Poetry, Prose and Other Creative Writing

[Squeezer]

Wow....Jason u have no idea how happy i am that u just complimented my writing...That made my day mate....I would post some more but im on vacation right now...but when i get home i'll drop a few more on ya

[Vykromond]

I just wanted to drop by and say that I found TK's poem really fantastic. I had thought that I already posted that here, but apparently not.

[Jason]

I write a lot about all sorts of deeper metaphysical type of theories and concepts in my spare time; I would post some but they are usually at least a few pages long and I don't know if it would fit into this since this is mostly poetry, and also granted the hugely debatable grounds that a lot of the topics touch on it may turn the thread into a heated war of opinions.

Bring it on dude. If some dickwads try to bring this thread down with bullshit arguing, I'll have wadi or ZeUs!! remove some posts. We're hear to appreciate writing of all kinds. As long is it's not some sort of book report, I'd be happy to have a look.

Keep the writing coming spaceship gamers! And thanks for keeping this thread on track. I'm happy to see it hasn't degraded into nonsense, as is the usual fate of most threads in our happy little corner of the internet.

[Troll King]

Thanks Vyk.

This is a request to anyone who has posted stuff here: I don't ask for this to be included with your work but probably a few posts after, to give people a chance to absorb it first, but I'd like to hear people's insights on their own work. I'm not asking for you to authoritatively tell us what your work means, but something more along the lines of why you chose a certain wording, or if you had made a slight modification from an earlier draft that you feel is significant, or if there was some sort of Easter egg where you included something that you rather liked and are rather proud of, into your work that most readers wouldn't pick up on. Think of it as being like the director's commentary track on a DVD.

I'm asking this because I find it usually brings up some interesting insights to our personalities and to the actual writing process. When you read poetry or prose from a book or other source with the author farther removed from the medium you can't often get that. Of course, some people don't like to talk about their writing, and that's fine as well. I was just curious from a crafting standpoint.

[Jason]

This one's coming at you straight from DoTheFandango. He's having some trouble with his browser so I'm tossing his writing up here for him.

I want to say it.
I need to say it!

THEN SAY IT GOD DAMN IT.
DO IT!
SAY IT! ASK IT!
DON'T BE A PUSSY!

What to do? What to say?

DON'T BE A FOOL!
DO IT!
YOU WILL REGRET IT IF YOU DON'T!!!

Will I? Or will it just turn into another stupid story under my belt?

What to do...
What to say?

FOOL! LOOK AT YOU!
MINDLESSLY THINKING OF THE WHAT IF'S!
MINDLESSLY THINKING OF THE BUT MAYBE'S!
LIVE! TRY! BE FREE OF WORRY!

Why would we have the emotion of fear and worry if we were not to use it?

What to do.. what to say?

I love you.

[Jason]

That's a bitchin' idea, TK. I'll gladly give some insight into my writing, but I don't have the time at the moment. There's a girlie waiting on a phone call from me, and we all know what happens when you keep a woman waiting.

I'll be posting some more of my writing either tomorrow or Sunday, and I'll include some insight into all of the pieces I've posted then.

Adios muchachos!

[Lofty]

Math & Vocab Assessment

I believe that in our day and age, educational facilities should focus not only on the basic elements of different fields, (math, physics, language, physical activities, etc.), but also on explaining to the students how knowledge in the different fields will benefit them. After all, a tool is useless unless you know how or where to use it.

For example, in school, many kids wonder why we learn mathematics etc., and why it is mandatory if they aren’t going into a mathematical field and so forth, but what they don’t realize, nor are told usually, is that the knowledge in the mathematics field doesn’t necessarily play it’s role out directly; on the other hand, it as an indirect basis/foundation for your mind’s rational contemplation/assessment processes. The understanding of math expands your mind’s borders of contemplation and processing information; a parallel analogy to this would be your vocabulary (and most students don’t realize this either), but enhancing your vocabulary broadens the range of your mental contemplation as well.

You see, having language as our primary method of communication, we subconsciously prioritize language/vocabulary as the standard basis for thought assessment; when you think of a tree, you first are likely to actually think of the word ‘tree’, followed by a mental image of what you have paired with the word [a tree], which is often triggered by the word, or vice versa. And so, when we think, we think with words; our thoughts consist of words - when you want to go shopping, you don’t think by simply picturing yourself going shopping, you actually say it in your head with words.

Therefore, in our current social state, words play an integral role concerning how far your thought process goes; if you lack the words to describe/fabricate your thoughts, then you are less likely to have them, or at least to the extent where you would truly be tangible in the versatility of your thoughts. You are also less likely to come up with efficient ideas or perceive various subtle aspects in things. How can you build a mighty & fancy castle out of building blocks if you only have so many blocks to choose from? How can you observe or perceive a molecule without the appropriate equipment competent of executing such tasks?

Math functions quite similarly; certain fundamentals of rational logic which apply in math also apply in a metaphysical sense in thought and daily life in a parallel manner; so by attaining the understanding of how these fundamentals function in a static and elementary environment such as math, your mind will acquire the necessary tools to be able to perform the same functions in one of math’s metaphysical parallels [thought, daily life, etc.]. Math is a form of universal logic; and logic exists in everything to an extent (relative or not).

So, the bottom line is, if you can grasp the functions of logic in math, which can be considered a form of standard logic, then you can use that understanding in acknowledging logic in almost any other field. Think of it like a flu shot; your immune system gets a taste of the bacteria’s structure, weaknesses/strengths, and overall topography, and then is capable of building up a defense mechanism against a stronger version of the same thing.

