Spaceballs, the movie

[Ara]

DESERT - EAGLE 5 - NIGHT LONE STARR and BARF are getting ready to
leave.

LONE STARR Thanks for the gas, Yogurt.

YOGURT You're welcome, and here. (throws a fortune cookie at Lone
Starr) Just encase you get hungry.

LONE STARR (catches it) A fortune cookie?

YOGURT Yes. Remember, open it before you eat it.

LONE STARR Thanks. Well, we'd better get going. I wonder, we will we
ever see each other again.

YOGURT Who knows. God willing we'll all meet again in Spaceballs II:
The Search for More Money. Good-bye, Lone Starr.

LONE STARR Good-bye, Yogurt.

LONE STARR and YOGURT shake hands. When LONE STARR pulls his hand
back, he pulls back the ring.

LONE STARR The ring of the Schwartz. No, I can't take this.

YOGURT Take it. Take it. You might need it.

LONE STARR Thanks. I'll never forget you. Wish me luck. DINKS Dink,
dink.

LONE STARR climbs into Eagle 5. It starts up and takes off toward
space.

INT. SPACEBALL 1 - HELMET'S ROOM - SPACE HELMET is apparently
talking to VEPSA.

HELMET (mask up; talking in his mask down voice) So, Princess Vespa.
At last, I have you in my clutches. To have my way with you. The way
I want to.

He is playing with dolls.

HELMET (imitating Vespa) No. No, please, leave me alone. (mask down
voice) No you are mine. (imitating Lone Starr) Not so fast, Helmet.
(mask down voice) Lone Starr. (imitating Lone Starr) Yes, it's me.
I'm here to save my girlfriend. Hi, honey. (mask down voice) Now you
are going to die. (imitating Lone Starr) Oh, oh, ohhhh. (imitating
Barf) Hey, what did you do to my friend? (mask down voice) The same
thing I'm going to do to you, big boy. (imitating Barf) Oh, ohhh.
(mask down voice) And you too. (imitating Dot) Oh, ohh. (mask down
voice) Now, Princess Vespa, at last we are alone. (imitating Vespa)
No, no, I hate you. I hate you. I hate you. Leave me alone....yet, I
find you strangely attractive. (mask down voice) Of course you do.
Drewish princesses are always attracted to money and power. And I
have both, and you know it. (imitating Vespa) No, leave me alone.
(mask down voice) No, kiss me. (imitating Vespa) No, yes, no, yes,
yes, no, no, ah, oh, oh, oh, ah, ohh, oh, you're helmet is so big.

SANDURZ opens the door behind him.

SANDURZ Lord Helmet.

HELMET (holds all the dolls out of Sandurz's sight) What?

SANDURZ You're needed on the bridge, sir.

HELMET Knock on my door. Knock next time.

SANDURZ Yes, sir.

HELMET Did you see anything?

SANDURZ No, sir. I didn't see you playing with your dolls again.

HELMET Good.








That's one of the best comedy films I've ever seen, and I was wondering if
there was any site that would let me download it or any bittorrent site, FTP
server, mIRC server where it could be found? Well, I'll continue searching, just
came across with the script of the film and found this funny part where Helmet
was playing with his dolls decided to share it with ya'll!

[Superted]

Tut tut tut;

4. No Warez/Serials/Cracks/Hax0ring/SS Cheats/etc, including links. This includes discussions of bittorrent/DC or other file sharing programs. It’s just not what these boards are for.

Although, it is a great movie.

[Saturn V]

I have a friend that can quote the movie verbatim. All straight from memory, not a single hesitation, whether the movie is playing in front of him or not. It's incredible.

[Vehicle]

Ara, just go to a store and buy it, it'll be cheap. I bought it from the grocery store I work at for 4.99 lol.

[Liquid Blue]

Spaceballs fucking sucked, I don't know why so many liked it. The shit they had in there just wasn't funny.

[froedrick]

Spaceballs fucking sucked, I don't know why so many liked it. The shit they had in there just wasn't funny.

