Tweet
Hello space friends!
I'll jump straight into business and deliver what yall want.
King Cuban's (Cripple) delivers in this exclusive teaser bit for the upcomming Dice 2016 5-man track. My boy LilBatBoi caught the moment.
https://soundcloud.com/lilbatboi/dice-beginner
--------------------
LJ's HoN
Force vs Dice 50-42
Game link : http://twl.trenchwars.org/?x=showmatch&match=2059
Week 3 starts with one of the hottest games of the week. Generally, as most javelin matches, the 40 kill mark becomes crucial. Force pulled away with merit despite a slight comeback from Diceville with my sub-in. Overall, a good performance from those guys and a poor showing from us. Healt apparantly fixed whatever made him yapp about constantly, as he dominated the game with his heat seeking missiles. For the Dice side, a good performance once again by kebab lover Ali, the Persian Menace.
Hot:Healt splashing us into oblivion with a 15-8.
Not:Dice having another poor show, Beanie being himself, a...Bean with 1-5 and myself for tanning too much and being late.
Me, extremely worried about our regular season losses. Who's next?
https://www.facebook.com/tafixe/vide...3841004367545/
Dynasty vs Paladen 50-25
Game link: http://twl.trenchwars.org/?x=showmatch&match=2063
Well..apparantly the link is broken or a bug with the bot happened as players for Paladen are duplicate and apparantly they won a 50-0 forfeit before the actual round. Leads me to think that even with 10 mans..Paladen would have got whooped as well. Solid performance on the forfeit but that's as close as you can get to a TWLJ win. Good show from #TeamDynasty. Temujin continuing his solid play.
Hot:Temujin leading with 14-9 and Not in Game with the best k/d ratio with a 11-5.
Not:My man Buddha is a tiger in the warbird ship but just a little kitty in javelin producing a 2-10. Sush kitty.
Paladen's only shot at winning anything in TWL is actually reproducing this moment with all of us inside of Staff's HQ with Kado at the helm.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MFK0yG8xG5I
Cobra vs Force 50-31
Game link :http://twl.trenchwars.org/?x=showmatch&match=2062
In what could of been close battle, was the complete opposite. Force left the trenches in fetal position after those slippery snakes went inside their bums. Beating a Dice half line didn't help Force in preparing the right way for this battle of champions. Last week I mentioned Turban as one of the last Sayajin's in the game, also before the match teasing him with the same mambo jambo. My Nostradamus skills are on point, predicting the following week, as Turban flew faster than Zidane's pizza money pulling one of the best TWLJ performances so far.
Hot:Turban having a Gohan moment with a ferocious 20-9.
Not:Two 4-10's from StephBrick and Zizzo.
Zizzo vouching for Poland. My man are you ok? Time to get that Belgium and Wales passport soon.
image hosting 10mb limit
Lego vs Spark 50-45
Game link: http://twl.trenchwars.org/?x=showmatch&match=2064
The closest encounter we had this week between Lego and Spark, resulting in a thriller between basicly bastard sons of TWLJ. I expected Spark's upperhand, but Fork's non-presence was sorely felt. Big ol' Sean prooved to be a strong support with a 13-10 to Slum's enormous game. In the end the better team that day won as Lego like Nazi's clockwork Blietzkrieg forced openings on Spark's Napolean like offense.
Hot:Valker and Rab with clutch-time gameplay with 11-7 and 9-4 respectfully and Slum almost bringing it home alone with a 17-10.
Not:Cloth's 5-10 and Rn's 3-10 were a pain to see. df 1-4 and adding himself continuing his streak of bad decisions.
df the type of ***** to laugh when a girl quifs on his face.
Thunder vs Dice 50-39
Game link: http://twl.trenchwars.org/?x=showmatch&match=2061
Before a 40 man crowd, this one felt lacking. Regardless, two squads filled with swollen people as both clashed against their lifetime foes. The end result is generally the same. No surprised here, as Thunder took the W home with ease in the end. Both fielded test lines having Waven as a big time name still in need of more playtime. Ro was extremely competent to Shadowmere's agressive push that broke down the game's tightness midgame with Kira_Tomatoe's 5-10 almost blewing it.
