Why?

[Bawls]

The "WHY" questions of life.

#1...Why do we press harder on a remote control when we know the batteries are getting weak?

#2...Why do banks charge a fee on "insufficient funds" when they know there is not enough?

#3...Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars, but check when you say the paint is wet?

#4...Why doesn't glue stick to the bottle?

#5...Why do they use sterilized needles for death by lethal injection?

#6...Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard?

#7...Why does Superman stop bullets with his chest, but ducks when you throw a revolver at him?

#8...Why do Kamikaze pilots wear helmets?

#9...Whose idea was it to put an "S" in the word "lisp"?

#10..If people evolved from apes, why are there still apes?

#11..Why is it that no matter what color bubble bath you use the bubbles are always white?

#12..Is there ever a day that mattresses are not on sale?

#13..Why do people constantly return to the refrigerator with hopes that something new to eat will have materialized?

#14..Why do people keep running over a string a dozen times with their vacuum cleaner, then reach down, pick it up, examine it, then put it down to give the vacuum one more chance?

#15..Why is it that no plastic bag will open from the end you first try?

#16..How do those dead bugs get into those enclosed light fixtures?

#17..When we are in the supermarket and someone rams our ankle with a shopping cart then apologizes for doing so, why do we say, "It's all

right?"

Well, it isn't all right so why don't we say, "That hurt, you stupid idiot?"

#18..Why is it that whenever you attempt to catch something that's falling off the table you always manage to knock something else over?

#19..In winter why do we try to keep the house as warm as it was in summer when we complained about the heat?

#20..How come you never hear father-in-law jokes?

#21..If at first you don't succeed, shouldn't you try it like your wife told you to do it?

#22..And obviously if at first you don't succeed, then don't take up sky diving!

#23...And my FAVORITE...... The statistics on sanity are that one out of

every four persons is suffering from some sort of mental illness. Think of your three best friends, if they're okay, then it's you.

[Jeansi]

hehe loved the last one

ps:

9 Things I Hate About Everyone

1. People who point at their wrist while asking for the time.... I know where my watch is pal, where the fuck is yours? Do I point at my crotch when I ask where the toilet is?

2. People who are willing to get off their ass to search the entire room for the tv remote because they refuse to walk to the tv and change the channel manually.

3. When people say "Oh you just want to have your cake and eat it too". Damn right! What good is a cake if you can't eat it?

4. When people say "it's always the last place you look". Of course it is.
Why the fuck would you keep looking after you've found it? Do people do this? Who and where are they? Gonna Kick their ass!

5. When people say while watching a film "did you see that?". No Loser, I paid $12 to come to the cinema and stare at the fucking floor.

6. People who ask "Can I ask you a question?".... Didn't really give me a choice there, did ya sunshine?

7. When something is 'new and improved!'. Which is it?
If it's new, then there has never been anything before it. If it's an improvement, then there must have been something before it.

8. When people say "life is short". What the fuck?? Life is the longest damn thing anyone ever fucking does!!
What can you do that's longer?

9. When you are waiting for the bus and someone asks "Has the bus come yet?". If the bus came would I be standing here, dumbass?

[eehh]

there is no "why" in #9, 12, 16, 20, 21, 22 and 23.

and #23 isn't even a question..

[Dant-Zu]

Lol Jeansi, You made my day.

(You too Bawls)

[Stabwound]

The "WHY" questions of life.

#1...Why do we press harder on a remote control when we know the batteries are getting weak?

I know for a fact that my TV remote works easier if I push the buttons down harder when the batteries are dying.

[ZeUs!!]

I'm going to be a boring fucker but this just annoyed me

The "WHY" questions of life.

#1...Why do we press harder on a remote control when we know the batteries are getting weak?

Because its more likely to work

#2...Why do banks charge a fee on "insufficient funds" when they know there is not enough?

Because they're more likely to carry on making money

#3...Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars, but check when you say the paint is wet?

Because its immediately possible to check the paint

#4...Why doesn't glue stick to the bottle?

There's a chemical answer to this, I don't know it

#5...Why do they use sterilized needles for death by lethal injection?

Most people prefer to kill of a disease, it could still be passed on from the stiff

#6...Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard?

Tarzan doesn't exist so is subject to artistic license

#7...Why does Superman stop bullets with his chest, but ducks when you throw a revolver at him?

Because it still fucking hurts

#8...Why do Kamikaze pilots wear helmets?

