for alot of ppl in here, the last piece of ass they got was when their finger poked thru the toilet paper
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Originally posted by EphemeralAbsolute worse is cheap TP that tears and you poke your finger through it.
Our CFO is so concerned about saving money, he encourages everyone to use only a single sheet of TP, explains to everyone how you can fold a single sheet four times and get the job done.
LOL
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Originally posted by EphemeralAbsolute worse is cheap TP that tears and you poke your finger through it.
Our CFO is so concerned about saving money, he encourages everyone to use only a single sheet of TP, explains to everyone how you can fold a single sheet four times and get the job done.
LOL
I immediately cursed and resorted to my normal method.boo...:eek:
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Originally posted by Facetiousalso i would like to point out that if youre ever in the woods taking a shit, the best natural toilet paper ever is smooth river rocks. if i could, i would use smooth river rocks every time i poop.Ripper>cant pee with a hard on
apt>yes u can wtf
apt>you need to clear the pipes after a nice masturbation
apt>i just put myself in a wierd position
apt>so i dont miss the toilet
Ripper>but after u masterbaition it usually goes down
apt>na
apt>ill show you pictures
apt>next time I masturbate
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A Two-Ply Tragedy -stuff magazine
Marcal boasts that its “1,000-sheet rolls last longer than the average tissue.” Not long enough, as far as we’re concerned! Good thing they also provide a phone number.
Stuff, 3/16/2004
By Bill Schulz
STUFF: [Whispering] Yeah, uh, I’m calling from my cell phone. I’ve, um, I’ve taken a bathroom break in the middle of an important meeting, and there’s no more TP in this stall. I need some more ASAP. Unnngh. Please help me!
MARCAL REPRESENTATIVE: Hold one moment, please.
Ma’am, I can’t hold. This is an emergency.
Yes, but I’m going to put you right through to someone.
Look, I just made a high-fiber peanut loaf of epic proportions, and there is absolutely no toilet paper at all. Do your job and help me!
Excuse me? OK, hold one moment. I’ve got to get somebody to help you.
Can you just give me some advice? This is a new job.
I’m sorry, sir. Maybe you should call the hospital.
Well, I wouldn’t say that this is an injury or anything. The only emergency is this midget that came out of me. Jiminy Crickets, I’m stinky!
Maybe use a sock and then wash yourself after? This way, you know, you don’t smell.
There’s a lot of smelly poo-poo.
Maybe just throw the sock away afterward? [Speaks with coworker] Yeah, my supervisor says to use your sock. Nobody will notice your missing sock.
The sock is a cotton-poly blend. Is that bad for my boom-boom maker?
He said that’s the only thing he can recommend.
My rectum is winking now. Should I wait and wipe when it’s done winking?
[Distressed] Uh…yeah? Yeah, maybe you should. OK, sir?
It’s winking repeatedly now. Does that mean more doo-doo is going to come out?
I have no idea, sir. I am not a doctor. Maybe you should call the hospital, and maybe they can suggest something. I wouldn’t call 911, but I would call the hospital.
OK, thank you.
Goodbye.Ripper>cant pee with a hard on
apt>yes u can wtf
apt>you need to clear the pipes after a nice masturbation
apt>i just put myself in a wierd position
apt>so i dont miss the toilet
Ripper>but after u masterbaition it usually goes down
apt>na
apt>ill show you pictures
apt>next time I masturbate
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Originally posted by Facetiousalso i would like to point out that if youre ever in the woods taking a shit, the best natural toilet paper ever is smooth river rocks. if i could, i would use smooth river rocks every time i poop.My father in law was telling me over Thanksgiving about this amazing bartender at some bar he frequented who could shake a martini and fill it to the rim with no leftovers and he thought it was the coolest thing he'd ever seen. I then proceeded to his home bar and made four martinis in one shaker with unfamiliar glassware and a non standard shaker and did the same thing. From that moment forward I knew he had no compunction about my cock ever being in his daughter's mouth.
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Originally posted by ZeUs!!Ewan got a bit obsessive and drew a load of pictures on this subject once, but I much prefer the scratchy stuff as the soft and smooth stuff doesn't pick anything up, it's like trying to sand something with silk
I remember another pic I posted of some guy wiping his arse really oddly with the paper kinda winding through his legs, but I didn't draw that one, I found it somewhere.USS Banana after years of superior jav play has amassed 17999 kills, he is 1 kill away from 18k, Type ?go Javs FOR A GAME OF HUNT (no scorereset) -Kim
---A few minutes later---
9:cool koen> you scorereseted
9:Kim> UM
9:Kim> i didn't
9:cool koen> hahahahahahaha
9:ph <ZH>> LOOOOL
9:Stargazer <ER>> WHO FUCKING SCORERESET
9:pascone> lol?
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