The first thing you need to know is that my cousin is hot...

[wadi]

Me too, but i think they're just about to turn the corner.. 2 more years and I'll be buying their playboy spread.

http://www.chasebrown.com/olson.htm 2 years? My ass!

[Troll King]

Anyone else notice how they both look like miniature Cameron Diaz's?

[Eric is God]

Troll King's problem is that he hasn't subjected himself to countless hours of porno like some of us. After the 100th movie I downloaded, I stopped being able to discern things like age and I've been left so desensitized that I can only remember whether the woman has fake breasts, is shaven and does anal :up:

[Nickname]

On that note, i'd totaly fuck the olsen twins (either, i'm not one of those fags that will like one twin but not the other) if 15 days (apparently) they're turning legal, which doesn't mean they'll be in playboy, but does mean they'll inherit there billion dollar company.

You know what i got when i turned 18, a stereo (and i was glad to have it) they get a billion dollar business.

[Nickname]

Troll King's problem is that he hasn't subjected himself to countless hours of porno like some of us. After the 100th movie I downloaded, I stopped being able to discern things like age and I've been left so desensitized that I can only remember whether the woman has fake breasts, is shaven and does anal :up:

You know, this may be the best post in forum history. :up:

[Dameon Angell]

I must admit, I was skeptical at first over this story, but no, that was funny shit.

[Eric is God]

You know, this may be the best post in forum history. :up:

The worst (or prehaps best) part is that I'm dead serious. Anyone who knows me well, including friends, online people, parents, ex girlfriends, is aware of the fact that I have A LOT of porn and have spent A LOT of time watching it. I'll probably end up becoming one of those 40 year old single guys who run their own 500 gig server full of porn ..... and I'm not sure whether to laugh, cry, or drool over that thought.

As for this story. I've also read A LOT of erotic literature (big surprise I'm sure) and even though this is more of a satire, I'm going to give it an 8 out of 10 for the way it started and built up. It would have been more intriguing if you made yourself out to be a virgin, involved some of her friends and the insertion of multiple bath toys .... preferably rubber ones

[Enema69]

Fatality!

[R>A>G>E]

They aren't exactly my cousins, but I feel the same way about the Olsen twins. Any time I hear someone say they think they are hot, I picture a 2-foot Michelle Tanner saying: "You're in big trouble, mister!"

hahahah, nice

[Enema69]

hahahah, nice

BANANA PHONE!

[ConCor]

The first thing you need to know is that my cousin is hot. Amazingly hot. The kind of hot that makes you want to rip her pants off and **** her in the middle of class, not caring about getting expelled. She's just that damn good. People tease me about her a lot, because she has a bit of a reputation for being a slut, and for good reason: She sucked off half the football team after the homecoming game. But she is hot nonetheless.

Anyway, she lives about 10 minutes away from me and she called me up and asked if I wanted to go see a movie. I told her no, I had to work on this english report (Poison Gas Warfare in WWI), but she begged until I gave in. Then she told me she wanted to rent a movie and come over instead of going to a theatre. I raised my eyebrows at this. Why would she want to come over here? Could it be she's really that big of a slut? Nooo, I thought. That couldn't be it...could it?

So she arrives at around 9 PM. My parents are still at a symphony they went to, so nobody is in the house (my sister is in college). We pop some popcorn and get on the couch and start watching the movie (The Blues Brothers). After a while she complains that her legs are cramping up and wondered if she could lie down on the couch and put her head in my lap. My stomach did a barrel roll. I said Yes, no problem.

So she puts her head in my lap and continues to watch the movie. We're to the scene with the blind dude playing the keyboard when she starts to gently rub her head back and forth; jacking me off with her ear, if you will. It was an extremely good feeling, and I gave a little sigh as she did it. Then I was brought back to Earth as my cousin sat up and gave me a look of disgust. "What the hell is that?" she asked, pointing to my crotch. I had a raging hard-on from her head movements, and I could do nothing to hide it. I mumbled that I was sorry and that I should probably get to bed, but she grabbed me by the beltloop as I tried to get up.

She forced me back down and looked into my eyes with a sort of hungry look. "If you're attracted to me, all you needed to do was tell me..." and with that she unzipped my pants and had them around my knees before you could say Jack Daniels. I feebley tried to resist, but my protests faded into nothingness as she pulled my wang (I won't lie, 5.8 inces) out of my boxers. I closed my eyes and groaned with pleasure. As I looked down, I saw a sight I will never forget for the rest of my life.