[Lofty]

This next piece started as a little rant a few years ago after two similiar disputes with two different friends in the same day. My writings usually sound pretty lofty so don't necessarily let that catch you off-guard and make you judge the writings in an emotionally bias manner.



Part 1 - The 3 common misconceptions; signs of the manipulative Consciousness.



When people say that you have complete control of your life, and that there is no fate, and that you alone decide what happens and so on....they get horribly confused in what is meant by that. Just like many people seem to have no idea what is meant by "equality" and what is meant by "we are all equal". In conclusion, you have all these people raving and flaring about how everyone is equal and there is no discrimination or segregation and all this other horribly far-fetched nonsense. When it is said that "we are all equal", it is meant that in this particular country, we all technically have equal rights and opportunities. This by far, does not make anyone "equal" genetically, mentally, physically, or on any other level.

***

When it is said that you have complete control of your life, it is meant that you have complete control of your life in relevance to what it is, or in relevance to how it was granted to you. If you were at the wheel of a three-wheeled car, and you have access to the pedals, gas, break, wheel to turn the car...then yes, you are in complete control of the car...which has three wheels. Regardless of how hard you may try to steer it accurately, you will only be able to reach the limit of what a three-wheeled car grants you concerning mobility. It does not matter how much effort you put into it.

When you are given the task to build a lego house out of blocks, you have complete control of how you build it, what you make of it, and how many and what blocks you use....out of the 10 blocks given to you, of 2 types of blocks, 5 of each type. What you do with those blocks, and how you do it, is up to you, it doesn't matter; but there is a severe limit on what your outcome will be.

If you are born with no legs....yes, you have complete control of your life - in relevance to the life you've been granted. You may want to choose to enter running in the Olympics all you want, but it won't happen, regardless of what you want or what you choose or how much effort you put into it.

Fate? Luck? Predestination? Call it what you wish. The result is nevertheless the same, therefore never be fooled into thinking you have no limits in your life, or that you have completely unconditional control of your life or where it is heading.

***

Every now and then I find people claiming that I try to act or make myself godly, and all this other hogwash which I personally do not strive towards. But, instead, I do have an alternative proposition. First of all, relative superiority/inferiority exist; that is something humans condemned themselves towards a long time ago.

Many [most] people in our society currently enjoy believing that superiority and inferiority don't exist. While technically they don't universally, in our society it once more couldn't be further from the truth.

Our society creates favorable conditions for superiority and inferiority to exist, by setting a standard/norm, which automatically sets the ground zero target point from which to derive all it's conclusions and relevance concerning everything that does not fall into the norm. Maybe if our society was a bit more individualistic, rather, housed more individuals than the homogenized mass it currently harbors, then there wouldn't be so much room for "norm" and "standard", due to the extreme diversification...but that is not the case. But, since our society can't get itself out of its mess, what's the next best thing it does? Tries to bring down and condemn any superiority.

There are countless methods it uses in accomplishing this task. One sly manner in which it does this, has to do with personality and mental [disorders]. While I must admit many of these [disorders] do indeed hinder one's life and/or daily activities, as the terms would imply they do, on the other hand there are many which actually allow for one's growth to exceed that of those who do not have these [disorders].

The other day someone showed me a personality disorder result from a test, telling me it matched me. It was a narcissistic personality disorder; and although for the most part it failed to provide legitimate characteristics that I hold, it did get me to think about these [disorders], the role many of them play, and one that I myself do indeed harbor [Obsessive compulsive personality disorder, not to be confused with obsessive compulsive disorder].

To a natural animal, including most human beings, the concept of superiority is an attack; a being's primary natural purpose is to grow, gain and evolve at any expense, and the more superior an animal is in relevance to another animal, the more chances there are of it's accomplishment of this task, even/especially in a case where it is an either/or scenario of the survival of either that animal, or it's inferior rival. (Normally, all other animals are rivals, since it is technically an every man for himself style world out there, not considering many/most humans which are exceptions. [Or shall I say, conceal this truth often in very manipulative manners to justify their consciousness]).

Having said that, of course our consciousness would feel threatened by this idea, and will be in an emotional distress, and our mind too will come to the logical deduction that for it's survival it is necessary to either become superior, or remove all superiority around it.

This is where some came up with ways to denounce those who are granted relative superiority in our society through certain anomalistic deviations from the standard mindset. This essentially is competent of fueling their [the people with these deviations from the standard mindset] perception, ambition, mindset, and awareness (as well as other concepts) beyond the norm/standards, which ultimately can grant one the capability to supersede the rest [or majority] into a state which can be considered a relative superiority. They [the people who denounce those who may have reached such a state] do this by calling these particular mental deviations [disorders], which is a negative implication, and 'negative' often tends to trigger and coexist with the word 'inferiority', which essentially accomplishes this task.

An example of a [disorder] such as this would be the obsessive compulsive personality disorder [OCPD]. It is very easy for me to elaborate extensively concerning this [disorder], since I am afflicted by it, and have been a good portion of my life, and am aware of what it has granted me.

While it would be inaccurate to say that I have solely benefited from this [disorder], I will say that the benefits derived from it far outweigh the negative aspects. In short, OCPD tends to cause one to be perfectionist [to their relative standards of perfection of course], precise, neat, orderly, ambitious, and other minor details. I'm sure everyone who is afflicted by it has their own unique variation of the [disorder].

