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Weird and Stupid Crime Story

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  • Weird and Stupid Crime Story

    At the 1994 annual awards dinner given to the American Association for forensice science, AAFS President Don Harper Mills astounded his audience in San Diego with the legal complications of a bizarre death. Here is the story:


    "On March 23rd 1994, the medical exaimner viewed the body of Ronald Opus and concluded that he died from a shotgun wound to the head. The deceased had jumped from the top of a ten-story building intending to commit suicide (he left a note indicating his despondency). As he fell past the ninth floor, his life was interupted by a shotgun blast through a window, which killed him instantly. Neither the shooter nor the deceased was aware that a safety net had been erected at the eight floor level to protect some window washers and that Opus would not have been able to complete his suicide anyway because of this."


    "Ordinarily" Dr. Mills continued "a person who sets out to commit suicide ultimately succeeds, even though the mechanism might not be what he intended. That Opus was shot on the way to certain death nine stories below probably would not have changed his mode of death from suicide to homicide. But the fact that his suicidal intent would not have been succesful caused the medical examiner to feel that he had homicide on his hands. The room on the ninth floor where the shotgunb last emanated was occupied by an elderly gentleman and his wife. They were arguing and he was threatening her with the shotgun. He was so upset that when he pulled the trigger, he completly missed his wife and the pellets went through a window, striking Opus. When one intends to kill subject A btu kills subject B in the attempt, one is guilty of the murder of subject B. When confronted with this charge the old man and his wife were both adamant that neither knew that the shotgunw as loaded. The old man said it was his long standing habit to threaten his wife with the unloaded shotgun. He had no intention to murder her - therefore, the killing of Opus appeared to be an accident. That is the gun had been accidentally loaded.

    The continuing investigation turned up a witness who saw the old couples son loading the shotgun approximately six weeks prior to the fatal incident. It transpired that the old lady had cut off her sons finanical support and the son knowing the propensity of his father to use the shotgun threateningly loaded the gun with the expectation that his father would shoot his mother. The case now becomes one of murder on the part of the son for the death of Ronald Opus.

    There was an exquisite twist. Further investigation revealed that the son had become increasingly despondent over the failure of his attempt to engineer his mothers murder. This led him, Ronald Opus, to jump off the ten-story building on March 23rd only to be killed by a shotgun blast through a ninth story window.

    The medical examiner closed the case as a suicide.

    Sorry about the spelling mistakes that I'm sure there are, I had to hand type that.
    The only TWO TIME TWLJ All-Star and TWLB All-Star who never played a game.

    Originally posted by Richard Creager
    All space detectives come armed with tcp/ip persona blasting pistols, it's required for their line of duty. Silly of both maisoul and goddess to not know this before hand, they get what they deserved, fucking zapped, bitches.

  • #2
    My workmate here tells me that is what happens in Magnolia. Looks like Hollywood does more than recycle it's own shit.

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    • #3
      http://www.snopes.com/horrors/freakish/opus.htm

      Comment


      • #4
        If I remember correctly, there was a safety net to prevent jumpers.

        I remember that from near the beginning of school, it's a funny story .

        Comment


        • #5
          Yeah that was as weird as that bird getting hit with the baseball.
          Thrashing> "That'll be 25.99, thank you for buying, please come again"
          Thrashing> "LET'S FUCK!"
          Thrashing> Like that, Ott?
          Catgirl> rofl
          Missy> o.O im so leaving this chat

          Kim> hal, say fit of rage sucks ballz
          fit of r> here, i'll do it for you
          fit of r> I SUCK BALLS
          Kim> loool
          fit of r> I LOVE BIG HAIRY MAN BALLS

          Comment


          • #6
            I heard that one a radio show about 2 years ago for the joke of the day.
            "Bilbo" SS is a sophisticated chat channel, nothing more.

            Comment


            • #7
              How is the son even close to being charged with murder? Is it honestly his fault that his father is a sadistic bastard?
              Reclusion
              "That's what's so illogical about being a smurf. I mean, what's the point in living if you don't have a dick?"

              Comment


              • #8
                remember on law & order when Charlie made all those rich couples fuck each other and then killed them and then framed his brother Billy and Billy took the blame for it and then we find out that its because they've been having sex with each other and their dad walked in one them banging and he was all "you faggots" so they beat him

                i remember the police were interviewing Charlie's ex girlfriend and she was like "charlie was kind of quick in bed so he asked me to let billy join in so i let him but then it got kinda awkward so i got out and they just went at it together"

                good episode
                can we please have a moment for silence for those who died from black on black violence

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                • #9
                  Originally posted by Rudy
                  My workmate here tells me that is what happens in Magnolia. Looks like Hollywood does more than recycle it's own shit.
                  Just for clarification, they use it to demonstrate a theme in the movie. It's not a plot point. But yes, Magnolia is MUCH MUCH more than just a rehashed hollywood.

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                  • #10

                    awwww, shit..
                    The only TWO TIME TWLJ All-Star and TWLB All-Star who never played a game.

                    Originally posted by Richard Creager
                    All space detectives come armed with tcp/ip persona blasting pistols, it's required for their line of duty. Silly of both maisoul and goddess to not know this before hand, they get what they deserved, fucking zapped, bitches.

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      shouldn't threatening your wife with a gun (even if its not loaded) illegal already?

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        i hope not
                        can we please have a moment for silence for those who died from black on black violence

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          i actually discussed something like this in my law class, without the twist. instead it was train and shot to the chest (along the lines of how long it takes to die)

                          Originally posted by Send
                          shouldn't threatening your wife with a gun (even if its not loaded) illegal already?
                          and yeah it would be ""assault" send.
                          Last edited by Suh; 03-15-2005, 06:07 PM.
                          Reinstate Sarien
                          ph> AND THEN ME AND THE PLOINKIES WILL HEAD DOWN TO THE LOCAL CRUFFER FOR TEA AND WONKETS

                          Hal Wilker> Need I look recall the statement? And Suh.. control ya ho

                          "no, it's Monday, which of course means it's ethnic day, so ill be going with Rosalita"

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                          • #14
                            i knew it!

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