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Shot down like a plump turkey during the holidays

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  • #1

    Shot down like a plump turkey during the holidays

    I know turkeys don't fly.

    Anyway, here's how the story goes. I'm looking through the dictionary looking for the definition of 'converse'. I know what it is, but my English teacher says 'conversate' so much that I had doubts. Anyway, it turns out he's a bloody idiot like I thought he was.

    Well, I find out that one of the definitions for 'conversation' is sexual intercourse.

    Next day at school (today).

    "Hey, Victoria."

    "Yes?"

    "Did you know that one of the definitions for 'conversation' was sexual intercourse?"

    She laughs. "What??"

    "Really. Look it up, I shit you not that one of the definitions." After a long pause.... "So, do you wanna--"

    "No."

    Oshit I got postpwnd

    Just wanted to share one of my failed attempts at getting someone of the female persuasion in the sack.
    "I wanted to buy a candle holder, but the store didn't have one. So I got a cake."

    -RIP Mitch Hedberg
    Tags: None
  • #2
    Looking up words in the dictionary won't impress girls
    USS Banana after years of superior jav play has amassed 17999 kills, he is 1 kill away from 18k, Type ?go Javs FOR A GAME OF HUNT (no scorereset) -Kim
    ---A few minutes later---
    9:cool koen> you scorereseted
    9:Kim> UM
    9:Kim> i didn't
    9:cool koen> hahahahahahaha
    9:ph <ZH>> LOOOOL
    9:Stargazer <ER>> WHO FUCKING SCORERESET
    9:pascone> lol?

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    • #3
      dickhead

      n : One who looks up the word dickhead in a dictionary.

      Comment

      • #4
        IT'S A GOOD THING I WAS JOKING HUH

        No really I was. :fear:
        "I wanted to buy a candle holder, but the store didn't have one. So I got a cake."

        -RIP Mitch Hedberg

        Comment

        • #5
          If you weren't joking, then you just got hojaxed.
          Pandagirl!

          (ph)>12 is just right

          In the most dangerous game...warping will only prolong your defeat. ?go warpwars -Chao <ER>
          1:Chao <ER>> what the FUCK?
          1:Chao <ER>> I just adverted and no one came
          1:Chao <ER>> at all
          1:Mantra-Slider> chao
          1:Mantra-Slider> you are in the wrong arena
          Panda <ZH>> ?find chao <ER>
          Chao <ER> - hero

          Comment

          • #6
            You must wash ur pants in windex, cause i can see myself in them
            Lofty> Why must I sit in my chat, listening to some pseudo-homosexual adolescent males go over my looks with such care

            Comment

            • #7
              Originally posted by SaucyKing
              Oshit I got postpwnd

              Just wanted to share one of my failed attempts at getting someone of the female persuasion in the sack.
              Well, technically, it is a PrePWND or EpiPWND
              Originally posted by Jeenyuss
              sometimes i thrust my hips so my flaccid dick slaps my stomach, then my taint, then my stomach, then my taint. i like the sound.

              Comment

              • #8
                Or hojaxed!
                Pandagirl!

                (ph)>12 is just right

                In the most dangerous game...warping will only prolong your defeat. ?go warpwars -Chao <ER>
                1:Chao <ER>> what the FUCK?
                1:Chao <ER>> I just adverted and no one came
                1:Chao <ER>> at all
                1:Mantra-Slider> chao
                1:Mantra-Slider> you are in the wrong arena
                Panda <ZH>> ?find chao <ER>
                Chao <ER> - hero

                Comment

                • #9
                  I know posting about you getting beat up and you failing to chat someone up makes interesting conversation for everyone else, but you don't have to keep doing this to yourself, honest
                  Originally posted by Facetious
                  edit: (Money just PMed me his address so I can go to Houston and fight him)

                  Comment

                  • #10
                    Originally posted by ZeUs!!
                    I know posting about you getting beat up and you failing to chat someone up makes interesting conversation for everyone else, but you don't have to keep doing this to yourself, honest
                    Trust me, when I was talking to her, "Oh shit I just HAVE to post this on the TW forums" was not going through my mind.
                    "I wanted to buy a candle holder, but the store didn't have one. So I got a cake."

                    -RIP Mitch Hedberg

                    Comment

                    • #11
                      Originally posted by Killer Soldier
                      You must wash ur pants in windex, cause i can see myself in them
                      pickup lines (googled) this one's good:
                      134. Your legs must be tired because you've been running through my mind all night
                      thread killer

                      Also who changed to pw to Squadless, how am I supposed to fly the banner of sucking at the game

                      Comment

                      • #12
                        Originally posted by Edify
                        pickup lines (googled) this one's good:
                        134. Your legs must be tired because you've been running through my mind all night
                        Gee, that pickup line isn't old at all
                        "I wanted to buy a candle holder, but the store didn't have one. So I got a cake."

                        -RIP Mitch Hedberg

                        Comment

                        • #13
                          If your left leg was Thanksgiving and your right leg Christmas, could I visit you inbetween the holidays?

                          "There are those who said this day would never come. What have they to say now?"
                          .Halo.

                          Y'know... if you were any stupider, I swear death by laughter would be a real medical occurance.

                          Comment

                          • #14
                            Originally posted by Killer Soldier
                            You must wash ur pants in windex, cause i can see myself in them
                            Is your father a carpenter? Because when i see you I get a woody
                            Currently listening to:
                            Valient Thorr - Immortalizer
                            Dead to Me - Little Brother
                            Tim Barry - Manchester
                            Lemuria - Get Better
                            Alkaline Trio - Agony and Irony

                            Comment

                            • #15
                              Is your father a thief, because I saw him stealing clothes from a K-Mart.
                              "I wanted to buy a candle holder, but the store didn't have one. So I got a cake."

                              -RIP Mitch Hedberg

                              Comment

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