In my case, it has caused me to be a strong perfectionist, which causes me to create very high standards and expectations for completion of my tasks. It has also granted me very fierce senses of ambition, pride, confidence, and other minor details, which I've used to manifest a strong amount of individuality within myself.

I've always felt like I could accomplish something as well or better than anyone else, regardless of what it is; it has allowed me to dwell into mindsets and thought patterns which most of the homogenized society never dream of entering; it has granted me the fierce motivation to realize my self and my grand goals, standards, and views of things.

Motivation is a key aspect here. Let's take an example. Suppose, there are two twins. Both twins are identical physically, have the same intelligence, yet one has this disorder, and another doesn't. The twin with the disorder will be granted this strong motivation to live up to all these expectations and accomplish all these tasks, and further progress him/herself, while the other will simply choose to 'go with the flow', and attempt nothing extra ordinary. Ultimately, the twin with the disorder will become superior to the other twin, in relevance to the society around them. This is an undisputable sequence of logic.

Society is like a big consciousness (Read part 2 about mind vs consciousness); which subconsciously/indirectly manipulates it's own self for it's own benefit. Just like consciousness manipulates itself by fabricating a multitude of denial scenarios and other sly ways to alleviate emotional stress, society too does the same in it's own degrees respectively.

When people label these mental deviations as disorders, the rest of the 'norm' society accepts it without question; for why wouldn't they, when this is like allying with another faction to battle a common foe [superiority]. Therefore, this allows for a strong psychological hype to exist against questioning the legitimacy of these negative labels, since such an overwhelming majority accepts them, people take for granted that there must be good enough reason for it therefore.


Well then...why do so many people misunderstand what is implied within these 3 statements - "You have complete control of your life; there is no fate", "We are all equal", and "Superiority/Inferiority don't exist"? Very simple. It is because the misunderstandings sound much more favorable to emotional reasoning, than their more disturbing truthful sides. What do I mean by emotional reasoning? That's coming up next.

[Lofty]

Part 2 - Mind vs. Consciousness; are they not the same?



There are those in this world, (I would say a large portion) who believe that their conscious thoughts are the unrefined product of their mind's deductive/assessment processes. Couldn't be further from the truth.

The mind and consciousness happen to be to very distinct aspects of one's self. Your mind is the natural, un-tampered, deductive mechanism which houses your instincts, intuition, assessment and rational contemplation processes, logical perception, as well as certain other concepts which all work together to allow one to survive and evolve, as an animal.

Your consciousness, on the other hand, is a manifestation of sorts, from the human's flawed cerebral cortex within the brain; an evolutionary error, so to say. Your consciousness is what gives you your emotions, awareness, as well as your ability to 'affectionately/emotionally reason', as I call it, beyond your natural deductive mechanisms. In other words, it allows you to 'live with your feelings & subjective reasoning' as some say, rather than ‘through mechanized logic and instinct‘.

For those who need further elaboration, a natural deduction can be witnessed with any animal; if an animal steps on something which gives it pain, it will refrain from doing it again: Stepping on something = pain, therefore: Animal minus stepping on something = no pain. 'Affectionate reason', on the other hand, is what a human would do - it would ponder as in why the action resulted in pain, how to avoid it next time by stepping there again, how the whole situation may be alleviated and so forth.

The existence of this consciousness condemns us to being sensitive to emotions, as I have mentioned, which allows for a favorable environment where one can be 'unhappy', as well as 'happy'. The existence of the consciousness also further allows for one to reason as to which events would cause one to be happy, and which would cause one to be unhappy, and therefore takes charge over influencing one concerning which events are experienced, and which aren't, which thoughts/deductions are accepted and which aren't, so as to refine life and the thought process into an unnatural [as well as often untruthful], clouded, refined static [non-dynamic] outcome.

This can have many outcomes. A primary one is the fact that most people are hurled into overwhelming ignorance through this device, which hinders their perception and makes room for friction when associating with others, especially those capable of perceiving the truth behind this ignorant refinement.

Allow me to explain. Suppose your mind, the natural deductive mechanism which does reach truth, and logically accurate conclusions through logic, comes up with a particular deduction concerning something. Now, the mind has accepted this to be truth. But...your consciousness is what is aware...and what can be called "you"...therefore, until that outcome the mind has come up with goes through your consciousness and is accepted there...it is irrelevant to 'you'; in fact, you probably won't even be aware of the deduction's existence.

Now...suppose this outcome goes from the mind to the consciousness, and the consciousness, prone to emotional damage, does not accept this outcome, not because it is not true or accurate, but because it would cause emotional damage...then that outcome will simply be obsolete.


Let's use an example. Suppose through rational/logical deduction, your mind reaches the conclusion that you are overweight, in relevance to your body height, age, and so on. This is often 'emotional harm', for the consciousness, therefore upon reaching the consciousness, and being assessed by the consciousness..the outcome is filtered, and made justifiable in relevance to your emotionally acceptable subjective perspective standards.

This can be many things: suppose you drink a lot, and your mind is aware of that, and that you may be addicted or an alcoholic, but once that idea gets to your consciousness, your consciousness will filter that idea with emotions, and will influence you not to finish the bottles you drink, and leave a little left and put it back into the refrigerator.

Afterwards, if the idea sent by the mind strikes your consciousness again, that you drink too much, your consciousness will make the deliberately false deduction that due to the non-decreasing amount of bottles in the refrigerator, there is no blunt sign that you have this drinking problem, therefore leaving the emotional environment unharmed, as well as temporarily pacifying any friction between itself and the mind.

