A day in the life of Squeezer

[Ewan]

What does wank mean in America?

[Dameon Angell]

I suppose if you say that you wank in america, people will assume that you mean to jack off, and that you're british.

[cundor]

I covered my teddybear's head with a pic of lindsay lohan. My teddybear has a real hole

[bloodzombie]

I have a 'jack it' jacket

[cundor]

hahahahaha

[Exotic]

cundor you are out of contol

[scumbag]

I covered my teddybear's head with a pic of lindsay lohan. My teddybear has a real hole

THAT
IS
SICK

the power of Christ compells you, THE POWER OF CHRIST COMPELLS YOU!!

[Squeezer]

I woke up at 7am. God why can't I lie in until 9am? I'm a failure. Had a wash and looked at my grotesque face in the mirror; I'm going to die a virgin. Decided to put two pairs of socks on today as it was quite cold outside, I'm such a pussy. Rode to school on the bus and only 1 girl looked at me, but she's really ugly and was probably trying to work out whether my nose is prosthetic or not. Man I can't wait until my next wank. Lessons seemed to take forever and I bet I learned nothing at all which will hinder any social progress I stand to make in later life. Wait I don't have a life. Only got two sandwiches for lunch, conclusive proof that my mother hates me. Also noticed that the rafters in the lunch hall have sufficient room to fix some rope around. The hot girl from the year above asked me out but I know she's just being ironic so I turned her down. Spent the next two lessons doodling planning how to best ambush that girl and make her pay for taking the piss out of me. The kids on the bus all sang happy birthday to me on the ride home and gave me presents, although they all hate me and just guessed it was my birthday. I put a drawing pin in Steve's sandwich wasn't looking. Got home and jizzed EVERYWHERE. Spent the evening reflecting my life on an internet forum. I know I'm only 17 but this is exactly what the rest of my life will be like. Lindsay Lohan hates me

Chin up chum!

wait what?

edit: fuck it, it's funny.

[Fit of Rage]

Mike wrote something clever? What?

[Squeezer]

I woke up at 5:30 am. God why can't I lie in until 9am? Had a wash and looked at my statuesque face in the mirror; I'm no longer a virgin! Decided not to wear socks today, seeing how it was sunny out. I'm such a rockstar! Rode the ferry to school and on the metro bus this 1 girl looked at me, and asked my number. I gave it to her. Classes seemed to take forever and I had a great discussion in Religion about the fourth commandment. I got a lunchables for lunch, conclusive proof that my mother is lazy, but loving. The hot girl from the year above asked me out but I then realized that I go to an all boys school, so this situation would never occur at school, silly me (ownt). Spent the next two lessons doodling my band name on a notebook, cuz I hate chemistry and Algebra. The kids on the baseball team all put faith in me, as I pitched today and only gave up two runs helping us win 12-2. I put a drawing pin in Steve's sandwich.....oh wait, i dont have a friend named steve. Got home and ate everything. Spent the evening wondering what some guy in England, who I have never even tried to lash out against could possibly have begrudgengly against me, and how he could justify what he believes to be my pitiful meaningless existence, and lack of a life, when he has over 2,000 more posts than me. I know I'm only 17 but this is exactly what the rest of my life will be like, happy. Zues hates me, and I don't know why.

also, I called Nate Robinson's cell phone and told him not to enter the draft, and that he should return to U.W. I doubt he'll listen.

do sober up mate. Oh wait, you're a drunk, my fault.

fixed.

[Jeenyuss]

What does wank mean in America?

I wrote wank on someone's binder and they didn't know what that means. I actually prefer wank over jack. Wank rolls off the toungue and into the heart.

[ConcreteSchlyrd]

Heh, it was all in good fun, my friend. Zeus is incapable of truly malicious acts (unless you count killing a bottle of Jameson in less than 30 minutes). And some of your posts could be construed as a bit of shoe-gazing. No one's saying it's a horrible thing, they're probably just noticing a little bit of Eeyore in you lately.

And you gotta admit, it was pretty funny. Creative at very least. Let's put it this way, it could've been in the format of every other stupid thread here:

OMGZORS SQUEEZER YOU ARE A LOOZER! I BANG CHICKZ ALL THE TIME AND TELL THEM TO GO WASH MY DERTY DISHES AFTERWERD! BITCHES LIKE DUDES WITH ESCALADES AND MASIVE BLING LIKE ME!11!! THUG LIFE 4 LIFE!!!132!!

Thankfully, it was nothing like this.

[Adeon]

No, squeez is cool, wtfz. Like the smiley above, that's how cool.

[ZeUs!!]

Argh why do I have to explain everything?! I don't hate anyone, I just noticed you were feeling sorry for yourself and wanted to point out that life's not actually that bad!

Wank rolls off the toungue and into the heart

... and over your hands

[Squeezer]

Argh why do I have to explain everything?! I don't hate anyone, I just noticed you were feeling sorry for yourself and wanted to point out that life's not actually that bad!


... and over your hands

well thanks.

I misunderstood and I appologize.

As I said, it was funny, but next time don't make such deliberate shots. I know I have a good life, I live in America for god's sake. Anyways, thanks....i guess