Hot:Shadowmere solidifying his leading TWLJ kills with a pompuous 16-9.
Not:Myself having the lowest score, still completly baked n tanned from the previous night/sunday afternoon. Very dookie.
My international correspondent in Costa Rica managed to take a glimpse at daddy Ease (who realized he doesn't need to play to win even more millions) who saw via Skype his parade of robots get the W. The hand suffered stress play-time injury.
Cobra vs LEGO 50-29
Game link: http://twl.trenchwars.org/?x=showmatch&match=2057
We're back to the gangbang routine as Cobra fucked Lego's eyesock's out, exercing dominance from the go. Too much of a line for LEGO, as apparantly df was back to his coin-flipping ways adding a weird line. Let's move on.
Hot:Turban leading with 15-10 and Singer with a 3:1 ratio with a 9-3.
Not:Valker and Solemm combining to a 0-6. Poopie.
I think everyone knows of my man Rough's 'loving ways' and the way he shares it with people. I managed to get in possession of old footage that shows how it all started and why it dwells from within. All he wanted to was to be a doctor.
Spark vs Paladen 50-24
Game link: http://twl.trenchwars.org/?x=showmatch&match=2058
This could of been a good show for Paladen versus one of the bottom 4 teams but that was not the case. Spark was way too strong for Paladen's minor hopes, as Spark played liked a tuned orchestra destroying those sorry ass Paladin Knights. Everyone was good for Spark as for Paladen, Jebbass (Ease's daddy) played sharp with a 9-10.
Hot:They call him, Big Sean, is Hot based on k.d with a 10-5.
Not:RTAllen and Attack Mode fusing into a magnificient 0-10.
Thunder vs Dynasty 50-33
Game link: http://twl.trenchwars.org/?x=showmatch&match=2060
#TeamDynasty fielded close to their top line and got absolutly trampled by Thunder. Even though, everyone was solid for Thunder, this was really a one man show, as Zidane, much like the real one, stole the show and gracing TWLJ with a sick performance. For Dynasty and unsurprinsingly, since he clearly raised his game (or maybe the name change is working), Temujin puts out a solid 11-10 performance as every single one of his partners got dookied.
Hot:Zidane with a 20-5 monstrous like performance.
Not:Guero's 3-10 and Server's 1-5 were too heavy for Temujin's shoulders.
Zid looking down on TW after that performance.
--------------------
Awards of the Week
Legends of the week
Rampage - Joining Spark and helping their jav division.
Rodney - Joining Force and helping their base division.
Spikey - Joining LEGO and potentially be a late-season starter.
Captain's of TW - Everyone who voted to delay, except one. Whoever you are, you a dumbo.
Turban and Ogron - Dedicating 5 years to finnish an excellent excell sheet that no one would even dare to try.
Zidane / Turban / Ogron / Ro / Guero / Cripple - Hottest performances with 20-5, 20-9, 48-2+3teks, 18-3, 16-10 in a huge loss and 121-40+2teks.
Beautifull Soul of the Week: Kinky-Girl
Apparantly the news got in the street fast as she either saw or was told that she featured on my parade of idiots here. She went from having an extremely awkward picture with a furby creature on her tits to which is now gone forever...to now only showing tits and thus applying to a main job at TW's staff. Wait to go sexy mama. Kado will handle this matter properly, rest assured.
Hall of Shame Week 3
Entry #1 - Guero
You're a papi, so I love you as an equal but you have to feature here this week. Wiibimbo and Olde suggested situations as to why you proceeded as such, but let's be honest. You knew there was a lock and obviously took a conscious choise knowing your team was lacking in showings. You could of had just chilled, Dynasty is the best you can get at the moment and it's still the regular season. Playoffs is where people need to actually show. Your lack of patience lead to this hassle for staff to handle, when you could of either joined earlier or just stayed in Dynasty and make things more simple instead of doing a thread in 2016. Regardless, if I was TWL OP unlike Mark I wouldn't let you join Dynasty only, but force you to join LEGO, Spark or Paladen and help a weaker squad than Dynasty. Let the man play Mark. It's like 50 bots and 50 people anyways.