So then, back to the question in part 1 - Why do people claim I try to act godly or superior and so forth? Simple - that is the result of their consciousness' refinement of the truth that their mind concluded to. Let's take an example.

Suppose I was superior in relevance to someone else in regards to diction or vocabulary, that person’s mind would come to the truthful deduction that I am indeed superior to him/her regarding vocabulary or diction. Upon sending that conclusion to the consciousness, the consciousness would find that to be an emotionally disturbing factor, therefore it will distort the variables from "Aha, so this person has better vocabulary and diction than me", into "This person is trying to sound and act smart", because that would automatically justify the mind's rational claims, as well as appeal to the emotional consciousness.

Of course, it would be foolish to say that the person is usually aware of this whole process; on the contrary, many have no idea that this is what actually happens. Simply a conclusion I've come to after a few incidents of this "You try to act godly" scenario, which I formerly had no answer to.

An unfortunate paradox this is, which causes one to experience an internal struggle between mind and consciousness all their life, another reason why this evolution is a flaw. And this appears all throughout life - one's instincts [mind] tell one to strive for self gain and nothing but self gain, yet the emotional aspect of our society [consciousness] teaches us that self gain [or inconsiderate self gain, which practically all beings yearn for as a survival instinct, whether your consciousness allows you to accept it or not] is to be considered negative; therefore how can we abominations live? When the pinnacle of our existence rests among the scales of two opposing forces - the mind and the consciousness. We are simply evolutionary heretics. The human being is a living dichotomy; a damnation onto itself and those around it. Oh well..I suppose even nature is susceptible to allowing a flaw or two to slip from it's grasp every few million years.

[Lofty]

The following is another piece I wrote a few years ago, which touches upon the debatable subject of love and ties into a much more comprehensive writing piece I wrote a year or two afterwards which I will post following it. There is indeed a physiological feeling paired with love which may bring one towards justifying the concept, however I elaborate on that more in the piece following this one. There are also a couple of amendments in that following piece towards some of the ideas I bring about in this one.

------

The concept of love is a rather debatable one - there’s many variations to what people believe to be love or whether true love exists; in my own ignorance I once had naive understandings of it (or lacks of), and over time I’ve gained new perspectives which I wish to share, and that love is not necessarily a concept which we have so easily come to accept as a beneficial aspect of our lives....and the fact that even reaching such a state of true love (towards another) is an extremely difficult task to accomplish, and mentally quite unhealthy and potentially dangerous.

Allow me to start by establishing an overall understanding between all the parties, what true, unconditional love is defined as. Love, is a concept which defies the desire for self gain, and is a concept which is defined by the lack of a desire for self gain, and fueled by a desire to benefit the one this love is directed towards.

We are speaking of true love, of course. Unconditional love....which has no conditions; essentially, it is a love which knows no limits, and has, in my mind, spawned from ancient tales in which humans have described this theoretical, magnificent feeling which pushes humans to great heights, and brings them lots of joy....once created by a people who were dreamers..who let their imaginations soar to what would be paradise...if it were possible. For certainly, tales are often written with a goal of bringing up ideas or concepts which would alleviate and diminish as much of the turmoil which plagues humans as possible, and this action does make logical sense.

This is but one of the many aspects which lead me to believe that love, has over time shifted into a manipulative concept which one's mind uses as an excuse in the motive of manipulating one's own self and justifying selfish desires for gain from another. I am not in any manner, accusing people of intentionally doing any of this; it in fact quite often is not intentional at all, and on the contrary, is very much believed consciously to be love.

Most people don't realize this, but they manipulate themselves in all sorts of very sly ways, for all sorts of reasons; to justify actions which were once taught as wrong, to put away the realization of one's own shortcomings as efficiently as possible; and to favor gain as much as possible, in whatever positive light the mind can contrive.

The primary error in all of this, is a common teaching in our society that a desire for self gain is not a good value...when in reality it is a human instinct of survival. Having said that, I automatically acknowledge that anybody who has no desire for self gain is mentally ill. In fact, just these obscene notions of universal rights and wrongs, goods and bads, are all fatal errors which allow favorable conditions to exist where concepts heavily relying on relativity can exist.

Superiority and inferiority, for example, do not exist universally...but in our society they do...because our society sets a norm/standard. By setting a standard/norm, it automatically sets a ground zero target point from which to draw all conclusions/relevance of anything that is not a norm , and is either higher or lower, thus the terms superior and inferior.

These labels and judgments are what force us humans to take all these routes in living our lives, and all these detours, from what one side says is right, and another side says is wrong. This is where a dichotomy concerning love comes in; unconditional love has you put your desire aside, and have your loved one's well-being come as a primary. It's either one or the other, having both will cancel each other out; if you have desires for self gain that will come first obviously, yet if you set that aside and allow your loved one's well-being come first, you are basically overriding natural mechanisms, and creating mentally unhealthy situations.

If everyone could easily shift like that, we would all be extinct. Our problem, as humans, is our ability to reason. It is an evolutional error, which will curse humans forever, by allowing them to overrule natural outcomes which come only of best interest, and by making situations of flaw and inefficiency which hinder it's own species' evolution.

It is this same problem, which will always allow humans to find these situations, where we are infused with beliefs initially while we are raised, and then grow up to become aware of the massive dominance this belief may hold, and then some of us question it further, and come to the conclusions that these concepts contradict themselves, or are just not possible the way they are contrived.

