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The Stella Awards

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  • The Stella Awards

    My friend sent me this and I thought it was amusing on how horrible these lawsuits are that people can actually win.

    It's time once again to consider the candidates for the annual Stella Awards. The Stella's are named after 81-year-old Stella Liebeck who spilled coffee on herself and successfully sued McDonalds. That case inspired the Stella Awards for the most frivolous successful lawsuits in the United States.

    The following are this year's candidates:

    1. Kara Walton of Claymont, Delaware, successfully sued the owner of a nightclub in a neighboring city when she fell from the bathroom window to the floor and knocked out her two front teeth. This occurred while Ms. Walton was trying to sneak through the window in the ladies room to avoid paying the $3.50 cover charge. She was awarded $12,000 and dental expenses.

    2. Jerry Williams of Little Rock, Arkansas, was awarded $14,500 and medical expenses after being bitten on the buttocks by his next-door neighbor's beagle. The beagle was on a chain in its owner's fenced yard. The award was less than sought because the jury felt the dog might have been just a little provoked at the time by Mr. Williams who was shooting it repeatedly with a pellet gun.

    3. A 19-year-old Carl Truman of Los Angeles won $74,000 and medical expenses when his neighbor ran over his hand with a Honda Accord. Mr. Truman apparently didn't notice there was someone at the wheel of the car when he was trying to steal his neighbor's hub caps.

    4. A. Philadelphia restaurant was ordered to pay Amber Carson of Lancaster, Pennsylvania, $113,500 a! after she slipped on a soft drink spill and broke her coccyx (tailbone). The beverage was on the floor because Ms. Carson had thrown it at her boyfriend 30 seconds earlier during an argument.

    5. Terrence Dickson of Bristol, Pennsylvania, was leaving a house he had just finished robbing by way of the garage. He was not able to get the garage door to go up since the automatic door opener was malfunctioning. He couldn't reenter the house because the door connecting the house and garage locked when he pulled it shut. The family was on vacation, and Mr. Dickson found himself locked in the garage for eight days. He subsisted on a case of Pepsi he found and a large bag of dry dog food. He sued the homeowner's insurance claiming the situation caused him undue mental anguish. The jury agreed to the tune of $500,000.

    6. A jury of her peers awarded Kathleen Robertson of Austin, Texas, $780,000 after breaking her ankle by tripping over a toddler who was running inside a furniture store. The owners of the store were understandably surprised at the verdict, considering the misbehaving little toddler was Ms. Robertson's son.

    7. This year's favorite could easily be Mr. Merv Grazinski of Oklahoma City, Oklahoma. Mr. Grazinski purchased a brand new 32-foot Winnebago motor home. On his first trip home, having driven onto the freeway, he set the cruise control at 70 mph and calmly left the drivers seat to go into the back and make himself a cup of coffee. Not surprisingly, the R.V. left the freeway, crashed and overturned. Mr. Grazinski sued Winnebago for not advising him in the owner's manual that he couldn't actually do this. The jury awarded him $1,750,000 plus a new motor home. The company actually changed their manuals on the basis of this suit, just in case there were any other complete morons buying their recreation vehicles.
    DELETED

  • #2
    Wow.

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    • #3
      the system really does work!
      sigpic
      All good things must come to an end.

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      • #4
        Half those people should be in jail instead of getting money, unfortunately we dont have enough room to prosecute such people because of all the people in prison on minor offences (possession, etc.) so we just hand em fucking money. I mean shit. I'm gonna break my arm trying to break down some door and sue the motherfuckers for having too tough of a door.
        While I'm sippin herbal teas verbal bees plant fertile seeds
        Bitches leave with broke backs, swollen palms and purple knees

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        • #5
          Originally posted by Fidel Castro
          I mean shit. I'm gonna break my arm trying to break down some door and sue the motherfuckers for having too tough of a door.
          afk

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          • #6
            like in rat race?
            sigpic
            All good things must come to an end.

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            • #7
              lolololololololololololololoololololololololololol olololol

              Edit: I would have been a millionaire by now if I could sue for those kinds of things..
              Maybe God was the first suicide bomber and the Big Bang was his moment of Glory.

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              • #8
                http://www.stellaawards.com/bogus.html ????
                Reinstate Sarien
                ph> AND THEN ME AND THE PLOINKIES WILL HEAD DOWN TO THE LOCAL CRUFFER FOR TEA AND WONKETS

                Hal Wilker> Need I look recall the statement? And Suh.. control ya ho

                "no, it's Monday, which of course means it's ethnic day, so ill be going with Rosalita"

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                • #9
                  aww
                  DELETED

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                  • #10
                    Here are some official ones:http://www.stellaawards.com/caselog.html
                    DELETED

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                    • #11
                      i started reading them after i found the bogus link. :P

                      i like the "§ Man hit by lightning in parking lot. A classic "act of God"? Heavens no! It's the fault of the amusement park that owns the lot, man says in his lawsuit -- they "could have told the people not to go to their cars," his lawyer says.§"
                      Reinstate Sarien
                      ph> AND THEN ME AND THE PLOINKIES WILL HEAD DOWN TO THE LOCAL CRUFFER FOR TEA AND WONKETS

                      Hal Wilker> Need I look recall the statement? And Suh.. control ya ho

                      "no, it's Monday, which of course means it's ethnic day, so ill be going with Rosalita"

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                      • #12
                        ..
                        Last edited by Eric is God; 10-03-2006, 03:12 AM.

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                        • #13
                          Originally posted by Eric is God
                          The American legal system is one of the main reasons I would be reluctant to move there later in life. Not that the Canadian legal system is amazing, but it does a much better job of handling frivolous lawsuits. The primary reason is that in Canadian law, pain and suffering awards are very restricted. I think there have only been a handful of million dollar awards in the last 20 years and those involved loss of limbs, sight or something equally important. I've always said the American dream is to be hit by a car driven by someone rich.
                          Lol, that's why I'm in law school.
                          DELETED

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                          • #14
                            What they don't tell you is that many times those cases are appealed and overturned by a not completely batshit crazy jury.
                            Originally posted by Tone
                            Women who smoke cigarettes are sexy, not repulsive. It depends on the number smoked. less is better

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                            • #15
                              I was hoping they'd be awards for lager based achievements
                              Originally posted by Facetious
                              edit: (Money just PMed me his address so I can go to Houston and fight him)

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