kills performance in as many weeks, dropping a 17-7 against Potenza, then notching a huge 14-9 against Dudgeon, ending their undefeated season. Phenomenal!



(and yes, I misspelled de-ni-grate as "denegrate", forums won't let me write valid english words if N-I-G follow each other. Which definitely isn't fucking retarded.

[Turban]

thanks.

[ogron]

TWLD Hot or Not is up!

[ogron]

TWLJ, TWLD, and TWLB are all up. Enjoy!

[Pressure]

Best (5-10) spent all week trolling his own team with Mighty, macro'ing !add !remove to DC their own teammates, using the names Anmesti and fahrenhiet to tell LJ players they were benched or bad, and adding themselves to basing matches in warbird and esq + q'ing if you changed them back to spider.

LOOL

[Depre]

LOOOL amazing read

[Crescent Seal]

HoN writeups + internal squad beef = gud stuff

chillllllll on my boy dwarf tho

[Jones]

thanks for the writeups.

i was 6-8 vs lego in ld btw. saving me some face stealing the last kills. it was an amazing performance by ison, team stayed alive too.

[RoDNeY]

good stuff claus, appreciate the time and effort you put into this

[paradise!]

I've recently been in contact with an exclusive UNNAMED source that has infiltrated the Burn squad and was able to report back on some of the INNER WORKINGS of the squad:

Best is more-or-less the MJ of the squad. BUT he's extremely moody. This reporter has spoken on Zidane before, he is a unique character, deserving of his own case study and in depth siekologocially analysizing.. Moving on, Last week's performance was after an INTERNAL BEEF was stirred just MOMENTS before TWL. Zidane has beefed Best before, but many squad members felt he crossed the line when he said this absolutely MOMENTS before TWL began sunday midday:

1:zidane> You are a fat loser stfu. you're black too, though. And this is coming from a guy who lives in my moms basement
 and can see the same jizz stains on his computer desk from gr 9.'
1:zidane> ive had it up to here with your bullshit attitude
1:zidane> you think i didnt hear about our loss to Tanzu's squad in TWD last wednesday at 1:34 PM when i was afk? I was alerted at my office almost immediately. 
1:[NAME HAS BEEN REDACTED]> wait pause. zid has an office?
1:[NAME HAS BEEN REDACTED]> he was eating pizza bagels at the kitchen table alie?

At that point, Best snapped and the man WENT off. The man had had enough.

1:Best> eat a mondo cock you fat ch-nk'
1:zidane> im not even asian
1:Best> you think i fucking care???????

Best wasn't finished. He continued:

1:Best> Do you know who I fucking am
1:Best> I am fukin BIGMON best
1:[NAME HAS BEEN REDACTED]> blackmon best alie?
1:Best> Huh? What No.
1:Best> you all think im joking eh
1:[NAME HAS BEEN REDACTED]> Will this affect your TWL performance
1:Best> what the FUCK do you think? ofc it will
1:Rampage> Howdy

This is what the unnamed source within the squad was able to discover. It was INTERNAL beef that affected Best's performance in the previous games. My source has confirmed that he/she will remain onboard during TWL for further updates.

[Crescent Seal]

dkmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm

[Jerome Scuggs]

Congratulations Paradise,

You are the winner of the 2015 Nickname Award for SubSpace Detective Excellence. Your unwavering integrity and disregard of personal endangerment are hallmarks of what the NNASSDE committee looks for in its nominees. You may collect your TCP/IP blaster at the ceremony being held this Sunday. You join the ranks of such legendary SubSpace detectives as Nickname, Bioture, PH, and Renzi. I close now with the legendary motto of the legendary group - "whether tit or whether tat, we will get to the bottom of that."