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Stayon asked me to post a sneak preview of his upcoming TWLJ HoN since he is very busy celebrating:
Hello space amigos!
Stayon here, ready to give you a hot taste. For most of you, that will be the upcoming D I C E 2016 5-man track, although for some of you it might mean a muito grande load of hot white sticky stuff given the way mans played javelin week 4!
Here’s a sneak preview of the most anticipated rap in Trench Wars from 2PacZ:
2PACZ, TOUGHEST G IN T-W-L-D
GOT MO’ RHYMES THAN A DR. SEUSS LP
SPIT MO’ FREELY THAN A HIPPIE PROTESTIN’ THE TPP
GOT MO’ ICE THAN CAM NEELY ON A ZAMBONI SPREE
SPEAKIN’ OF ME, 2PACZ, WHEN 3AM FUCKIN’ HITS
THE 7 PEOPLE LEFT IN GAME BEST BE DUCKIN’ CLIPS
DICE 2016, 15, 14… IT DON’T MATTER THE YEAR
SEE MY BOYS STAY, RACK N’ CRIPP N’ THEY SHATTER WITH FEAR
GET DA BLOOD SPATTER EXPERTS CUZ IM DA APEX PREDATOR
DUEL ME AFTER 3 BETTER HEX YOUR CREDITOR
WRITE HOT OR NOTS FOR TWLD? BETTER TEXT YOUR EDITOR
YOUR BITCH TRY TO DISS ME? BEST BE THE NEXT TO DISCREDIT HER
NOW IF YOU’LL EXCUSE ME I GOT TROPHIES TO POLISH FOR MEG89
‘CUZ TWL’S AFTER NOON AND COME PLAYOFFS I’LL BE RIDIN’ THE PINE.
--------------------
LJ's HoN
Cobra vs. Paladen
50-18
Some mans played some others mans and eventually there was a winner declarado! The mans on Cobra were much better but I didn’t see the match because I was busy tanning.
The match, it was very lopsided, like how one mans left testiculo hangs lower than the other. I’m not the only one… right??
Oops, TMI alert! This means it is time to declare the best papis of this match.
Back Hurts From Carrying Portugal Award (formerly HOT):
Tiny (15-7). Mans left the oppressive yolk of Thunder, and is doing great. I wish him good things! With his patented 9-9, 1:1 average every game, combined with Trasher’s 7-10, Commodo’s 10-9, and [redacted-to-protect-my-former-teammate]’s 4-10 averages, Turban only needs to drop 20 kills a game for them to win vs. Dice/Thunder. Sounds doable!
Why Is Messi So Good At Soccer Award (formerly NOT):
LMAO (1-10). The key to javelin piloting your best is a good warmup… in a tanning bed. This Casper needs to get a better base, only then can he get better in the base. Wise words to live by, papis.
Dice vs. Dynasty
50-32
D I C E 2 0 1 6 is very deep in javelin ships, and my camaradas held the fort down while I was out celebrating Portugal winning E U R O 2 0 1 6.
This match was 5v4 because Dynasty lacks team spirit/unity/tanning lotion.
Back Hurts From Carrying Portugal Award (formerly HOT):
Cripple (12-6). My boy King Cubano was clearly very tan for this match, as he went 12-6.
Why Is Messi So Good At Soccer Award (formerly NOT):
Kado (5-6). I love my young mans and his efforts to run TWL which lasted as long as J-B-Inc inside of Goddess, but he failed to go + 5v4 against some dookiemons in ship 2.
I’m very busy tanning/celebrating football (or “soccer”, as you low-latency heathens in America call it) so let’s move straight to Awards.
--------------------
Awards of the Week
Legends of the week
Attacks – mans releases his TWLD Hot or Not without fail on Sunday nights on time every time. If I had to describe you from a movie, you are a delicate plastic bag floating on the wind like an angel in American Beauty.
Ease (13-5) – mans returned from South America like a conquistador and would have made Portugal proud 500 years ago when we were a naval superpower (although we are indirectly responsible for Iron Survivor bc we colonized Brasil. Sorry for that.) I'm not surprised this honorary papi immediately dropped hot scores after a month away because he came back very tan.
Beautifull Soul of the Week: Unabled
Mans almost singlehandedly prevented Dice from a triple crown TWL 15, and capped his warbird career off in very Unabled fashion – getting fired from Spark. You are a beautiful free stallion who cannot be tamed (or stay alive on 9). You be you.
Hall of Shame Week 4
Entry #1 - No one
No one. Everyone gets a free pass this week because Portuguese are the World Champions of E U R O 2016!!!
Entry #2 - Zidane
Just kidding. Zidane makes it to the Hall of Shame for the third consecutive week. I wasn’t here on Sunday so I’m not sure what he actually did, but I assume the mans did something.
EDIT: My source Turban tells me mans fired Heaven for losing to him in a League of Legends match. LOL.