She lowered her head to it, pulled off her mask, and spit acid all over my wang.

FATALITY.

hahahahaha.

10 coolness points to you.

[Enema69]

hahahahaha.

10 coolness points to you.

bizzump

[colony]

-LOL-


FATALITY!!!

Ahahahahah STonerz are fuckin great!

[Torn Wing]

Give me your cousin's number. I don't mind the acid part.

[Orgazmo]

As a close friend to enema69... (i know him in rl), this is amazing funny..... btw Curcur COOLNESS POINTS I MADE UP. I MADE IT IT U BITCH COPIER. ITS MINE MINE MINE MINE MINE MINE MINE MINE MINE MINE MINE MINE MINE MINE MINE MINE MINE REGGIN MINE MINE MINE MINE MINE MINE MINE MINE MINE MINE MINE MINE MINE MINE MINE MINE MINE MINE MINE MINE MINE MINE REGGIN MINE MINE MINE MINE MINE MINE MINE MINE MINE MINE MINE MINE MINE MINE MINE MINE MINE MINE MINE MINE MINE MINE REGGIN MINE MINE MINE MINE MINE MINE MINE MINE MINE MINE MINE MINE MINE MINE MINE MINE MINE MINE MINE MINE MINE MINE REGGIN MINE MINE MINE MINE MINE MINE MINE MINE MINE MINE MINE MINE MINE MINE MINE MINE MINE MINE MINE MINE MINE MINE REGGIN MINE MINE MINE MINE MINE MINE MINE MINE MINE MINE MINE MINE MINE MINE MINE MINE MINE MINE MINE MINE MINE MINE REGGIN MINE MINE MINE MINE MINE MINE MINE MINE MINE MINE MINE MINE MINE MINE MINE MINE MINE MINE MINE MINE MINE MINE REGGIN MINE MINE MINE MINE MINE MINE MINE MINE MINE MINE MINE MINE MINE MINE MINE MINE MINE MINE MINE MINE MINE MINE REGGIN MINE MINE MINE MINE MINE MINE MINE MINE MINE MINE MINE MINE MINE MINE MINE MINE MINE MINE MINE MINE MINE MINE REGGIN MINE MINE MINE MINE MINE MINE MINE MINE MINE MINE MINE MINE MINE MINE MINE MINE MINE MINE MINE MINE MINE MINE REGGIN MINE MINE MINE MINE MINE MINE MINE MINE MINE MINE MINE MINE MINE MINE MINE MINE MINE MINE MINE MINE MINE MINE REGGIN MINE MINE MINE MINE MINE MINE MINE MINE MINE MINE MINE MINE MINE MINE MINE MINE MINE MINE MINE MINE MINE MINE REGGIN MINE MINE MINE MINE MINE. MINE MINE MINE MINE MINE MINE MINE MINE MINE MINE MINE MINE MINE MINE MINE MINE MINE REGGIN MINE MINE MINE MINE MINE MINE MINE MINE MINE MINE MINE MINE MINE MINE MINE MINE MINE MINE MINE MINE MINE MINE REGGIN MINE MINE MINE MINE MINE MINE MINE MINE MINE MINE MINE MINE MINE MINE MINE MINE MINE MINE MINE MINE MINE MINE REGGIN MINE MINE MINE MINE MINE MINE MINE MINE MINE MINE MINE MINE MINE MINE MINE MINE MINE MINE MINE MINE MINE MINE REGGIN MINE MINE MINE MINE MINE MINE MINE MINE MINE MINE MINE MINE MINE MINE MINE MINE MINE MINE MINE MINE MINE MINE REGGIN MINE MINE MINE MINE MINE MINE MINE MINE MINE MINE MINE MINE MINE MINE MINE MINE MINE MINE MINE MINE MINE MINE REGGIN MINE MINE MINE MINE MINE MINE MINE MINE MINE MINE MINE MINE MINE MINE MINE MINE MINE MINE MINE MINE MINE MINE REGGIN MINE MINE MINE MINE MINE MINE MINE MINE MINE MINE MINE MINE MINE MINE MINE MINE MINE MINE MINE MINE MINE MINE REGGIN MINE MINE MINE MINE MINE MINE MINE MINE MINE MINE MINE MINE MINE MINE MINE MINE MINE MINE MINE MINE MINE MINE REGGIN MINE MINE MINE MINE MINE

P.s. BANANA PHONE!!