Jokes of tht day... (1st)29/09/02

[DoTheFandango]

Originally posted by Cpt.Guano!
sir gaunt...
you post alot

watch out annux hes going to catch up

Sir Gaunt:

Date Registered: 09-16-2002
Total Posts: 219 (15.64 posts per day)

Annux:

Date Registered: 06-30-2002
Total Posts: 1200 (12.92 posts per day)

scary thing is that he was made in Sept 2002

[DoTheFandango]

100th post ! PARTY




Pornographic material, be it hardcore or softcore, is not permiited on this forum. Please do not post that type of material here. -PUSH

[Bluedandy]

He has hairy thighs.

And you can see her naughty chestboobs!

[DoTheFandango]

Originally posted by Bluedandy

And you can see her naughty chestboobs!

SHHHHHHHHHH!
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Thats not bad......Unless your a girl
Cause then all u would have is that hairy legged dude!
But only Sir Gaunt could use that one!
PWnED FrkEd Owned U ub3r 1337 b17( ]-[!
ub3r man!

[dark_mistress]

Jokes of the day(2nd)1/10/02

10 Husbands!!!

TEN HUSBANDS

A lawyer married a woman who had previously divorced ten husbands.On their wedding night, she told her new husband, "Please be gentle; I'm still a virgin.

What?" said the puzzled groom. "How can that be if you've been married ten times?

"Well, husband #1 was a Sales Representative;
he kept telling me how great it was going to be.

Husband #2 was in Software Services;
he was never really sure how it was supposed to function, but he said he'd look into it and get back to me.

Husband #3 was from Field Services;
he said everything checked out diagnostically but he just couldn't get the system up.

Husband #4 was in Telemarketing;
even though he knew he had the order, didn't know when he would be able to deliver.

Husband #5 was an Engineer;
he understood the basic process but wanted three years to research, implement, and design a new state-of-the-art method.

Husband #6 was from Finance and Administration;
he thought he knew how, but he wasn't sure whether it was his job or not.

Husband #7 was in Marketing;
although he had a product, he was never sure how to position it.

Husband #8 was a psychiatrist;
all he ever did was talk about it.

Husband #9 was a gynecologist;
all he did was look at it.

Husband #10 was a stamp collector;
all he ever did was ... God, I miss him!

"But now that I've married you, I'm really excited!"
"Good," said the husband, "but, why?"
"Duh; you're a LAWYER. This time I KNOW I'm gonna get screwed!"

[dark_mistress]

Jokes of the day(3rd)1/10/02

New inventions by blondes!!
The water-proof towel
Glow in the dark sunglasses
Solar powered flashlights
Submarine screen doors
A book on how to read
Inflatable dart boards
A dictionary index
Powdered water
Pedal powered wheel chairs
Water proof tea bags
Watermelon seed sorter
Zero proof alchohol
Reusable ice cubes
See through tiolet tissue
Skinless bananas
Do it yourself roadmap
Helicopter ejector seat

[dark_mistress]

The jokes of the day(4th)

Government Workers!
Four men were bragging about how smart their cats are.

The first man was an Engineer, the second an Accountant, the third was a Chemist, the fourth was a Government Worker.

To show off, the Engineer called to his cat, "T-square, do your stuff!"

T-square pranced over to a desk, took out some paper and a pen and promptly drew a circle, a square, and a triangle. Everyone agreed that was pretty smart.

But the Accountant said his cat could do better. He called his cat and said, "Spreadsheet, do your stuff!"

Spreadsheet went out into the kitchen and returned with a dozen cookies. He divided them into 4 equal piles of 3 cookies each. Everyone agreed that was good.

But the Chemist said his cat could do better. He called his cat and said, "Measure, do your stuff!"

Measure got up, walked over to the fridge, took out a quart of milk, got a 10 ounce glass from the cupboard and poured exactly 8 ounces without spilling a drop. Everyone agreed that was good.

Then the three men turned to the Government Worker and said, "What can your cat do?"

The Government Worker called to his cat and said, Coffee Break, do your stuff!"

Coffee Break jumped to his feet, ate the cookies, drank the milk, shit on the paper, screwed the other three cats, claimed he injured his back while doing so, filed a grievance report for unsafe working conditions, put in for Workers Compensation and went home for the rest of the day on sick leave.

[GuruMeditation]

Didn't you retire?

[Annux]

Can we bring back the Inquisition?

[Superted]

You can just tell tomorrows will be something like

A horse walks
into a bar
and the barman
says, why the
long face

[DoTheFandango]

Originally posted by DoTheFandango
100th post ! PARTY




Pornographic material, be it hardcore or softcore, is not permiited on this forum. Please do not post that type of material here. -PUSH

Cmon
Sir Gaunt was excited for a sec!

[Sir Gaunt]

Lol I didn't even see the picture.
I'm only on this dam forum until 12-5pm monday-thur.

[dark_mistress]

Jokes of the day(5th) 2/10/02

Stupid Questions?
Below are questions that people "actually asked" of Park Rangers around the country, proving once again that there is no known limit to the depths of human stupidity.
(Source: Outside Magazine)

Grand Canyon National Park...
Was this man-made?
Do you light it up at night?
I bought tickets for the elevator to the bottom -- where is it?
So where are the faces of the presidents?

Everglades National Park...
Are the alligators real?
Are the baby alligators for sale?
Where are all the rides?
What time does the two o'clock bus leave?

Denali National Park (Alaska)...
What time do you feed the bears?
Can you show me where the yeti lives?
How often do you mow the tundra?
How much does Mount McKinley weigh?

Mesa Verde National Park...
Did people build this, or did Indians?
Why did they build the ruins so close to the road?
What did they worship in the kivas -- their own made-up religion?
Do you know of any undiscovered ruins?
Why did the Indians decide to live in Colorado?

Carlsbad Caverns National Park...
How much of the cave is underground?
So what's in the unexplored part of the cave?
Does it ever rain in here?
How many Ping-Pong balls would it take to fill this up?
So what is this -- just a hole in the ground?

Yosemite National Park...
Where are the cages for the animals?
What time do you turn on Yosemite Falls?
Can I get my picture taken with the carving of President Clinton?

Yellowstone National Park...
Does Old Faithful erupt at night?
How do you turn it on?
When does the guy who turns it on get to sleep?
We had no trouble finding the park entrances, but where are the exits?

[Superted]

Hehe, american, what a surprise

[dark_mistress]

lol... thats right Disliked!!!