Entry #2 - Iron Survivor and Ogron
Only thing I'm gonna ask is..are you two love-birds gonna yap your mouths every single TWLD HoN thread? For fun purposes, please proceed and keep doing so but on the other hand..it's getting sticky. Like dry-cum.
Entry #3 - NL>Dookie / Ribblet / Megalo / AttackMode-RTAllen / Valker-Solemn / Rn / LittleBuddha / BigSean / Absent / Afri / LegionofBoom
36-48, 20-15 terring, 6-14 subbed out, 0-10 combo, 0-6 combo, 3-10, 2-10, 2-10, 3-9 in a good game, 3-10 and 2-7 subbed out.
Would you look at this..I'm at two lines writing people's Forest Gump type of names, it's unbelievable the dookie parade we got here. How can you guys be so bad? Honestly it's 2016, not 2006. You guys are bad. Like, bad. Really bad. The only worthfull use you guys have in your miserable life is to die in war. My god, I hate you. Did I go too in?
Entry #4 - Shadowmere and Qan
Qan, this game has been alive mostly due to your help in recent years in alot of things. I'm sorry to tell you that your precious little invencible imortal 10 million lines worth of code failed in this non-important TWD stats thing. You heard me? You failed man. F-a-i-l-e-d. Leave TW, now under utmost disgrace.
Shadow, I been praising you for your TWLJ performances and leading in kills but that doesn't save you from this debut. You and 3-CPO apparantly decided to have this stats and stars shena****ns after a TWL event. It went so well, TW basicly died for 2 days. Mission Complete, you are solidifying your position as one of TW's villains.
Entry #5 - Zidane
You knew you'd end up here eventually. Was entertaining to read the vs' against Crip. I've read something about medals, which I thought we went through this once. Playing in them is what really means, as there's alot of people with multiple medals without actually playing, so the count I do is the most fair and correct. Let's remind ourselves again since you like these things. You have 12, you started and won in 7 of them. You surprased Deez Nuts as 5th, who started in 6 out of 8. I'm in 4th with 8 for 8. Mega is 3rd with 9 starts/wins out of 10 medals. Cape and Ease are way ahead. Cape 2nd with 13 out of 17 and Ease with 17 out of 17, being other than me the only guy to actually win and play in every single fake ribbon.
Meaning you're 1 away from being 4th (if it happens this season I'll send you a Tito's Pizzaria voucher) and 2 away from tieing with Meg.
But it's time for a reality check again. Got nothing to say against your deserved LJ wins (minus the Value game which Turb pulled a Dengue in one season) and last season in LB but season 17 you needed a split Dice to win and Dice's terr. Season 18 you needed Dice's terr and a timer that never ended. It's not exactly as 'clear' as you make it sound. Even season 18 was pale in comparisson to what Dice trully was to season 16 and below. Not even gonna bother with this version. Times change. Another reality check, you did win alot but your first win was like in 2011/2012 in season 17. Season fucking 17...lolol. Relax my man, by that time the game was already dying and people were already multiple champions when you were still in you father's balls. Don't get me wrong because I'm going in today, you're off the hook after this. And Cripple hasn't been exactly playing in #1 contender squads since season 16. He actually tried to help squads with lesser chanses. A concept some people don't grasp.
You're still little Ziddy from back in the mid 2000's where you were Dice's Yojimbo. I have great memories from those days. You'll always be little Ziddy to me.
But mostly you feature here because despite knowing you're not the one who voted against the break this weekend, you were extremely vocal against it. Don't do that, it's 2016. Lay off the pizza for now.
Ziddy be at em job interviews.