That’s all for now. See you next week, papis!
#DICE 2016
Hello space amigos!
Stayon here, ready to give you a hot taste. For most of you, that will be the upcoming D I C E 2016 5-man track, although for some of you it might mean a muito grande load of hot white sticky stuff given the way mans played javelin week 4!
Here’s a sneak preview of the most anticipated rap in Trench Wars from 2PacZ:
2PACZ, TOUGHEST G IN T-W-L-D
GOT MO’ RHYMES THAN A DR. SEUSS LP
SPIT MO’ FREELY THAN A HIPPIE PROTESTIN’ THE TPP
GOT MO’ ICE THAN CAM NEELY ON A ZAMBONI SPREE
SPEAKIN’ OF ME, 2PACZ, WHEN 3AM FUCKIN’ HITS
THE 7 PEOPLE LEFT IN GAME BEST BE DUCKIN’ CLIPS
DICE 2016, 15, 14… IT DON’T MATTER THE YEAR
SEE MY BOYS STAY, RACK N’ CRIPP N’ THEY SHATTER WITH FEAR
GET DA BLOOD SPATTER EXPERTS CUZ IM DA APEX PREDATOR
DUEL ME AFTER 3 BETTER HEX YOUR CREDITOR
WRITE HOT OR NOTS FOR TWLD? BETTER TEXT YOUR EDITOR
YOUR BITCH TRY TO DISS ME? BEST BE THE NEXT TO DISCREDIT HER
NOW IF YOU’LL EXCUSE ME I GOT TROPHIES TO POLISH FOR MEG89
‘CUZ TWL’S AFTER NOON AND COME PLAYOFFS I’LL BE RIDIN’ THE PINE.
--------------------
LJ's HoN
Cobra vs. Paladen
50-18
Some mans played some others mans and eventually there was a winner declarado! The mans on Cobra were much better but I didn’t see the match because I was busy tanning.
The match, it was very lopsided, like how one mans left testiculo hangs lower than the other. I’m not the only one… right??
Oops, TMI alert! This means it is time to declare the best papis of this match.
Back Hurts From Carrying Portugal Award (formerly HOT):
Tiny (15-7). Mans left the oppressive yolk of Thunder, and is doing great. I wish him good things! With his patented 9-9, 1:1 average every game, combined with Trasher’s 7-10, Commodo’s 10-9, and [redacted-to-protect-my-former-teammate]’s 4-10 averages, Turban only needs to drop 20 kills a game for them to win vs. Dice/Thunder. Sounds doable!
Why Is Messi So Good At Soccer Award (formerly NOT):
LMAO (1-10). The key to javelin piloting your best is a good warmup… in a tanning bed. This Casper needs to get a better base, only then can he get better in the base. Wise words to live by, papis.
Dice vs. Dynasty
50-32
D I C E 2 0 1 6 is very deep in javelin ships, and my camaradas held the fort down while I was out celebrating Portugal winning E U R O 2 0 1 6.
This match was 5v4 because Dynasty lacks team spirit/unity/tanning lotion.
Back Hurts From Carrying Portugal Award (formerly HOT):
Cripple (12-6). My boy King Cubano was clearly very tan for this match, as he went 12-6.
Why Is Messi So Good At Soccer Award (formerly NOT):
Kado (5-6). I love my young mans and his efforts to run TWL which lasted as long as J-B-Inc inside of Goddess, but he failed to go + 5v4 against some dookiemons in ship 2.
I’m very busy tanning/celebrating football (or “soccer”, as you low-latency heathens in America call it) so let’s move straight to Awards.
--------------------
Awards of the Week
Legends of the week
Attacks – mans releases his TWLD Hot or Not without fail on Sunday nights on time every time. If I had to describe you from a movie, you are a delicate plastic bag floating on the wind like an angel in American Beauty.
Ease (13-5) – mans returned from South America like a conquistador and would have made Portugal proud 500 years ago when we were a naval superpower (although we are indirectly responsible for Iron Survivor bc we colonized Brasil. Sorry for that.) I'm not surprised this honorary papi immediately dropped hot scores after a month away because he came back very tan.
Beautifull Soul of the Week: Unabled
Mans almost singlehandedly prevented Dice from a triple crown TWL 15, and capped his warbird career off in very Unabled fashion – getting fired from Spark. You are a beautiful free stallion who cannot be tamed (or stay alive on 9). You be you.
Hall of Shame Week 4
Entry #1 - No one
No one. Everyone gets a free pass this week because Portuguese are the World Champions of E U R O 2016!!!
Entry #2 - Zidane
Just kidding. Zidane makes it to the Hall of Shame for the third consecutive week. I wasn’t here on Sunday so I’m not sure what he actually did, but I assume the mans did something.
EDIT: My source Turban tells me mans fired Heaven for losing to him in a League of Legends match. LOL.
That’s all for now. See you next week, papis!
#DICE 2016
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