Favourite Comedians

[Tanzu]

nope, not Dave Attel

[Squeezer]

i don't see how dane cook is overrated other than the fact that he's pretty popular right now. his random humor really appeals to me i guess, a lot of my friends tell me that if i was a stand-up comedian i'd probably have a lot of the same type of material

I dont like Dane Cook, because I dont think hes funny.

Instead, I think he makes up for second rate jokes, with lots of energy and volume.

[Nickname]

Zach Galifinakis

[Squeezer]

oh, and you spelled the title of this thread wrong.

it's favorite, you limey!

[Troll King]

Only if you're American.

[Kolar]

Bill Oreilly :turned:.

Seriously though Dave Chapelle or Lewis Black.

[PrOnEsSim]

Hey, just wondering who all your favourite comedians/Stand up Comics are. Ill start off with mine:


7.Russell Peters

hes a funny man "So i was watching gay pride with my dad and these 3 indian guys came up and said "hey were indian and were gay!" he said what is this indians are not suppose to be gay, were indian there are no gay indians" lol that cracked me up. so ya i have to agree on that one!

YOU ALL FORGOT ABOUT ONE GUY!
JERRY SEINFELD! WOO
WOOO OWOWOOO

[404 Not Found]

Hmm...old school comedians:

Lenny Bruce
Woody Allen
Jonathan Winters
Richard Pryor
Rodney Dangerfield
Don Rickles
George Carlin

New or somewhat new:

Lewis Black
Chris Rock
Jimmy Kimmel...not sure if he would be considered a comedian, but cracks me up!
Andrew Dice Clay (may fit into old school as it's more `80's)
Eddie Murphy


So many to list...hehehe

[NaiLed]

no particular order

Ricky Gervais
Peter Kay
Steve Coogan
Omid Djalili
Ross Noble
Avid Merrion (whatever his real name is)
Sacha Baron Cohen (Borat at least)

some of these don't do stand-up

[sonlox]

1.Richard Pryor
2.Chris Rock
3.Dave Chappelle
4.Martin Lawrence
5.Robin Williams
6.Russell Peters


i would kill to see all of them in 1 show... its a dream tho.. can't happen

[Pearl Jam]

I dont like Dane Cook, because I dont think hes funny..

uhh...noted?

[ZeUs!!]

My favourite comedian is the DJ who made the trance remix of Rollin' by Limp Bizkit they just played at my gym

[ZeUs!!]

Peter Kay

This has undoubtedly been posting somewhere before, but to save you bothering the search button:



Peter Kaye Jokes

1) I saw a woman wearing a sweatshirt with 'Guess' on it. I said,
'Thyroid problem?'

2) When I was a kid I used to pray every night for a new bike. Then I
realised that The Lord doesn't work that way, so I stole one and asked
him to forgive me.

3) I've often wanted to drown my troubles, but I can't get my wife to
go swimming.

4) I was doing some decorating, so I got out my step-ladder. I don't
get on with my real ladder.

5) I went to a restaurant that serves 'breakfast at any time'. So I
ordered French Toast during the Renaissance.

6) A cement mixer collided with a prison van on the Kingston Bypass.
Motorists are asked to be on the lookout for 16 hardened criminals.

7) Well I was bullied at school, called all kinds of different names.
But one day I turned to my bullies and said 'Sticks and stones may break my
bones but names will never hurt me', and it worked! From there on it
was sticks and stones all the way.

8) My Dad used to say 'always fight fire with fire', which is probably why
he got thrown out of the fire brigade.

9) Sex is like bridge: If you don't have a good partner, you better
have a good hand.

10) I saw six men kicking and punching the mother-in-law. My neighbour
said 'Are you going to help?' I said 'No, six should be enough."

11) If we aren't supposed to eat animals, then why are they made out of
meat?

12) I think animal testing is a terrible idea; they get all nervous and
give the wrong answers.

13) You know that look women get when they want sex? No, me neither.