Good weekend papis!
I'll jump straight into business and deliver what yall want.
King Cuban's (Cripple) delivers in this exclusive teaser bit for the upcomming Dice 2016 5-man track. My boy LilBatBoi caught the moment.
https://soundcloud.com/lilbatboi/dice-beginner
--------------------
LJ's HoN
Force vs Dice 50-42
Game link : http://twl.trenchwars.org/?x=showmatch&match=2059
Week 3 starts with one of the hottest games of the week. Generally, as most javelin matches, the 40 kill mark becomes crucial. Force pulled away with merit despite a slight comeback from Diceville with my sub-in. Overall, a good performance from those guys and a poor showing from us. Healt apparantly fixed whatever made him yapp about constantly, as he dominated the game with his heat seeking missiles. For the Dice side, a good performance once again by kebab lover Ali, the Persian Menace.
Hot:Healt splashing us into oblivion with a 15-8.
Not:Dice having another poor show, Beanie being himself, a...Bean with 1-5 and myself for tanning too much and being late.
Me, extremely worried about our regular season losses. Who's next?
https://www.facebook.com/tafixe/vide...3841004367545/
Dynasty vs Paladen 50-25
Game link: http://twl.trenchwars.org/?x=showmatch&match=2063
Well..apparantly the link is broken or a bug with the bot happened as players for Paladen are duplicate and apparantly they won a 50-0 forfeit before the actual round. Leads me to think that even with 10 mans..Paladen would have got whooped as well. Solid performance on the forfeit but that's as close as you can get to a TWLJ win. Good show from #TeamDynasty. Temujin continuing his solid play.
Hot:Temujin leading with 14-9 and Not in Game with the best k/d ratio with a 11-5.
Not:My man Buddha is a tiger in the warbird ship but just a little kitty in javelin producing a 2-10. Sush kitty.
Paladen's only shot at winning anything in TWL is actually reproducing this moment with all of us inside of Staff's HQ with Kado at the helm.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MFK0yG8xG5I
Cobra vs Force 50-31
Game link :http://twl.trenchwars.org/?x=showmatch&match=2062
In what could of been close battle, was the complete opposite. Force left the trenches in fetal position after those slippery snakes went inside their bums. Beating a Dice half line didn't help Force in preparing the right way for this battle of champions. Last week I mentioned Turban as one of the last Sayajin's in the game, also before the match teasing him with the same mambo jambo. My Nostradamus skills are on point, predicting the following week, as Turban flew faster than Zidane's pizza money pulling one of the best TWLJ performances so far.
Hot:Turban having a Gohan moment with a ferocious 20-9.
Not:Two 4-10's from StephBrick and Zizzo.
Zizzo vouching for Poland. My man are you ok? Time to get that Belgium and Wales passport soon.
image hosting 10mb limitLego vs Spark 50-45
Game link: http://twl.trenchwars.org/?x=showmatch&match=2064
The closest encounter we had this week between Lego and Spark, resulting in a thriller between basicly bastard sons of TWLJ. I expected Spark's upperhand, but Fork's non-presence was sorely felt. Big ol' Sean prooved to be a strong support with a 13-10 to Slum's enormous game. In the end the better team that day won as Lego like Nazi's clockwork Blietzkrieg forced openings on Spark's Napolean like offense.
Hot:Valker and Rab with clutch-time gameplay with 11-7 and 9-4 respectfully and Slum almost bringing it home alone with a 17-10.
Not:Cloth's 5-10 and Rn's 3-10 were a pain to see. df 1-4 and adding himself continuing his streak of bad decisions.
df the type of ***** to laugh when a girl quifs on his face.
Thunder vs Dice 50-39
Game link: http://twl.trenchwars.org/?x=showmatch&match=2061
Before a 40 man crowd, this one felt lacking. Regardless, two squads filled with swollen people as both clashed against their lifetime foes. The end result is generally the same. No surprised here, as Thunder took the W home with ease in the end. Both fielded test lines having Waven as a big time name still in need of more playtime. Ro was extremely competent to Shadowmere's agressive push that broke down the game's tightness midgame with Kira_Tomatoe's 5-10 almost blewing it.