Take love, for instance. Think of the things you love. If done accurately, neutrally, you will realize, that all the things you love bring you a sort of gain. I love life...because it grants me the ability to experience everything and all...for my own gain...so that I may enjoy it all while I can....and pleasure my mind in it's ever-growing thirst for understanding and awareness....every moment is bliss; I cannot imagine how a heaven can exist which can surpass the dynamic range of positive and negative feelings I feel every minute on this earth. I love candy, because it's sweet and tastes good. I love music, because it triggers the release of serotonin and dopamine by allowing the brain to acknowledge mathematically correct note patterns. These are a few examples, but should prove sufficient in showing the legitimacy of my point.

Have you ever wondered why there is so much confusion towards love? Why sometimes it hurts so much? Other times it's the opposite? It's due to the fact that humans have sufficient sound judgment to catch on to the flaws of the concept, but a very mediocre amount actually grasp the mechanics behind it...or even try to. It took me this long even, to figure it out, and I usually figure things out quickly.

A common thought that one would have would be "But, I want to make my loved one happy, it makes me feel good". When people have that thought, they are not perceiving the accurate reason for the pleasurable feeling after pleasing their loved ones. It's probably not because you truly have a desire to do so, but because it's a subconscious justification act which justifies your self desire for that person, and even though most people don't realize this, what they are basically doing is this - "Well, I did these good things for him/her, thus I am not being totally selfish" and they don't feel bad about their actions.

In fact it makes perfect sense why people say "when you love someone it makes you feel good doing something good to them"....of course it makes you feel good, because you justify your selfish acts and don't feel guilty anymore. But again...self gain desires aren't a negative aspect.

Thus, I come to the conclusion, that given the definition love has, the only way it can be experienced in a healthy manner, is towards yourself. Self love is the only true type of healthy love, and until our society is able to accept this, as well as the painful truth behind love, and slowly recondition itself to live upon the real human mechanics, until then our society will always find itself confused and in a shroud of ignorance concerning such concepts.

[Torn Wing]

Here's one I wrote called "The Makeover"

Don't judge us by the things we do
We just hate you
You pitiful fool
You think you're cool
Try to fit in
Though you know it's a sin
Throw your soul in the air
And sell it like you just don't care
Throw your morals to the wind
Let your body twist and bend
We will shape you into perfection
Just don't expect to see your reflection
I hope you're happy with what you've become
You may be insensitive, but thats because we've made your heart numb
We altered your state of mind
And put your feelings in a bind
Oh but we aren't done yet
There are a few more things we need to get
Like a pitchfork, and some fire and brimstone
I hope you like where we're sending you, but don't worry, you won't be alone
We'll be there by your side
Because we decided to come along on the ride

[Lofty]

Alright, this piece was written 2-3 years after the ‘love’ one above. It’s actually a comprehensive mix between that and the Mind vs. Consciousness paper concepts, with added elaboration. It won't fit in one post so I'll make a couple. As I re-read this, it’s quite nice to see particular powerful trains of thought which I may not have consciously thought about for some time now.

Read some of these writings a few times if you must; I’m certain some of these trains of thought may be difficult to grasp from the perspective I am coming from.

I write my works from my own perspective, therefore they all are written as if they were stated truth. It should be however, acknowledged that topics I bring up are debatable and that I understand there can be points which supersede mine concerning objective logic. Therefore, feel free to give alternative ideas or those which may conflict with some that I bring up; it would always be refreshing to hear a legitimate argument which could light up a more evolved perspective in my reasoning.


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Despite my age, (what universal relevance does the duration of one’s physical body have anyway? Merely a promoter of ignorance which clouds one’s perception by initiating inevitable stereotypical prejudgments which the brain reacts to such concepts [stimuli] with) I’ve decided to retire from relationships about say...2-3 years ago. Satiating physical desires or emotional adventures with the opposite sex are one thing, but actual relationships are another. But can you blame me for this choice? One may wonder why I do this, or think that it’s a foolish move or that committed relationships are better than just casual dating due to all the lovely things which will outweigh the negative aspects and so on and so on...

But first, allow me to explain my deductions behind this conclusion. First off, I don’t believe a relationship can successfully last over a certain period of time. Yes I know, this is where you go “Well my grandparents have been sweethearts since they were 17!”, but chances are, they figured it would be more of a hassle for them (and their families) to divorce or go about their way and so forth, than just putting up with one another. Perhaps more of a responsibility bond, or maybe influenced religiously, or perhaps by the ideas which are held behind marriage [together forever until death] etc.

I have a few reasons to why I believe a relationship cannot successfully last beyond a certain period of time (The word successful in this case implies satisfaction on behalf of both parties, no regrets, no desire to be with someone else instead of their partner, no loss of interest, and so forth). First off, people always change, and so do their perceptions, desires, motivations, and over time, it is almost inevitable that they will no longer want or like what their partner possesses, or the partner will no longer like them, or won’t have the qualities they once had, and vice versa, etc.

Another key aspect is the human mind and consciousness (refer to my article about Mind vs. Consciousness). The basis for the human mind and consciousness currently revolves around one principle - achievement. The minds’ natural instincts to succeed and progress are further fueled by the emotional reasoning of the consciousness, resulting in a hybrid manifestation which is our current Mind/Consciousness state - to attain achievements which grant both physical survival and emotional well-being.

Since humans have emotions, they require maintenance, just like our body requires maintenance. This maintenance is achieved through stimulation; for the body it is physical pleasure, for the emotions - challenges are set forth, and desires/goals to achieve are stimulation. Stimulation requires focus on utilization of whatever is being stimulated, and utilization means that energy is being devoted towards the object being stimulated, which in turn causes growth, which is the innate characteristic of life itself, and therefore a core aspect of one’s survival instincts.