14) Politicians are wonderful people as long as they stay away from
things they don't understand, such as working for a living.

15) I was the kid next door's imaginary friend.

16) Right now I'm having amnesia and deja vu at the same time. I think
I've forgotten this before

1.2 Peter Kay's Universal Truths:

1) Triangular sandwiches taste better than square ones.

2) At the end of every party there is always a girl crying.

3) One of the most awkward things that can happen in a pub is when your
pint-to-toilet cycle gets synchronised with a complete stranger.

4) You've never quite sure whether it's ok to eat green crisps.

5) Everyone who grew up in the 80's has entered the digits 55378008
into a calculator.

6) Reading when you're drunk is horrible.

7) Sharpening a pencil with a knife makes you feel really manly.

8) You're never quite sure whether it's against the law or not to have a
fire in your back garden.

9) Nobody ever dares make cup-a-soup in a bowl.

10) You never know where to look when eating a banana.

11) Its impossible to describe the smell of a wet cat.

12) Prodding a fire with a stick makes you feel manly.

13) Rummaging in an overgrow garden will always turn up a bouncy ball.

14) You always feel a bit scared when stroking horses.

15) Everyone always remembers the day a dog ran into your school.

16) The most embarrassing thing you can do as schoolchild is to call
your teacher mum or dad.

17) The smaller the monkey the more it looks like it would kill you at
the first given opportunity.

18) Some days you see lots of people on crutches.

19) Every bloke has at some stage while taking a pee, flushed half way
through and then raced against the flush.

20) Old women with mobile phones look wrong.

21) Its impossible to look cool whilst picking up a Frisbee.

22) Driving through a tunnel makes you feel excited.

23) You never ever run out of salt.

24) Old ladies can eat more than you think.

25) You can't respect a man who carries a dog.

26) There's no panic like the panic you momentarily feel when you've
got your hand or head stuck in something.

27) No one knows the origins of their metal coat hangers.

28) Despite constant warning, you have never met anybody who has had
their arm broken by a swan.

29) The most painful household incident is wearing socks and stepping
an upturned plug.

30) People who don't drive slam car doors too hard.

31) You've turned into your dad the day you put aside a thin piece of
wood specifically to stir paint with.

32) Everyone had an uncle who tried to steal their nose.

33) Bricks are horrible to carry.

34) In every plate of chips there is a bad chip.

35) Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit; Wisdom is not putting it
in a fruit salad.

1.3 Some great questions, brought to you by Peter Kay:

1) Why does your gynaecologist leave the room when you get undressed?

2) If a person owns a piece of land do they own it all the way down to
the core of the earth?

3) Why can't women put on mascara with their mouth closed?

4) Is it possible to brush your teeth without wiggling your arse?

5) Why is it called Alcoholics Anonymous when the first thing you do is
stand up and say, 'My name is Peter and I am an alcoholic'?

6) Why are they called stairs inside but steps outside?

7) Why is there a light in the fridge and not in the freezer?

8) Why does mineral water that 'has trickled through mountains for
centuries' have a 'use by' date?

9) Why do toasters always have a setting that burns the toast to a
horrible crisp no one would eat?

10) Is French kissing in France just called kissing?

11) Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, 'I think I'll
squeeze these dangly things here and drink whatever comes out'?

12) What do people in China call their good plates?

13) Why do people point to their wrist when asking for the time, but
don't point to their crotch when they ask where the bathroom is?

14) What do you call male ballerinas?

15) Why is a person that handles your money called a 'Broker'?
16) If quizzes are quizzical, what are tests?

17) If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from
vegetables, then what is baby oil made from?

18) Why is it that when someone tells you that there are over a billion
stars in the universe, you believe them, but if they tell you there is wet
Paint somewhere, you have to touch it to make sure?

19) Do illiterate people get the full effect of Alphabet Soup?

20) Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's face, he gets mad
at you but when you take him on a car ride, he sticks his head out of
window?

[DoTheFandango]

[Edify]

george lopez