Hot:Shadowmere solidifying his leading TWLJ kills with a pompuous 16-9.
Not:Myself having the lowest score, still completly baked n tanned from the previous night/sunday afternoon. Very dookie.
My international correspondent in Costa Rica managed to take a glimpse at daddy Ease (who realized he doesn't need to play to win even more millions) who saw via Skype his parade of robots get the W. The hand suffered stress play-time injury.
Cobra vs LEGO 50-29
Game link: http://twl.trenchwars.org/?x=showmatch&match=2057
We're back to the gangbang routine as Cobra fucked Lego's eyesock's out, exercing dominance from the go. Too much of a line for LEGO, as apparantly df was back to his coin-flipping ways adding a weird line. Let's move on.
Hot:Turban leading with 15-10 and Singer with a 3:1 ratio with a 9-3.
Not:Valker and Solemm combining to a 0-6. Poopie.
I think everyone knows of my man Rough's 'loving ways' and the way he shares it with people. I managed to get in possession of old footage that shows how it all started and why it dwells from within. All he wanted to was to be a doctor.
Spark vs Paladen 50-24
Game link: http://twl.trenchwars.org/?x=showmatch&match=2058
This could of been a good show for Paladen versus one of the bottom 4 teams but that was not the case. Spark was way too strong for Paladen's minor hopes, as Spark played liked a tuned orchestra destroying those sorry ass Paladin Knights. Everyone was good for Spark as for Paladen, Jebbass (Ease's daddy) played sharp with a 9-10.
Hot:They call him, Big Sean, is Hot based on k.d with a 10-5.
Not:RTAllen and Attack Mode fusing into a magnificient 0-10.
Thunder vs Dynasty 50-33
Game link: http://twl.trenchwars.org/?x=showmatch&match=2060
#TeamDynasty fielded close to their top line and got absolutly trampled by Thunder. Even though, everyone was solid for Thunder, this was really a one man show, as Zidane, much like the real one, stole the show and gracing TWLJ with a sick performance. For Dynasty and unsurprinsingly, since he clearly raised his game (or maybe the name change is working), Temujin puts out a solid 11-10 performance as every single one of his partners got dookied.
Hot:Zidane with a 20-5 monstrous like performance.
Not:Guero's 3-10 and Server's 1-5 were too heavy for Temujin's shoulders.
Zid looking down on TW after that performance.
--------------------
Awards of the Week
Legends of the week
Rampage - Joining Spark and helping their jav division.
Rodney - Joining Force and helping their base division.
Spikey - Joining LEGO and potentially be a late-season starter.
Captain's of TW - Everyone who voted to delay, except one. Whoever you are, you a dumbo.
Turban and Ogron - Dedicating 5 years to finnish an excellent excell sheet that no one would even dare to try.
Zidane / Turban / Ogron / Ro / Guero / Cripple - Hottest performances with 20-5, 20-9, 48-2+3teks, 18-3, 16-10 in a huge loss and 121-40+2teks.
Beautifull Soul of the Week: Kinky-Girl
Apparantly the news got in the street fast as she either saw or was told that she featured on my parade of idiots here. She went from having an extremely awkward picture with a furby creature on her tits to which is now gone forever...to now only showing tits and thus applying to a main job at TW's staff. Wait to go sexy mama. Kado will handle this matter properly, rest assured.
Hall of Shame Week 3
Entry #1 - Guero
You're a papi, so I love you as an equal but you have to feature here this week. Wiibimbo and Olde suggested situations as to why you proceeded as such, but let's be honest. You knew there was a lock and obviously took a conscious choise knowing your team was lacking in showings. You could of had just chilled, Dynasty is the best you can get at the moment and it's still the regular season. Playoffs is where people need to actually show. Your lack of patience lead to this hassle for staff to handle, when you could of either joined earlier or just stayed in Dynasty and make things more simple instead of doing a thread in 2016. Regardless, if I was TWL OP unlike Mark I wouldn't let you join Dynasty only, but force you to join LEGO, Spark or Paladen and help a weaker squad than Dynasty. Let the man play Mark. It's like 50 bots and 50 people anyways.
