weird entertaining stories thread

[tugs]

i'm bored. somebody tell me a story.

wait maybe i'll tell a story then someone else can tell a story then it'll be fun.

ok. a couple years ago i got a summer job at this camp for disabled people. the work was care work and planning stuff to do, basically help these people have a holiday. i had never done care work of any kind really, and the first week i was there was level 4 care week. i dont know if this means same thing everywhere, but there it means that the campers were mostly in wheelchairs and most of our job was changing their clothes for them, and helping them eat and stuff like that. so anyway, my cabin was all women, which seems a bit messed up, but seeing as there were 5 guys and 30 some girls on staff, they wanted to spread out the lifting power....

so ok, this one lady, all the time whenever i was like helping her get dressed, she'd wait until she was like totally naked, then say stuff like, "you remind me of my ex-husband" freaked me out first couple times, my face must have been really red.

anyway, that's my story. if i've bored you, sorry.
someone tell me a story.

[Money]

ROFL hahahahahahahahahaha i would walk out

[Pandagirl!]

Well I have a million random pointless stories, but since this one is on my myspace blog, and I can copy and paste it, I'll post it.

Alright I'm tired of telling people about the bird at work, so I'm going to post it here so I can forever laugh at myself.

So Ryan Farina and I are standing at the end of our registers like good little cashiers when we hear this squawking sound. We both look at each other, and he says, "Was that a bird?" Sure enough, a guy walks out of the pet food aisle with a bird on his shoulder. Now I'm fine with birds, as long as they don't get too close to me, like on my shoulder. If they're on my finger it's fine. So I said, "I like your bird sir!" and he proceeds to come over and put it on my shoulder before I could say anything. He then says, "I'll be right back" and goes off to finish his shopping.

So I'm standing there petrified and Ryan is doubled over laughing at me. What a great friend. Meanwhile, the bird is squawking its head off, SO LOUD, right in my ear. The entire front end was turned around looking at me and the dumb bird!

So finally the guy comes back and I had him get that bird off me right away. I then go to start scanning his stuff and I notice he has alcohol. So I call in the 99 and I'm waiting for Laura when he decides he wants the bird to ride on the belt. So I turn it on, let the bird come down a few feet, then I decided that was close enough and stopped it.

So Laura comes over, sees the bird, and proceeds to freak out. Apparently she's afraid of birds too. So she scans it as fast as she can then literally runs away. Meanwhile, Aubree, my bagger, has run away and is nowhere to be found. I guess he just had to pick the register where everyone was afraid of birds, eh?

So everything is all ready to go, I give him the total, and of course he can't find his wallet. He asks if he can run to his car and get it, I say sure, and away he goes... without the bird. HURRAY! ME ALONE WITH THE BIRD AGAIN! As soon as he leaves, the bird starts squawking... again. But louder. And more often. EVERYONE is looking around, trying to find the dumb bird.

Then some customer came over and took the bird and started playing with it. She made it shut up, well, at least a little bit. And she kept it away from me. Finally the guy came back about 5 minutes later, took his bird, and left.

What a great experience.

[ZeUs!!]

I've got a story where zeus comes in at around 2am as he went on the history social (his course) and he got blind drunk as he started drinking at around 4pm - and he remembered while he was making a forum post that a recruitment agency phoned him at 6pm - and he was dissappointed in his collegues for fucking off so early but he's grateful as he's got a phone call tomorrow at 9am and he wont be as fucked for it as he was imaginging it. He's also grateful for his flatmate fucking off on holiday and leaving pate in the fridge so he's got something to put in his munchies sandwich. He's also very grateful for the backspace button on his keyboard. And the ability to talk in 3rd person. Rock and roll: .