Everything you do in your life is fueled by this motivation to achieve. Most people have difficulty realizing this, and having never been robbed of the need to ‘achieve’ something, are naive concerning how frighteningly meaningless their life would be when they wish ‘they had everything they wanted‘, or a ‘genie to give them anything they want at any moment‘. As sad as it may be to some of you, the peak and goal of your life is what you are experiencing now, not a particular outcome you dream of.

But, in order for the human consciousness to sanely survive in accordance to this reality, (which emotional reasoning cannot accept in a non-paradoxical manner) this truth has to be hindered intricately from the host. Therefore, one’s life is unintentionally staged from the start as a strive to achieve particular goals, and one comes to accept those particular goals as the ’final outcome’, when in reality, the whole process of achieving those goals is what your life is truly about.

One who is perceptive enough, will eventually catch on to this after reaching numerous amounts of goals, and seeing that one is still dissatisfied. Some take longer to become dissatisfied, others are quicker with their discontent. It’s a paradox, much like a video game. When you buy a video game, you want to beat it. You play to beat it, to enjoy it, to enjoy beating it. But some of us, realize that when we beat it, chances are we will significantly lose interest in the game, yet we don’t want to lose interest in it, so technically we don’t want to beat it, but if we don’t want to beat it, we won’t be interested in the game. And life goes on.

“Psst Andy how does any of that tie into relationships?” Don’t worry, after I finish explaining this, you’ll see how.

Anyway, for those who haven’t caught on yet, your minds’ desires and achievement goals are regulated in relevance to your current state. There can be no final outcome; your mind will always adjust that accordingly, it is simply the biological nature of your brain; it needs constant motivation which is provided through setups of challenges/goals, motivation is required for survival, and survival is the essence of life.

Let’s take a simple example. Suppose you are a beggar on the streets. Five cents is an ok amount for you, 50 cents is nice, five dollars is amazing. Suppose you win the lottery the next day - 10 million dollars. Regardless of anything you’ve learned during your struggles on the streets, not to take money for granted etc, eventually within a month or a few months of living in that state, five dollars would be nothing to you, 1,000 dollars would alright, and your goal would be to income a couple of thousand at a time at the least.

While this may seem like a depressing fact, being that due to your nature you will never be satisfied with any particular outcome, it is necessary for our survival...or should I say, was certainly necessary before the evolution of our cerebral cortex. Back then you didn’t have reasoning, so you couldn’t simply conclude to how much food your body required for survival, or use any other type of reasoning to survive. Therefore, only a strive such as this to always better yourself could ensure our species’ survival.

But, due to our new type of brain, this instinct takes a step further. Now, our emotional aspects are hungry, and require fulfillment as well. This emotional stimulation is found in the sport of setting certain goals, and striving towards them. Relationship is one such aspect. I think this following paragraph I wrote in a conversation with someone concerning whether Homosexuality is a physical/biological defect or not, provides further elaboration:


“As far as it being a choice in regards to humans, that is correct; the key aspect here is that humans have the ability to reason, the ability to make choices due to the outcome of such reasoning; as we evolved as sentient beings aside from being simple animals bound by nature, we lost many abilities. The ability for example, to produce enough natural pheromone to attract one of the opposite gender; in other words, many of our post aspects have become desensitized.

Another such aspect is our priority behind finding a mate, it is no longer about continuing the species, in fact, these days quite a large portion of the population attempts to prevent that which was once the only reason for mating.

Humans live from the perspectives of emotional reasoning now; the human consciousness is completely filtered with reasoning and emotional integration; the priority therefore, and primary purpose, behind relationships now is, to satisfy the hungers and deficiencies which humans experience due to the stimulation of these newly found aspects - emotion and rational contemplation, and the maintenance the two require accordingly.

And, accordingly with the individual preference one acquires over time, one may find it necessary to date one type of person [female] to satisfy these new aspects, another, on the other hand, may find it necessary to date another type of person [male], be it gender difference, personality difference, or any other type of difference”


All these trivial aspects are part of the minds’ pastime - depression, happiness, everything is required in order for the mind to be stimulated satisfactorily in a dynamic range of emotions.

Continued in next post

[Lofty]

Continued from last post

So, how about relationships? Well, in many cases, the mind may acquire an attraction towards someone simply because it is (from the mind’s perspective) difficult to obtain that person’s affection. That’s what playing hard to get is all about. There may be the perfect guy, nice, considerate, and have all these nice qualities, but he may live just for you, and do anything for you, and be everywhere for you, and you basically know that you can achieve anything you want with this person - relationship, marriage, whatever.

This turns the mind off in many cases; the mind wants something that’s tougher to get. So, instead of going for this guy, you may go for one that isn’t as thoughtful or sweet, but appears to be more difficult to get into a relationship with. So, suppose you finally manage to get with this guy, and over time you realize that he’s in your hands, it’s no longer about whether this guy can be yours or not, so you begin to lose interest.

That’s another example where a relationship would go amiss. If you know you can be with them and there’s no difficulty keeping them yours, then you don’t want to be with them, so the relationship wont work in that case. So you go for one where you’re not sure if you can keep the person, which means the relationship is bound to fail unless that person too becomes someone you know you can keep, meaning the purpose is lost once more.

That’s just one example; of course not everyone functions in that manner of “hard to get”. So, let’s get down to the heart of the matter - the bread and butter of love (refer to my article about Love).