You my friend, are crazy. -_-

[Liquid Blue]

Crazy like an astute, truth-speaking fox.

[froedrick]

I was thinking more along the lines of a child from a remote community who suffers from Fetal alcohol syndrome and can't think properly and doesn't quite understand what real humour is. :greedy:

[Saturn V]

I was thinking more along the lines of a child from a remote community who suffers from Fetal alcohol syndrome and can't think properly and doesn't quite understand what real humour is. :greedy:

Seriously LB, what's wrong with you? :P

[Liquid Blue]

I'm a misunderstoon Genius, that's all

Really though, pick any episode of..hell, Reno 911 and it will be better than Spaceballs.

[froedrick]

I like mel brooks... splains my name I guess.

[Saturn V]

I'm a misunderstoon Genius, that's all

Really though, pick any episode of..hell, Reno 911 and it will be better than Spaceballs.

Reno 911 is hilarious yes. It's not the same kind of funny, though.

However, I've been in your situation with other movies before. Here are movies that I hated that other people thought were great: Napoleon Dynamite, Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back, Rushmore, and The Royal Tenenbaums.

[Saturn V]

From Wikiquote:

SANDURZ: Sir, I have an idea. Corporal, get me a videotape of Spaceballs: the Movie. (Corporal goes off to Mr. Rental)
DARK HELMET: Colonel Sandurz, may I speak with you please? (throws facemask up) How can there be a videotape of the movie? We're still in the middle of making it!
SANDURZ: Yes, but there's been a new breakthrough in home video technology.
DARK HELMET: There has?
SANDURZ: Yes. Instant cassettes. They're out in stores before the movie is finished.
DARK HELMET: (in disbelief) Nah.
CORPORAL: Here it is sir! Spaceballs!
SANDURZ: Very good, now put it in the machine. (FBI Warning is on TV screen) Much too early, prepare to fast forward.
CORPORAL: Preparing to fast forward.
SANDURZ: Fast forward!
CORPORAL: Fast forwarding, sir!
(Early parts of movie run by at accelerated pace. Movie reaches Ludicrous Speed scene and reaches point where Dark Helmet flies into controls.)
DARK HELMET: No no, go past-past this part. In fact, never play it again.
(Static is on screen)
SANDURZ: Try here. Stop.
(Tape plays to current moment in movie. (Think about what happens if you take a video recorder and film the TV where the images are being shown at that moment). Sandurz and Dark Helmet alternate between watching the screen and watching the camera, with Dark Helmet waving his hand slowly.)
DARK HELMET: What the hell am I looking at? When does this happen in the movie?
SANDURZ: Now, you're looking at now, sir. Everything that's happening now is happening now. (points to screen)
DARK HELMET: What happened to then?
SANDURZ: We missed it.
DARK HELMET: When?
SANDURZ: Just now. You're at now now.
DARK HELMET: Go back to then.
SANDURZ: We can't.
DARK HELMET: Why not?
SANDURZ: We missed it.
DARK HELMET: When?
SANDURZ: Just now.
DARK HELMET: When will then be now?
SANDURZ: Soon.
DARK HELMET: How soon?
(Corporal rewinds tape back to scene showing protagonists wandering in desert.)
CORPORAL: Sir!
DARK HELMET: What?!
CORPORAL: We have uncovered their location.
DARK HELMET: Where?!
CORPORAL: It's the moon of Vega.
SANDURZ: Very good, set a course and prepare for our arrival.
DARK HELMET: (Increasingly flustered) When?!
CORPORAL: 1900 hours.
SANDURZ: By high noon tomorrow, they will be our prisoners.
DARK HELMET: WHO?!! (facemask drops down)

[Superted]

The best bit from the entire movie is where the guy from the Police Academy movies does the sounds, even when his radio is down and Dark Helmet has a fit with the radio, classic.

[ZeUs!!]

Is it a Mel Brooks film? If it is I've seen it and there's one funny bit in the whole film