Worst First Date

[Scurvy]

i'm sure there's been a similar thread...obviously i'm too lazy to search, and i recently had a rather embarassing experience.

it wasnt our 'first date' persay, but it was the first time i met her parents, and we were eating dinner at their house when i excused myself to use the resteroom. I go in, do my business, and wrap it up only to find that the toilet is clogged. Well, that sucks, but it happens...i look around for a plunger, and start getting panicked when i realized that there is none to be found. At this point i'm already minorly embarassed, because i've been in there for a while, and i am in a strange environment with two people i'm trying to make a good impression on...I quickly ran over my options and decided i couldnt just leave it there and ignore it...i mean. thats silly. I also didnt want to return to the dinner table only to pull the girl aside (probably with lots of giggling) and pull her away to the curious stares of her parents. so i ended up calling her cell phone and having her bring me a plunger and a candle....and eventually returning to the table to resume my meal. obviously this was a scarring event for me, and naturally her whole family knows by now what happened. i think i'm going to dump her before christmas so that i dont have to deal with the extended family. why does this shit always happen to me


lets hear more horror stories

[kthx]

Can you tell me which blog you are getting these stories from, they look interesting.

[Scurvy]

right. i'm not sure if i should be flattered or offended. fuck off.

[Liquid Blue]

candle was a nice touch, I wouldn't have thought of that

can't say I have horror stories like that though, maybe I'll get some in the future.

[Facetious]

why did you bother to call this worst first dates when yours wasnt about a first date at all?

i tend to have toilets clog when im drunk and least equipped to handle it, that sucks.

[Twerp]

Whats embarrassing is how my parents got me a toilet for a christmas present (this year) because I kept on clogging my old one. This one is pretty good (already installed).

[Edify]

What are you going to do with the candle? Stir?

[Scurvy]

what is it with all of you that you can't focus on the main idea of a thread. and yes, i was going to stir with a fucking candle. i'm losing more and more respect for all of trench wars by the minute

[phata$$]

I went to the movies with this one girl and went in for a kiss but ended up with a mouthful of her hair. I was chewing gum so she got a head full of bubbalicious. We left the movie to clean out her hair but it wasn't helping so she just cut it. I tormented my whole junior year. But I am still good friends with her and we always get a good laugh talking about it. But yeah, I don't like going on dates.

[Noah]

This happened almost 1,5 year ago.

I met this really awesome, hot chick at the bar I hang at, and we hit it off. We actually came to the stage where we called the day after, and there were a huge spark. The day after, I went to eat a kebab at a new place, and ended up with a severe case of food poisoning and diarrhea. I hoped to be somewhat fine in time for the date, but it was the worst day. Refusing to give up the date, I went and met her. I could barely walk, and I walked like I had been raped. I can remember that she gave me a "wtf" look the entire day. Anyway, I had to ditch her every 20th minute to go take a shit. At some time she suggest to take some beers at the bar, and it made me a little better. A few beers ended up in alot, and I were pissed at the end of the night. After the bar closed we went to a festival for a local MC gang. When we came there I ended up sitting pissed drunk, shitting nonstop for 2 hours, while she banged on the door asking me if I were ok. The whole date were shit for my part, because I were in too much pain and embarssed to do enjoy it.

It all ended good at her place, she actually stood there waiting for me, fending off huge angry bikers that threatened to bash down the door and beat me.

Oh, just remembered that the day after she saw my white boxer with huge skidmarks. Kthxbai.

[Liquid Blue]

What are you going to do with the candle? Stir?

Make the bathroom smell better

[genocidal]

Thankfully I've never had a really embarrassing first date, or any date really. I've had the stern talking-to's from concerned dads about drunk driving but I'm a healthy looking American white kid so they don't fret too much. Like LB said in the other thread: it could be worse, it could be Jeen.

One time I was getting out of my girlfriend's mom's Audi A4 and tripped over the seatbelt and busted my ass on the concrete. I mean it hurt like fuck and of course she laughed her ass off. It was kind of weird because I didn't know her that well then but I know I would have laughed at me too (and I did until I realized how much it goddamn hurt).

Another time my girlfriend's brother (age 8 or 9 or something) walked in on me and my girlfriend having sex. Very awkward but he played it off like a pro: ran in through the door, saw me on top of her and us looking at him, stopped, turned around, and ran the fuck back out. I'm pretty sure he never told her parents but he definitely knew what sex was because he made jokes about it later.

[Zeebu]

we had an intercom system in every room in my fraternity house when i was in college. i think this was maybe sophomore year or so. every room in the house is lofted, so i was up there balls deep behind a girl i had met at a party the weekend before.

well, i got the "sex police" called in on me.

sex police = people screaming on the intercom your room followed by a barrage of people entering the room and yelling snide things and throwing random things up in the loft... nothing that would hurt anyone, jsut tryign to be dicks about it.

well, i was pissed so i got down and ran out of my loft caught one of my brothers and smacked him around a bit. i then went back to my room to continue where i left off. i was still naked wearing the condom, but she had got down and was getting dressed to leave.

she never called me back =(

[Liquid Blue]

that's awesome.

[Facetious]

what is it with all of you that you can't focus on the main idea of a thread. and yes, i was going to stir with a fucking candle. i'm losing more and more respect for all of trench wars by the minute

YOU didn't stick with the main idea of the thread. You said it was about worst first dates, and then you told a story about an established relationship and shitting. If you don't tell a story about first dates, others can sidetrack the thread to stories about shitting. At least that's something you actually talked about.

edit: Fine, I'll tell a story, probably already told it on here at some point, but whatever. When I was at school at Tulane, my girlfriend from up here came to visit me. She shows up, I put a sign on the door that says "go away, Kevin" to my roommate, and start having sex. I was vaguely aware that my roommate was getting drunk (this was at like 3:00 PM). I hear knocks at the door mid-thrust, and I yell "go away." I hear some weird noises and then laughing, and then about 45 seconds later, the fucking fire alarm goes off. My roommate lit the sign on fire. So I'm pretty pissed off about that, and when I come back to the room the cops are there asking me all these questions, and it was pretty obvious my roommate did it, but I lied and said, "no, it must have just been some dude, I don't know." Later during that visit, I arrange with him that he's going to stay out until at least 3:00 AM, to give us some time alone, but the fucker comes back to the room and crashes at 10:30, since he'd been drinking since 3. My girlfriend and I go out and I get shitfaced, and then the next morning, I'm thinking, you know what, this guy sleeps like a rock, he's fucked me over completely here, I'm hungover, I'm going to have sex with him in the room. My buddy, who is normally a really good friend and really laid back, wakes up apparently, and afterwards, starts yelling at me at saying "She is a bad guest" blah blah. This is a guy who had asked me to tag team his girlfriend with him at some point earlier in the year. Didn't make a lot of sense. I've never figured out quite what his deal was with the whole thing, but thank god I'm not 18 anymore. Also, at some point during that visit, I left for a class, and I came back and my girlfriend, who had never drank before, drank like 7 shots of Captain with my friends in the middle of the day, went to eat at the dining hall, and then puked in front of a prospective student/parent tour group.