Love as a concept appears to be artificial, which serves its purpose of justifying emotional reasoning for humans. It is one of the most paradoxical concepts ever [created] by man. Was it created intentionally by some ingenious character, or did it manifest itself within society over thousands of years?

We may never know the truth concerning that, but it really doesn’t matter anymore either, since love is strongly integrated into the mindset of the masses regardless of it’s origin as a concept. In any case, love was most likely introduced during a time of hardships and turmoil...perhaps there was someone ingenious enough to perceive the hardships at the time, and to find the concept of love to be a remedy to it, at least to some extent.

The common interpretation of love was an over exaggerated and miscalculated assessment of the emotion you feel, which we call 'love', which people decided to understand at some point apparently. You see, back in those days, life was hard, and tough; people relied on morale and motivation to keep them alive - stories, fairy tales; ideas of a magnificent feeling that makes people do wonders was a wonderful motivation. But it was exaggerated, just like many other folk tales and stories. I too believed in that type of love once, until I realized the grand flaw of such reasoning - how it fatally conflicts with the primary purpose of a living being.


“But Andy, have you ever truly fell in love with someone, and felt that magnificent feeling?”


Yes I have, and I must say it is a very exquisite experience and an impressive, ample demonstration of the consciousness’ incredible ability to manipulate itself. In order to not only satisfy it's desire for self gain, but also it's emotional reasoning and satisfaction, the consciousness has to not only acquire gain from the other person, but ease its own emotional judgment by literally convincing itself that what it feels is a supernatural feeling that is labeled 'love'.

And yes, the feeling is real and is artificially created by the consciousness in it's desperate attempt to satisfy both sides of the picture. The mind and consciousness knows no bounds in evolution or survival; I think the success of the human race to this point in time gives ample proof of that. You think a funeral causes sadness? No - again, confusion on behalf of how emotions work. Events don’t cause you to feel one way or another, it’s your consciousness that pairs feelings with certain types of events.

The feeling of love is not fake, it’s simply created to satisfy an ulterior motive from what the consciousness concludes to being the real motive. The ingenious workings of the emotional/reasoning aspects of the human consciousness are as fascinating as the ingenious orchestration of the instinctual mind through means of natural selection. The consciousness aspects are simply far more subtle, and harder to catch on to, since the apparatus used to catch on to it is the consciousness, and the consciousness wouldn’t want you to understand its crafty means of keeping itself content through manipulation and loopholes.

You see, for any normal animal, all that matters is survival; it's an instinct which allows a species to survive; and to survive one must strive for self gain. Humans have an evolved cerebral cortex in the brain which allows for emotions, and reasoning with the help of emotions. In our society, using this 'emotional reasoning', humans have come to accept certain 'moral values' - it's not 'nice' to hurt people, or it's not 'nice' to strive for sole self gain; better to ‘give than receive‘.

This conflicts with the survival essence which will always exist in humans so long as they survive. This conflict in turn, causes humans emotional disturbance. So, in order to justify their strive for self gain, which will always exist, yet is condemned at the same time paradoxically, humans, over thousands of years, whether intentionally or not, have come up with a concept which would justify this 'hunger'. It would not only allow them to strive for self gain, but it wouldn't conflict with moral or ethical issues as well. This concept is 'love'.

Anything anyone loves they love simply because it brings them gain. You can't think of anything you love if it doesn't give you a gain of some sort. If it makes you ’happy’ to see your loved one happy, then you are satisfying that aspect of being happy by doing so. Even if you were brought up to just do good things for other people or whatnot, for no reason whatsoever, then you are nevertheless satisfying your own values you hold, which is a selfish deed.

And the reason you sometimes feel like 'giving' to the things or people you love, can vary. For some, it's because their sub consciousness realizes that if it strives for sole gain, it would feel guilty, and therefore manages to manipulate the consciousness into thinking it's 'doing it out of love', when in reality it's emotional compensation for using this person or thing for gain. For others, they don't wish to lose this source of gain, so they indirectly come to the deduction that by giving back, they will replenish and reinforce the source to some extent, and minimize the chances of losing it.

Anyone who 'truly loves' for no gain is going against their own reason for existence and is in need of mental adjustment, though it’s hard to believe such cases exist. In almost every case of infatuation or unconditional love, the reason for this outcome lies in how strongly one wishes to benefit from or keep the source they are obsessed with so selflessly. So ironically, their selflessness only reinforces the fact that they are being selfish by going to such unhealthy extremes.

It’s simply a case where the subtle consciousness/sub consciousness is too smart for it’s own good, and manipulates the consciousness too far towards the extreme. A case where the sub consciousness feeds the consciousness with such strong ideas of justification for it’s moral-breaching activity that the consciousness begins to believe it so strongly that it outweighs the sub consciousness’ intentions, and truly begins to hunger for being selfless, which is a horrible retardation.

But hey, with something so unstable which consists of two paradoxical aspects [instinctual mind + emotional reasoning consciousness=our brain] in other words an evolutionary freak accident, such retardations and many others are highly anticipated.

Continued in next post

[Lofty]

Continued from last post

Before I continue any further, let me elaborate a bit more on how our brain consists of two paradoxical aspects. I feel I have sufficiently explained this in my Mind vs Consciousness article, but I received a question or two asking for elaboration on it, so I will add my reply here.