In case they crashed before they got a chance to enter nirvana or whereever it is the Japanese go when they top themselves in glorious valour

#9...Whose idea was it to put an "S" in the word "lisp"?

The anglo-saxons

#10..If people evolved from apes, why are there still apes?

We evolved from a certain breed

#11..Why is it that no matter what color bubble bath you use the bubbles are always white?

Something about the properties of light and the spectrum and prisms etc

#12..Is there ever a day that mattresses are not on sale?

Yes

#13..Why do people constantly return to the refrigerator with hopes that something new to eat will have materialized?

A combination of desperation and inspiration, its the way the human mind works

#14..Why do people keep running over a string a dozen times with their vacuum cleaner, then reach down, pick it up, examine it, then put it down to give the vacuum one more chance?

Because they presume its stuck to the floor so they peel it off then gently put it down again so its not trodden in and the hoovers got more chance of sucking it up

#15..Why is it that no plastic bag will open from the end you first try?

You've been sold a dodgy lot of bags

#16..How do those dead bugs get into those enclosed light fixtures?

They're quite small

#17..When we are in the supermarket and someone rams our ankle with a shopping cart then apologizes for doing so, why do we say, "It's all right?"

Well, it isn't all right so why don't we say, "That hurt, you stupid idiot?"

Because most people are naturally polite, try shopping in Iraq

#18..Why is it that whenever you attempt to catch something that's falling off the table you always manage to knock something else over?

Tables generally have a lot on them, thats what they're there for

#19..In winter why do we try to keep the house as warm as it was in summer when we complained about the heat?

We don't, we try and keep it at a more suitable temperature, plus half the reason for complaining is the glare of the sun which you don't get from radiators. Who sets their heating to 'too hot'?

#20..How come you never hear father-in-law jokes?

Because they're not as bossy/nosey/annoying

#21..If at first you don't succeed, shouldn't you try it like your wife told you to do it?

Yes, you would have done it your way because you felt its more likely to succeed and now that it hasn't you'll try the alternative option

#22..And obviously if at first you don't succeed, then don't take up sky diving!

I would like the author of this email to take up sky diving

#23...And my FAVORITE...... The statistics on sanity are that one out of every four persons is suffering from some sort of mental illness. Think of your three best friends, if they're okay, then it's you.

Not all mental illnesses are as obvious as downs syndrome, a lot of people have something like OCD

...

[Ewan]

Pressing the buttons harder aren't more likely to make it work.

That's about it of the wrongness of Zeus.

[Pandagirl!]

The remotes for my TV only work if you press the buttons realllly really hard.

[Superted]

Because that's life.

[Twerp]

I liked Jeansi's more. The first and 8th of his are the best.

[RoDNeY]

hehe loved the last one

ps:

9 Things I Hate About Everyone

1. People who point at their wrist while asking for the time.... I know where my watch is pal, where the fuck is yours? Do I point at my crotch when I ask where the toilet is?

2. People who are willing to get off their ass to search the entire room for the tv remote because they refuse to walk to the tv and change the channel manually.

3. When people say "Oh you just want to have your cake and eat it too". Damn right! What good is a cake if you can't eat it?

4. When people say "it's always the last place you look". Of course it is.
Why the fuck would you keep looking after you've found it? Do people do this? Who and where are they? Gonna Kick their ass!

5. When people say while watching a film "did you see that?". No Loser, I paid $12 to come to the cinema and stare at the fucking floor.

6. People who ask "Can I ask you a question?".... Didn't really give me a choice there, did ya sunshine?

7. When something is 'new and improved!'. Which is it?
If it's new, then there has never been anything before it. If it's an improvement, then there must have been something before it.

8. When people say "life is short". What the fuck?? Life is the longest damn thing anyone ever fucking does!!
What can you do that's longer?

9. When you are waiting for the bus and someone asks "Has the bus come yet?". If the bus came would I be standing here, dumbass?

cough cough
http://www.funnyjunk.com/pages/annoy.htm
cough cough

tsk tsk jeansi

[Bilbo]

Zeus's answers were funnier than the questions. Could be because they are new , not like the questions.

[Squeezer]

fuck you zeus.

stop trying to ruin shit.

[Twerp]

cough cough
http://www.funnyjunk.com/pages/annoy.htm
cough cough

tsk tsk jeansi

Like Bawls made his up: link. Here's another: link

[Evasive]

cough cough
http://www.funnyjunk.com/pages/annoy.htm
cough cough

tsk tsk jeansi

It's orginally from maddox.xmission.com

ya tards