Serious Thread

[Squeezer]

So, one of my really good friends from Junior High called me today to tell me he just got home from the doctor's office, and he tested positive to HIV. That means that one day, he will die from complications due to AIDs. He just sobbed and sobbed into the phone, and I didn't know what to tell him.

Tomorrow, I'm going to his house to hang out, and I need some advice on something I can say to him that is in any way consoling. He's a good guy, and he just made a mistake.

I figure a lot of you guys have perspective, and a few of you have experience, so any help is needed. Please, also be serious, as this is still a little overwhelming for me.

[Subjugation]

I dunno man, that's a tough situation.

From my experience, when people are faced with something of that magnitude, the thing they want most is to be listened to. It's probably like being told you have cancer and herpes at the same time. What I mean by that is there's probably some level of shame, but also the sobering awareness of your own mortality.

If he's a good friend, I would just reassure him that you will be there for him---because I guarantee you he needs all the love and support that he can find. And be sure you're up to it. It will be a hard road for you, as well. Because when a good friend of yours faces something serious, in a way, you're both facing it.

[Fit of Rage]

Try to remind him that we're all mortal. Everyone has a set lifespan, his will probably just be slightly smaller. Tell him to make the most of what he has and don't let some disease keep him from doing things he would like to do normally (mountain climbing, sports, school, etc.).

[D1st0rt]

Also tell him that nowadays people can live for a really long time with HIV (20+ years)

[Galleleo]

Does he only have the Virus in him, carrier, or is the virus active within him? So is he actually sick off HIV?

Not sure of the HIV positive thing implies any of the too. Dutch / English differences. I just know that you can have HIV, but only carry the virus and not get sick off it. Or you can have HIV and get sick off it, and then eventually (could take decades) die from it.

[Sarien]

I don't really have any advice, but, I'm incredibly curious as to how he possibly contracted it.

[Dameon Angell]

With modern medicine, in our lifetime, there is a much larger chance that HIV can be helped (probably not 100% cured) with some sort of pill(s) or vaccines. Probably something that can let you live your life w/o that fear.

[Subjugation]

I don't really have any advice, but, I'm incredibly curious as to how he possibly contracted it.

What elephant in the room? I don't see one. :fear:

[DoTheFandango]

Uh. Hmm.

Shit sucks.

[Sarien]

What elephant in the room? I don't see one. :fear:

Dancing around something so obvious has never, in the entirety of mankind, done anyone any good.

[Squeezer]

I don't really have any advice, but, I'm incredibly curious as to how he possibly contracted it.

unprotected sex. It was a mistake, he acknowledged that.

And I just talked to him, he's going to take those cocktails and shit, but they're expensive.

And Gal, right now he's only a carrier, because he doesn't have another disease attacking his immune system, but he has to be very careful.

[MirrorriM]

Since he contracted it, he's not a carrier. A carrier is genetic. When two get together and have a kid-then the kid has HIV.

And yeah, people can live a very long time with HIV. It all depends on its incubation period. Some will get complications in 3 months, others, never (very lucky ones).

Look at Magic Johnson: he was cured! But he also had millions of dollars and got nearly any concoction put in him illegally. (or so we all presume).

As for advice, just tell him youre with him all the way, that you arent going to leave him (he must feel extrememly lonely right now) and plan a fun event to go to with him to get back into normal activities again. Listen, but dont let him mope.

[DonkeyDude22]

Your prob better off not being his friend anymore, dont risk catching hiv yourself

Plenty more fish in the sea

[Colossos]

Two or three things you can do. Stick with him, and reassure him you're always there for him - he needs to hear things like that at the moment. Don't take away hope, try to stay away from the subject of mortality unless he brings it up. As Dameon said, it's possible that even within his lifetime a treatment for AIDs may be discovered, so it's always good to be optimistic. Also, try to help him do everything he wants, because if the inevitable does have to be faced, he doesn't need to spend his last days regretting not doing stuff.

Good luck to both of you.

[PrOnEsSim]

Squeezer i love that song!! [on your pro] NO YOU WOTN EVER GET TO FARR FROM MEEE.. ILL JUST WANNA BRAKE YOU DOWNN SO BADLY

lol listenin to it right now.. xD anyways just talk to the guy, is really i can say..