“Well, both the Consciousness and the Mind stem from the brain, the cerebral cortex simply allows for the brain to divide into 2 aspects, the Mind and the Consciousness. The Consciousness is not an 'entity' of it's own, it's simply a more [or differently] evolved stem of the brain in relevance to the instinctual and basic Mind aspect, which [the mind] logically created itself out of the path the species took throughout its many years of existence. Natural Selection in a sense.

Both aspects of the brain though, are on conflicting terms; one (the mind) follows a path which is strictly logically accurate objectively, in accordance to the events the species is exposed to in the environment (the environment being the foundational relevance from which objective logic would be contrived from), the other stems from an unstable emotional reasoning, where the species uses its own basis for relative [subjective] logic to come to its own decisions (which might not necessarily be accurate in relevance to the universally logical aspects of the dominant environment).“


Following the path of reasoning in our society, we have come to a point where our deductions using the subjective reasoning we have concluded to as the standard, contradict the instinctual mind. Contradiction of something which is instinctual causes disturbance, therefore a conflict begins between the two aspects to justify the behaviors of both.

The mind does so by forcing the person to submit to it’s instinctual guidelines (try to stop breathing until you pass out), the consciousness does so by finding loopholes which can be used to therefore justify these conflicting decisions of the mind. Or sometimes, simply focusing on the positive aspects of the choice, and completely disregarding those which it finds “immoral” or “wrong”. Like saying a glass is half full or half empty.

Breathing can be taken as a simple analogy to this, for those who are beginning to lose my train of thought. If your consciousness finds it ‘immoral” to breathe, for example, and you try to stop breathing, that will cause conflict between the consciousness’ choice, and the minds’ instinctual choice. You will feel disturbed by it. Eventually, your consciousness will come up with a reason to resume breathing, before you pass out. The mind gets its way, and your consciousness finds its justification acceptable to allow the mind to have its way.

After all, the instinctual mind must get its way; its instinctual decisions are based on thousands of years of trial and error, natural selection, to find the optimum solution in relevance to the logic of the environment it is exposed to. Same with this. Mind struggles for self gain, consciousness denounces it in that light, and comes up with a way to justify it [love]. Mind gets its way by receiving gain, consciousness is content with the gain because it has assured itself that self gain is not at the heart of the matter, by defending its actions with the idea behind love, and love is what it claims to strive for. And so, life goes on.

What would be the primary goal for any living being other than to survive? If you don't survive you don't exist, if you don't exist then how can you accomplish any second hand desires? You love things because they contribute to your physical/emotional survival, and some enhance it. Why enhance it, when you could just settle for it the way it is? Because chances are if you become dissatisfied with the way things are, you’ll end up wanting to cease to exist, which would defeat the primary goal of survival.


“So Andy, why give up on relationships? Go for it and gain all you want =D =D”


That’s where I am the victim of an indirect crime. Being the flawed human I am, just like everyone else, I too have conscious values which I cannot escape, even upon understanding how they may be illogical. This is due to the fact that conditioning throughout your early stages of life cannot be so easily wiped out. I grew up with pretty devotional and committed views. Imagine how these revelations must have hit me eh?

For me to go along with this whole love act and consciously know that I'm simply manipulating not only myself but the person who is confused into thinking I 'love' them, would be worse than actually being ignorant and thinking I love them.

At least most people think they’re in love and have a certain innocence behind which to continue their strives for gain, and relationship. I have been robbed of that innocence the moment I came to these understandings; I am deprived of the justification most people ingeniously acquire through their ignorance concerning their own actions, just as criminals can only be pardoned from their fatal sentences if they 'did not know that what they were doing was "wrong" when they did it'.

Ignorance allows anyone to live contently regardless of how accurate their beliefs are in relevance to the logical [objective in relevance to the macrocosm environment subject is exposed to] truth. So all in all, understanding all this would cause too much emotional disturbance in a relationship for it to actually bring me any gain as it was initially intended to bring.

The ideal situation would be to find someone who has come to these same realizations (what are the chances of that?), and then a unique relationship of using one another could possibly be created. Even then, values I’ve acquired while I grew up would make it seem too odd. Or should I say, values I have not acquired?

How many examples of such a relationship have I seen? Sure, one may know how to act in a normal relationship...but how about one such as this? I wouldn’t even know how to carry such a relationship. I mean how do two people who know that true love doesn’t exist other than towards one’s self and that their relationship is to better themselves hold a relationship?

Therefore over a period of time I have simply adjusted for a form of mutual mind and consciousness content...just like everyone else...and in my case have settled for casual flirt/dating period scenarios.

Such is my fate. After all, ignorance is indeed bliss.

“Consciousness is the malnourished infant brother of the instinctual mind, which has stolen the keys of authority, to make decisions in accordance to it's limited views and understandings of the subtle logical workings of the world, which took the instinctual mind hundreds of thousands of years to map out." - Lofty

[DoTheFandango]

Let me explain my writings.

I like to place the narration in a person's mind. Their different thinking paths and what not. Both are based on actual occurences, but not actual events.

Both are from the viewpoint of me (the boy in Story I). Me and this girl have been great friends for years now, and I've wanted so much more from the start. I love her as if she was my wife.

The first one was from a fireworks show, we were coming home and we both happened to lean on the glass at the same time. We never kissed, but I regret not doing it.

The Second one is me trying to get up the courage to say those 3 words. I Love You. I said them to her the night in which I wrote this. I wrote the writing in about 10 minutes.

That is the thing about my pieces, I write them on a instant. If it takes too long to come out you are thinking too hard about it. I enjoy simplistic writing that has deep meaning. When your own conscious is yelling at you, you feel this emptiness, and shock.