Entry #2 - Iron Survivor and Ogron
Only thing I'm gonna ask is..are you two love-birds gonna yap your mouths every single TWLD HoN thread? For fun purposes, please proceed and keep doing so but on the other hand..it's getting sticky. Like dry-cum.
Entry #3 - NL>Dookie / Ribblet / Megalo / AttackMode-RTAllen / Valker-Solemn / Rn / LittleBuddha / BigSean / Absent / Afri / LegionofBoom
36-48, 20-15 terring, 6-14 subbed out, 0-10 combo, 0-6 combo, 3-10, 2-10, 2-10, 3-9 in a good game, 3-10 and 2-7 subbed out.
Would you look at this..I'm at two lines writing people's Forest Gump type of names, it's unbelievable the dookie parade we got here. How can you guys be so bad? Honestly it's 2016, not 2006. You guys are bad. Like, bad. Really bad. The only worthfull use you guys have in your miserable life is to die in war. My god, I hate you. Did I go too in?
Entry #4 - Shadowmere and Qan
Qan, this game has been alive mostly due to your help in recent years in alot of things. I'm sorry to tell you that your precious little invencible imortal 10 million lines worth of code failed in this non-important TWD stats thing. You heard me? You failed man. F-a-i-l-e-d. Leave TW, now under utmost disgrace.
Shadow, I been praising you for your TWLJ performances and leading in kills but that doesn't save you from this debut. You and 3-CPO apparantly decided to have this stats and stars shena****ns after a TWL event. It went so well, TW basicly died for 2 days. Mission Complete, you are solidifying your position as one of TW's villains.
Entry #5 - Zidane
You knew you'd end up here eventually. Was entertaining to read the vs' against Crip. I've read something about medals, which I thought we went through this once. Playing in them is what really means, as there's alot of people with multiple medals without actually playing, so the count I do is the most fair and correct. Let's remind ourselves again since you like these things. You have 12, you started and won in 7 of them. You surprased Deez Nuts as 5th, who started in 6 out of 8. I'm in 4th with 8 for 8. Mega is 3rd with 9 starts/wins out of 10 medals. Cape and Ease are way ahead. Cape 2nd with 13 out of 17 and Ease with 17 out of 17, being other than me the only guy to actually win and play in every single fake ribbon.
Meaning you're 1 away from being 4th (if it happens this season I'll send you a Tito's Pizzaria voucher) and 2 away from tieing with Meg.
But it's time for a reality check again. Got nothing to say against your deserved LJ wins (minus the Value game which Turb pulled a Dengue in one season) and last season in LB but season 17 you needed a split Dice to win and Dice's terr. Season 18 you needed Dice's terr and a timer that never ended. It's not exactly as 'clear' as you make it sound. Even season 18 was pale in comparisson to what Dice trully was to season 16 and below. Not even gonna bother with this version. Times change. Another reality check, you did win alot but your first win was like in 2011/2012 in season 17. Season fucking 17...lolol. Relax my man, by that time the game was already dying and people were already multiple champions when you were still in you father's balls. Don't get me wrong because I'm going in today, you're off the hook after this. And Cripple hasn't been exactly playing in #1 contender squads since season 16. He actually tried to help squads with lesser chanses. A concept some people don't grasp.
You're still little Ziddy from back in the mid 2000's where you were Dice's Yojimbo. I have great memories from those days. You'll always be little Ziddy to me.
But mostly you feature here because despite knowing you're not the one who voted against the break this weekend, you were extremely vocal against it. Don't do that, it's 2016. Lay off the pizza for now.
Ziddy be at em job interviews.
Good weekend papis!
Comment